O meu ex já me esqueceu ou está apenas zangado? Tudo o que precisa de saber

O fim de uma relação pode ser emocionalmente desgastante. Uma mistura de emoções negativas complicadas, que podem durar muito tempo, domina-o.

Emoções como o luto causado pela perda, a mágoa que nasce de um sentimento de traição e a raiva por se sentir injustiçado podem emergir em ambos.
When some time after the breakup has passed, it’s reasonable to expect that both sides have cooled off.

Se lhe apetece ter uma conversa com o seu ex, mas ele parece distante e desinteressado, deve estar a perguntar-se: Será que o meu ex já me esqueceu ou está apenas zangado, e porquê?

In addition to answering that question, you can also read about what course of action to take if it turns out that they’re over you or if it turns out that they’re angry with you.

Lastly, when your ex’s anger has faded, and they tell you that they’re ready for a relationship, we’ll take a look at some signs that can tell us they really mean it.

O meu ex já me esqueceu ou está apenas zangado? Como saber

Problems can arise if both people aren’t in the same place emotionally. For example, you might be ready for reconciliation, but the other person may need more time. It’s also possible that your ex is no longer interested in voltar a juntar-se.

If you’re not really talking openly, and one or both of you is still wrapped up in their feelings, it might be hard to tell what your ex feels.

Felizmente, existem alguns sinais óbvios que podem ajudá-lo a descobrir se seu ex-miss tu but is just mad or if they’ve moved on.

You won’t find every single one of the following “symptoms” in your ex, of course. This is merely a rough guide to help you get an idea of why your ex might be acting strange when it’s hard to communicate.

When we figure out how they feel and where you stand, we’ll look at what the best course of action to take in either case is.

1. O teu ex ainda está na tua vida

If they’re constantly around in some way, you can be sure that they haven’t let go and that they still have feelings for you. Whether those feelings are good or bad remains to be seen.

There’s a well-known quote by Elie Wiesel that goes, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference,” and it’s applicable here.

If you’re wondering,  é o meu ex sobre mim ou apenas zangado? the answer is, if your ex were done with you, they wouldn’t want you in their life.

They wouldn’t contact you, look at your social media, and they’d do everything they could to avoid you.

Inversamente, se seu O ex quer-te de volta (but maybe not right now), they’ll make sure to keep in touch with you.

Eis algumas formas de o seu ex tentar manter-se envolvido na sua vida:

• Your ex tries to talk to you any chance they get. They might call to pick a fight or send you a message on Whatsapp to ask about something trivial. Still, any real communication is impossible because things still get heated whenever there’s contact between you.

• Your ex talks to your mutual friends about you. They show an inordinate amount of interest in what’s going on with you. How you are, where you’ve been, who you’ve been seeing. Your ex is curious about everything and almost treats your mutual friends like spies.

• Your ex checks your social media. Podem até estar a seguir todas as tuas publicações. Desfazem a amizade, depois voltam a fazer amizade. A primeira vez que gostam acidentalmente de uma publicação tua no Instagram, tornam imediatamente a sua conta privada.

• Your ex is trying to make your friends choose between you. They’re feeling angry and want to share that anger. They’re trying to make you feel as miserable as they are. To that end, they might be trying to turn your friends, and even family members, against you.

2. O seu ex está a agir de forma estranha

If your ex is having trouble controlling their temper, it’s a good sign (I guess?). O que quero dizer é que, se o seu ex o tivesse esquecido, as suas reacções emocionais seriam frias.

A reação deles ao lidar consigo seria, no máximo, de aborrecimento, e agiriam de forma estranha à sua volta.

If your ex is mean, that means that they’re angry, and that won’t last forever. Alguns sinais disso são:

• Your ex might act rude or passivo-agressivo. It’s an immature way to lash out and get your attention. They’re fingir que já te esqueci, but they’re really a mess. Their social media is full of vague statements about you. If you’re in a new relationship, they’re rude to them too.

• Your ex is bad-mouthing you. They’re incapable of not focusing on you, so even when you’re not around, they talk about you. Your ex always has a sob story about how you hurt them, can list all your flaws, and recall your every mistake whenever they run into any mutual friends.

• Your ex is doing things to make your life difficult. Podem explodir à mais pequena provocação e guardar rancor. Se o seu ex tem um novo parceiro, ele também é rude consigo, o que é um sinal de que o seu ex tem falado MUITO de si.

