“He likes me but started dating someone else” – this is a phenomenon I’ll never understand, but unfortunately, it’s also something that happens to many women around the world.
He finally gathers the courage to admit his feelings and rises you up onto cloud nine, but then everything falls apart, and you find yourself standing firmly on solid ground again. You find out he’s already seeing another girl.
I know, it’s so senseless and deeply unfair… To give someone false hope and then break their heart into pieces. You feel used, like you were just a backup plan, like he was only playing games with you, and no matter how much you try, you just can’t stop thinking about it.
Well, it’s only because you’re still searching for answers, and until you get them, you won’t be able to get the situation out of your head. Luckily, all the answers are waiting for you in this article.
He Likes Me But Started Dating Someone Else: 16 Reasons Why
Let’s find out the true reason your man has been involved in a relationship with a new girl even though he showed you clearly he likes you.
1. You blocked his first move
If he has already tried to win you over and you blocked his move, he has probably seen it as a red flag that you don’t like him.
He probably met that new girl and decided to get into a relationship with her. However, this doesn’t mean you should fall into despair immediately.
If you give him a few hints you do like him after all, he might break up with her and start flirting with you again. Don’t ever lose hope because hope is what keeps us alive.
2. His insecurities won’t allow him to follow his heart
Does your man have low self-esteem? Does he struggle with different insecurities that make him feel unworthy of love?
If you know for sure this is the case, there is your answer to why he is involved with someone else despite the fact that he likes you. His insecurities made him run away from you, and that new girl is just helping him distance himself from you more.
3. He got scared of his own feelings
Perhaps he doesn’t just like you – maybe he has caught more serious feelings for you already. If that is true, he probably got scared of all those feelings because men are like that.
They don’t like to fall in love too soon, at least not until they get to know the other person very well. It’s actually a good thing, but they shouldn’t run away from their feelings – they should just slow down and take baby steps when it comes to the woman they fall for.
4. He got tired of waiting
Did you make him wait too long? I agree, it’s a good thing to make a man chase you for a while, but if you keep him waiting too long, he might get bored and tired.
No matter how much he likes you, he probably decided not to waste any more time on you because he’s scared that you may never let him in. Also, maybe the waiting was a huge turn-off for him, and he decided to let go of you and his feelings.
5. It’s a game he’s playing with you
Men like to play stupid dating games, and you need to be aware of that. No matter whether his main goal is to hurt you or make you jealous, you should know that dating someone else is just part of his game.
A game he’s playing to make you go crazy. A game he’s playing to make you chase him like nuts.
That’s why you shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing that his plan worked. Don’t be jealous. Actually, don’t show him any kind of reaction. Just wait for his next move because his game will continue until he reaches his goal.
6. He likes her more
The fact is, men can like, heck, they can even love two women at the same time. And if it comes to a situation where they need to choose, they’ll simply choose the one they like/love more.
Perhaps that’s what happened with your man. He simply thinks he will have a better and more successful relationship with the other woman, and that’s the reason he chose her over you.
You’re probably asking yourself, “What should I do about that now?” My dating advice is to do absolutely nothing. Let him have his choice. Wish him luck and move forward. He was just a random passerby in your life – God never intended him to stay in your life forever.
7. He’s using the other girl to make you jealous
“He likes me but started dating someone else” – if you had to say this sentence to someone, the first logical conclusion would be that he’s trying to make you jealous… That he’s only using the other girl to drive you crazy with jealousy.
And that may be true. Maybe you were direct about your feelings towards him, and he’s doing this only because he wants to get a reaction from you and see whether it would make you jealous. And we all know that you can’t feel jealousy if you’re completely indifferent about that person.
8. You’re his backup plan
If he likes you both and has started dating the other girl, it’s a clear sign he’s using you as a backup plan. He has admitted his feelings for you to make you wait for him.
He’ll come to you ONLY if his new relationship falls apart. In the other case, he’ll never even reach out to you again.
Now, be honest with me, and most importantly, be honest with yourself. Do you really deserve to be someone’s backup plan? I think you deserve way more than that, but the choice is up to you.
9. He doesn’t want to endanger your friendship
Were you two friends before you found out about his feelings for you? If you were, and he immediately started dating someone else after you found out he likes you more than a friend, it’s obvious… He got scared because he didn’t want to lose you as a friend.
If he could know about your feelings, maybe things would be easier for him. However, no one can guarantee that your relationship will succeed or that your friendship will survive even after your relationship ends.
10. He thinks you’re out of his league
If you’re more successful than him or simply have a better life than he does, it could be that your man thinks you’re out of his league. That’s the reason he hasn’t even tried to win you over.
