¿Mi ex me ha olvidado o sólo está enfadado? Todo lo que necesitas saber

El final de una relación puede ser emocionalmente agotador. Una mezcla de complicadas emociones negativas que puede durar mucho tiempo te abruma.

Emociones como el dolor causado por la pérdida, la herida que surge de un sentimiento de traición y la ira porque te sientes agraviado pueden aflorar en ambos.
When some time after the breakup has passed, it’s reasonable to expect that both sides have cooled off.

Si te apetece mantener una conversación con tu ex, pero parece distante y desinteresado, puede que te preguntes: ¿mi ex me ha superado o sólo está enfadado, y por qué?

In addition to answering that question, you can also read about what course of action to take if it turns out that they’re over you or if it turns out that they’re angry with you.

Lastly, when your ex’s anger has faded, and they tell you that they’re ready for a relationship, we’ll take a look at some signs that can tell us they really mean it.

¿Mi ex me ha olvidado o sólo está enfadado? Cómo saberlo

Problems can arise if both people aren’t in the same place emotionally. For example, you might be ready for reconciliation, but the other person may need more time. It’s also possible that your ex is no longer interested in volver a estar juntos.

If you’re not really talking openly, and one or both of you is still wrapped up in their feelings, it might be hard to tell what your ex feels.

Por suerte, hay algunos signos evidentes que pueden ayudarle a averiguar si su ex misses usted but is just mad or if they’ve moved on.

You won’t find every single one of the following “symptoms” in your ex, of course. This is merely a rough guide to help you get an idea of why your ex might be acting strange when it’s hard to communicate.

When we figure out how they feel and where you stand, we’ll look at what the best course of action to take in either case is.

1. Tu ex sigue en tu vida

If they’re constantly around in some way, you can be sure that they haven’t let go and that they still have feelings for you. Whether those feelings are good or bad remains to be seen.

There’s a well-known quote by Elie Wiesel that goes, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference,” and it’s applicable here.

If you’re wondering,  es mi ex sobre mí o simplemente enfadado? the answer is, if your ex were done with you, they wouldn’t want you in their life.

They wouldn’t contact you, look at your social media, and they’d do everything they could to avoid you.

Por el contrario, si su ex te quiere de vuelta (but maybe not right now), they’ll make sure to keep in touch with you.

He aquí algunas formas en las que tu ex podría intentar seguir involucrado en tu vida:

• Your ex tries to talk to you any chance they get. They might call to pick a fight or send you a message on Whatsapp to ask about something trivial. Still, any real communication is impossible because things still get heated whenever there’s contact between you.

• Your ex talks to your mutual friends about you. They show an inordinate amount of interest in what’s going on with you. How you are, where you’ve been, who you’ve been seeing. Your ex is curious about everything and almost treats your mutual friends like spies.

• Your ex checks your social media. Puede que incluso acechen cada una de tus publicaciones. Se dan de baja como amigos y luego vuelven a serlo. La primera vez que accidentalmente les gusta un post de Instagram que hiciste, inmediatamente hacen su cuenta privada.

• Your ex is trying to make your friends choose between you. They’re feeling angry and want to share that anger. They’re trying to make you feel as miserable as they are. To that end, they might be trying to turn your friends, and even family members, against you.

2. Tu ex está actuando

If your ex is having trouble controlling their temper, it’s a good sign (I guess?). Lo que quiero decir es que, si tu ex estuviera por encima de ti, sus reacciones emocionales hacia ti serían frías.

Su respuesta al tratar contigo sería, como mucho, de fastidio, y actuarían de forma incómoda a tu alrededor.

If your ex is mean, that means that they’re angry, and that won’t last forever. Algunos signos de ello son:

• Your ex might act rude or pasivo-agresivo. It’s an immature way to lash out and get your attention. They’re fingiendo haberte superado, but they’re really a mess. Their social media is full of vague statements about you. If you’re in a new relationship, they’re rude to them too.

• Your ex is bad-mouthing you. They’re incapable of not focusing on you, so even when you’re not around, they talk about you. Your ex always has a sob story about how you hurt them, can list all your flaws, and recall your every mistake whenever they run into any mutual friends.

• Your ex is doing things to make your life difficult. Podrían explotar a la menor provocación y guardar rencor. Si tu ex tiene una nueva pareja, también es grosera contigo, lo cual es señal de que tu ex ha estado hablando MUCHO de ti.