• Your ex is acting really happy. Like, weirdly too happy. They’re trying really hard to show you that their life is perfect without you. They’re in a happy new relationship, your friend tells you.

Their social media is full of fun new things they’re doing. Things have never been better, and they tell you when you meet up to drop off a forgotten book.

In reality, if your ex were really as happy as they were trying to make it seem, they wouldn’t be so loud about it. If they had moved on, they wouldn’t be interested in informing you of that.

3. O seu ex está a dar-lhe sinais contraditórios

Se o seu ex está zangado consigo mas ainda te ama, it’s confusing for you but also for them.

For this reason, they’re probably unsure how to process their feelings and how to behave, so they’re nice and kind one day, and the next day, they act like you’re their worst enemy.

Maybe there’s no malice in what they’re doing, but it can still be damaging because you might start feeling like they’re stringing you along. Your ex might be atuar a quente e a frio se:

• They treat you badly one day, kindly the other. Perhaps in moments of weakness, your ex might show you their sweet side that you once fell in love with. They’re still processing their feelings, and you might be seeing it in real-time.

• They won’t let you move on. They’re constantly talking about how they’re over you, but the moment you have someone new in your life, they get involved. They insist that you’re in a rebound relationship that has no future and act like the other person is no good.

• They are doing things to make you jealous. To get a reaction out of you, your ex starts flaunting that they’re dating where they know you can see. Whether flirting with others in front of you or making out with someone they’ve started dating, they’re making sure you can see or hear about it.

• They block your number but still call you. Sentem a tua falta, but they’re angry, so they’re not sure what to do. Also, they’re feeling left out of the situation and checking whether you’re feeling bad too. A drunk dial is a sure bet.

Todos estes comportamentos podem ser mais ou menos intensos ou presentes. À medida que a sua dor e raiva diminuem, o seu comportamento errático também diminui. Se acha que, apesar de tudo, esta é a pessoa certa, tenha paciência e dê-lhe tempo antes de tentar reatar a relação.

Ver também: Porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou? 13 razões secretas

O que devo fazer se achar que o meu ex já me esqueceu?

Se o seu ex já o esqueceu, considere a possibilidade de ser muito gentil consigo própria e de praticar o autocuidado de todas as formas possíveis. Se quiser que o seu ex voltar, and they’re over you, I hope the following advice can give you some strength. It’s going to be hard, but you can overcome it.

1. Avançar

A coisa mais fácil de dizer, mas tão difícil de fazer, eu sei. Repeat this until you believe it: your ex isn’t more important than you. By focusing on them, you’re losing sight of yourself.

Para já, afaste-se de tudo o que possa causar nostalgia em relação à sua relação. Em momentos como este, só nos lembramos dos bons momentos e esquecemos porque é que acabou.

2. Manter-se sempre ocupado

Occupying yourself with other things might be a crutch at first, but in time, you’ll stop thinking about them even when you’re not doing anything.

In the meantime, staying busy will help you remember that there’s more to your life than your relationship with your ex.

3. Cortar todos os laços

Seja implacável nesta matéria. Ter absolutamente nenhum contacto com o seu ex, se o conseguir fazer. Se partilham um filho ou um animal de estimação de que ambos cuidam, o contacto deve ser reduzido ao mínimo e a comunicação deve ser direta.

4. Don’t stay friends

O seu ex pode estar a tentar manter as boas relações e evitar ferir os seus sentimentos. Your ex can’t be a amigo íntimoespecialmente logo após a separação.

Com o tempo, talvez seja possível, mas, neste momento, eles têm de compreender que precisa de ser deixado em paz para os ultrapassar. Caso contrário, poder-se-ia agarrar à esperança de voltar a juntar-se quando não têm qualquer intenção de o fazer.

5. Pedir ajuda

When you’re feeling down and tempted to get in touch with your ex, call your best friend or a family member. Let your loved ones help you get through this.

Don’t shy away from even looking for professional help if you think it’s necessary. Crie uma rede que o possa ajudar a ultrapassar estes tempos difíceis.

6. Don’t lose your spirit

Quem sabe, talvez esta separação tenha sido para o melhor? Neste momento, pode estar a sentir-se devastado, mas confie em mim, as nuvens vão desaparecer e o sol vai voltar a brilhar. Dedique este tempo a si próprio e olhar para o futuro.

Porque é que o meu ex está zangado?