He simply thinks you’re way better than him and that you would never date a man like him. If you want him to see that that’s not true, you need to show him loud and clear that you like him and want to be with him.
11. He thinks you deserve better
He thinks that you’re out of his league, and he also thinks you deserve better. He thinks you need a man worthy of you, and unfortunately, he thinks he isn’t that kind of man.
He is involved in a relationship with another girl because he wants to make you give up on him. He wants to make you move on from him as soon as possible, and he thinks that he’s helping you this way.
12. He isn’t sure about your compatibility
As you were getting to know each other, were you able to conclude how compatible you two are? Do you have good compatibility?
That’s definitely something you should think about because that may be what made your man give up on you. Perhaps he has concluded that you two have low compatibility and thinks your relationship would never be able to succeed.
13. He doesn’t want a long-distance relationship
Do you live in the same city, or do you live far away from one another? If your relationship needed to be long-distance, maybe it was what scared your man.
Perhaps he isn’t a fan of long-distance relationships. If his new girl is from the same city as he is, then it’s clear that your man definitely doesn’t want to be with you because he’s afraid that the distance might cause you to break up sooner or later.
14. He’s into open relationships
What do you know about the past of your man’s love life? What kind of relationships did he have? What kind of women was he interested in before you?
Go through his past, and you may run into some very interesting things that may give you the right answer as to why he started dating someone else even though he’s into you. If his past relationships were of an open character and you are strongly against those types of relationships, it’s clear why he didn’t even try to date you.
And you know what? He’s absolutely right. No matter how much you two like each other, you would never feel happy and fulfilled in your relationship because it’s obvious that you are into completely different things.
15. Committed relationships scare him
“He likes me but started dating someone else” – if that man is a commitment-phobe, it may be the reason he has indulged in a new relationship.
He knows you aren’t into casual relationships, that you seek true commitment, and he can’t give you that at this moment because he’s actually afraid of it. If the other girl can give him the kind of relationship he’s looking for, it’s obvious that your man is scared of commitment.
16. You’ve misinterpreted things; he likes you but only as a friend
Did you follow some subtle signs and conclude he likes you or has he admitted it to you directly? If it’s the first case, maybe you were wrong after all and misinterpreted some of those signs.
Maybe he does like you but only as a friend. Maybe he never had any romantic interest in you and never intended to engage in a romantic relationship with you. I know this hurts, but you should be aware that it’s a possibility and check those hints again.
See also: If He Likes Me, Why Is He Still Online Dating? 9 Common Reasons
What To Do When A Guy You Like Is Dating Someone Else
I’m not a certified relationship coach, but I can give you a few pieces of advice that helped me cope when I was in a similar position. I hope you’ll find this relationship advice useful and effective.
• Surround yourself with your best friends
Right now, you need to be surrounded by good vibes. You’re already struggling with negative emotions deep inside, so you shouldn’t be surrounded by negative energy too.
Spend time with people you care deeply about and who sincerely love you. Your loved ones will be able to recognize that you’re hurting, and they’ll also find a way to make your pain go away or, at least, make it hurt less.
• You’re hurt – grieve it
However, this doesn’t mean that you should suppress your pain. Your pain is there, and it won’t go anywhere until you accept it and heal in a healthy way.
You need to give yourself time to process that you were hurt by someone who told you they liked or had feelings for you. If you really want to move on, going through the grieving stage is necessary.
• Stop chasing him
I know you like him and want to be with him, but that shouldn’t be achieved by any means possible. If that man really liked you, he would be with you. Full stop.
Chasing him will only make you seem desperate. You really don’t need that kind of image because it’s a well-known fact that nobody likes clingy and desperate girlfriends.
• Focus on yourself, not the other person
You need to shift your focus from that man and his new relationship back onto yourself again. Don’t obsess with what he is doing or what his new girl looks like because that won’t get you anywhere.
You should be thinking about yourself and the time you’ll need to heal from it all. You should also make a plan that will help you heal and eventually let go of it and move on.
• Don’t even think about getting involved in a rebound relationship
I’m sure you’ve thought about this at least once. However, you need to be aware that a rebound relationship won’t help you at all.
On the contrary, it will only make your pain even stronger. You’ll hurt someone else, another man who doesn’t deserve it, and that will fall hard on you too.
• Instead, try to build a healthy relationship with yourself
Don’t rush into a new relationship because there are so many things you need to solve with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is a mess right now, and you need to fix that before you’re ready to engage in a relationship with someone else.
Focus on your self-esteem because I’m sure it suffered greatly after you found out he was dating another girl. Make sure you don’t lose your self-worth because that would mean losing yourself, and that is the only thing you’ll never be able to recover from.
• Making him jealous will only make your pain deeper
You may not get involved in a rebound relationship but think that making him jealous of other guys will provoke a reaction. But even if it does, you’ll be hurt again.
