“Not everyone is going to like you. Don’t let it phase you.” – Unknown
Before I say anything else, I feel like I should be honest with you (that doesn’t mean the rest of what I say will be a lie).
I humbly and wholeheartedly admit that I’m one of those individuals who have spent (better said wasted) half of their lives worrying about what other people think and whether they’re going to like me or not.
I wanted to be worshipped and liked by others in both real life and on social media, so I was literally ready to do ANYTHING if it meant winning their approval.
It took me some time to realize that by doing all this I was depriving myself of self-worth and I’d become a legit people pleaser. I’d lost touch with my true self and become devoid of personality.
I used to dance to other people’s tunes, but now I’m creating my own.
Speaking of one of the most valuable life lessons that no one teaches you at school. I no longer worry about being everyone’s cup of tea, being judged, or gossiped about and I’ve never been happier!
Every single one of us can choose to embrace one of these two main principles:
a) To not care about what other people think or about being liked.
b) To worry about what other people think and to actively seek their approval.
If you ask me, the first principle has proved to be the most efficient and stress-free, whereas the latter is a shortcut to ending up in a loop, decreasing your self-esteem, and not being in control of your own life.
The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and this is not something you should worry about.
How To Get Over The Fact That Not Everyone Is Going To Like You
Question why you need everyone to like you and approve of you
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and other social media apps all have one thing in common, and that is: We want to be seen, followed, retweeted, complimented and so on. The same thing goes for real life.
In other words: We want to be liked because it’s in our human nature (and that’s totally okay).
But, sometimes this becomes an addiction and we’re no longer in control of it.
Do you ever find yourself worrying about the following kinds of things? Why didn’t he/she like my previous post? Why don’t they approve of my style / ideas / habits?
If yes, you need to question why you have a tendency to do so. This is usually related to low self-esteem and a lack of attention from your parents during childhood.
By questioning it, you will find out what the real reason is behind your need to be liked and approved by everyone. Of course, once you identify the reason, you need to start working on it.
Work on developing a better relationship with yourself
Instead of trying to please every single person you come into contact with, you need to start working on winning your own approval. You’ll do that by developing a better relationship with yourself.
This doesn’t mean that you should only focus on positive things about yourself, but you need to be realistic. You can make a list of things you like about yourself and things you would like to improve.
And that’s the real definition of who you REALLY are! When you accept yourself for who you are and do your best every day, you won’t bother with what other people are saying or thinking about you.
Think about all those people YOU don’t like
I really love this one because we seldom think about it, but it rings true to the core! Pause for a moment and think about the people in your life that you don’t really like.
Now, think about why you don’t like them. Perhaps it’s because they have a weird way of expressing themselves, they are rude, loud, or shy.
The next step is to ask yourself whether this is something you can change or something that really bothers you?
I believe that your answer is the following: No, this is not something I can influence and it’s none of my business. I just don’t like them and that’s all.
You see, that’s the exact same thing someone who doesn’t like you would say as well.
The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and vice versa. It’s a simple fact that you need to ACCEPT as it’s the only way to get over it.
Decipher the difference between beliefs and the real truth
Different types of people like the cashier at the grocery store, your high school peers, colleagues and best friends all see you in a different light.
They all have beliefs about people around them and these beliefs are not necessarily the real truth.
I remember my middle school “adventures” when I wasn’t liked by some students, so they would spread lies about me. But, I didn’t really care about it because my close friends and I knew the real truth.
And that’s what you need to do as well! Always decipher the difference between their beliefs and the truth.
The only people who know the real truth are you and those who know you and love you for who you really are.
You shouldn’t bother with what some irrelevant person in your life thinks about you if you yourself know whether their assumptions are valid or just plain wrong.
Check the situation
Before becoming grumpy or frustrated about something, first make sure to evaluate the situation.
Let’s say that you found a new job and you’re trying hard to make a good impression, so you work extra hours and do your best every day.
After some time, you notice that your co-worker doesn’t like you and now you’re wondering about what you have done wrong.
