L'amore è complicato: 20 ragioni per cui e cosa fare al riguardo
How many times have you thought to yourself: ”Man, love is complicated. Why don’t I just give up?”
Too many times, I’m sure.
Può essere estenuante desiderare qualcosa di reale quando continuano ad arrivare solo problemi.
Ma cosa fa apparire questi problemi? L'amore è davvero complicato? Se sì, perché?
If you want to know the answers, read on and you’ll have them, along with some beautiful citazioni d'amore che descrivono perfettamente la complessità di questa emozione.
L'amore è un'emozione complicata?
Non proprio, ma siamo noi a renderlo complicato.
Reale, amore incondizionato è una cosa bellissima e molto semplice.
It encourages you to become the best version of yourself all the while showing you that you have been worthy all along. It makes you realize why all the previous relationships didn’t work out.
So, unless your person makes you feel that way, they are not the one. But, if you believe them to be, despite that, that’s where issues arise.
20 motivi per cui l'amore è complicato e cosa fare
Relazioni romantiche can be a very complicated thing. I know you just want to make sense of it all, so if you’re having a hard time accomplishing that, take a look at the following possible reasons why love is complicated for you:
1. Muri costruiti troppo alti.
L'amore è complicato perché avete paura di lasciarlo entrare. Siete in costante sofferenza per non essere in grado di trovare qualcuno che vi renda feliciMa non appena lo fai, li allontani.
You find excuses to convince yourself that they’re not really your type, but in reality, you just don’t know how to accept someone’s love.
F. Scott Fitzgerald disse una volta: ”I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.”
And, that’s understandable. If you’ve never had a vita amorosa felice, you will be scared because it’s a completely unknown universe.
Still, remind yourself of how you deserve the kind of love that is real, and even if you don’t know how to act, in fact, all you need to do is let it happen.
2. Troppo o troppo poco.
È una triste verità che, nella maggior parte dei casi, uno dei due partner ama più dell'altro. Se siete colui che dà più amore di quanto ne ricevaÈ naturale che vi sentiate esausti.
Questo potrebbe anche creare problemi di bassa autostima. Potreste pensare di essere indegno di amore del tutto solo perché your person doesn’t love you.
On the other hand, if you are the partner who loves less, you might feel guilty. You stay in the relationship because you’re paura di essere single o perché ci si è semplicemente abituati.
In ogni caso, non è giusto per nessuno di voi continuare a stare insieme. Forse dovreste prendere in considerazione l'idea di lasciarvi, altrimenti vi sentirete solo più infelici con il passare dei giorni.
3. Haunted by the past…
Credete che nessuno sia capace di essere fedele? Credete di essere destinati a essere traditi se li lasciate avvicinare?
In questo caso, non c'è da stupirsi che l'amore sia complicato.
I don’t blame you for avere problemi di fiducia. That’s the fault of those who betrayed you the first time you experienced love, but you need to realize that you are still responsible for your own recovery.
You don’t need to forgive them, but you do need to let go. Not every person is the same.
Tell me… would you ever betray your loved one? Well, there’s your answer.
There are a lot of people out there like you, but you don’t find them because you aren’t really looking. It’s time to change that.
4. Love isn’t enough.
Amare qualcuno è facile, ma piacergli è la parte difficile.
Forse potreste conquistare il mondo con la quantità di amore che avete per loro, ma rabbrividite ancora ogni volta che sono scortesi con qualcuno.
Or, perhaps you’re looking for a mature partner, and can’t help but feel bad every time they avoid their responsibilities.
Either way, that may be a sign that you’re not right for each other.
Naturally, you can work on all your problems. Nothing is unsolvable. But, remember that it’s possible to have an epic romance where you both love and like someone.
Permettetevi di trovare qualcosa che vi appaghi. Il mezzo amore non ha mai fatto bene a nessuno.
5. Things change…
Different personalities are attracted to each other… or are they?
Well, yes, when you notice someone who’s your total opposite, your dopamine levels will be through the roof.
Tutti vogliamo qualcosa di eccitante. Raramente qualcuno desidera un'altra versione di se stesso.
Tuttavia, la cosa che vi entusiasma all'inizio è molto spesso quella che vi fa impazzire dopo qualche tempo.
That’s why you should remember that differences indeed are okay, and necessary, at that. However, there should still be certain similarities that will help the relationship to stay alive.
Figure out what’s truly important to you, and make decisions accordingly.
6. L'idealizzazione porta problemi.
Vi è mai capitato di incontrare qualcuno che vi piaceva molto, ma di esagerare le sue buone qualità fino al punto di iniziare a glorificarlo?
Vi innamorate della versione di loro che avete creato, ma la vostra mente si rifiuta di accettare chi sono in realtà.
So, if you think that love is complicated, it’s because you make it so.
People aren’t projects for you to work on, so stop amarli in modo condizionato. See the person before you as they are, so that when you fall in love, you’ll know it’s real.
