Wondering how to get someone off your mind and finally move on with your life? Welcome to the new chapter of your life!
Regardless of whether you’re trying to move on from your almost relationship or trying to forget someone you were once in love with (or someone you never even had a chance to be with), these are the thoughts that are probably running through your head: “I’m wondering what they are doing now or if they are thinking about me… Perhaps I should text them, just ask them how they are doing, nothing too serious… Or maybe this is not a good idea. God, I wish I could get them off my mind once and for all!”
Do you know how I know what’s going on in your head? Because I was once you. I mean, who am I lying to, I’ve been in your shoes multiple times so far and I totally understand how consuming this all can be.
The truth is, everyone wants to, or better said, is TRYING TO forget someone. I guess that is how the expression ‘catch flights, not feelings’ came to life.
Obsessing over someone you want to get out of your head is one of the most frustrating things that could happen to you and today, you’ll learn how to finally move on!
Ready? Buckle up and let’s get started!
The Art Of Moving On: How To Get Someone Off Your Mind
Stop stalking them on social media
Whenever I’m trying to get someone off my mind, I find it hard not to daydream about them for hours. I imagine different kinds of things, from telling them, “I love you,” to traveling around the world with them.
In my world, my love for them is vast and unconditional but in their world, I probably don’t even exist.
The sad truth is that even though I’m perfectly aware of all of this, I still can’t stop daydreaming about them or stalking them on social media.
I guess that’s just how human beings are wired. If you ask me, to stop stalking someone you really like on social media, let alone blocking them is the greatest challenge of human psychology and I dare you to accept the challenge!
Unfollow, unsubscribe, unfriend them. Stop waiting for them to post new pics, stop re-reading their posts and doing all those crazy things we do when we’re trying to forget someone.
It’s time for a social media detox. It’s time to get them out of your head.
Stop trying to figure out what’s going on inside their mind
A lot of people think that if they succeed in deciphering what’s going on in that person’s mind, they will solve some kind of enigma and be able to move on with their life. Let me tell you something: That will not happen.
The only sure thing that could happen is you ruining your mental health from all that thinking. You might not like what I’m going to say next but here’s the harsh truth:
If they wanted to talk to you or see you, they would make sure to pick up their phone and do it!
Don’t just think that they are busy, sad, tired or something else. Let it go.
Stop making excuses for them. I mean, we’re living in the 21st century, where instant communication has reached its peak and is still evolving. If they wanted to contact you, they would make sure to do so.
Stop trying to figure out what’s going on inside their head but focus on sorting things out inside your own. The only thing you can influence is your own mindset.
Get rid of nostalgic items that remind you of them
If you were in a relationship with that particular person you want to forget, you probably have a lot of gifts and other memorabilia from them. If you didn’t spend a lot of time with them, then this one will be easier for you.
What you need to do is get rid of all the items that remind you of them. It could be a teddy bear, blanket, tickets or other things that remind you of a certain event and moments spent with them.
By doing this, you will get rid of all the potential triggers (things that remind you of them), which will prevent you from daydreaming about them or giving in to the temptation of contacting them.
Get closure
Instead of focusing on finding solutions and new ways of connecting with them, accept what happened and get closure.
To be able to get someone out of your head, you mustn’t run away from yourself.
You cannot somehow magically delete their existence and pretend that you never met them. They were a part of your life and you need to accept this.
Don’t question anything but let go of everything.
Follow the ‘no contact rule’
When one of my friends asked me the following question: How do you get someone off your mind? I reminded them of this powerful ‘no contact rule’.
Learning how to move on and stop contacting that particular person is not an easy task. It’s one of the hardest things to do in life but it’s necessary if you want to finally move on.
Apply the no contact rule. Stop talking, texting and doing all the other things with that particular person you want to forget.
If you don’t trust yourself, delete their number, unfollow them, tell someone to hide your phone from you and so on.
Whatever you do, don’t contact them, don’t stalk them and you’ll be just fine. I know it’s easier said than done but I believe in you and I’m sure you can do it!
Stay active
Find new hobbies, meet new friends, hit the gym, go for a walk, make cookies, redesign your place, dance, sing, draw. When you’re struggling to get someone off your mind, the most important thing is to stay active.
