Let me guess. Your husband has been acting weird lately and you’re not really sure what exactly is happening with him (or your marriage).
Perhaps you’re no longer intimate as you were before, your marriage stagnates in every aspect, or your husband is spending more time at work than usual.
What exactly is going on here?
Does your marriage need fixing? Is there something wrong with your husband? Has he met someone else? What are the signs that a husband likes a coworker?
Maybe you’re overthinking things but maybe you aren’t. How will you know for sure? Here’s how.
Below you’ll find all the obvious and not-so-obvious signs husband likes coworker. We’ll also go through the signs of guilt by a cheating husband. I hope you are ready.
19 Signs Husband Likes Coworker
Constant business trips, spending more time at work, neglecting you and your marriage… These are just a few signs that your husband might like his coworker more than what is appropriate If the majority of these signs resonate with him, then you know it’s time to have a serious conversation with your husband:
1. Spending more and more time at work.
Suddenly spending more time at work than before is the number one RED FLAG something is off with your husband.
Spending time at work has suddenly become his favorite activity (if it can even be called so) and every time you ask him about it, he has a “valid reason” why he has to work long hours. Those valid reasons are probably just lame excuses.
I’m sure you’re familiar with those famous movie scenes: A married man comes home late almost every single night. What does his wife start to think? That he’s having an affair, of course!
However, there is always a chance that he might be really doing something work-related and it has nothing to do with liking his coworker.
2. Frequent business trips and meetings.
What’s the perfect cover up for spending time with his female colleague? Business trips and meetings, of course!
If you suspect that this is the case, then his working relationship might have escalated to a full-blown affair. Always look for changes in his lifestyle, personality, and behavior.
Sudden frequent business trips or working longer hours than before are all warning signs you should perhaps investigate.
3. Putting extra effort into his work appearance.
Expensive perfumes, hitting the gym regularly, changing his style, getting a new haircut. If these things don’t sound like cheating at work, then I don’t know what does.
It’s not really about him doing these things but about this SUDDEN change in his behavior.
Why didn’t he put in extra effort to impress you? Why would he all of a sudden decide to look at his best and put so much effort into his appearance?
Men don’t do it for no reason. It’s evident that he wants to impress someone. That someone could be his colleague. Why would he want to impress her? Because he likes her.
4. Comparing his coworker with you (subtly or directly).
Here’s the thing. When we like someone, we subconsciously start comparing them with all the other people in our life. If he likes his colleague, chances are he’ll compare you with her in a direct or subtle way.
For example, if you behave in a certain way, he will tell you that his colleague would behave or do something differently (usually better than you would).
Evidently, he sees his coworker as a potential partner and because of that compares her with you. His mind is preoccupied with analyzing your personality and behavior with hers. He might be even convincing himself that he’s more compatible with his coworker than you.
RELATED: 20 Unmistakable Signs A Coworker Likes You & Wants Something More
5. His car oozes female perfume.
Have you ever paid attention to the perfume smell in his car when he returns home from work? If he’s doing something behind your back with his colleague, his car might reveal his sneaky nature.
If you notice any suspicious perfume smell in his car (and you know it’s not his or yours), then you have every right to suspect there is something going on between him and his colleague.
Perhaps he’s cheating you with a coworker or just offers to give her a ride home. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know for sure.
6. Avoids mentioning her.
One of the subtle signs that he might be into his female coworker is when he avoids mentioning her. Let’s say that he’s talking about every single one colleague in his company (including his boss) but he never mentions that one specific lady.
How so?
Maybe because he likes her and he knows that he couldn’t look you in the eye when mentioning her. He doesn’t want you to start suspecting something because his body language might tell you more than his words.
7. Never ask you to accompany him to work events.
Has he ever asked you to accompany him to an office party or other work-related events where they are allowed to bring their other half?
If he never did that (and you know he had an opportunity to do so, then this could be one of the signs husband likes coworker.
Obviously, he doesn’t want his female coworker (read: the object of his affection) to see him with you. Perhaps he told her that he’s single and he wants to keep it that way so that he can continue doing things behind your back.
8. Other colleagues making jokes and teasing him about her.
Have you ever heard his other colleagues teasing him or making jokes about another woman? That woman could be his colleague as well.
Trust me, male coworkers never tease for no reason.
Think of them as boys in high school. Whenever a boy liked a certain girl, they would tease the hell out of him for that. Sometimes this behavior continues even when they’re supposed to act mature.
They continue teasing their male colleagues, especially when they notice some signs of a female coworker showing affection toward their colleague.
So, if you hear something like that happening or if someone else tells you from the office, you have every right to start questioning his motives.
9. He and his phone have become inseparable (especially at night).
Does he have that goofy smile every time he’s texting with someone on social media? Does he have lots of late-night phone calls?
Memorize this relationship advice: Opposite sex friendships in a workplace are really rare. If he tells you that he’s texting his friends aka coworkers, ask him their names.
