12 esempi comuni di messaggi di testo del narcisista (+ come rispondere)
If you’ve ever texted with a narcissist, then you know how truly frustrating it is. They have this special ability to make you feel like they truly care about you when, in reality, the only thing they care about is themselves and being in control.
Gli sms con un narcisista sono costituiti da questi tre elementi:
• voluntarily receiving crumbs from them
• justifying their texting habits
• endless hoping that they will change.
While your intuition screams that something’s not right, the rational part of your brain refuses to believe it. Ed è così che ci si ritrova nel bel mezzo delle montagne russe che sono i rapporti con una persona dalla personalità narcisistica.
If you’re not quite sure whether you’re Affrontare un narcisista or someone who is bad at texting, worry not because we’ve compiled examples of narcissist text messages to come to the rescue!
12 esempi di messaggi di testo del narcisista
I seguenti esempi di testi ricevuti da narcisisti are a true depiction of their narcissistic personality. If the majority of these examples resonate with you, then you know who you’re dealing with.
1. Svalutare i testi
I narcisisti hanno bisogno di farvi sentire come se il vostro benessere e la vostra felicità dipendessero da loro. Poiché si considerano il centro dell'universo, si aspettano che anche voi li vediate così.
They can’t tolerate you being happy without them having anything to do with it. A ti fanno dubitare di te stesso, utilizzano gaslighting metodi, il trattamento silenziosoDandovi consigli non richiesti, sensi di colpa, vergogna e sottolineando i vostri difetti.
Esempi di testi svalutanti:
• “I just want you to know that I did not enjoy your behavior today among our family members. I expect you to improve this next time.”
• “Are you sure about your choice of food? If you don’t change your eating habits, there’s no point in going to the gym. I mean, do what you want, but I can tell that you’ve already gained a few pounds, and it doesn’t really look nice.”
2. “The mind reader” texts
People with narcissistic personalities have the tendency to let you know that they know you better than you know yourself. Because of that, “they know what’s best for you.”
Inutile dire che utilizzano questo metodo esclusivamente per scopi di controllo per farvi dipendere da loro. Their main goal is to make you feel like you’re not capable of living without them. The more you let them believe this, the stronger they become.
Examples of “the mind reader” texts:
• “I know exactly what hair color/outfit/shoes would suit you best. So, don’t you dare contradict me.”
• “You say you feel good, but I know you’re lying. I know exactly what you need to start feeling better. Where would you be without me, right? You can thank me later.”
3. “CAPS LOCK” texts
Vi mandano regolarmente messaggi, si allontanano, vi mandano altri messaggi e poi scompaiono. All'improvviso, ricevete un messaggio tutto in maiuscolo che vi travolge all'istante.
Perché un narcisista dovrebbe mandarvi un messaggio in maiuscolo?
Ebbene, lo fanno per mascherare le loro insicurezze, per provocarvi o per scatenare in voi una reazione intensa. Sanno quanto tieni a loro e lo usano come carburante.
So, the more drama they create about their life, the more attached you’ll become to them. I daresay that caps lock texts are one of the sneakiest examples of narcissist text messages.
Narcissists send these texts to shock you, evoke empathy, and get you back if they’ve noticed you’re pulling away. Si noti che questi tipi di testi sono spesso menzogne create appositamente per manipolazione.
Examples of “CAPS LOCK” texts:
• “I’M SO TIRED OF MY PARENTS, MY BOSS, AND EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE WHO ARE NOT EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME. IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW THEY TREAT ME, YOU WOULD NEVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN. I CERTAINLY DIDN’T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT, AND YOU KNOW IT TOO.”
• “WHAT THE HELL?! HOW COULD YOU IGNORE MY TEXTS WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW? THE WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS ME. I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”
4. “Blowing hot and cold” texts
Ghosting is every narcissist’s specialty. My friend’s ex-husband was a narc. At first, she thought he was her soulmate, but it turned out she was married to a legit malignant narcissist (extremely manipulative).
He would always give her mixed signals and send her “soffiare caldo e freddo” texts to make her question his intentions. After that, he would apologize and tell her that he’d never do it again. Guess what? He was a great liar as well.
Dal punto di vista psicologico, i soffi caldi e freddi sono utilizzati principalmente per creare paura, incertezza e stabilire il controllo. That’s why narcissists are addicted to this form of manipulation in both texting and other circumstances.
Examples of “blowing hot and cold” texts:
• “Hey babe, I hope you have a great day today. Let me know if you need anything.”
• (A few hours later): “Why are you texting me? You know I’m busy at work.”
• “Good night, honey bean. I just wanted to say how happy I was today when we were together. It was one of the best days of my life. I felt like time stopped, and there was only you and me in the whole world. Can’t wait to see you again. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
• (Tomorrow morning): “Yeah, good morning to you too. Not into texting right now.”
