Me dejó por otra: 16 consejos para curarte y seguir adelante
He left me for someone else… The pain this sentence provokes is more than familiar to me. That’s why you should trust me when I say that I completely understand how you feel right now.
De hecho, el año pasado yo estaba en tu lugar. Mi ex me dejó por otra y sentí que el mundo entero se derrumbaba bajo mis pies. On the first day, I felt hopeless and heartbroken… I felt completely ruined, emotionally and mentally.
However, I felt a gentle relief the next day – of course, after I cried my heart out. Every next day was easier, and here I am today. Una mujer curada, fuerte, con alta autoestima y una nueva pareja que me quiere y a la que quiero incondicionalmente.
I don’t want to make you think that it was an easy path. There was pain, a whole lot of it. There were wounds that left scars that are still visible even today.
However, the important thing is that you can heal and get over it. And we’ll get through that process together.
Me dejó por otra: 16 consejos para curarte
If you follow these tips carefully, I’m sure you’ll be able to let go of your ex-boyfriend. It’ll be a success story, just like mine was.
This time next year, you won’t even remember that he was ever part of your life. He’ll be deleted not only from your heart but your memory too.
1. Adelante, llora a mares
In the beginning, the only thing you’ll want to do is to cry. And you should, even if the people around you try to comfort you by telling you to stop crying and snap out of it.
Of course, you won’t cry forever, but now, you need time to process your emotions. Llorar es una forma sana de expresar emociones negativas como la tristeza o el dolor. Si evitas esta parte del duelo, podrías quedarte con una carga emocional que será un gran obstáculo para tu próxima relación.
2. Pon el mundo a tu alrededor en pausa y tómate un descanso
Your heart is aching, and your mental health isn’t in good condition either. That’s why you need to take some time out for yourself.
Quédate a solas con tus propios pensamientos y emociones. Piensa en todo lo que te ha pasado y empieza a pensar en cómo quieres superarlo.
Or, don’t think about absolutely anything – just enjoy the beautiful silence. Todo y todos los demás a tu alrededor pueden esperar.
3. Ponte en contacto con tu yo interior
Don’t run away or try to ignore your emotions, no matter what they are. They are yours, and they most certainly won’t go away if you start pretending they aren’t there.
The whole range of emotions you’re experiencing right now is completely normal for your situation. Además de aceptar esas emociones, tienes que centrarte en encontrar la mejor manera de afrontarlas.
4. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem
You might start thinking that he left you because you weren’t good enough or because the other woman is better than you. These kinds of thoughts can really damage your self-esteem or even ruin it completely.
He already broke your heart – you can’t allow him to break your autoestima también.
His problem is that he wasn’t able to recognize all your qualities, and I’m sure that one day, he’s going to regret it big time. Until then, you focus on improving your self-esteem because it’s going to play an important role in your healing process.
5. Te mereces algo mejor, y tienes que ser consciente de ello
¿Sabes lo que esto significa? Que te deje por otra chica es sólo una señal de que necesitas algo más, alguien más, alguien mucho mejor que él.
It’s a sign from the universe and God that you deserve amor verdadero. Que necesitas a alguien que te trate como te mereces, no como él te trataba cuando estabais juntos.
You need someone who’ll be so connected with you that he’ll never even think about hurting you or leaving you for someone else because he’ll feel your pain as his own. A veces, de las cosas malas surgen cosas buenas, y éste es uno de esos momentos de la vida.
6. Don’t allow this bad experience to define you
Don’t perder el sentido de uno mismo, and don’t let your pain or his betrayal define you. You need to be aware of who you are and never allow anyone to change that image you have of yourself.
On the contrary, you’ll never be ready to engage in a new relationship again. You’ll become a new person, a bitter, emotionally broken, and unhappy person.
7. La regla del no contacto es más poderosa de lo que crees.
I don’t get why so many women doubt the power of la regla del no contacto when it’s been proven so many times that it really does wonders.
Believe me, it’s the best and safest way to get over someone. Si el que te ha dejado decide ponerse en contacto contigo o cambia de opinión y quiere volver a ti, necesitas mantenerte fuerte y continuar con el no contacto.