Before jumping to conclusions, you need to check the entire situation from a different perspective.
Chances are high that this colleague feels threatened by you because you’re diligent, organized, and determined and now you’re making them feel bad about themselves because they are the total opposite of you.
I have the urge to repeat again: Not everyone is going to like you and that’s totally okay!
See also: How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others To Start Flourishing
You’re not everyone’s cup of tea and this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you
The biggest mistake that many people make is thinking that not being liked by someone means there’s something wrong with them.
I mean, we live in the 21st century and we are evolving every day, resulting in more diversity, new things, new personalities and so on.
Neither you or I are everyone’s cup of tea and this is not something we should worry about.
I’m an introvert who gets easily drained by social events and you might be an extrovert who likes partying and social gatherings and this doesn’t make either of us RIGHT or WRONG.
This doesn’t mean you should change yourself for the sake of dating introverts or being liked and accepted by more people.
We just have different preferences and all we can do about it is accept it and move on.
Don’t take it personally
If there’s one thing you should really MEMORIZE from this entire article, it is the following: Don’t let someone else’s opinion define you!
Just because someone doesn’t approve of your style or choices, you shouldn’t get offended by it. You can respect their opinion, but never let it define you.
Don’t take things personally because you will waste your life thinking about what other people think instead of doing things you enjoy.
You have the right to express your opinion even if it is different from other people’s and if they don’t like it, you shouldn’t take it personally.
That’s the real beauty of being who you are and nourishing your true self. Respecting other people’s opinions, but not letting them define you.
You’re allowed to be who you are
Yes! You are you and there is no other YOU in the whole universe. You have every right to be who you are because by doing that you bring diversity and beauty into the world.
Now imagine that every single one of us was the same and afraid of being different.
It would be really hard to differentiate ourselves or fall in love with someone when we’re all the same (and we would certainly die of boredom).
Be proud of who you are and don’t be afraid to express yourself in every aspect of your life. If you’re a girl and you want to wear tomboy clothes (even though they are considered unfeminine), then do it!
If you’re a guy and you’re afraid of expressing your emotions because it is considered feminine, still do it!
If this is who you are and if you’re comfortable with it, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be YOU.
Don’t overthink it
Don’t let other people’s potential opinion make you anxious about your own actions. Just remind yourself of the fact that there are also people you don’t like and it is not a big deal, right?
So, why would you overthink if someone else doesn’t like you? When you put it that way, it sounds really funny. But, we human beings like to complicate things even when we’re offered an easy way out.
Relax, take a deep breath and ask yourself the following: Will I still be worrying about these same things five years from now?
Let me answer this one for you: You won’t! The truth is, you won’t remember any of it.
Right now it might seem like a big deal if someone doesn’t like you, but after some time you will find yourself laughing at it and thinking about whether you could have used your time more wisely.
8 Things That Happen When You’re (Finally) Okay With Not Being Liked By Everyone
It allows you to be who you are
I believe there’s nothing more powerful in the whole wide world than knowing who you are and being proud of yourself.
When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you’re basically okay with yourself!
You accept the fact that you’re an imperfect human being and you don’t worry about it. Instead, you embrace it. You make an effort to be your best self every day and that’s all that matters.
You’re not anxious about expressing yourself in front of other people because you know the only thing that matters is that you believe in what you’re talking about.
You respect others, and you stand up for yourself and your principles.
You know when to say no
You are no longer a people pleaser. You know when to say no because you’re being true to yourself. If someone asks you to do something you’re not okay with, you reject them politely and move on.
After that, you don’t spend the rest of the day worrying about whether they still like you or not. Why? Because you don’t care.
You know that you did the right thing and they have a choice to respect that or to hold grudges. And whatever their choice is, you don’t take it personally.
Instead of going out of your way to please everyone around you, you focus on what you want and what feels right to you. Talk about the ultimate dose of self-love and self-respect!