7. Nessuna amicizia.
The biggest mistake people make is entering into relationships where there is no friendship. That might excite you in the beginning, but eventually, you’ll get tired.
Il vostro partner dovrebbe essere anche il vostro migliore amico, la persona con cui condividete tutto.
If you can’t communicate nor have fun, but see each other merely as PARTNERS, then I am afraid that might easily turn into a heartbreak.
Perché desiderare una relazione così complicata quando si può guardare qualcuno e vedere veramente tutto ciò che si è sempre desiderato?
8. Il romanticismo appartiene al passato.
No, il fase di luna di miele won’t last forever, but that doesn’t mean you should entirely give up on romance. If all that remains in the relationship is friendship, that’s just not enough.
So, never stop going on dates or organizing small, exciting trips together. Never stop flirting with each other because what’s a relationship without that?
Mantenete viva la fiamma tra voi ad ogni costo. It’s never a bad time for some romance.
9. Souls that aren’t connected.
It’s not enough to proclaim that the other person is your partner. A relationship is much more than that.
It’s accepting each other’s worst parts and offering comfort and love whenever you need it. It’s being there no matter how difficult it gets.
If your partner is prone to repressing their emotions and dealing with problems alone, that’s a major issue. But, not one that can’t be solved.
Cominciate a essere voi ad aprirvi con loro. Mostrate loro che vulnerabilità emotiva isn’t a weakness, but a way to heal your sad soul and strengthen your relationship in the process.
10. Valori fondamentali opposti.
Voi e il vostro partner avete valori completamente diversi?
Perhaps you’re extremely ethical whereas they are prone to cheating. Or, perhaps, you have a tendency to fight for the weak whereas they are the one who belittles the weak.
Se è così, la vostra storia d'amore potrebbe non avere un lieto fine. Ma non preoccupatevi!
If you are willing to put in hard work, you can strengthen your relationship. But, both of you have to be prepared for what’s coming.
On the other hand, if nothing changes, there’s no point in pushing it.
There is an ideal partner out there with the same core values as you. Once you let go of what isn’t for you, you will find them.
11. Problems don’t mean the end.
So many (potential) couples observe a problem as proof that they shouldn’t be together. This couldn’t be more of a wrong approach.
In reality, you are a team that should overcome every obstacle with healthy communication. It is you two against the problem. You aren’t competing with each other.
Quindi, la prossima volta che si presenta un problema, pensateci. Sedetevi con il vostro partner e alleggerite il vostro cuore pesante.
Poi, cercate delle soluzioni. Cosa si può fare per rendere felice l'altra persona?
Non dimenticare mai il vero valore dell'amore.
12. Infatuation isn’t love.
It is not uncommon for people to fall for each other’s looks or to fall victim to idealization all the while never truly getting to know each other.
But, this isn’t really love. This is infatuazione.
You can’t expect something to work if you don’t know who the person in front of you is. You can’t expect a relationship to be ideal only because you are attracted to them.
Se vi innamorate per le ragioni sbagliate, siete destinati a rimanere delusi!
I’m sorry, but you need to reevaluate your checklist, and start looking for someone you truly like despite all their flaws.
13. Ossessioni malsane.
Too much of anything is not good. As hard as it might be for you to believe that, it’s the truth.
Non importa quanto si ami qualcuno o qualcosa, se si dedica a lui/lei una quantità di tempo non sana, alla fine l'effetto sarà negativo.
Are you too clingy? Do you get angry if your partner doesn’t respond to your message immediately? Do you expect to see them every day even when you know they’re busy?
Se è così, dovete rivedere le vostre abitudini.
Your partner has their own life, and you have yours. You can’t expect them to live for you and be there 24/7.
Una volta imparato come stabilire i limiti, you will learn to respect each other more, and perhaps love won’t be so complicated after all.
14. Desiderio di qualcun altro.
Uno dei motivi più comuni per cui un amore romantico si complica è il coinvolgimento di una terza persona.
Are you still in love with your high school ex? Do you secretly have feelings for someone, even though you keep saying they’re ‘solo un amico‘?
Se è così, questo può influenzare notevolmente la vostra relazione. Se voi o il vostro partner siete interessato a qualcun altro, it’s not fair to continue being together.
You will be unhappy because in your mind, you will always be elsewhere, and your partner will never fully understand why you can’t love them the way they love you.
15. Anni che si frappongono tra voi.
Are you in love with someone who is ten years older than you? Or, perhaps, someone who is a lot younger, and you feel more like a parental figure than a partner? Are they your ‘persona giusta al momento sbagliato‘?
Beh, il rapporto di divario d'età is the one that’s causing you such difficulties.
But, the real problem isn’t the age gap; it’s society that convinces us that an age gap is something to be worried about when in reality, it isn’t.
Naturally, you will not date a minor and justify it by saying that it’s amore vero. But, in other cases, if you really love each other, you shouldn’t let your age be the problem.
