He left me for someone else… The pain this sentence provokes is more than familiar to me. That’s why you should trust me when I say that I completely understand how you feel right now.
In fact, last year I was in your place. My ex left me for someone else, and I felt like the whole world was crumbling right beneath my feet. On the first day, I felt hopeless and heartbroken… I felt completely ruined, emotionally and mentally.
However, I felt a gentle relief the next day – of course, after I cried my heart out. Every next day was easier, and here I am today. A healed, strong woman with high self-esteem and a new partner who loves me and whom I love unconditionally.
I don’t want to make you think that it was an easy path. There was pain, a whole lot of it. There were wounds that left scars that are still visible even today.
However, the important thing is that you can heal and get over it. And we’ll get through that process together.
He Left Me For Someone Else: 16 Healing Tips
If you follow these tips carefully, I’m sure you’ll be able to let go of your ex-boyfriend. It’ll be a success story, just like mine was.
This time next year, you won’t even remember that he was ever part of your life. He’ll be deleted not only from your heart but your memory too.
1. Go ahead, cry your heart out
In the beginning, the only thing you’ll want to do is to cry. And you should, even if the people around you try to comfort you by telling you to stop crying and snap out of it.
Of course, you won’t cry forever, but now, you need time to process your emotions. Crying is a healthy way of expressing negative emotions like sadness or grief. If you avoid this part of grieving, you might be left with an emotional burden that will be a huge obstacle for your next relationship.
2. Put the world around you on pause and take a break
Your heart is aching, and your mental health isn’t in good condition either. That’s why you need to take some time out for yourself.
Stay alone with your own thoughts and emotions. Think about everything that happened to you and start thinking about how you want to move on from this.
Or, don’t think about absolutely anything – just enjoy the beautiful silence. Everything and everyone else around you can wait.
3. Get in touch with your inner self
Don’t run away or try to ignore your emotions, no matter what they are. They are yours, and they most certainly won’t go away if you start pretending they aren’t there.
The whole range of emotions you’re experiencing right now is completely normal for your situation. Also, besides accepting those emotions, you need to focus on finding the best way to deal with them.
4. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem
You might start thinking that he left you because you weren’t good enough or because the other woman is better than you. These kinds of thoughts can really damage your self-esteem or even ruin it completely.
He already broke your heart – you can’t allow him to break your self-esteem too.
His problem is that he wasn’t able to recognize all your qualities, and I’m sure that one day, he’s going to regret it big time. Until then, you focus on improving your self-esteem because it’s going to play an important role in your healing process.
5. You deserve better, and you need to be aware of it
You know what this means? Him leaving you for another girl is just a sign you need something else, someone else, someone way better than him.
It’s a sign from the universe and God that you deserve true love. That you need someone who will treat you the way you deserve, not the way he treated you when you were together.
You need someone who’ll be so connected with you that he’ll never even think about hurting you or leaving you for someone else because he’ll feel your pain as his own. Sometimes, good things happen from bad things, and this is one of those moments in life.
6. Don’t allow this bad experience to define you
Don’t lose your sense of self, and don’t let your pain or his betrayal define you. You need to be aware of who you are and never allow anyone to change that image you have of yourself.
On the contrary, you’ll never be ready to engage in a new relationship again. You’ll become a new person, a bitter, emotionally broken, and unhappy person.
7. The no-contact rule is more powerful than you think!
I don’t get why so many women doubt the power of the no-contact rule when it’s been proven so many times that it really does wonders.
Believe me, it’s the best and safest way to get over someone. If your dumper decides to reach out to you or changes his mind and wants to come back to you, you need to stay strong and continue with the no-contact.
The only way to make the no-contact work is to ignore him completely, even when texting or talking to him is what you want most. The no-contact rule will accelerate your healing and moving on, and it’ll show him that you’re done with him forever.
8. Try to avoid your mutual friends for a while too
I know this isn’t fair towards your mutual friends because they didn’t do anything to you, but this is when you need to think about yourself.
If they send you a text message asking how you are doing, of course, answer them. But, that’s it. Don’t engage in deeper communication with them because you’ll most certainly end up talking about your ex or your relationship, and that’s the last thing you need.
9. However, don’t isolate yourself completely
It’s okay if you need some time alone in the beginning. You’ll want to deal with the emotional rollercoaster you’re feeling right now alone.
Still, it’s not okay if you completely isolate yourself from your loved ones. You need to talk and hang out with other people.
You need to establish your own support group and have a circle of people you can share your emotions with. Otherwise, you’ll experience complete emotional burnout, which will make your healing process more complicated and difficult.
10. Don’t even think about comparing yourself to his new girlfriend
“He left me for someone else. Does that mean she’s better than me? Does that mean she gives him everything I didn’t know how to give him?”