Him suddenly having a female colleague best friend at work might be one of those inappropriate friendships while married. If that is the case with him, then it’s essential to establish boundaries regarding friends when married.
PRO TIP: Make sure to also check cheating spouse text message codes.
10. Exhibits defensive behavior.
Does he become defensive every time you ask him about his weird behavior or why he stays at work so late? Defensive behavior is definitely one of the signs a husband likes a coworker.
Why would anyone become defensive if they feel they have nothing to hide from you? Just think about it.
Every time you start questioning his behavior, he feels threatened that you might find out the real truth. That is why he immediately starts defending himself. He’s doing that because he knows he’s guilty and his subconsciousness is eating away at him.
11. Acting differently when she’s around.
The easiest way to find out whether your partner has an affair with a coworker is by observing his behavior when she’s around him. If he likes her, he won’t be able to stop smiling when being in her vicinity.
He will also become more self-aware in her presence. He might even start fixing his appearance (his hair, tie, or shirt). He’ll do that because he’s focused on impressing her.
Pay attention to all those and similar things and you’ll notice any change in his behavior. If he’s acting differently around her, then you know she’s the reason for that.
12. He knows a lot about her.
If your hubby knows a little bit too much about his female colleague than he should, this is also a warning sign.
Does he know her favorite food, the name of her pet, who her best friends are, or some personal info he normally shouldn’t know?
Knowing a lot about someone always means one thing: INTEREST. If he wasn’t interested in her, he would never bother remembering all those things about her, right?
When we like someone, we focus on absorbing as much details as possible about them. Maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing right now.
13. He’s neglecting you in every sense of the meaning.
If a man likes someone else or is cheating on you, he will neglect you in every sense of the meaning. This means that he will no longer initiate lovemaking and he will stop giving you attention.
When a man stops doing things for you or stops expecting things from you, it means he’s giving and getting it back somewhere else.
This might also be followed by the following famous excuse: “I’m so tired lately.” Yes, maybe he’s “tired” of hanging out with his female colleague all the time. Right?
14. Your home is no longer his happy place.
If he’s evidently unhappy every time he comes back from work, it’s a clear sign that something’s not right. Your home should be his and your safe haven and your happy place.
If it is not, it could be that spending time with her outside work hours means more to him than spending time with his significant other – YOU.
15. He’s not that happy about the idea of you meeting her.
Have you ever thought about meeting this female colleague he can’t stop talking about? If you did and he was never happy about his idea, then this is also one of the signs your husband likes a coworker.
He doesn’t want you to meet her because this would only mean one thing: You would figure out that he actually likes her more than just a friend or a colleague.
Because of that, he’ll keep making excuses why you can’t meet her. He will tell you that she’s sick or that he’s on vacation, or even that she got fired recently. Any excuse is better than telling the truth!
16. Visiting his workplace is strictly forbidden to you.
His workplace is like his man cave. He’s so protective of it that he openly and literally forbids you to go there. To me, this smells like a workplace affair sign.
What if you need him in case of an emergency and he doesn’t answer your calls? Logically, you will visit his workplace to find him. Wait, you can’t do that because he doesn’t want you to go there.
Visiting his workplace shouldn’t be that much of a big deal for someone who has no secrets (or side chicks).
Stop for a minute and try to rewind the time frame. Did he share more work-related things with you in the past than now?
This could also be one of the signs your husband likes a coworker. He doesn’t want you to be updated on his work situation.
He doesn’t share anything with you because he’s scared that he might tell you something he shouldn’t. He’s scared that you might connect the dots and catch him out. So, he chooses to remain silent.
18. Woman’s traces in his belongings.
Wondering about how to tell if your husband is cheating with a coworker? Just pay attention to any traces of a woman in his belongings.
By this I mean things like lipstick on his collar, locks of hair on his clothes, his clothes being soaked in a woman’s perfume, and similar.
Traces of a woman in a man’s belongings are always a sign of a red alert. It means that he doesn’t only like this female but he’s actually spending time with her outside the workplace.
19. He never introduces you to any of his colleagues.
Looking for more signs of a cheating husband at work? You don’t need to be a relationship expert to figure this one out. If someone doesn’t want to introduce you to his or her colleagues, then something’s fishy.
For every action, there is a reaction. For every suspicious behavior, there is a reason behind it. There’s a reason why he never introduces you to his colleagues.
Chances are high that it’s one of these two things:
• He likes his coworker.
• He’s already cheating on you with his coworker.
See also: 15 Signs Of Miserable Husband Syndrome (+ Tips To Cope)
What Are The Signs Of A Guilty Husband?
The signs of a guilty husband include blame-shifting, acting distant, showering you with attention, and constant complaining.