• Your ex is acting really happy. Like, weirdly too happy. They’re trying really hard to show you that their life is perfect without you. They’re in a happy new relationship, your friend tells you.

Their social media is full of fun new things they’re doing. Things have never been better, and they tell you when you meet up to drop off a forgotten book.

In reality, if your ex were really as happy as they were trying to make it seem, they wouldn’t be so loud about it. If they had moved on, they wouldn’t be interested in informing you of that.

3. Tu ex te da señales contradictorias

Si tu ex está enfadado contigo pero todavía te quiere, it’s confusing for you but also for them.

For this reason, they’re probably unsure how to process their feelings and how to behave, so they’re nice and kind one day, and the next day, they act like you’re their worst enemy.

Maybe there’s no malice in what they’re doing, but it can still be damaging because you might start feeling like they’re stringing you along. Your ex might be actuar en frío y en caliente si:

• They treat you badly one day, kindly the other. Perhaps in moments of weakness, your ex might show you their sweet side that you once fell in love with. They’re still processing their feelings, and you might be seeing it in real-time.

• They won’t let you move on. They’re constantly talking about how they’re over you, but the moment you have someone new in your life, they get involved. They insist that you’re in a rebound relationship that has no future and act like the other person is no good.

• They are doing things to make you jealous. To get a reaction out of you, your ex starts flaunting that they’re dating where they know you can see. Whether flirting with others in front of you or making out with someone they’ve started dating, they’re making sure you can see or hear about it.

• They block your number but still call you. Te echan de menos, but they’re angry, so they’re not sure what to do. Also, they’re feeling left out of the situation and checking whether you’re feeling bad too. A drunk dial is a sure bet.

Todos estos comportamientos pueden ser más o menos intensos o estar presentes. A medida que su dolor y su ira disminuyan, también lo hará su comportamiento errático. Si crees que, a pesar de todo, es el indicado, ten paciencia y dales tiempo antes de intentar volver a estar juntos.

Véase también: ¿Por qué me odia mi ex cuando me dejó? 13 razones secretas

¿Qué debo hacer si creo que mi ex ya me ha olvidado?

Si tu ex te ha superado, plantéate ser muy amable contigo misma y practicar el autocuidado de todas las formas posibles. Si quiere que su ex vuelta, and they’re over you, I hope the following advice can give you some strength. It’s going to be hard, but you can overcome it.

1. Seguir adelante

Lo más fácil de decir pero tan difícil de hacer, lo sé. Repeat this until you believe it: your ex isn’t more important than you. By focusing on them, you’re losing sight of yourself.

Por el momento, mantente alejado de cualquier cosa que pueda provocar nostalgia sobre tu relación. En momentos así, sólo recordamos los buenos momentos y olvidamos por qué terminó.

2. Mantenerse ocupado en todo momento

Occupying yourself with other things might be a crutch at first, but in time, you’ll stop thinking about them even when you’re not doing anything.

In the meantime, staying busy will help you remember that there’s more to your life than your relationship with your ex.

3. Cortar todos los lazos

Sé implacable al respecto. Tener absolutamente ningún contacto con tu ex, si puedes manejarlo. Si compartes un hijo o una mascota de la que ambos os ocupáis, mantén el contacto al mínimo y la comunicación al grano.

4. Don’t stay friends

Puede que tu ex esté intentando mantener las buenas relaciones y evitar herir tus sentimientos. Your ex can’t be a amigo íntimoespecialmente tan pronto después de romper.

Con el tiempo, puede que sea posible, pero ahora mismo, deben entender que necesitas que te dejen en paz para superarlos. De lo contrario, podrías aferrarte a la esperanza de volver a estar juntos cuando no tienen intención de hacerlo.

5. 5. Pedir ayuda

When you’re feeling down and tempted to get in touch with your ex, call your best friend or a family member. Let your loved ones help you get through this.

Don’t shy away from even looking for professional help if you think it’s necessary. Crea una red que pueda ayudarte a superar estos tiempos difíciles.

6. Don’t lose your spirit

Quién sabe, ¿quizá esta ruptura haya sido para mejor? Puede que ahora te sientas desolado, pero créeme, las nubes se despejarán y el sol volverá a brillar. Dedícate este tiempo a ti mismo y mirar hacia el futuro.

¿Por qué se enfada mi ex?

