Está a ter um caso emocional? 10 sinais e estágios

A independência absoluta e a solidão esgotam-nos a energia. É por isso que todos nós andamos pela vida à procura de amizades íntimas que nos dêem o tão necessário apoio emocional.

Muitas vezes, encontramo-lo nos nossos parceiros românticos. Afinal de contas, não escolhemos partilhar a nossa vida com eles? O problema, porém, surge quando optamos por procurar conforto noutro lugar.

It’s quite natural to have a friend of the opposite sex, although some may argue that such a friendship always hides forbidden desires of some kind. If such desires do exist, then you are participating in an emotional affair.

So, how do you know when you’ve crossed limites da relação? Isn’t befriending a person an innocent act since it lacks sexual infidelity? After all, you’re simply having conversations. That can’t cause harm to any of the involved parties. Or, can it?

O que é um caso emocional?

Essencialmente, um caso emocional é um caso que carências intimidade físicae é antes marcada por uma forte ligação emocional.

If you find that you’ve reached a higher level of intimacy with your friend instead of your current romantic partner, what you’re experiencing isn’t simply a platonic relationship.

Furthermore, if you can’t seem to talk to your partner about how much you appreciate your friendship with this person, it’s probably because you perceive it as much more.

Perhaps your partner isn’t at all aware that you have conversations with them, or they know of it superficially because you don’t dare to reveal any words you exchanged with them. Isto porque se apercebe do significado inadequado que têm para si.

Besides, your partner would instantly recognise that you seem to share something they can’t quite name, but what definitely lacks in your relationship. Let’s be frank – you wouldn’t seek another person if you managed to find all you desire in your romantic partner.

10 sinais de alerta de um caso emocional

Raramente se sabe quando se está no meio de um caso emocional. Pode durar anos sem que se apercebam do quanto está a enfraquecer a sua relação.

However, they mostly sense that something is not quite right. So, if you harbor doubts about the true nature of one of your friendships, you’ve come to the right place.

If you closely observe your own behavior when you’re in the presence of your friend, you will eventually gain clarity. There are numerous signs of emotional infidelity that can assist you with that. Now, stay with me and let’s take a closer look!

1. Sente-se atração sexual.

You may attempt to conceal the truth from others as well as from yourself, but you can’t disregard the feeling. A química sexual intensa é toda a confirmação de que precisa.

When you gaze upon them, it’s not a friend you see. When you poke fun at each other, you aren’t just enjoying their company. O tensão sexual é bastante evidente, embora se recuse a admiti-lo totalmente.

Não gosta de se sentir como um parceiro de traição, so you convince yourself that you aren’t flirting, but rather participating in harmless, friendly teasing.

2. If you’re sad, you come to them.

Sente-se incapaz de confiar no seu parceiro? Não consegue ser vulnerável com ele?

If your friend is able to offer you what your partner isn’t, it’s natural for you to start seeking them out whenever you’re in need of empathy and support.

Regardless if it is an everyday struggle or a life-changing traumatic experience, you’re uncomfortable sharing it with your lover. Why? Because you know you won’t get neither validation nor understanding from them.

3. Teme que o seu parceiro descubra.

Já alguma vez deu um passeio com eles e recusou deliberadamente falar disso ao seu parceiro? Nunca lhe conta a duração e a natureza das suas conversas?

If so, it’s due to sentimentos de culpa.

You’re not concerned that the friendship might be ruined. You’re rather concerned about how you would explain your actions. A ocultação de algo é o primeiro sinal da sua inadequação.

Prefere continuar a receber o melhor dos dois mundos. As long as you hide it, you don’t have to deal with your faulty relationship nor the fact that you’re hurting both of them porque mesmo que o seu parceiro não faça ideia, ele consegue senti-lo.

4. Queixa-se do seu parceiro a ele.

You aren’t quite ready para confrontar o seu parceiro sobre o que o perturba. Os problemas sérios da relação estão claramente presentes, mas a outra parte ignora-os.

Maybe you feel neglected by your partner while your secret close friend understands what you’re going through perfectly.

You feel as if talking to them is a solution to your problems, but the truth is – your problems are only becoming more enormous by the day.

Everything that drove you to become an emotional cheater is still there, and moreover, other issues have appeared as well – lies and disrespect.

5. Encontra sempre uma razão para se aproximar.

És tu que normalmente os contactas primeiro? Encontra sempre, de alguma forma, um tema adequado para conversar?

Perhaps you’re not fully conscious of your actions, but a part of you is aware of how wrong they are. This is why it’s not particularly easy to start a conversation with them. Por isso, procura-se a desculpa perfeita, tentando não parecer demasiado ansioso.