Once I decided to be more active, it was the first time I didn’t think much about the one I was trying to forget because I simply didn’t have time for that anymore.
The math is simple here; the more you focus on doing something else, the less you’ll think about them.
See also: Why Do I Still Love My Ex And How Do I Move On?
Redirect your thoughts
Learning how to get someone off your mind is similar to learning how to get your mind off food. If you’re constantly thinking about food, the chances are you’ll be tempted to eat more and more.
If you’re constantly thinking about that one person, the chances are you’ll be tempted to contact them.
Instead of doing that, read break-up quotes, convert your negative thoughts into creativity, watch Netflix and focus on your own life and how you can make it better and more interesting.
Trust me, the only way to get him or her out of your mind is by having something new in your mind. By keeping yourself occupied, you will not have time to think about anything related to them.
Don’t beat yourself up
When my high school crush rejected me, I had a hard time accepting the fact that it had nothing to do with me.
I blamed myself for not being pretty enough or attractive enough because I was convinced that was the reason why he wasn’t interested in dating me.
Later in life, I would often find myself dating emotionally unavailable men who would get scared of commitment or anything related to that after a certain period of time.
Again, I blamed myself for being too pushy or needy (even though that was not the case).
I wasn’t aware of the fact that I couldn’t influence any of it and that there is no point in questioning anything or overthinking their choices and decisions.
So, my humble advice to you is: Don’t beat yourself up.
There are dozens of factors that can influence one person’s decision to do or not do something. This has nothing to do with you.
No matter what you do or say, nothing will change if you’re not meant to be. Remember that everything happens for a reason and one day, you’ll realize that and be thankful for it.
Allow yourself to feel all your emotions
No matter what you do, remember that suppressing your emotions is not an option. Many people think that forcing themselves to forget someone and suppressing their feelings will help them get out of their head faster.
Been there, done that and do you know what happened? I prolonged my suffering.
Instead of looking for instant solutions when it comes to getting someone off your mind, you need to allow yourself to feel all your emotions, from sadness to grief.
You cannot get rid of something if you don’t acknowledge it first. To move on with your life, you need to go through the acceptance phase first, express how you’re feeling and validate your feelings.
Yell, cry, laugh out loud, do whatever you wish but don’t fake that you’re feeling good when you’re not. It is okay to feel hurt and betrayed. Know that this will not last forever.
Express yourself
This step is connected to the previous one. There are many ways in which you can express yourself and the reason why you should do this is to get your emotions out of your system.
You can decide to draw something, create something from scratch or write a song (even if it is a heartbreaking one).
Express yourself by choosing an interesting outfit or singing karaoke (even if you’re an anti-talent at singing).
You can express yourself even when you’re cooking. All you need to do is find your favorite ways of expressing how you’re feeling and you’ll be halfway to getting them off your mind.
My favorite method for expressing myself is singing. If I’m feeling sad, I think about some sad songs and sing them. Sometimes I even cry while doing that but after I’m done, I feel much better.
Practice mindfulness
How to get someone off your mind? Learning how to forget someone is about focusing on being in the moment. The biggest source of your distress and disappointment lies in overthinking the past.
The only way to move forward is to be in the moment and focus on what’s happening right now. The best method for practicing mindfulness is meditation.
Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don’t think about anything else but your breathing and your heartbeat.
Connect with the universe and your true self. Once you achieve that, you’ll realize that it is the secret to true happiness.
See also: The 7 Healthiest Ways To Effectively Deal With Rejection (And Finally Move On)
Keep a journal
There are so many benefits of keeping a journal and the biggest one of all is creating order when your world feels like chaos.
When you write your feelings on a piece of paper, you get a clear insight into your psyche and overall mindset.
When I started keeping a journal, I was in a really complicated love situation. I had no idea what to do about it, so I just started writing about how I felt about everything.
Whenever I finished writing, I would feel ten times lighter because I left all of my burdens (thoughts and emotions) in my journal.
Keeping a journal is also great for tracking your progress.
After some time, check what you wrote a few weeks ago and you will instantly notice your progress and how ‘stupid’ you were back then (at least that’s how I felt).