La única manera de hacer el no-trabajo de contacto es ignorarle por completo, aunque lo que más te apetezca sea mandarle un mensaje o hablar con él. The no-contact rule will accelerate your healing and moving on, and it’ll show him that you’re done with him forever.
8. Intenta evitar también a tus amigos comunes durante un tiempo
I know this isn’t fair towards your mutual friends because they didn’t do anything to you, but this is when you need to think about yourself.
If they send you a text message asking how you are doing, of course, answer them. But, that’s it. Don’t engage in deeper communication with them because you’ll most certainly end up talking about your ex or your relationship, and that’s the last thing you need.
9. However, don’t isolate yourself completely
It’s okay if you need some time alone in the beginning. You’ll want to deal with the emotional rollercoaster you’re feeling right now alone.
Still, it’s not okay if you completely isolate yourself from your loved ones. Necesitas hablar y salir con otras personas.
Necesitas establecer tu propio grupo de apoyo y tener un círculo de personas con las que puedas compartir tus emociones. Otherwise, you’ll experience complete emotional burnout, which will make your healing process more complicated and difficult.
10. Don’t even think about comparing yourself to his new girlfriend
“He left me for someone else. Does that mean she’s better than me? Does that mean she gives him everything I didn’t know how to give him?”
No deberías pensar así NUNCA. Don’t ever compare yourself to other people, especially not his new girlfriend.
You can’t be like her because you’re unique and special. No one is better than you because you’re the best.
This is the only way you should be thinking. Otherwise, your self-esteem will be completely ruined, and you’ll never be able to pick yourself up again.
11. Cambia tu perspectiva sobre el amor y las relaciones románticas
Yes, love is the most important thing in the world, or at least, it should be for us all. However, it’s not THE only thing that hace una relación sana.
You can’t stay with someone just because you love them.
You need to redefine healthy relationships and true love all over again. As much as it’s important to love someone, it’s equally important for that love to be reciprocated, to be loved by that person in the same way and with the same intensity.
12. Conseguir el cierre de una vez por todas
Haz lo que necesites para encontrar un cierre. Este hombre tiene que ser dejado en su pasado lo antes posible, y usted necesita para encontrar el cierre de este capítulo de su vida.
However, once you decide to close that chapter and open a new one, you can’t return to it ever again. Reabrir las heridas del pasado y analizar de nuevo las posibles razones de su marcha sólo conseguirá que te quedes estancada en un mismo sitio el resto de tu vida.
13. Las relaciones de rebote sólo traen más dolor
You should go out, have fun, and meet new friends, but listen to my advice and don’t start dating again until you’re 100% healed.
Puede que pienses que lanzarte a una nueva relación puede ayudarte a superarlo más rápido, pero en realidad las cosas no funcionan así. You’ll only find yourself in a new situationship, but only this time, you’ll be angry at yourself for giving another man false hope and hurting his feelings.
Relacionado: ¿Los Rebotes Te Hacen Extrañar Más A Tu Ex? La verdad revelada
14. Aprende una lección de todo esto y sé agradecido
God didn’t send him into your life because He wanted to punish you for something. Lo envió a tu vida para enseñarte una lección sobre el verdadero amor y gente falsa.
Quería hacerte más fuerte a través de ese hombre, y lo consiguió. Even though you aren’t able to see that right now, one day, you’ll admire yourself for your strength and getting through all of this so bravely.
15. Deja que el karma se encargue de la venganza en tu lugar
¿Qué haces cuando te deja por otra? ¿Planeas vengarte o te centras en seguir adelante?
Definitivamente deberías céntrate en ti mismo and moving on. As long as you keep obsessing about your ex-boyfriend, you’ll never be able to heal your wounds.
Cree en el poder del karma y en sus principios. It’ll always find those who need to be punished and hurt them in the way they deserve.
You need to leave him behind, and believe me, one day, you’ll hear that karma didn’t go easy on him, but that day, it won’t bother you at all because he’ll be part of your long-forgotten past.
16. Don’t ever lose faith in true love!
Because one day, it’ll find you! One day the right person will enter your life, and they’ll never leave you, no matter what.
He’ll never hurt you, not intentionally and especially not in such an awful way. He’ll never mira a otra mujer because he’ll be aware that he has everything he needs in one woman already: in you.
