Skip to Content

Sexless Marriage Effect On Husband: 12 Ways No Sex Affects Him

Sexless Marriage Effect On Husband: 12 Ways No Sex Affects Him

Most married couples won’t talk about this, but here is the hidden truth: many long-term relationships go through dry periods. Trust me: sexless relationships and marriages are more common than you might think.

However, this doesn’t mean that the lack of sexual intimacy between a couple doesn’t leave serious consequences on their emotional bond, communication, and relationship in general.

If you’re in a no-sex marriage and wondering about the sexless marriage effect on husband, you’ve come to the right place. Here are all the problems your man is facing without even telling you.

Sexless Marriage Effect On Husband

couple in bed facing away from each other

Here are the most common effects of a sexless marriage on your significant other:

1. Low self-esteem

The first thing a lack of sex affects is a man’s self-esteem. I’ll be honest with you: it’s not likely that your husband will try and get to the bottom of the problem, nor will he try to talk to you about your sex life.

Instead, he’ll probably jump to conclusions right away. According to his thoughts, he’s the problem.

The only answer is that you no longer desire him because you don’t find him physically attractive. He’s gained some weight, or maybe his hairline is receding. Of course, he hadn’t noticed this until now. But suddenly, he keeps seeing flaws in his physical appearance and personality.

The thing he’s scared of the most (but probably) will never admit is that you’re sick and tired of his poor sexual performance. This man is starting to struggle with self-doubt and ends up feeling worthless.

At the same time, everything else in his life might be going great. He could be a successful career man, an amazing father, and a dedicated son. He could be a rich entrepreneur with a bunch of loyal friends, but trust me – it only looks like he’s got his life in order.

If a man has no physical intimacy in his marriage, everything else is in vain. He’ll struggle with the feeling of failure, knowing that he can’t satisfy his own wife despite all the other achievements in his life.

2. Loss of emotional connection

I know what you might be thinking: there are other forms of intimacy besides physical intimacy. And you’re absolutely right. However, emotional intimacy frequently cannot survive without a healthy sex life. At least, not for men.

One sexless marriage effect on husband is definitely a loss of emotional connection with his significant other. I’m not saying that he will stop loving you just like that and just because you two no longer sleep together. However, if he does not get any sexual satisfaction any time soon, you can see this as the beginning of the end.

This man sees no other choice but to emotionally detach himself from this marriage. Of course, the healthier solution would be to work on these unresolved relationship issues.

Nevertheless, in most cases, a husband does not have the emotional capacity to do so. Therefore, he shuts down and does his best to kill every emotion he has for his wife.

3. Depression

man feeling depressed which is a sexless marriage effect on husband

Lack of sexual intimacy can cause some serious health issues. The first thing that it impacts is your husband’s mental health.

He might not be vocal about this, but trust me, this lack of intimacy is killing him from the inside. This man feels lonely and is convinced that he’s losing you one way or another.

In the beginning, his sex drive was incredibly high. He tried everything he could to turn you on, but after a while, he accepted his fate and gave up.

Consequently, his sex drive disappeared as well. He can’t stand this feeling of isolation, and he’s lost the motivation to make something out of your marriage.

If you look at your husband closely, you’ll see that his mental well-being is seriously threatened. He’s lost interest in his job, in the rest of the family, in his hobbies…

This man no longer enjoys everyday little things. In fact, it’s like he’s no longer living – he’s merely surviving.

4. Anxiety

The next effect of a sexless relationship on a man is also connected to his mental health. While many husbands fall into the trap of depression, there are also those who get anxiety as one of the effects of a sexless marriage.

First of all, they start struggling with a low sex drive and decreased sexual energy. I mean, this man doesn’t have regular sex, and as a consequence, he “shuts down” his sex drive.

Keep in mind that this is his mind’s defense mechanism. It’s easier for him to pretend he doesn’t want sex than accept constant rejection from the person he loves most.

But what happens when it’s time to engage in sexual intercourse after a sexless period? Will your husband feel better about himself?

No. On the contrary, he’ll get anxious about his performance. He’ll overthink his every move and be more stressed out than ever.

5. Prostate and bladder malfunction

Another sexless marriage effect on husband is related to this man’s physical health. As if poor mental health wasn’t enough, this man is also likely to encounter some medical conditions if his sexual needs aren’t met. When he doesn’t have sex, his body changes.

Please, keep in mind that he has a normal sexual function. Therefore, if he’s complaining that these sexual problems are destroying his physical health, he probably isn’t lying about his health decrease. He isn’t using this as a form of manipulation to get you to sleep with him.

The most common health problems a man with these types of relationship problems encounters are prostate and bladder dysfunction, at best. In fact, some studies claim that regular sex helps prevent bladder and prostate cancer.

6. Questioning your marriage

couple sitting on bed questioning their marriage

Yes, a healthy marriage is all about a healthy emotional bond. And I’m definitely not saying it should only be based on physical attraction. However, if we’re being honest, sex does help a marriage survive.