You should never EVER think this way. Don’t ever compare yourself to other people, especially not his new girlfriend.
You can’t be like her because you’re unique and special. No one is better than you because you’re the best.
This is the only way you should be thinking. Otherwise, your self-esteem will be completely ruined, and you’ll never be able to pick yourself up again.
11. Change your perspective on love and romantic relationships
Yes, love is the most important thing in the world, or at least, it should be for us all. However, it’s not THE only thing that makes a healthy relationship.
You can’t stay with someone just because you love them.
You need to redefine healthy relationships and true love all over again. As much as it’s important to love someone, it’s equally important for that love to be reciprocated, to be loved by that person in the same way and with the same intensity.
12. Get closure once and for all
Do whatever you need to do to find closure. This man needs to be left in your past ASAP, and you need to find closure for this chapter of your life.
However, once you decide to close that chapter and open a new one, you can’t return to it ever again. Reopening past wounds and looking through the potential reasons for his leaving all over again will only result in you being stuck in one place for the rest of your life.
13. Rebound relationships only bring more pain
You should go out, have fun, and meet new friends, but listen to my advice and don’t start dating again until you’re 100% healed.
You may think that jumping into a new relationship may help you get over him faster, but that is not how things work in reality. You’ll only find yourself in a new situationship, but only this time, you’ll be angry at yourself for giving another man false hope and hurting his feelings.
14. Learn a lesson out of it all and be grateful
God didn’t send him into your life because He wanted to punish you for something. He sent him into your life to teach you a lesson about true love and fake people.
He wanted to make you stronger through that man, and He managed to do that. Even though you aren’t able to see that right now, one day, you’ll admire yourself for your strength and getting through all of this so bravely.
15. Let karma do the revenge part instead of you
What do you do when he leaves you for someone else? Do you plot revenge or focus on moving forward?
You should most definitely focus on yourself and moving on. As long as you keep obsessing about your ex-boyfriend, you’ll never be able to heal your wounds.
Believe in the power of karma and its principles. It’ll always find those who need to be punished and hurt them in the way they deserve.
You need to leave him behind, and believe me, one day, you’ll hear that karma didn’t go easy on him, but that day, it won’t bother you at all because he’ll be part of your long-forgotten past.
16. Don’t ever lose faith in true love!
Because one day, it’ll find you! One day the right person will enter your life, and they’ll never leave you, no matter what.
He’ll never hurt you, not intentionally and especially not in such an awful way. He’ll never look at another woman because he’ll be aware that he has everything he needs in one woman already: in you.
Yes, you’re going through a heartbreaking and horrible experience just because you fell in love with someone. But remember, true love is always a two-way street, and if it’s not mutual, it’s not and can never be real.
Why Do Men Leave For Someone Else? 7 Common Reasons
I’m sure you want to understand his reasons for leaving you for his new girl, and you think you won’t be able to move on until you understand that.
Well, I can’t tell you the precise reason your ex-partner decided to do that, but I’ll offer you some of the most common reasons guys do it in general. Perhaps it’ll help you realize the reason your coward of an ex betrayed you in this most painful and awful way.
1. Infatuation prevails over romantic feelings
Infatuation is a very serious thing, especially with men. When a man becomes infatuated with a woman, she becomes all he thinks about 24/7.
He becomes obsessed with her, and she immediately becomes his number-one priority in life. It’s like he forgets he has a life beside her.
He would leave everything and anyone for her, even his long-term partner. Even if he still has some feelings for her, his infatuation with the other woman becomes way stronger than those feelings.
2. Relationship stuck in the boredom rut
Unfortunately, this happens to so many couples nowadays. Their relationship simply hits a boredom rut, and both partners decide to turn a blind eye to it and ignore it, hoping that the problem will be solved that way.
However, that is not how things work in romantic relationships. Problems don’t get solved by ignoring them but by working on finding a way to fix them.
When a partner realizes that the spark has gone, they’ll focus on finding it somewhere else. In most cases, that partner happens to be the man, and he leaves his woman as soon as he finds another potential partner.
3. Feeling disrespected or unappreciated
To be honest, we all want to feel respected and appreciated by the person we’re dating. If we don’t feel this, no matter how strong our feelings are, we just won’t feel happy with that person.
In other words, this can also be a reason why a man decides to look for happiness with another woman. Of course, I won’t justify it, and I’d never do that, but it’s a fact that both partners should be blamed when something like this happens in their relationship.
The woman, for not appreciating her man, and the man, for choosing such an easy and cowardly way out of that unhappy relationship.
4. Lack of intimacy
I’m sure this is the most common reason men leave their partners for someone else. If there is no intimacy in a relationship, the emotional connection is damaged, too, and no man will be able to endure this for long.
