The happiest relationships are those where both partners feel like they have an equal say and communicate about what they want from the relationship. Sometimes, these partners themselves are where the problem lies.
Remember, if something is holding you back, like when an insecure partner drains a relationship and doesn’t let us feel at ease, it might also have a toll on our personal and professional life.
This is why I am here to help you spot this toxic relationship cycle and tell you what the best remedies are in this case. I’ll also provide you with some ways your partner might be draining your mental health and your relationship together with other relationship advice.
Why An Insecure Partner Drains A Relationship
Insecure partners are often those most likely to have a negative impact on romantic relationships. If you see signs of insecurity, try talking to your partner. They might be insecure about their appearance, or they might be insecure about the relationship.
There are many reasons an insecure partner may cause a relationship to suffer, and all of them are red flags. Some of these reasons include insecurity in themselves, their partner, or their relationship.
The insecurity in your loved one can come from anything, and it can manifest itself in many different ways. An insecure partner who constantly worries about their partner’s feelings, thoughts, and actions can be exhausting for the other person.
This can lead to a draining relationship for both partners and make it harder for them to feel like they are in a healthy relationship and not a toxic relationship.
In this case, the insecure partner might be jealous of their partner’s previous relationships or worry that they are not good enough for their partner. You might feel like you are walking on eggshells.
Your partner does not intend to be an insecure person and drain your relationship. Their self-esteem is low, and their well-being might be in question. I would recommend helping your significant other with their mental health.
11 Ways An Insecure Partner Drains A Relationship
Here are some of the most common ways an insecure partner drains a relationship:
1. No trust
We all know love is complicated. No trust in any relationship (especially an insecure relationship) is a huge issue. There are many reasons for lack of trust in a relationship, but it can be difficult to overcome this issue.
What your partner might be doing is overfocusing on your whereabouts and actions. To build trust in a relationship, both parties must work together and try to understand where the other person is coming from.
2. Confined
It is common for people to feel confined in toxic relationships or insecure couples. They might start feeling like their partner has made them a prisoner in their own life.
In fact, you feel like you can’t be yourself and that your partner’s mood depends on your daily actions. The partner might be controlling and make all the decisions for the other person. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, anger, and resentment.
3. Not deserving love
The partner might feel unworthy of love because they are overly focused on their own flaws and can’t see anything good about themselves. They might think that their flaws are too great for them to be loved by someone else.
You know this is not true, and this is how they might be draining your relationship. You want to be with someone who makes you happy, not worried.
4. No intimacy
Unconditional love means owning all our partner’s flaws and accepting them. But once you stop being intimate with them, this might be hard. Of course, I’m not just talking about sex.
There are many ways in which couples can be intimate without having sex. This includes talking, kissing, cuddling, and touching each other in non-sexual ways.
5. Defensive
Sometimes, being defensive is something they do when they are afraid of losing you. But once it gets out of hand, it can become ugly.
Where does this defensiveness come from? It originates from their feeling that they are not good enough. The first way is to try and understand where your partner is coming from. They might be feeling vulnerable because they have been hurt in the past.
They also might be scared about the future. Try to empathize with them and see the situation from their point of view.
6. Constant incidents
You might be starting to think they don’t love you. Many people are not aware that they are in a toxic relationship. One red flag for these relationships is constantly having breakdowns or incidents where they follow you or sneak around.
They don’t realize the damage they are doing to themselves and their partner. It is essential to be aware of your partner’s behavior and how it affects you.
7. No acceptance
Being accepted and loved is a compliment everyone wants to hear. You don’t hear it from your partner. The constant disapproval of your life makes you question your relationship what them.
They need to accept you for who you are and not constantly make them feel bad for your past mistakes. In a relationship, it is important to have understanding.
When there is a disagreement in the relationship, both partners should be open to talking about their feelings and problems and not be condescending about it.
8. No more happiness
There are many ways to be happy in a relationship, such as feeling loved by your partner or feeling connected to them. For example, if you need more space and independence from your partner than they can provide for you, this could make you unhappy.
In your relationship, there is no more happiness. Remember, your relationship should not define your happiness, and if your partner wants to stay mad, let them. Go and enjoy your day alone.