I recommend keeping a daily journal regardless of whether you’re trying to get someone off your mind or not. Trust me, you’ll be grateful to yourself for that.
Practice forgiveness
By directing all of your energy into hating your past or that one person, you often neglect the healing power of forgiveness. To practice forgiveness means to give yourself a chance for a new beginning.
When we forgive someone, we’re not only forgiving them but also ourself.
No matter the reason why you want to get someone off your mind, know that if you don’t forgive yourself and them, you will never be able to move on.
Let that fact motivate you to gather courage and decide to let go of everything.
Forgive them for not texting you back when you really needed them. Forgive them for not liking you the way you like them. Forgive them for not needing you the way you need(ed) them.
Once you do that, you will feel instant relief. Once you forgive the past, you’ll be ready to dive into the future.
Imagine a bright future
Instead of focusing on what happened with them, think about what will happen in the future when you meet the right one for you.
One of the biggest mistakes every single one of us makes when trying to forget someone is directing all of our attention to what COULD HAVE happened.
Because of this, we end up in a limbo state, being unable to move forward. If you want to learn how to get someone off your mind, you need to imagine a bright future.
Imagine a person who will reciprocate, make you feel special, treat you with respect and do all those little things that mean a lot.
Imagine a person who will always make sure to kiss you goodnight or send you a heartwarming goodnight message just to remind you how much you mean to them.
One day, you will meet that person and then you will be grateful to the universe for all those past mistakes, almost lovers and mediocre romances.
Talk to your friends and family
If you don’t like the idea of keeping a journal, a good alternative is talking to your friends and family.
Feel free to talk to a close friend, your best friend or a family member about your attempt to forget that one person and how they impacted your life.
This will help you better understand how you feel and you might also receive a valuable piece of advice from them.
The chances are that they’ve had similar experiences and different coping methods that worked for them.
However, make sure not to overdo it. Know when it’s the right time to talk about your life and feelings and when you should just forget about everything and enjoy spending time with your friends.
Don’t turn your friendships into love life sessions because this might become a burden for those who love you (and to you as well).
Practice self-care
When was the last time you did something nice for yourself (and by that, I don’t mean just washing your hair)? By constantly thinking about them, you’re depriving yourself of your well-being.
It’s time to put yourself first, boost your wellness and think about how you can improve your life. It’s time to practice self-care because loving yourself is a necessity and not just something you should consider doing.
Here are some of the best self-care tips:
Schedule some me time each day
Eat healthy food (or at least try to)
Practice positive affirmations
Spend time in nature
Find a hobby that fulfills you
Love yourself because if you don’t, you will not be able to love others either. Self-love is the greatest gift you could give to yourself.
The more you’re focused on your well-being, the less you’ll think about the one you want to forget.
Enjoy life
Wondering how to get something off your mind forever? Two words: ENJOY LIFE. Always be thankful for what you have instead of cursing the universe for what you don’t.
Make the best of each day, strive to improve every aspect of your life, laugh with your friends, cuddle with your pet, eat your favorite food, watch your favorite TV shows and so on.
I can totally imagine the look on your face as you’re reading this. You’re probably thinking to yourself: Easier said than done.
And I used to think that too. I was so depressed about the whole situation with one person that I literally refused to eat.
I thought about them 24/7 until one day, I decided that it was time to stop doing all that!
I forced myself to watch TV shows even though I wasn’t really interested in any of them BUT as time passed, I realized that that was exactly what I needed. What I’m trying to say is: Fake it till you make it!
Even if you don’t feel like going for a walk, DO IT. Even if you don’t feel like doing anything, still DO IT. Spending time with your loved ones and distracting yourself with other things is exactly what you need at the moment.
Enjoying life to the fullest is exactly what you need.
See also: What Is A Junk Journal? Ideas, Secrets And Tips
And Be Patient!
When it comes to mastering the art of how to get someone off your mind, you need to understand that it is a process.
Every single person is unique and some of us need more time to forget someone, while others need less.
Also, there are many other factors that influence how fast you will move on, like the amount of time you spent with them, whether you broke up with them or whether they were an almost lover.
However, if you still have obsessive thoughts after a long period of time, consider seeking professional help. Good luck and remember: You can do this!
See also: The Best Revenge Is To Move On