To be honest, a lack of intimacy isn’t healthy and will definitely make the relationship toxic sooner or later. Also, this issue doesn’t just happen – there is always a good reason why couples stop being intimate.
5. Fulfilling their physical or emotional needs
If his current romantic relationship doesn’t fulfill his emotional or physical needs, he’ll try to find someone else who’ll be able to fulfill them for him.
If you have personal issues that resulted in you neglecting him, it’s possible that it made him look for another woman.
Men aren’t as patient as we are, and if they don’t feel good at a particular place, they won’t stay for too long but start looking for other options. Still, even if this is the case, you shouldn’t blame yourself for him leaving you for another woman.
When you truly love someone, you can’t be with someone else. Not because of them but because of your heart and the intense feelings you share for that person.
6. Better opportunity
I hope we are all aware that some guys are opportunists and only engage in a romantic relationship with a woman they will get some form of benefit from.
Some men constantly look for women who make more money than they do and who are more financially stable than they are. And it’s really no wonder when a guy like that leaves his partner for another woman.
He’s done it because he sees the other girl as a better opportunity for him. A man like that isn’t capable of love because he doesn’t even know what that word means.
He uses it too often but is never honest when he talks about his feelings. He’s the type of man every woman should avoid and stay away from.
7. Midlife crisis
Just like we go through menopause and other changes over the years, men also go through their own changes. Almost every man will go through a midlife crisis, and how they overcome it only depends on their mental health and stability.
Unfortunately, some guys become very depressed and anxious in this period of their lives and start craving a big life change.
And that change mostly happens in their love lives. They decide to leave their long-term partner and look for a new partner.
They think it’ll help them refresh their lives and make them feel younger. Only later do they discover the huge delusion they were in all that time and become aware that they’ve made the biggest mistake of their lives.
How Do You Make A Guy Regret Losing You?
First of all, you need to give yourself time to focus on your own healing so you can take control of the situation.
Secondly, forget about texting his new girl or getting revenge on her because she didn’t do anything to you. He’s the one who betrayed you, and he’s the only one to be blamed.
Also, I would advise forgetting about jumping into a new relationship thinking that it’ll make your ex-partner jealous or that you’ll hurt him that way. No, you’ll only hurt yourself more by doing that and prolong the healing process.
Pay attention to your emotional and mental health. Get rid of the negative emotions and thoughts your heart and mind are currently filled with.
Bring back that beautiful smile on your face you once had. Surround yourself with good people and good vibes and be happy. Be happy to spite him and all the others who wanted to see you heartbroken.
Prove to them all that you’re stronger than they could ever imagine. Make them realize you only need yourself to feel loved and enjoy your life to the fullest.
How Long Does It Take To Get Over Being Left For Someone Else?
The grieving timeline is different for every person. Some women need more time to get over an ex they still love, and there are those who simply decide to cross that person off their list of loved ones and leave them in the past forever.
Most relationship experts agree that it takes about 6–18 months to get over an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend who has left you for another person. However, I still think that it’s unique to every person.
It also depends on the time you’ve spent together and how serious your relationship was. It’s perfectly normal that you’ll get over someone you’ve only dated for a couple of days or months sooner than someone you were in a long-term relationship with.
The grieving and healing time is different for every woman, and we need to respect that!
The important thing is that no woman should speed up the moving on phase if they haven’t yet healed.
Do Guys Come Back After Leaving You For Someone Else?
It’s possible, and it happens in some cases. However, when an ex comes back, it’s probably because he didn’t get what he was expecting from the other person. It’s because he realizes the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
However, the question every single girl out there should ask herself is whether she really wants her ex back. Does she really want him to come back even though it’s obvious he doesn’t love her? Because if he did, he would never have left in the first place.
Guys do come back begging for a second chance, but it’s rarely because they become aware of their feelings. They come back for their own selfish needs, ones that the other woman didn’t fulfil.
If your ex wants to reconcile and get back together with you, you need to think it through before you actually decide to forgive him and give him a second chance.
Just remember, if he really is the right person for you, he would never put you in this position. He would never leave, and he would never EVER betray you and break your heart.
In A Nutshell
Trust me, I get how you feel right now because I was once you. I also believed I’d never be able to recover from such a betrayal and that I’d be stuck in all that grief and sadness forever, but it wasn’t the case.
I managed to heal from my heartbreak and move on. I fell in love with myself again and engaged in a new relationship with a man who fell in love with every single piece of me and taught me what true love should look like.
My ex left me for someone else, but he didn’t manage to kill me that way. On the contrary, he only made me stronger and definitely way more emotionally intelligent.
I’m thankful to him in a way, and I’m so thankful to God for teaching me this lesson. 🙏I know you still hope your ex-boyfriend will come back eventually, but I’m sure you’ll change your opinion after a while and make the right decision – the decision to fall in love with yourself and make healing and moving on a priority!