If you don’t get any reaction from him, you’ll be hurt. On the other hand, if you do get a reaction and it still doesn’t get you anywhere, that is, if he still does nothing, you’ll be hurt again because it’ll be a clear sign that he likes the other woman more.
• Stop holding grudges against his new girlfriend
You need to understand one thing: his new girlfriend isn’t guilty of anything. You shouldn’t blame her for anything because the only culprit in this story is him.
He has admitted his feelings for you but is still engaged in a relationship with her. It’s possible that she doesn’t even know about you.
Plotting your revenge on her is nonsense. Of course, it’s a different story if she knew about you two and worked to take your man away from you. Still, if she could take him, the truth is, he was never yours in the first place.
Actually, you should stop holding grudges against both of them because it’ll only affect your well-being. And know that the best revenge you can get on both of them is sincere, utmost, real happiness.
Stop spending so much time on social media. Stalking him over social media won’t get you anywhere – on the contrary, it may only make your pain stronger.
You need to take a small social media detox. Focus on spending time in nature and being surrounded by people close to you. That’s what will help you heal and move on. Looking at his social media profile 24/7 will eventually break your heart completely.
• Don’t wait forever for him to break up with her
You can’t keep waiting for that one person forever. You’ll waste your life on someone who never even deserved you, and you’ll never be able to forgive yourself for that.
Even if he breaks up with her, you should think it through before giving him another chance. He might do the same thing to you again and leave your heart completely devastated this time. If he chose her, you should choose yourself and forget that he ever existed.
• Remember, he isn’t the only guy in the world
He definitely isn’t, and you should try to understand this as soon as possible. The faster you come to terms with it, the faster you’ll be able to heal and give another man a chance to win over your heart.
If you aren’t ready to go out yet and meet someone, you can make a dating profile on a dating site and try online dating for starters. You’ll see how many single women and men are looking for their soulmates on those apps, and who knows, maybe your soulmate is hiding on one of them?
• Allow yourself to move on
You’ll move on, but only if you allow yourself to move on. If you keep holding onto a man who left a long time ago, you’ll be stuck in that place forever.
Okay, you’re allowed to cry, comfort yourself with cans of ice cream, and even break a few plates. However, the next day you need to get up out of your bed and snap out of it once and for all.
Good luck, but I know you’ll move on faster than you think because we, women, are way stronger than we think.
See also: Why Do Guys Act Rude When They Like You? (11 Reasons +Tips)
Can A Guy Be In A Relationship And Like Someone Else?
They most definitely can, and there are a few reasons why men do it. Unfortunately, it’s deeply unfair to all three parties, and sooner or later, someone leaves that triangle with a broken heart.
A man’s ego is a very strange thing. If it gets hurt, it can make him do many things, and some of those things may even go against his own wishes and desires.
So, it’s really no wonder a man likes you but started dating someone else. If his game gets out of control, he even takes it a step further and takes that relationship to a more serious level despite the fact his heart belongs to another woman.
What Do You Do When A Guy Chooses Someone Else Over You?
You should do absolutely nothing. If a guy was so blind to choose another woman over you, you should let him be at peace with his choice.
All you can do is give him time to understand the huge mistake he has made. Don’t try winning him back because it’s not worth it.
You should never try to prove your worth to someone. If they don’t see it, they don’t deserve you, and that’s it.
The most important thing is not to allow it to affect your self-esteem. Don’t think that he chose the other girl because she’s better than you. Nobody is better than you – he’s just dumb enough not to see the rare jewel he’s leaving behind.
Should You Confess Your Feelings To Someone In A Relationship?
My granny would always say that if you love someone, you need to let them know no matter what. So, if you think that’s the right relationship advice, you should take it.
I can’t say what the right thing to do is here because it really depends on so many things. If you really think that your confession could change something between you and that person, if you aren’t going to hurt too many people with it, you should be upfront and honest with your crush.
However, if you could ruin his serious relationship that way, and you know for sure that he doesn’t feel the same about you, you shouldn’t confess your feelings at all.
All In All
I know that being in the “he likes me but started dating someone else” position really sucks. Trust me, I know how painful it is because I was in a similar situation once – well, it was pretty much the same situation.
That man was so confused, and it’s like he tried to drive me insane too. One moment, I caught myself wondering whether true love really even existed or if I was really unworthy of true love.
Fortunately, I managed to snap out of those depressive thoughts. I chose myself over a man who obviously wasn’t man enough to stick to his emotions. I chose to believe that true love is real and that it’ll happen to me one day. And I still believe, heck, I’m damn sure it’ll happen to me.
True love will hit me one day, and it’ll happen when I least expect it.