5. “Desperate word salad” texts (to get you back)
Bombardamento d'amore è uno dei Le tattiche di "hoovering" utilizzate dai narcisisti per riavvicinarsi a voi. Io la chiamo la fase del bombardamento d'amore, quando desiderano il loro rifornimento narcisistico: voi.
When they become desperate, they start bombarding you with text messages, phone calls, voicemails, you name it. They’ll probably send you lots of selfies as well.
Un esempio di testi disperati di insalata di parole:
• “Hi, honey. I know I haven’t been myself lately, but you also know that it takes two to tango. We have a great thing going, but this thing also requires maintenance and constant effort. You know I’m willing to give my best to make all this work, and I expect the same thing from you. This is the only way for us to protect our happiness and make the best of our relationship.”
6. “Sabotaging your confidence and self-worth” texts
If there’s one thing narcissists are truly great at, it is endangering your mental health. Abuso narcisistico is not something we should take with a pinch of salt. Even texts and calls can leave severe scars on narcissists’ victims.
Detto questo, narcisisti passerà molto tempo a creare messaggi di testo specificamente dedicati ad uccidere la vostra autostima. Questo include insulti, offese e altri modi subdoli per farvi dubitare della vostra autostima.
Examples of “sabotaging your confidence and self-worth” texts:
• “How many times do I need to tell you to (do something)? Your incompetence is turning me into something I don’t want to be.”
• “You know I want the best for you, but I truly think this (thing) is not for you because you wouldn’t be good at it.
7. Testi di richiesta
Tutti i narcisisti hanno un forte senso del diritto. Ciò significa che credono di meritare un trattamento speciale e un'attenzione totale da parte vostra.
Alla ricerca di una convalida both on social media and from you is basically their hobby (but they’re not even aware of it). Più li fate sentire speciali, più si sentono forti.
Ma questo trattamento speciale non si basa sugli elementi di una relazione sana. Utilizzano invece gli elementi di un relazione abusiva per aumentare il proprio ego. Uno di questi elementi tossici sono gli sms di richiesta.
Esempi di testi di richiesta:
• “Make me cookies.”
• “Take out the trash. It’s disgusting.”
• “Change that outfit. Doesn’t look good on you.”
8. “Emoji overload” texts to keep you guessing
When a narcissist feels like they’re losing controlmettono in atto tattiche eccessive per tenervi indovinati o per farvi tornare indietro. Una di queste tattiche è l'uso eccessivo di emoji nei testi.
La prima volta che ho ricevuto uno di questi testi, ero convinto che avessero fatto un enorme sforzo per far sembrare il testo interessante e divertente. Mi sbagliavo.
Well, the text did look interesting, but their intentions weren’t pure. Volevano tenermi indovinato sulla loro attuale mentalità e sulle loro intenzioni.
They succeeded because there’s nothing more painful than receiving these confusing texts that require in-depth analysis.
Examples of “emoji overload” texts:
• “Hello, I just wanted you to know that I can’t stop thinking about you all day ?????”
• “Do you want to know what I’m thinking about right now? ???? Maybe I’ll tell you later. ???”
9. Testi di gaslighting
Quando un narcisista fa qualcosa di abusivo, deve trovare un modo per farvi credere che il problema siete voi e non loro. A tal fine, ricorre a comportamento passivo-aggressivo o gaslighting (entrambe sono forme di abuso emotivo).
If you’ve ever received a gaslighting text, you probably felt confused and didn’t know how to react. You also started re-evaluating your recent behavior in hopes that you’d figure out what you did wrong.
Ma tutto questo non ha avuto successo perché il vero problema è che sono loro a farvi sentire un problema, e non voi.
Esempi di testi di gaslighting:
• “Seriously? You know I hate when you act this way.”
• “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
• “I can no longer tolerate such behavior from you.”
• “You’re imagining things.”
10. Messaggi a tarda notte
What a narcissist wants is 24/7 attention. When they text you, they expect an immediate response. If they don’t get it, they become upset.
When they don’t text you, they expect understanding. If they don’t get it, they become upset. A narcissist will send you late-night texts only to make you feel bad about not answering them when they “needed you most.”
Se spegnete il vostro telefono nel bel mezzo della notte, potete aspettarvi di ricevere una buona dose di giudizi e di comportamento narcisistico tossico da loro.
Esempi di messaggi notturni:
• “I’m so sick of everything.”
• “Are you sleeping?”
• “Why aren’t you answering me? I’m always there when you need me, and you’re never there when I need you.”