Yes, you’re going through a heartbreaking and horrible experience just because you fell in love with someone. But remember, true love is always a two-way street, and if it’s not mutual, it’s not and can never be real.
¿Por qué los hombres se van con otra? 7 razones comunes
I’m sure you want to understand his reasons for leaving you for his new girl, and you think you won’t be able to move on until you understand that.
Well, I can’t tell you the precise reason your ex-partner decided to do that, but I’ll offer you some of the most common reasons guys do it in general. Perhaps it’ll help you realize the reason your coward of an ex betrayed you in this most painful and awful way.
1. El enamoramiento prevalece sobre los sentimientos románticos
El enamoramiento es algo muy serio, especialmente entre los hombres. Cuando un hombre se encapricha de una mujer, solo piensa en ella las 24 horas del día.
He becomes obsessed with her, and she immediately becomes his number-one priority in life. It’s like he forgets he has a life beside her.
Dejaría todo y a todos por ella, incluso a su pareja de toda la vida. Aunque todavía sienta algo por ella, su enamoramiento de la otra mujer es mucho más fuerte que esos sentimientos.
2. Relación atascada en la rutina del aburrimiento
Por desgracia, esto les ocurre a muchas parejas hoy en día. Su relación entra en un bache de aburrimiento, y ambos deciden hacer la vista gorda e ignorarlo, con la esperanza de que el problema se resuelva así.
Sin embargo, las cosas no funcionan así en las relaciones sentimentales. Problems don’t get solved by ignoring them but by working on finding a way to fix them.
When a partner realizes that the spark has gone, they’ll focus on finding it somewhere else. En la mayoría de los casos, esa pareja resulta ser el hombre, y abandona a su mujer en cuanto encuentra otra pareja potencial.
3. Sentirse poco respetado o valorado
To be honest, we all want to feel respected and appreciated by the person we’re dating. If we don’t feel this, no matter how strong our feelings are, we just won’t feel happy with that person.
En otras palabras, ésta también puede ser una razón por la que un hombre decida buscar la felicidad con otra mujer. Of course, I won’t justify it, and I’d never do that, but it’s a fact that both partners should be blamed when something like this happens in their relationship.
La mujer, por no apreciar a su hombre, y el hombre, por elegir una salida tan fácil y cobarde de esa relación infeliz.
4. Falta de intimidad
I’m sure this is the most common reason men leave their partners for someone else. If there is falta de intimidad en una relación...la conexión emocional también está dañada, y ningún hombre podrá soportar esto por mucho tiempo.
To be honest, a lack of intimacy isn’t healthy and will definitely make the relationship toxic sooner or later. Also, this issue doesn’t just happen – there is always a good reason why couples stop being intimate.
5. Satisfacer sus necesidades físicas o emocionales
If his current romantic relationship doesn’t fulfill his emotional or physical needs, he’ll try to find someone else who’ll be able to fulfill them for him.
If you have personal issues that resulted in you neglecting him, it’s possible that it made him look for another woman.
Men aren’t as patient as we are, and if they don’t feel good at a particular place, they won’t stay for too long but start looking for other options. Still, even if this is the case, you shouldn’t blame yourself for him leaving you for another woman.
When you truly love someone, you can’t be with someone else. No por ellos, sino por tu corazón y los intensos sentimientos que compartes por esa persona.
6. Mejor oportunidad
Espero que todos seamos conscientes de que algunos hombres son oportunistas y sólo entablan una relación romántica con una mujer de la que obtendrán algún tipo de beneficio.
Algunos hombres buscan constantemente mujeres que ganen más dinero que ellos y que sean más estables económicamente que ellos. And it’s really no wonder when a guy like that leaves his partner for another woman.
He’s done it because he sees the other girl as a better opportunity for him. A man like that isn’t capable of love because he doesn’t even know what that word means.
He uses it too often but is never honest when he talks about his feelings. He’s el tipo de hombre que toda mujer debe evitar y mantente alejado.
7. Crisis de mediana edad
Al igual que nosotras pasamos por la menopausia y otros cambios a lo largo de los años, los hombres también atraviesan sus propios cambios. Casi todos los hombres pasarán por la crisis de la mediana edad, y la forma de superarla solo depende de su salud mental y su estabilidad.
