How to get over a guy you just broke up with, who doesn’t love you back or a guy you never really had?
First of all, I have the urge to accentuate that love is one of the most complex emotions that exists in the world and a broken heart is one of the most painful feelings one can experience.
The end of a relationship or first love, realizing that he doesn’t like you back and that he’s just not good for you, all result in a painful heartbreak.
Realizing that you don’t have a future with him and that you never had is the easy part, but getting over him and forgetting him like nothing happened is the hardest one.
Stalking him on social media becomes a daily chore because to unfriend him means to delete your hope, and you’re simply not ready for that yet.
Texting your mutual friends is a risky venture (but it’s definitely on the list). Spending the majority of your time watching Netflix and eating tons of ice cream actually helps, but only for a short time.
Dating sites are out of the question because you’re sick of guys and everything that has to do with them.
But, have you ever thought that maybe that’s exactly what you need to do?
The real truth is that doing all of the above has never helped anyone to get over a guy, let alone start the healing process because what you need to do is ACCEPT the truth and negative emotions, EMBRACE the truth, and ENJOY the moment.
ACCEPT, EMBRACE, ENJOY.
I know it sounds like some low-budget commercial for anxiety pills, but trust me, it’s actually the only answer to the question: How to get over a guy?
It is a process of intensive self-care and boosting your self-esteem because it is exactly what you need when a relationship ends or when you have waited too long for something that has never even started.
It’s time to accept the truth, focus on yourself, and boost your endorphins with healthy activities because that is the only thing which will help you forget your ex-boyfriend, almost lover or douchebag who just wasted your time!
And in case you’re wondering how to do it, don’t worry because you will not have to waste large amounts of your time looking for relationship experts and dating advice from therapists. All you need is right in front of you!
So, take a deep breath and read carefully the following list of things and steps that will help you get over him in no time!
HOW TO GET OVER A GUY: 14 STEPS TO HELP YOU FORGET HIM IN NO TIME
1. Accept that it’s over or it will not happen
The first step to getting over a guy you just broke up with or you’ve never been with is accepting that it’s over, that it has ended or it will not happen no matter how much you still want it.
I know it sounds harsh, but you need to cut all the hope because that is the biggest thing which is still preventing you from moving on.
As long as there is hope, you will never stop stalking him on social media, waiting for him to change his mind or apologize to you.
As long as you still hope, you will never reach emotional distance which is the key ingredient of the healing process.
And that is why you need to accept that what you had with him is gone, and that it’s for your own good because no one deserves to realize too late that you just weren’t meant to be.
You need to accept that what you want with him will never happen because there is probably something better waiting for you.
2. Focus on your feelings
Instead of running away from negative emotions and real life, do the exact opposite!
Open your eyes, feel your pain and focus on your feelings! Why? Because the more you’re trying to fight them or hide them, the longer you’ll feel miserable and in pain.
Accept the fact that it’s not your fault things ended the way they ended.
No matter what you did or said, you would simply not be able to change anything because some things are just not meant to be.
Sometimes you have to go through a storm in order to find yourself and be given things that you actually deserve. And being mad at yourself is definitely not one of those things.
So, focus on what’s real, what exactly happened, and how you feel about it.
The longer you practice this, the sooner you’ll be able to replace those feelings with other more fulfilling things like a new hobby, girls night, and similar.
3. Grab your girls and hit the town
So, after you’re done with focusing on your feelings, it’s time to occupy yourself with other more exciting things than just watching Netflix. It’s time to grab your girls and hit the town!
I know that this is the last thing you can think of at the moment, but it’s totally necessary.
Dancing with your best friends will shake you up. Talking about the injustice of love will make you feel better, and being in public will prevent you from overthinking.
It’s a perfect distraction and a necessary step when it comes to proceeding with the healing process.
4. Make a list of good and bad things about him
You’re probably confused about this one because who in their right mind would want to write something good about the person they’re trying to forget, right? But, in this case you’re doing it for valid reasons.
You need to make a list of good things about him because this will help you erase all those things from your brain.
Once you get them on paper, try to imagine deleting them from your head.
However, the list of bad things is the list you need to keep on reading in order to keep reminding yourself of the negative things about him.
The longer you look at the list, the more you’ll feel at ease and at peace with yourself because you will no longer be blind.
Instead, you will start thinking reasonably because you will see that everything is just as it’s supposed to be.
See also: If Your Healing Hurts Too Freakin’ Much, Read This
5. Spoil yourself
When was the last time that you did something for yourself? I’m sure it was a long time ago, and that is why it’s time to change that.
It’s time to enjoy long bubble baths, find a new hobby, change your hairstyle, buy a sexy outfit, read a good book, drink your favorite cocktails, and just relax.
It’s time to stop dwelling on your past and enjoy the present.
Consider also online dating if it is something that entertains you. And so what if you meet a new guy there? It’s not the end of the world.
You can chit chat and flirt with anyone you want, and the longer you socialize and expand the circle of your friends, the more you will get in touch with yourself.
Living your life to the fullest will prevent you from trying to erase the consequences of your love life.
So, make sure you spoil yourself for your own well-being in the first place, and everything else will just follow.
6. Look at things from a different perspective
Instead of being mad at yourself for letting all of this happen, try to look at things from a different perspective. What does this mean?