11. “Fake caring” texts
Persone con disturbo narcisistico di personalità (NPD) utilizzano vari esempi di messaggi di testo narcisisti per attirare l'utente, mantenere il controllo o semplicemente farlo impazzire.
One of these texting examples is fake caring texts. It’s when you think that they’ve finally changed and are genuinely sorry about treating you badly.
Well, they’re not, but this is just another tactic to confuse you and play with your mind.
Examples of “fake caring” texts:
• “I hope you’re okay. I’m kind of worried about you because I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
• “Hey honey, how was your day? I expect you to tell me everything.”
• “You have no idea how much I miss you. Can’t stop thinking about you.”
12. “Fight trigger” texts
At one moment, everything seems perfect, and then a few minutes later, they start provoking you. You begin to question whether you’re that good at ignoring red flags or if there weren’t any in the first place.
Beh, loro stessi sono una grande bandiera rossa. Affrontare una persona tossica non ha inizio né fine.
You’re constantly in the middle of something confusing, draining, and ultimately harmful. If not stopped, their toxic behavior often turns into violenza domestica.
Examples of “fight trigger” texts:
• “I haven’t forgotten about you ignoring my texts the other day!”
• “Why don’t you just say what you mean?”
• “Do you think the problem is me? Think again.”
Vedi anche: Come rendere un narcisista ossessionato da voi in 9 semplici passi
Come rispondere ai messaggi di testo narcisistici
Texting with a narcissist is a draining experience in itself, so learning how to text them and protect yourself is a must. Here’s how you do it:
Avere dei limiti
Don’t respond to their calls or text messages at bedtime. Also, don’t feel obligated to text them back at any time of the day or night.
Establish boundaries because that’s the only way to proteggersi dalla loro ricerca di attenzione 24 ore su 24, 7 giorni su 7. You don’t need to use your phone on vacation, and you don’t need to text them only to make them feel good about themselves.
Pensate invece a voi stessi.
Mantenere la semplicità
Don’t take their word salad texts too seriously. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you fall for it, they win. The more you do everything they expect you to, the more they assume there’s nothing wrong with their selfish approach.
Siete voi a determinare il modo in cui vi trattano, quindi la cosa migliore da fare è mantenere le cose semplici. Inviate una risposta semplice (né troppo, né troppo poco).
Evitare il dramma del testo
Se notate che le cose stanno degenerando e che il cliente vuole avere una conversazione seria con voi al telefono, suggerite di parlarne di persona.
Avoid drama over text because if you don’t, a narcissist will use this to their advantage. They won’t stop tormenting you over text only to make you feel bad about not responding or taking them seriously.
Adottare un approccio neutrale
Instead of arguing with a narcissist, a neutral approach is recommended. Don’t try to show them that you’re right and they’re wrong.
Don’t try to make them feel bad about their actions because they’ll always find a way to prove that you’re wrong.
No matter what you do or say, they’ll find a way to keep controlling you. So, take a neutral approach so they don’t have material for their further tendenze narcisistiche e manipolative.
Tagliateli
A volte, l'unico modo per affrontare i narcisisti è tagliarli fuori. Con questo intendo bloccarli e non rispondere più ai loro messaggi.
Il blocco vi darà il tempo di valutare la vostra relazione con il narcisista e di allontanarvi definitivamente. Naturalmente, se vi sentite di dare loro una seconda possibilità, potete sempre sbloccarli. Il blocco può essere una forma di la regola del non contatto.
What Happens When You Ignore A Narcissist’s Text?
Quando si ignora un narcisista’s text, they become upset because you’re not giving them the attention they need. Se ignorate un narcisista, potete aspettarvi che faccia alcune o tutte le seguenti cose:
• send you angry texts demanding for you to text them back
• send you fake caring and worry texts to reel you back in
• stalk you
• bombard you with phone calls, voicemails, word salad texts.
Tenete presente che il narcisista si nutre delle vostre attenzioni, delle vostre cure e del vostro affetto per lui. Questo rafforza il loro ego perché, in poche parole, i narcisisti sono piuttosto insicuri.
Once they lose their narcissistic supply (you), they become scared, and they’ll be willing to do anything to get you back, only to keep feeding off your love and attention.
Pensieri conclusivi
If the above examples of narcissist text messages resonate with you, then you know they’re not bad at texting. Instead, sono dei veri e propri narcisisti che sa esattamente cosa sta facendo e perché lo fa.
Una delle cose più importanti è ricordarsi di non lasciare che influenzino la vostra autostima o che vi mettano in discussione in qualche modo.
Proteggersi è la priorità numero uno e lo si può fare stabilendo dei limiti e mantenendo la neutralità. Se le cose diventano insopportabili, interrompere ogni contatto (temporaneo o permanente) è un'altra opzione.