On the other hand, if your romantic relationship lacks physical intimacy, your husband will start questioning your entire marriage. Yes, that means that he might even walk away.

Of course, you shouldn’t see this as a form of blackmail – this is just one of the possible side effects of your sexual problems.

Here’s the harsh truth: you can be the most loving and caring wife in the world. Nevertheless, if you and your husband have no sexual relationship, he’ll question your feelings for him.

He’ll assume you’ve stopped loving him and even wonder if you ever did. Is staying in this marriage worth it? On the other hand, is this one problem worth ending your long-term relationship?

Your husband probably won’t share his dilemmas with you, but I can assure you that he’s dealing with these questions.

7. Questioning his manhood

The next thing a husband in a sexless marriage overthinks is his manhood. No, he doesn’t have to be a macho man or display traits of toxic masculinity.

No matter what kind of guy your husband is, at the end of the day, he’s just a man. And whether they like to admit it or not, almost all men connect their masculinity and manhood with their sexuality.

Things look pretty much like this: he thinks that he is not worthy of being called a man if he can’t get his wife to sleep with him. The same goes for when he is unable to give you physical pleasure.

All of a sudden, he’s lost his alpha features. He thinks that one of his main purposes in this world is gone, and all of his mental strength disappears just like that.

This guy doesn’t give a damn if you’re going through menopause or just don’t feel like having sex – deep down, he’ll assume that he’s the cause of this situation. You don’t want him anymore because he’s lost his divine masculine energy, and that’s about it.

8. Emotional isolation

In general, men tend to be much more closed off than women when they encounter a problem. They don’t have a habit of complaining about their love life to their closest buddies, nor are they willing to talk to a marriage counselor in most cases.

They rarely ask for relationship advice and spend most of their time pretending that everything is perfectly okay, even though their life might be shattering into pieces.

Well, just imagine how emotionally isolated they feel when there is no sexual activity in their long-term relationship. That’s right – he won’t talk to anyone about his problems, including you.

Instead, he’ll just shut himself off. Of course, this will end in poor communication between you two. Even when you try to ask him what’s wrong, you’ll probably only get the silent treatment.

This emotional isolation is nothing but a defense mechanism. Your husband is doing his best to detach himself from you and your marriage without actually having to walk away from you.

It’s much easier for him to act like he doesn’t care than to actually admit that you two have some serious relationship problems.

9. Feeling of shame

man feeling shame which is a sexless marriage effect on husband

Let me tell you something: your hubby is ashamed of this situation. Ironically, he’s even more ashamed to admit that he’s ashamed. It sounds funny, but trust me – it’s not. He is, in fact, trapped in an endless cycle that prevents him from opening up or even asking for professional help.

The first and most important person he feels embarrassed in front of is you. He thinks he’s failed you and hasn’t succeeded in carrying out his husbandly duties.

Next, he’s ashamed of the entire world. This man’s worst nightmare is his friends and family finding out that he’s not sleeping with his wife. He assumes that all of his buddies will abandon him the moment they find out about his sexless marriage.

Of course, he somehow manages to completely ignore the fact that nobody can possibly know what’s going on in your bedroom. And even if they do find out, they wouldn’t give a damn about it.

Regardless, he continues to live in constant fear that people are talking behind his back. According to this scenario, everyone actually knows all about the problems you two are dealing with. And they make fun of him all the time. You might find it foolish, but that’s what shame does to a person.

Finally, your husband is ashamed of himself. He can’t look himself in the mirror as he starts to despise his own image.

10. Anger and holding grudges

A resentful husband is another consequence of a sexless marriage. While some men only blame themselves for the lack of sexual activity in their relationship, others don’t think they’re responsible at all.

On the contrary, deep down, they accuse you of things going bad. This type of husband doesn’t care much about your reasons.

He doesn’t give a damn whether you’re going through menopause, if you’re struggling with depression, or whether he’s caused you to turn down physical intimacy. He thinks that under no circumstances should you have allowed your relationship to go down this path.

Ways his anger manifests

But he won’t tell you this outright. The last thing he’ll admit is that he’s hurt.

Instead, he’ll channel this emotional pain and turn it into anger. I mean, you know how most men are – they’d rather admit that they’re angry than heartbroken.

Of course, resentment and holding grudges always go hand to hand with anger and frustration. Before you know it, you two are fighting all day, every day.

He starts insulting you and putting you down and uses every opportunity to fight with you. And the funny thing is that you don’t actually argue about your sexless relationship.

However, he picks fights over everything besides your sexual intimacy.

You can’t help but notice that he is annoyed by everything you do and say. Well, that right here is resentment and anger!

11. Trust issues

upset couple discussing their trust issues

The next consequence of a sexless marriage is a lack of trust. One of the things your husband will accuse you of the first time you start avoiding sexual intimacy is infidelity.