Se si dispone di diversi livelli di maturità, yes, that can be frustrating, but love really conquers all. You should help each other grow, and not be angry over what you don’t understand.
16. Il vostro destino è nelle mani degli altri.
We all want our family to approve of our partner. It’s understandable to want everyone to get along. But, some of us take it to a whole new level.
What you need to understand is this – it is YOU who is dating your partner, NOT your family. It is YOUR future that’s on the line, NOT theirs.
If you really love them, you shouldn’t let anyone else’s opinion intervene with how you feel.
Combattete per questo, perché sono i vostri sentimenti ad essere più importanti.
17. La paura vince sui desideri.
Perhaps you adore this person, but there’s something inside you that keeps finding reasons to end it. Well, that might be because of your problemi di impegno.
People who are afraid to commit convince themselves that they don’t really need anybody, or they constantly question the other person’s love.
Quello che dovete fare è andare a fondo della questione. Scoprite la causa principale del problema e combattetela con tutte le vostre forze.
Potrai mai trovare l'amore? Well, that’s up to you.
18. Amore non corrisposto.
We’ve all been there – loving someone who doesn’t love us back. Che sciocchi a desiderare che le cose siano diverse! Perché ci permettiamo di sentirci così?
Well, you don’t really choose who you love, but at the same time, you do.
Have you heard that quote ”We accept the love we think we deserve”? That’s not far from the truth.
If you keep holding on to someone who’s not ready to reciprocate your feelings, you need to imparare ad amare se stessi di più.
Just know that it’s okay to be struggling with this. You are not the only one. But, at least try to remind yourself daily that you deserve a new love story.
Pratica autocura emotiva quotidianamente e alla fine ci riuscirete. Piccoli passi!
19. Secret loves…
Ah, il dolore di essere innamorati di qualcuno in segreto e non poterlo dire! Il dolore di vederla ogni giorno e di cercare di nascondere i propri sentimenti.
This is painful no matter which scenario you put it in. Perhaps you’re innamorati del vostro migliore amico or a person you’ve just met, but who keeps giving you segnali contrastanti.
Santo cielo, cosa si fa?!
Well, you can start by telling them how you feel. This doesn’t have to be done in a direct way.
Potete spiegare loro la profondità dei vostri sentimenti mantenendo contatto visivo prolungato o toccandoli delicatamente con un sorriso subdolo sul viso.
Or, it’s best that you figure out what their linguaggio dell'amore è, e dimostrate il vostro affetto di conseguenza.
20. Allarme narcisista!
Non mancano le persone con tendenze narcisistiche. Se vi siete imbattuti in qualcuno che continua a ignorare i vostri sentimenti, facendovi sentire responsabili della sua felicità, avrete difficoltà a credere nell'amore.
I hope you understand that love isn’t supposed to hurt. You’re not supposed to lie down every night wondering what you did wrong.
If your partner makes you feel sad rather than happy, then maybe it’s time to andare avanti. There is someone out there who will treat you better, and don’t you forget that!
“Love Is Complicated” Quotes
1. “They say if the love is true, then it’s easy. But, that’s false. Love is complicated. It’s sticky. It’s bliss and it’s a mix of emotions. It’s not easy.” – Dominic Riccitello
2. “Love.” “She looked at me with those blue eyes. Isn’t it astonishing how confused and complicated such a small, simple word is?
It attracts so many other things, doesn’t it, that stick to it like barnacles on rock… fear, guilt, need. You can’t even see the rock anymore. I imagine love in its purest form is a rare thing.” – Deb Caletti
3. ”From the complications of loving you, I think there is no end or return. No answer, no coming out of it, which is the only way to love, isn’t it?” – Mary Oliver
4. ”It’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” – Nicholas Sparks
5. “Love enters us like a vague ailment. Your head spins. Your underarms tingle. Love hurts and love has consequences: marriage, babies, separation, longing, human complications.” – Chloe Thurlow
6. “”Complicated – shmomplicated,” she said, waving her hand. ”If you love her, you make it work.” – Fiona Cole
7. “”But, love? Is that what you feel for Morpheus?” I swallow hard. “I’m not sure… But, there’s something real between us… something powerful.” I sink further into my seat. “It’s complicated.”” – A.G. Howard
8. “Love should be easy. Life is hard. Relationships are complicated. But, the love, that’s the one thing we should be able to count on.” – Jacqueline Simon Gunn
9. “And, maybe that is what it comes down to, knowing what the other person needs even before they know it themselves. Maybe it’s just that simple, and it is only us who make it complicated with our anniversaries and our gifts, with grand declarations and public demonstrations, empty words and valuable stones.” – Shitij Sharma
10. “Even so, in the midst of this complicated love, there is a holy union.” – Lorna Jane Cook
Pensieri finali
As you can see, love is complicated… but not in the way you might have thought. It’s really up to you to fight your inner demons that stop you from accepting it.
Il vostro destino è nelle vostre mani. Assicuratevi che ogni decisione che prendete vi porti a una una vita più felice e più facile.