See also: 8 Signs You’re A People Pleaser And How To Stop Being One
You can freely express yourself
When you’re worried about being liked by everyone, you tend to overthink your words and actions. We all know the drill:
Hmm…if I wear this dress to a party, everyone will think that I overdid it. I probably shouldn’t wear it (because I don’t want them to think that I’m trying too hard. Instead, I want them to like me.)
Well, when you’re FINALLY okay with not being liked by everyone, you don’t overthink such things. You think about how you feel in that dress and not about what other people might say.
Your own comfort becomes your number one priority and not other people’s opinions. You’re not afraid to express yourself in different ways because you know that’s who you truly are and you’re not ashamed of it.
You become FREE.
And if everyone else around you is partying, you’re not afraid to read a book instead and say that you’re not interested in going out.
If the majority of people are wearing/doing one thing, you’re not afraid to rock your own style and do what feels natural to you and not someone else.
It helps you spend your time wisely
I learned the hard way that worrying about what other people think and being liked by them is a huge time waster.
There are so many inspiring, creative things we can do instead of blindly dancing to other people’s tunes and “begging” them to like us.
When we realize that, we choose to spend our time wisely. We indulge ourselves with nourishing self-care rituals, we go for a walk, we go to the cinema alone.
We dance like there’s no tomorrow (not caring about what others think) and Taylor Swift agrees with us as well:
“‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off.” (Shake It Off)
You become an inspiration to others
This is one of my favorite ones. Think about your idols and role models (if you have one or a few of them) and ask yourself what is that you like about them?
They probably do things differently than others, have a different style, opinion and so on, right?
And that’s the reason why you like them!
You see, when you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you become an inspiration to others because you’re not afraid to be who you are.
Let’s say that you wear a different, non-standard outfit to school or work one day. Some people will see you as a weirdo, while others will be inspired by your courage.
That’s exactly what happens with your role models as well. Some people like them and are inspired by them, while others don’t and that’s totally okay.
The truth is, not everyone is going to like you and by being who you are, you’ve got nothing to lose because you become an inspiration to others.
Doing your best (instead of worrying) becomes your motto
You strive to be your best self today and every day because doing your best becomes your life motto.
You no longer worry whether someone will judge your choices, habits or ideas because you know that you’re being the best you can be.
When you know that, you protect yourself from any potential negativity.
You don’t have a problem acknowledging your flaws and quirks, admitting when you’re wrong, correcting your mistakes, or apologizing.
You’re open to constant growth and that’s the main thing you’re focused on. You see every mistake as a valuable lesson and you don’t blame yourself or others for it.
You see things as they are and you try to improve them and you also accept those that you cannot change.
Being different is the key to success
Courtney Love once said that: “All publicity is good publicity to a certain degree”.
If your wish is to become an influencer (which is one of the most popular modern vocations nowadays), being different will help you in innumerable ways.
Both people who like you and those who don’t (good and bad publicity) will make you successful because the only thing that matters is that you’re a hot topic.
The most important thing is that they share, comment, and like your things and this will boost your profile and as a result make you successful.
This rule can be applied to every aspect of our lives as well. When we’re not afraid to be different from others, we develop a different mindset and skills – like thinking outside the box, for example.
So, yes, be different and don’t worry whether someone will like you or not because this is the key to success.
It helps you attract more positive things into your life
When you’re okay with not being liked by everyone, you spread positive vibes around yourself, and most importantly, to the Universe.
Thinking positively attracts more positive things into your life and that’s the Law of Attraction.
Whatever you think about, you attract that into your life.
Now, imagine that you constantly worry about not being liked by others and how it makes you feel miserable. This will only attract more negative things into your life (and you don’t want that).
Final Thoughts
Instead of worrying about other people’s approval, the only thing you should be worrying about is being the best version of yourself.
Whenever you’re feeling down about the fact that not everyone is going to like you, remember the following:
“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” – Mahatma Gandhi
See also: True Love Accepts You As You Are, It Doesn’t Compare You To Others