Even if he doesn’t actually say anything, trust me when I say that he will have his doubts. He’s just looking at things from his perspective.

He assumes that you still have the same high sex drive you used to have. But you’re obviously not doing anything at home. So, that must mean that you’re getting your dose of sexual satisfaction elsewhere, doesn’t it?

All of a sudden, he’ll develop serious trust issues. He’ll probably try to go through your phone and check every move you make.

Even if he doesn’t find any evidence, he’ll likely fabricate some in his head. This man is just looking for the most logical explanation for your lack of interest, and another man in your life is what makes sense to him!

12. Considering infidelity

I’ll be honest with you: a no-sex marriage will make your husband think of engaging in an extramarital affair. I’m not saying that he will actually cheat on you, but the idea will be there. If nothing else, he’ll look at other women online

No, he is not looking to form an emotional bond with another woman. This might sound harsh, but all he wants is raw sex because that’s exactly what’s missing.

Don’t get me wrong – this is not acceptable in any way. There are tons of other things he should try doing before even thinking of fooling around behind your back. However, just because it’s not right doesn’t mean it’s not a sexless marriage effect on husband.

Let’s get one thing straight: if your husband thinks he can’t handle staying in this relationship for another minute – he is allowed to leave and look for what he needs elsewhere. Nevertheless, no matter what’s happening between you two, it can’t serve as an excuse for him committing adultery.

What Are The Consequences Of A Sexless Marriage?

married couple feeling distant from each other

Among the many other consequences of a sexless marriage (such as anger, resentment, sexual frustration, and mental and physical health problems), divorce is also quite possible. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but not all sexless marriages survive.

Another common consequence is infidelity. Some people don’t want to walk away from their SO. Maybe they still love them, or they simply choose to stay for practical reasons (having kids together or paying a mortgage).

At the same time, sex is a deal-breaker for them. They refuse to spend the rest of their days without any sexual intimacy, so they engage in an extramarital affair. It always starts purely physical, but it can easily turn into real love.

How Do You Know When It’s Time To Leave A Sexless Marriage?

husband leaving his wife

The mere fact that you’re in a no-sex marriage shouldn’t be reason enough for you to get a divorce. However, if sex is a deal-breaker for you and you know you’ve done everything in your power to make things right, but nothing worked, leaving should be an option!

Did you try spicing up your sex life? Did you suggest sex toys, role-playing, and other new, imaginative things in the bedroom?

Did you try fixing your poor communication? Did you try talking to your SO about what’s bothering you?

Did you ask for professional help? Did you suggest marriage counseling?

Did you try rebuilding your emotional bond? Did you date your marital partner as if you were just getting to know each other for the first time? Did you do your best to make them fall back in love with you?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes, it might be time to leave because your marriage is clearly not worth saving. You know you gave it your best, but it simply didn’t work out.

Besides, it looks like you’re the only one trying. It’s mostly just that your partner refuses to sleep with you.

The bigger problem is that they don’t see an issue with it. They’re not willing to move a finger to save your relationship! In that case, your job is done here.

How Can A Husband Survive A Sexless Marriage?

unhappy couple feeling disconnected from each other

The key to a healthy marriage is always healthy communication. Therefore, the first thing a man should do in this situation is talk to his wife openly about everything that’s bugging him.

There is no point in being resentful, angry, or holding grudges. Instead, being honest and open is always the solution.

The trick is to get to the bottom of the problem. If a married couple has a sexless relationship, there is definitely a deeper cause for their relationship problems.

Don’t worry, nobody is saying that he’s the one who has to do all the work. But if he’s bothered by how things are, the husband should initiate this tough conversation.

At the same time, he might use his imagination to spice up your sex life. Sexting, role-playing, sex toys, and watching porn together are good ways to bring something new into the bedroom.

The next step is suggesting marriage counseling. The husband needs to keep in mind that asking for professional help is the most mature thing one can do!

To Wrap Up:

couple unable to solve their marriage problems

Yes, every sexless marriage effect on husband should be taken seriously! However, things aren’t much better for the wife either.

The bottom line is that both of you are suffering due to the lack of intimacy in your relationship. And I’m not only talking about the fact that you lack physical pleasure and sexual satisfaction here.

I’m telling you that your entire marriage is at stake. Therefore, if you’re thinking about saving it, now is the time to act!

This might be the last chance you have to rebuild your broken relationship, so you better take it!

Can a sexless marriage survive? It definitely can if you put in enough effort and start working on it!

Don’t get me wrong – this is not an invitation to sleep with your husband despite not being in the mood and not wanting to. In fact, that’s probably the last thing you should do.

I’m asking you to get to the root of the problem, to work on it in the healthiest way possible, and finally, to rebuild your broken marriage one step at a time!

I Have No Sex Drive And My Husband Is Mad: 11 Fixes

Tuesday 29th of November 2022

[…] you attracted to other men but not your husband? Do you have a sexless marriage but can feel turned on by other guys? What about […]