A guilty husband could be involved in an emotional affair, a physical affair, or a combination of the two. Here are some telltale signs of guilt by a cheating husband:
1. Blame-shifting.
If a man (or a woman) accuses you of cheating and you know you aren’t guilty, then chances are high they are THE ONES who are cheating on you.
Cheaters often resort to this method called blame-shifting. They accuse you of the things they are guilty of. They do this to justify their actions by creating an imaginary narrative that you’re the one being unfaithful.
Basically, they are telling you: “You’re probably cheating on me and that’s why I feel no guilt of cheating on you as well.” They know that this is not true but they still do it to try to feel better about themselves and their actions.
2. Acting distant.
If your husband is suddenly acting distant, it is a sure sign of his guilt. He can’t deal with the fact that he’s a legit cheater and he can’t look you in the eye.
He’s acting distant because your presence makes him feel guilty about what he’s doing behind your back. He knows he doesn’t deserve you and that’s why he refuses to be close to you.
It could also mean that he’s aware of the bad situation at work as well. Chron explains how cheating affects the workplace by saying: “Extramarital cheating at work can disrupt workflow, lower morale, diminish productivity and damage reputations.”
Both being at home and at work makes him feel nervous and uneasy. The guilt is penetrating every fiber of his being.
3. Showering you with TOO MUCH attention.
Did you know that sudden showering you with too much attention can also be a warning sign? Doing something excessively is always a sign of something bigger going on in the background.
Your husband didn’t choose to suddenly become the best husband in the world overnight. Well, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes they do convert into the best husbands in the world but oftentimes it’s because they feel guilty about something.
Does he regret cheating on you? Is he paying you special attention because he’s actually feeling guilty about being a terrible husband?
That’s a lot to process but take your time to find out what the truth is.
4. Constantly complaining about you.
If your hubby is constantly complaining about you, it could be to justify his cheating. When a person is feeling guilty for doing something, they also feel this urge to justify it.
One way to do it is by making you feel like there is something wrong with you. If he’s complaining about every single little thing you do, he’s doing it to let you know that you’re not such a good partner.
In his head, he’s giving himself a green light to continue doing what he’s doing (read: cheating on you). How lame, right?
RELATED: The Lure Of Forbidden Fruit In Marriages – How Affairs Happen
TEST HIM: 3 Things To Do If You Suspect Your Husband Likes A Coworker
Every woman likes playing detective (especially when it comes to infidelity). We enjoy following traces and decoding their body language. If you suspect that your husband likes a coworker, here are the best ways to test him:
• Invite your “enemy” for dinner.
Yup. You read it right. I suggest that you invite your husband’s coworker for dinner only to see his reaction. Does he all of a sudden look confused or threatened?
If yes, then you know there’s probably a reason why he’s acting that way. Obviously, he can’t invite a colleague he likes for dinner in his own home to sit with his wife. Or can he?
• Say something insulting about her and watch his reaction.
When a man likes a woman, he becomes sensitive about her reputation. If someone says something bad about her, he immediately goes into defensive mode. So, you can use this to your advantage.
You can say something insulting about his female coworker and wait for his reaction. Does he defend her? If yes, he’s doing it because he cares about her. Every other husband would just nod at what his wife says about his coworker (only to avoid confrontation).
If a husband starts actively defending her, there’s probably something he’s not telling you about her.
• Suggest going on a double date.
I know this sounds creepy (the same level of creepiness as in inviting a coworker for a dinner), but it’s worth a try! Suggest to your husband that you should go on a double date with his coworker.
This means that you two need to find a suitable date for his coworker. Will he be happy with the idea of his coworker being with someone else in his presence? Ouch, boy, that will hurt!
Or, will he become determined to sabotage your idea of a double date with some pro excuses? Hmm…
• Try one of those spy apps.
Spy apps allow you to track your husband’s online and offline activities on a cell phone. They give you access to his call logs and text messages, so you’ll know for sure whether you’re dealing with a cheating husband or not.
Here are some of the best free apps to try: ClevGuard, Hoverwatch, uMobix. Playing detective has never been more fun, right?
Or You Can Always Talk To Him!
If you’re not interested in looking for signs husband likes coworker or testing your husband but you want to directly confront him regarding your suspicions, then DO IT! Talk to him about it, and most importantly, pay attention to his body language.
A husband who knows that he’s guilty of something will start muttering, cross his arms, and be unable to look you in the eyes. If it turns out that he likes his coworker and is having an affair with her, then it’s time to do something about it.
Should you break up with him (read: get a divorce)? Should he find a new job?
I’m not here to tell you what you should (or shouldn’t) do if you find out that your husband is cheating on you. Every situation is unique. In my personal opinion, a woman should never tolerate a man who is cheating on her.
Here’s one more opinion: A woman should never tolerate a man who is cheating on her if he doesn’t show serious signs of remorse.
A man who is not interested in keeping you will not feel the need to make it up to you for his mistakes. Such a man is not worthy of being with you. Period.