When you finally start talking, though, it is as effortless as a conversation can be. You devote a lot of time to them, and you always return to them because talking with your partner simply can’t compare.

6. Tem uma forte ligação emocional.

It’s fairly evident how connected you two are. You invest your emotional energy in each other practically every day.

This is not because you don’t desire such closeness with your partner. You’ve just witnessed many times by now how they don’t possess the ability that your friend does. Pode estar apaixonado por eles, mas isso não faz qualquer diferença.

Love isn’t always enough. What you seek is primarily friendship, and you’ve found that with your caso emocional parceiro.

7. You’re practically best friends.

When you are in this person’s company, you feel utter peace. There is no awkwardness nor pretense in order to please each other.

You get along so well because you’re similar. Nunca tens de te preocupar com a possibilidade de os aborreceres com as tuas provocações. Pelo contrário, isso excita-os e eles excitam-no a si também.

You share the same sense of humor, make each other’s day by sending hilarious memes, and offer tenderness when your day isn’t all that enjoyable.

Essencialmente, são como dois melhores amigos que juraram guardar segredo. Têm medo de se perderem um ao outro e, por isso, ficam ambos em silêncio.

8. Sente ciúmes.

Alguma vez os viu namoriscar com um colega de trabalho, and suddenly get filled with anger? You know you’re taken yourself, and you have no right to them, but you can’t bear to see them interested in someone other than you.

Worst of all, you can’t even tell them what a dreadful feeling that is. You can’t tell anyone. You might be acting like a couple without actually being one, but you never express your inner desires. You suffer in silence.

You feel as if your actions don’t count as long as you don’t turn them into a confession. But really, everything you do is a confession.

9. Fica-se ligeiramente possessivo.

Do you get oddly upset when they don’t return your phone calls, or when they reply to your text hours later? Why do you think that is? Why do you need their presence so much?

Nunca verbaliza realmente as suas emoções, mas elas tornam-se evidentes no que diz a seguir. Sente-se como se possuísse o seu parceiro amoroso da mesma forma que possui o seu parceiro romântico.

When they slip away from your fingers, you feel powerless. You know they aren’t quite yours, and they can do as they please. This is why you simply turn your distress into a witticism, secretly wishing things were different.

10. You’re close, yet distant.

Since you’re spoken for, eventually you realise that you’re not the only relevant party. This forces you to distance yourself from your friend, and to treat them as you would any other.

You yearn for closeness again, but you’re very well aware that you can’t have it, at least not how you once did.

Se esta decisão representa um enorme problema para si, então o afeto que sente por eles é maior do que pensa. O que precisa talvez seja de uma reavaliação atenta da sua relação romântica.

Fases de uma relação emocional

Os casos emocionais são verdadeiramente complexos. Nunca é fácil lidar com eles. São causados por problemas de relacionamento e trazem consigo outros problemas.

Como é que é estar num caso? Como é que os parceiros de um caso agem? Como é que terminam o namoro?

Bem, essencialmente, há quatro fases de um caso emocional. Se quiser saber mais sobre eles, continue a ler.

1. Algo está a faltar na vossa relação.

A presença de um outro parceiro requer, em primeiro lugar, uma necessidade não satisfeita. São eles que asseguram a satisfação das suas necessidades.

Perhaps your partner is too cold, and you’re in need of uma pessoa empática who can understandingly listen to you. Or, perhaps they just don’t understand your sense of humor.

De qualquer forma, está exausto pela falta de algo que deseja tanto que está pronto para o procurar noutro lugar.

2. Começa a procurar outra pessoa.

Forming a new friendship has finally fulfilled all your needs. You’re in uma relação de compromisso with your partner, all the while receiving the things they’re unable to give you from someone else.

Não há limites estabelecidos. A intimidade sente-se no seu mais alto nível. Qualquer tipo de hesitação é inexistente.

You rarely admit that this is wrong simply because you’re unaware of its seriousness. You may care about both parties, but just not enough to do right by them.

3. Estabelece limites com eles.

You finally admit to yourself that what you’re doing is wrong, and you take action towards remedying it.

You’re having a hard time abandoning your friend, but you do lower the level of closeness. You think all issues will be solved by distance, but you don’t realise how confused your friend must be, and how, technically, you are still an emotional cheater.

You don’t realise that the best option would be ending the friendship, or rutura com o seu amante principal.

4. Abandona-se uma das relações.

You can’t do it anymore. Hiding how you feel takes strenuous efforts, and you’re finally prepared to sort your problems out.