It means realizing that this was probably the best thing that ever happened to you (no matter how wrong it sounds) because you will no longer waste your time with someone who is not worthy of you, someone who is not ready to be with you or someone who could have hurt you more had you stayed with him.
Remember that everything is in your head.
If you think that what you’re going through is the worst thing that happened to you, think again.
Is getting rid of someone who you never really had the worst or the best thing that happened to you?
7. It’s not only your loss—It’s his, too (and he’ll probably regret it)
No matter how much you were crazy about him and no matter how painful it was to end your relationship, understand that it’s not only your loss—it’s his, too. Why?
Because you still cared about him and thinking about him just proves that you’re a person with a big heart and hope.
And even though you have no chance of being with him, you’re still fighting it and trying to find reasons why it happened.
You’re a beautiful, sensitive soul, and you should never think that you’re the only one who lost something or someone.
He’s the one who lost you as well, and once you find someone who will treat you the way you deserve and with whom you’ll be compatible, he’ll probably regret losing you, but unfortunately it will be too late.
So, there’s no need to bother yourself with imagining that he’s drinking cocktails and enjoying the high life while you’re being miserable within your four walls.
His conscience is probably eating away at him, but you know that this is just not enough for you to reconsider getting back together.
8. Be happy for him
I know how hard it is to be happy for someone whom you’re trying to get over and forget, but you need to do it.
You need to be happy or at least pretend that you’re happy for him because that’s the only way to block all the negativity and prevent jealousy outbursts.
So, if you happen to see that he’s found someone new, don’t immediately freak out or hit him (or her) with the nearest object.
Instead, put a smile on your face (for your own sake), and congratulate him if needed.
Do whatever you need to, but don’t let him see your weak side because you don’t want to get back to repeating all the initial stages of healing.
You need to convince yourself that you’re already over him (even if you’re not) because when your mind is convinced of something, it will start believing it and acting accordingly.
This is a big no-no. I know it’s hard to delete someone all of a sudden from your life, but what’s even harder is prolonging the pain.
And by texting him, stalking him on social media, liking his every picture, waiting impatiently for his posts and secretly hoping to hear the sound of likes on your pictures, you’re preventing yourself from moving on.
So, turn off your phone, delete his profiles on social media, go outside, meet your friends or do anything else, but just DON’T stalk him on social media.
Every time you start feeling the urge to do it, occupy your mind with something else instead which will be ten times more productive and better for you.
See also: Read This Whenever You Feel Like Texting Him, Even Though You Know You Shouldn’t
10. Stop thinking about ‘Could have’ and ‘What if’
‘What might have been’ is a sentence you need to seriously ignore because it will only bring you back to the past—something you want to forget.
I will repeat, whatever you could have said or done, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
You could have been the perfect girlfriend (even though this doesn’t even exist) and you could have done everything in your power to get him to like you, to change him and to save your relationship, and still something would happen and disrupt everything.
So, there’s no need to bother yourself with thinking about what you could have done nor about what you can do today.
It’s gone, it’s over and it’s good that it’s over, so occupy yourself with positive people and exciting things, and live a life as you please because you sure as hell deserve it.
11. Focus on the good things you already have in life
Remind yourself that you don’t need a man to make you happy because you’re perfectly happy on your own.
Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you, be grateful for everything you already have in life, and embrace every future change.
Instead of focusing on him, you need to focus on all the good things you already have in life.
Don’t think that your life will be more fulfilling and better with him in it because it’s not true.
Be happy for who you are and be grateful for what you have because that’s all that matters.
12. Make yourself a priority
If you want to learn how to get over a guy fast, you will need to make yourself a priority instead of an option.
Constantly thinking about your past relationship or him is giving you less time to think about yourself as well.
That is why it’s necessary to make yourself a priority. Look at it this way: At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how you’re feeling about yourself and not how you’re feeling about some guy who perhaps doesn’t even know that you exist.
Stop treating people who don’t belong in your life as a priority because they’re just not worthy of your time and nerves.
Focus on yourself and on today instead of what happened.
13. Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself for everything you wanted to say or do but didn’t. Forgive yourself for forgetting that you’re good enough and that you deserve a lot more than you think.
Forgive yourself for not loving yourself enough and letting him play with your mind.
You need to forgive yourself for everything that happened because it’s the only way to move forward and accept the truth.
14. Find the courage to accept the things you cannot change
The last step is finding the courage within your heart to accept all the things you cannot change or influence in your life.
This includes finding the courage to accept that you two were not meant to be, that you’re ten times better off without him, and that he’s not worthy of being your priority.
Find the courage to accept your broken heart, your tears and sleepless nights, and embrace them.
Embrace them because they are a part of the change that is necessary for you to evolve and become stronger and wiser in future!
Final Thoughts
Getting over a guy you just broke up with or a guy you never really had is definitely not an easy task.
It’s a long process that requires lots of patience, devotion, and effort.
But, if you follow all of the steps above and stay persistent, there’s nothing you should worry about.
The guy you couldn’t stop thinking about will soon become the guy you’ve forgotten exists.
All you need to do is believe that you will succeed and that better days will come because I can assure you that they will!
And when that happens, you will laugh at everything you’re worrying about now.
You will realize that no guy is worthy of your tears, effort, and love if he’s not ready to reciprocate.
And you will wait for the one who will do everything to prove to you that you deserve to be loved passionately, crazily, and unconditionally!
See also: 3 Ways To Get Over Somebody Who Never Knew How To Love You