Sometimes people manage to split up with their partners and stay friendly and on good terms with no hard feelings. Life would be easier if all breakups were like that, but I’m afraid they’re not.

Muchos rupturas empezar con una pelea cuando algo pequeño suele desencadenar una avalancha de resentimiento que se ha ido acumulando durante mucho tiempo.

En el calor del momento, cada pequeña cosa que nos disgusta de nuestra pareja e incluso los errores más triviales que cometió pueden parecer tan grandes como los realmente importantes.

Both of you might be feeling hurt and angry. It’s a normal emotional response to a stressful situation. Tanto si fue usted como su ex quien inició la ruptura, or if it was a mutual decision, you’re both entitled to your feelings.

When you’re ready to start working on getting back together with your ex, their attitude can make you question yourself and your intentions.

Si tienes que preguntarte: ¿mi ex me ha superado o sólo está enfadado? por mucho que quieras acercarte a ellos de forma tranquila y amistosa, puede resultar difícil.

You might know why they’re angry, or you might be wondering what you did to deserve it. La ira por una ruptura es muy común y puede tener múltiples causas.

• Hurt

Most of the time, the source of anger after a breakup is hurt. Even if they were the one who broke up with you, they’re, without a doubt, still feeling upset. No importa cuántas otras causas haya, estos sentimientos siempre nacen del dolor.

Puede haber una o muchas razones justificables para sus sentimientos, pero a veces, el mero hecho de que se haya producido una ruptura es suficiente para provocarlos. Puede que tu ex novio o novia se sienta faltado al respeto o decepcionado, incluso con el corazón roto.

• Blame

Your ex might blame you for the hurt they’re feeling. Su ira se debe a que se sienten agraviados. It can be that they feel that you’ve broken their trust or neglected them.

Additionally, there’s a possibility that they’re blaming you for something you didn’t do. There’s even a chance that your ex thinks you were infiel when you weren’t.

Regardless, their emotions are still real and valid, and until you get a chance to clear it up, there’s nothing you can do.

• Mind games

Hay casos en los que un ex enfadado a veces se aferra a su ira porque siente que su indignación le da ventaja y cierto poder sobre ti. This makes them feel like they’re the righteous one, and you’re the villain.

Puede que tengas la tentación de seguir disculpándote y suplicando hasta que te perdonen, pero eso sólo hará que se enfaden más y se queden más anclados en sus costumbres.

If they see that what they’re doing is working, there’s no reason for them to stop, is there?

• Mental health

It’s also possible that their anger isn’t related to you. They might be using the situation to lash out and make themselves feel better because they weren’t happy with themselves and were having a hard time in their own lives.

The hurt of the breakup only made their negative feelings stronger, and they feel entitled to their anger. This has nothing to do with you, and you can’t make them change their thinking.

La forma de ayudarles es animarles a trabajar en sus problemas, aunque eso pueda resultar difícil en este momento.

• Backlash

If you’ve tried to justify your behavior and change their mind about the breakup by pushing too soon and ser pegajosopueden estar reaccionando a tu comportamiento con más ira y alejándose aún más.

They might feel like you’ve disrespected their feelings and are trying to hold them back. Puede que tu ex esté enfadado porque nunca le diste la oportunidad de intentar curarse y posiblemente incluso de ser feliz sin ti.

¿Qué debo hacer si mi ex se enfada?

Even though you found the answer to the question, “Is my ex over me or just angry?” you’re still thinking about your ex and your breakup.

If that’s the case, you probably feel like it’s unresolved.

O quieres que volvamos juntos, o necesitas un cierre. Nada de esto ocurrirá hasta que ambos estéis dispuestos a mantener una conversación sincera.

We’ve already mentioned that hurt is always at the core of anger after a breakup. Both of you are feeling it, but your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is also angry.

You can’t change their feelings or how much longer they’ll keep holding on to their anger and when and if they’ll be ready to reconcile.

Aquí tienes algunas cosas que puedes hacer.

1. Nada

Sí, lo primero que debes hacer es no hacer nada. Aunque os echéis de menos, en lugar de acercarte a tu ex, deberías tomártelo con calma y daros un poco de tiempo.

I’m sure you’ve apologized—or tried to—more than once. I’m sure you’ve done all you can to let your ex know that you’re ready for a conversation, so it’s up to them now. Stick to el norma de no contacto, and they’ll reach out when they’re ready.