Ou conversa com o seu parceiro para melhorar a sua relação, ou abandona-o para começar uma nova relação com o seu amigo.

Seja como for, não há mais mentiras. Encontra a sua paz, mas um dos seus parceiros vai sofrer muito.

Um caso emocional é adultério?

A resposta é sim.

I’m certain that when you hear the word ‘affair’, what instantly comes to your mind is sexual intercourse. This is, after all, the most discussed type of adultery, and utterly unforgivable at that.

A ideia de que o seu amante está fisicamente envolvido com outra pessoa fá-la sentir-se tão miserável quanto se pode sentir. Sente que não há pior forma de traição do que um caso sexual. No entanto, quando experimenta a infidelidade emocional, vê como estava enganada.

I don’t wish to compare one painful situation with another. I am merely here to show you how emotional cheating can be just as hurtful.

Sex doesn’t necessarily involve emotional intimacy of any sort while an emotional affair is a much deeper connection with someone who’s NOT your partner.

Think about it. You get so intimate with your friend that you share with them all you somehow can’t reveal to your partner. And, you don’t even confess that this friendship exists in the first place.

A batota implica concealment, and it’s not only sex that you can conceal. If you find yourself more connected to your friend than your lover, you have a problem.

As mensagens de texto são um caso emocional?

The answer is YES, assuming the relationship involves all we had previously mentioned. Truth be told, this new ‘digital’ era of as mensagens de texto e as redes sociais tornaram os assuntos emocionais mais acessíveis do que antes.

É isn’t that relevant, though, which means you sustain your emotional affair. You can meet up regularly, or do nothing but text each other. It’s all the same – you’re cheating on your partner.

Not looking at someone’s eyes while talking doesn’t alter the fact that you’re exchanging details which are specifically meant for your primary lover.

So, if you’re ever tempted to text someone something “sensitive” thinking it will have no harmful effect, I plead with you to think again.

You aren’t just friends. You are rather giving that person hope all the while knowing you will never want any serious involvement with them. Moreover, you are disrespecting your primary partner to whom you should offer all of your affection.

Os casos emocionais transformam-se em casos físicos?

Por vezes.

Normalmente, mantêm-se emocionais, precisamente porque as pessoas não vêem neles qualquer mal, como acontece com os casos sexuais. Noutras alturas, porém, transformam-se em problemas físicos.

It’s hard to say because each situation is very specific. People cheat a lot, but as we’ve established, they aren’t always ready to face themselves. They are guilt-ridden, so they don’t proceed to the next level.

If they do proceed, however, it’s because the sexual desire towards their affair partner has become stronger than the guilt, or else the guilt is nonexistent altogether.

Quão comuns são os casos emocionais?

Bastante comum.

You’ve either started it yourself, or you surely know someone who has. A lot of people engage in conversations with others thinking it lacks meaning, so they simply proceed.

Talvez uma mulher esteja a enviar mensagens de texto a um rapaz que está claramente apaixonado por ela. Ele está constantemente a elogia-ae, por vezes, até exprime diretamente os seus sentimentos. Considera-o apenas um amigo, o que lhe diz, sem se incomodar com o seu amor por ela.

She doesn’t mention it to her boyfriend in order not to hurt his feelings, but she continues to talk to the guy, bringing their connection to a whole new level.

Peço desculpa por informá-lo, mas está, de facto, a ter um caso emocional.

This is why it’s so common. People perceive it as merely a talk when it’s really infidelity.

Um caso emocional é amor?

Não necessariamente.

You may be inclined to think that someone’s tendency for traição emocional é um sinal de falta de amor pelo seu parceiro. O seu raciocínio é válido e verdadeiro em determinadas situações. No entanto, isto pode tornar-se muito mais complexo do que isso.

Essencialmente, um caso emocional acontece devido a duas razões possíveis:

1. You’re not satisfied with your current relationship, although you love your partner.

A person can enter an emotional affair even if they’re in love with their partner, but their relationship has many underlying issues. They are aware of the issues at present, but they don’t see them as deal-breakers.

Em vez disso, procuram soluções FORA da relação primária. Tanto o confronto como o abandono são opções que se recusam a escolher.

2. You’re satisfied with your relationship, but seem to love someone else.

In this case, there’s nothing in need of fixing in your relationship. You just have feelings for someone other than your partner. Since it’s an affair of the heart, you can’t help but constantly seek them out.

You don’t depart from your lover because you care for them. Causing them pain is the last thing you want, but you’re completely unaware that that is inevitable whichever choice you opt for.