9. Relationship balance is off
You once had a perfectly balanced relationship with your partner. These days are now over. You feel like everything you do together needs an extra push, and your relationship is draining.
The problems might also include a lack of physical contact and quality time spent together, decreased intimacy, and an unbalanced relationship.
10. You are feeling stifled
You are not happy in your relationship, but you are too afraid to say anything. You are terrified of the consequences of ending a relationship that you have invested so much time and energy into.
You constantly feel that every move you make will affect your partner’s mood. This is why you feel you shouldn’t do anything.
You feel like a failure for being unhappy in your relationship, but it’s not your fault. Your partner may be insecure, or maybe they just don’t have the qualities you need in a partner.
11. Dependency
When two people are in a relationship, they depend on each other for many things, such as emotional support, companionship, and even financial support. This emotional dependence can be good or bad, depending on the person’s perspective.
In your case, dependence is bad because one partner is more dependent than the other, and this imbalance causes resentment, leading to you break up.
What To Do About An Insecure Partner
The most important thing you can do for a partner who feels insecure is to reassure them and let them know that you love them. It may also be helpful for you to talk about your insecurities with each other so that they can better understand what’s going on with both of you.
There are many reasons a partner may feel insecure. And the main thing to remember is that it is not your fault! Here are some of the things you can do when an insecure partner drains a relationship:
1. Try to make it work
The first step to having a healthy relationship is to ensure that your partner feels loved and secure. This is the foundation for any type of relationship. If you are in a romantic relationship, it’s important to show your partner that they are valued, respected, and admired.
This is why the first thing to do to help an insecure partner is to try and make your relationship work. One way to show you want this is by not judging them or making them feel like they don’t matter. Of course, you can always talk about it.
2. Show you are faithful
If the reason for their insecurity is social media or low self-esteem, show them who you are. Showing that you are faithful to your partner means that you don’t cheat or lie to them. Being faithful means always coming back to them.
How can you show that you’re constantly faithful and not cheating? Try reassuring them, talking to them about how you feel, and, most importantly, focusing on your deeds. Don’t flirt with other people or be avoidant with them.
3. Talk about it
If you’ve tried walking the walk of faithfulness, it is time to talk with your partner. If you don’t know how to do this, you might want to try couples counseling or go to a psychotherapist.
Couples therapy is the process of helping couples resolve their conflicts, improve their communication skills, and understand each other better. The aim is to help couples learn how to work on the problems they are experiencing.
4. Give up
Last but definitely not least is the best way to exit this spiral of dependency and mistrust. If you’ve truly had enough of your insecure partner and your toxic relationship, it is time to focus on your well-being.
I also recommend this if your insecure partner drains the relationship and it becomes something that drains you or harms you physically. These are signs it is time to leave. Remember, if you’re not happy, it’s time to leave.
Can Insecurity Destroy A Relationship?
Insecurity can be caused by various things, such as low self-esteem, past experiences, or even the way family members may have raised them. Regardless of the root cause, insecurity can have a devastating effect on relationships.
Yes, insecurity can lead to many relationship problems, such as jealousy and control. When insecurity is present in a relationship, it can lead to the other partner feeling unsupported and unappreciated.
Insecurity, when left unchecked, can destroy any relationship and the romantic partner’s self-esteem. If one partner is constantly worried that they are not good enough or not loved enough, they will likely act in ways that make their partner feel insecure as well.
This pattern of relationship insecurity can quickly lead to negativity, trust issues, and resentment. If you are struggling with insecurity in your relationship, it’s important to take steps to address these feelings and find ways to move forward with your partner.
Stop The Problems
First of all, focus on yourself and your needs before worrying about your partner. You need some emotional self-care and being blunt with what you want.
Remember, if your current relationship is not meeting your emotional needs and you don’t feel a secure attachment style, it is time to leave.
If you still want to give this romantic relationship a shot, try a psychotherapist and focus on your relationship’s emotional problems.
Hopefully, this article of mine has helped you understand an insecure attachment style and answered all the questions you had about how an insecure partner drains a relationship.