Sometimes people manage to split up with their partners and stay friendly and on good terms with no hard feelings. Life would be easier if all breakups were like that, but I’m afraid they’re not.

Muitos separações começar com uma briga quando algo pequeno geralmente desencadeia um ataque de ressentimento que vem se acumulando há muito tempo.

No calor do momento, todas as pequenas coisas que não gostamos no nosso parceiro e até os erros mais triviais que ele cometeu podem parecer tão grandes como os erros realmente importantes.

Both of you might be feeling hurt and angry. It’s a normal emotional response to a stressful situation. Quer tenha sido você ou o seu ex que iniciou a rutura, or if it was a mutual decision, you’re both entitled to your feelings.

When you’re ready to start working on getting back together with your ex, their attitude can make you question yourself and your intentions.

Por muito que queira abordá-lo de uma forma calma e amigável, pode ser difícil.

You might know why they’re angry, or you might be wondering what you did to deserve it. A raiva por causa de uma separação é muito comum e pode ter várias causas.

• Hurt

Most of the time, the source of anger after a breakup is hurt. Even if they were the one who broke up with you, they’re, without a doubt, still feeling upset. Por muitas outras causas que existam, estes sentimentos nascem sempre da mágoa.

Pode haver uma ou várias razões justificáveis para os seus sentimentos, mas, por vezes, o simples facto de ter acontecido uma separação é suficiente para os provocar. O seu ex-namorado ou namorada pode estar a sentir-se desrespeitado ou desiludido, mesmo de coração partido.

• Blame

Your ex might blame you for the hurt they’re feeling. A sua raiva é causada porque sentem que foram injustiçados. It can be that they feel that you’ve broken their trust or neglected them.

Additionally, there’s a possibility that they’re blaming you for something you didn’t do. There’s even a chance that your ex thinks you were infiel when you weren’t.

Regardless, their emotions are still real and valid, and until you get a chance to clear it up, there’s nothing you can do.

• Mind games

Há casos em que um ex zangado se agarra por vezes à sua raiva porque sente que a sua indignação lhe dá vantagem e um certo poder sobre si. This makes them feel like they’re the righteous one, and you’re the villain.

Poderá sentir-se tentado a continuar a pedir desculpa e a implorar até que ele o perdoe, mas isso só o deixará mais zangado e mais determinado.

If they see that what they’re doing is working, there’s no reason for them to stop, is there?

• Mental health

It’s also possible that their anger isn’t related to you. They might be using the situation to lash out and make themselves feel better because they weren’t happy with themselves and were having a hard time in their own lives.

The hurt of the breakup only made their negative feelings stronger, and they feel entitled to their anger. This has nothing to do with you, and you can’t make them change their thinking.

A forma de os ajudar é encorajá-los a resolver os seus problemas, embora isso possa ser difícil nesta altura.

• Backlash

If you’ve tried to justify your behavior and change their mind about the breakup by pushing too soon and ser pegajosoSe o seu comportamento não for o mais adequado, eles podem reagir com mais raiva e afastar-se ainda mais.

They might feel like you’ve disrespected their feelings and are trying to hold them back. O seu ex pode estar zangado porque nunca lhe deu a oportunidade de tentar curar-se e, possivelmente, de ser feliz sem si.

O que devo fazer se o meu ex estiver zangado?

Even though you found the answer to the question, “Is my ex over me or just angry?” you’re still thinking about your ex and your breakup.

If that’s the case, you probably feel like it’s unresolved.

Ou queres voltar a namorar, ou precisas de uma conclusão. Nada disto vai acontecer até que ambos estejam prontos para ter uma conversa honesta.

We’ve already mentioned that hurt is always at the core of anger after a breakup. Both of you are feeling it, but your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is also angry.

You can’t change their feelings or how much longer they’ll keep holding on to their anger and when and if they’ll be ready to reconcile.

Eis algumas coisas que pode fazer.

1. Nada

Sim, a primeira coisa a fazer é não fazer nada. Mesmo que sintam falta um do outro, em vez de tentarem contactar o vosso ex, devem ir com calma e dar algum tempo a ambos.

I’m sure you’ve apologized—or tried to—more than once. I’m sure you’ve done all you can to let your ex know that you’re ready for a conversation, so it’s up to them now. Stick to a regra de não contacto, and they’ll reach out when they’re ready.