Desgraciadamente, algunos chicos se deprimen y se ponen muy ansiosos en este periodo de su vida y empiezan a desear un gran cambio de vida.
Y ese cambio se produce sobre todo en su vida amorosa. Deciden dejar a su pareja de toda la vida y buscar una nueva pareja.
They think it’ll help them refresh their lives and make them feel younger. Only later do they discover the huge delusion they were in all that time and become aware that they’ve made the biggest mistake of their lives.
¿Cómo hacer que un chico se arrepienta de haberte perdido?
En primer lugar, necesitas darte tiempo para centrarte en tu propia curación y así poder tomar el control de la situación.
Secondly, forget about texting his new girl or getting revenge on her because she didn’t do anything to you. He’s the one who betrayed you, and he’s the only one to be blamed.
Also, I would advise forgetting about jumping into a new relationship thinking that it’ll Pon celosa a tu ex pareja or that you’ll hurt him that way. No, you’ll only hurt yourself more by doing that and prolong the healing process.
Preste atención a su salud emocional y mental. Deshazte de las emociones y pensamientos negativos de los que están llenos tu corazón y tu mente.
Devuélvete esa hermosa sonrisa a la cara que una vez tuviste. Rodéate de buena gente y buenas vibraciones y sé feliz. Sé feliz para fastidiarle a él y a todos los demás que querían verte con el corazón roto.
Prove to them all that you’re stronger than they could ever imagine. Make them realize you only need yourself to feel loved and disfruta de tu vida al máximo.
¿Cuánto tiempo se tarda en superar que te dejen por otro?
La línea temporal del duelo es diferente para cada persona. Algunas mujeres necesitan más tiempo para superar a un ex al que todavía quieren, y las hay que simplemente deciden tachar a esa persona de su lista de seres queridos y dejarla en el pasado para siempre.
Most relationship experts agree that it takes about 6–18 months to superar una ex-novia/novio que te ha dejado por otra persona. However, I still think that it’s unique to every person.
It also depends on the time you’ve spent together and how serious your relationship was. It’s perfectly normal that you’ll get over someone you’ve only dated for a couple of days or months sooner than someone you were in a long-term relationship with.
El tiempo de duelo y curación es diferente para cada mujer, ¡y debemos respetarlo!
The important thing is that no woman should speed up the moving on phase if they haven’t yet healed.
¿Vuelven los chicos después de dejarte por otra?
It’s possible, and it happens in some cases. However, when an ex vuelve, it’s probably because he didn’t get what he was expecting from the other person. It’s because he realizes the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
However, the question every single girl out there should ask herself is whether she really wants her ex back. Does she really want him to come back even though it’s obvious he doesn’t love her? Because if he did, he would never have left in the first place.
Guys do come back begging for a second chance, but it’s rarely because they become aware of their feelings. They come back for their own selfish needs, ones that the other woman didn’t fulfil.
Si tu ex quiere reconciliarse y volver contigo, tienes que pensarlo bien antes de decidirte a perdonarle y darle una segunda oportunidad.
Sólo recuerda, si realmente es la persona adecuada para ti, nunca te pondría en esta situación. Nunca te dejaría, y nunca JAMÁS te traicionaría y te rompería el corazón.
En pocas palabras
Trust me, I get how you feel right now because I was once you. I also believed I’d never be able to recover from such a betrayal and that I’d be stuck in all that grief and sadness forever, but it wasn’t the case.
Me las arreglé para sanar de mi angustia y seguir adelante. Volví a enamorarme de mí misma y entablé una nueva relación con un hombre que se enamoró de cada parte de mí y me enseñó cómo debe ser el amor verdadero.
My ex left me for someone else, but he didn’t manage to kill me that way. On the contrary, he only made me stronger and definitely way more emotionally intelligent.
I’m thankful to him in a way, and I’m so thankful to God for teaching me this lesson. 🙏I know you still hope your ex-boyfriend will come back eventually, but I’m sure you’ll change your opinion after a while and make the right decision – la decisión de enamorarte de ti mismo y hacer de la curación y la superación una prioridad.