2. Céntrate en ti mismo

There’s nothing else you can do but shift focus from your relationship to the rest of your life. As you’re recovering from heartbreak, your loved ones, your job, and caring for your mental health can all provide healing.

Improve what you can, and learn to accept what can’t be changed. Our relationships can only thrive when we’re happy with ourselves.

Puedes tomarte este tiempo para asegurarte de que sabes qué resolución de tu ruptura te conviene. Independientemente de si vuelves con tu ex o decides pasar página, su bienestar no es negociable.

3. Presta atención

Cuando tú y tu ex lleguéis a un punto en el que podáis hablar abiertamente de lo que sientes y quieres, escucha. Escucha atentamente lo que dice y observa cómo actúa. Don’t let what you wish for distract you from the actual situation.

Don’t try to hope for a certain resolution to avoid being disappointed. Before you start looking for any clues that they might still love you, pay attention to your ex’s behavior, listen to what they’re saying, and go with that.

4. Tener paciencia

It’s going to take a great deal of both time and patience to work out a solution to your problems that both of you will be happy with.
La ira se desvanece, pero los sentimientos siguen siendo frágiles en este punto.

It’s easy to say the wrong thing during this period. El mayor reto es evitar cometer errores. Be courteous, and don’t let your ego take charge. Apologize when it’s right. As long as the efforts are mutual, a solution can be found.

5. Demuestra que te importa

Cuando ambos hayáis decidido volver a estar juntos, debéis empezar por identificar qué os llevó a la ruptura en primer lugar y cómo evitar repetir los mismos errores.

Comprométete a demostrarle a tu ex que te importa. Necesita reconstruya su confianza para seguir adelante. La forma de empezar a hacerlo es mostrarse comprensivo. Escucha lo que tu ex quiera decirte y acepta sus sentimientos y deseos.

Cómo saber que mi ex quiere una relación

Now that we’ve stopped wondering things like, “is my ex over me or just angry?” we know where we stand. So, your ex isn’t angry anymore.

They’re ready to talk, and they’re saying they want to get back together.

Both of you went through hardships during the breakup, and now it’s time to decide whether you’re ready for a relationship.

We’ve learned how to recognize what’s going on, so now we come to the final question: How can I tell that my ex is over their anger and ready to volver juntos?

• They pay attention and listen

Ser sincero, estar presente y tener la mente abierta en la comunicación con otras personas son las claves para ser un buen oyente. Prestar atención a lo que hacen y dicen demuestra interés y cariño.

In a romantic relationship, where we’re especially invested in the other person, a lack of judgment and willingness to hear the other person are of utmost importance.

• They respect your boundaries

A healthy relationship is impossible if both partners don’t respect each other’s boundaries. Knowing when to pull back and when to show up come from communication and respect for what has been shared.

Límites son importantes en todas las relaciones, no sólo en las románticas. People let us know what matters to them and tell us how to treat them, and it’s important not to think that we know their lives better than them.

• They’re supportive and affectionate

Someone who loves you doesn’t hide their love but shows it through signs of affection, among other ways. Mimos, abrazandobesos, todos estos actos profundizan la intimidad y facilitan la conexión.

El amor también es evidente en el sentido de confianza en que la otra persona te apoyará siempre que la necesites. Si pueden, una pareja cariñosa estará ahí si la llamas, y puedes confiar en ella.

• They’re honest and vulnerable

Someone who wants a healthy relationship knows that there’s no intimacy unless you open up. To do so, there’s no escaping el sentimiento de vulnerabilidad que surge de compartirte con otra persona.

If they’re able to share their true feelings, fears, and hopes with you, you can be sure that they want to be with you.

• They make it clear they want to be in your life

Como hemos concluido antes, la señal más importante de que alguien siente algo por ti es que te haga saber, sin lugar a dudas, que te quiere en su vida.

We mentioned that anger and feelings of conflict show a person’s inner struggle. However, if they want to be in a loving relationship, they’ll make their warm feelings and their wish to share their life with you clear.

En conclusión

After a breakup, there’s a lot of heartache. Both people are confused, hurt, and emotional. For the partner who’s ready to get back together, the question, “Is my ex over me or just angry?” is a constant worry.

Sus acciones durante este delicado momento pueden cambiar el curso de su futura relación. Reconocer cómo se siente tu ex puede ayudarte a decidir cómo actuar. Hay diferentes caminos a seguir dependiendo de si tu ex te ha superado, sigue enfadado, o está listo para volver juntos.