2. Concentrar-se em si próprio

There’s nothing else you can do but shift focus from your relationship to the rest of your life. As you’re recovering from heartbreak, your loved ones, your job, and caring for your mental health can all provide healing.

Improve what you can, and learn to accept what can’t be changed. Our relationships can only thrive when we’re happy with ourselves.

Pode aproveitar este tempo para se certificar de que sabe qual é a melhor solução para a sua separação. Independentemente de voltar para o seu ex ou de decidir seguir em frente, seu bem-estar não é negociável.

3. Prestar atenção

Quando chegarem a um ponto em que possam falar abertamente sobre o que sentem e querem, ouçam. Ouça com atenção o que ele diz e observe como ele age. Don’t let what you wish for distract you from the actual situation.

Don’t try to hope for a certain resolution to avoid being disappointed. Before you start looking for any clues that they might still love you, pay attention to your ex’s behavior, listen to what they’re saying, and go with that.

4. Ter paciência

It’s going to take a great deal of both time and patience to work out a solution to your problems that both of you will be happy with.
A raiva desvanece-se, mas os sentimentos ainda são frágeis nesta altura.

It’s easy to say the wrong thing during this period. O maior desafio é evitar cometer erros. Be courteous, and don’t let your ego take charge. Apologize when it’s right. As long as the efforts are mutual, a solution can be found.

5. Mostrar que se preocupa

Quando ambos decidem voltar a estar juntos, devem começar por identificar o que levou à vossa separação e como evitar repetir os mesmos erros.

Empenhe-se em mostrar ao seu ex que se preocupa. É necessário reconstruir a sua confiança para seguir em frente. A forma de começar a fazer isso é mostrar compreensão. Ouça o que o seu ex quer dizer e aceite os seus sentimentos e desejos.

Como saber se o meu ex quer um relacionamento

Now that we’ve stopped wondering things like, “is my ex over me or just angry?” we know where we stand. So, your ex isn’t angry anymore.

They’re ready to talk, and they’re saying they want to get back together.

Both of you went through hardships during the breakup, and now it’s time to decide whether you’re ready for a relationship.

We’ve learned how to recognize what’s going on, so now we come to the final question: How can I tell that my ex is over their anger and ready to voltar a juntar-se?

• They pay attention and listen

Ser sincero, presente e ter uma mente aberta na comunicação com outras pessoas são as chaves para ser um bom ouvinte. Prestar atenção ao que eles fazem e dizem demonstra interesse e cuidado.

In a romantic relationship, where we’re especially invested in the other person, a lack of judgment and willingness to hear the other person are of utmost importance.

• They respect your boundaries

A healthy relationship is impossible if both partners don’t respect each other’s boundaries. Knowing when to pull back and when to show up come from communication and respect for what has been shared.

Limites são importantes em todas as relações, não apenas nas românticas. People let us know what matters to them and tell us how to treat them, and it’s important not to think that we know their lives better than them.

• They’re supportive and affectionate

Someone who loves you doesn’t hide their love but shows it through signs of affection, among other ways. Carinho, abraçoTodos estes actos aprofundam a intimidade e facilitam a ligação.

O amor também é óbvio no sentido da confiança de que a outra pessoa o apoiará sempre que precisar dela. Se puder, um parceiro amoroso estará lá se o chamar, e pode contar com ele.

• They’re honest and vulnerable

Someone who wants a healthy relationship knows that there’s no intimacy unless you open up. To do so, there’s no escaping o sentimento de vulnerabilidade que advém de nos partilharmos com outra pessoa.

If they’re able to share their true feelings, fears, and hopes with you, you can be sure that they want to be with you.

• They make it clear they want to be in your life

Como concluímos anteriormente, o sinal mais importante de que alguém sente algo por si é quando lhe diz, sem qualquer dúvida, que o quer na sua vida.

We mentioned that anger and feelings of conflict show a person’s inner struggle. However, if they want to be in a loving relationship, they’ll make their warm feelings and their wish to share their life with you clear.

Em conclusão

After a breakup, there’s a lot of heartache. Both people are confused, hurt, and emotional. For the partner who’s ready to get back together, the question, “Is my ex over me or just angry?” is a constant worry.

As suas acções durante este período sensível podem mudar o rumo da sua futura relação. Reconhecer como a sua ex se sente pode ajudar a decidir como agir. Existem diferentes caminhos a seguir, dependendo se o seu ex já o esqueceu, se ainda está zangado ou se está pronto para voltar a juntar-se.