Reflicta sobre as suas próprias razões e tome uma decisão em conformidade. De qualquer modo, ponha fim ao caso.

Como reconstruir a confiança depois de um caso emocional?

Trusting your partner again after you’ve been emotionally cheated on isn’t easy. However, it isn’t impossible either. If you both put in the necessary effort to strengthen the bond between you, you will eventually succeed.

You’re not obliged perdoar e esquecer de imediato. No entanto, pode tentar compreender a origem primária do problema e como evitar que volte a acontecer.

Eis alguns passos que pode dar para o conseguir e reconstruir a confiança na vossa relação:

1. Responsabilizar-se.

If you are the one who is emotionally cheating on your partner, you’re probably filled with guilt. While you really ARE the guilty party, holding on to that emotion will benefit neither you nor your partner.

Don’t dwell on self pity. Your focus, then, will be on the past. Isn’t your goal to nurture the relationship you thought was doomed to end?

Em vez disso, basta assumir a responsabilidade pelos seus actos. Admite que foste tu que optaste por todas as formas erradas de lidar com os problemas. Admite, e depois procura formas de recuperar o que quase perdeste.

2. Exprimir livremente o que o incomoda.

You do realize that the problems in your relationship arose by you refusing to talk, right? If you do, then it’s time to do things a bit differently.

If you feel that your partner’s actions or words somehow cause you distress, do not suppress it. You’ve seen that suppression brings nothing good.

Saiba que as suas emoções são válidas e que merece ser ouvido.

Afinal, nunca foi culpado por se sentir como se sentia, mas sim pelas acções que tomou POR causa do que sentia.

3. Não ter mais segredos.

Fez amizade com uma pessoa nova? Vá e conte ao seu parceiro sobre isso. Talvez demore algum tempo a ganhar novamente a sua confiança, mas pode começar por nunca mais ter segredos.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have no right to a private life. You may be in a relationship, but first of all, you are an individual. It’s perfectly understandable to not want to share certain details with anyone, including your partner, too.

You don’t have to give o seu telemóvel para inspeção. You don’t need to unfollow all attractive people on social media for them to trust you again. These are rather unhealthy methods.

No entanto, se esses pormenores envolverem algo que possa desrespeitar a sua cara-metade, então esconder não é a melhor opção. You’re allowed to have friends, but if you feel strangely about them, perhaps it’s time to finally depart from your partner.

4. Tentar aconselhamento matrimonial.

Seeking out a therapist is not a shameful step to undertake. After all, what’s more relevant than your own mental health?

Conversar sobre como se sente em terapia de casais bem como fora dela. Evitar isso é precisamente a razão pela qual se chegou a esta situação.

Remember that it will be greatly difficult to improve your relationship, but since you’ve taken all these steps, it’s clear how much you care about one another.

O caso pode ter sido uma quebra de confiança, mas é também uma oportunidade para renovar a vossa relação. Desta vez, criem um laço que nenhum problema poderá quebrar.

How Do You Know It’s Just Friendship?

Naturalmente, nem todos os amigos têm um objetivo oculto. É perfeitamente possível amar platonicamente alguém e não desejar um envolvimento sexual ou romântico.

If you’re particularly interested in this paragraph, that means you doubt your friendship. You needn’t worry because it’s fairly easy to recognize that you perceive them as a possible partner.

Se os desejarmos, simplesmente SABEMOS. Para alguns, no entanto, pode não ser tão simples. Se pertence à segunda categoria, continue a ler para perceber como se sente.

Aqui estão alguns sinais de uma amizade platónica:

• There’s no sexual tension.

• You’re happy when they have exciting love stories to tell.

• You’ve never thought about a relationship with them.

• You enjoy their company, but you don’t really need them.

• You freely talk to your partner about them.

• Since there are no hidden desires, you’re comfortable with being seen.

• Showing your conversations to your partner wouldn’t be a problem.

• You never compare them with your lover because they have all you need.

Se algum destes sinais lhe parecer familiar, pode relaxar porque o que sente é amor platónico.

Considerações finais

It’s not too difficult to differentiate between a friendship and an emotional affair. While the former lacks any romantic or sexual desires, the latter is recognized by them. Still, those desires are never actually acted upon.

This is why it’s called an ’emotional’ affair because it’s strictly concerned with how both parties feel towards each other. O resultado final é que estão ligados emocionalmente, mas nenhuma das partes se toca nem confessa o quanto deseja.

If you have read this article and recognized signs of emotional infidelity in your own life, I plead with you to reconsider your actions. Firmly decide who you wish to form a long-lasting relationship with. This time, choose a way that won’t be so unkind.