LDRs are slightly more challenging than typical relationships, but when two people honestly love each other, neither distance nor any other obstacle can stand in the way of their love.
However, today we’ll talk about long-distance relationship cheating because it is something most LDR couples are afraid of. Some people think that distance allows them to hide the evidence of their betrayal easier, but the truth is, sooner or later, the truth always comes out.
There are many red flags of cheating in long-distance relationships that you should pay attention to. Below, I’ll introduce you to these potential red flags and add some helpful tips that may help you save your relationship.
15 Subtle Signs Of Long-Distance Relationship Cheating
The question is, how do you know if your long-distance partner is cheating on you? Sometimes, it’s really not easy to know, but pay attention to the signs below, and if you recognize them, it’s time to say goodbye to your long-distance lover.
1. There are very clear changes in their behavior or communication patterns
If you notice any sudden and strange changes in your partner’s behavior, you should pay attention to them. Trust me, there is always a reason someone suddenly changes.
Of course, cheating doesn’t have to be the only reason, but it is definitely one of the reasons. That’s why you need to question it all carefully.
The best thing would be to ask your partner directly and speak to them about it. If they deny it or tell you that you’re only imagining it, then you should find another way to find out the truth.
2. They don’t have time for you anymore
Does it feel like you’ve started spending less and less time together? They’re always too busy for you, and whenever you want to visit them, they have work, or they use some other excuse to politely reject you.
It’s like everything and everyone else has suddenly become more important than you, and just a short while ago, you were their priority.
Maybe they found someone else and made them a priority. Perhaps someone else is the real reason they no longer have time for you. However, these are just assumptions – you need to find out the truth, and you need to do it fast.
3. They aren’t as interested in including in your life as they were before
Both of you were 100% included in each other’s lives, and that’s how it should be in a healthy relationship. The moment one of you stops being interested in the other’s life is the moment you should know your relationship is coming to an end.
Unfortunately, your partner has probably lost interest in you and your life because they’ve found someone new they’re interested in. But, that still doesn’t mean you should despair.
Even if that’s true, you should let them go. It’ll hurt, but at least you’ll know that they aren’t your soulmate and that your other half is still somewhere out there, waiting for you to find them.
4. You feel like you don’t know them anymore
You probably know your partner very well, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship. You can basically foresee every step they’re going to take.
If your partner starts behaving strangely, it’s a good reason to start doubting them. There is something going on, and for the sake of your relationship, you should get to the bottom of it as soon as possible.
Be careful, though. This doesn’t have to mean that your partner is cheating on you. Maybe they’re going through a difficult time, and it’s simply affecting them. Talk to them because communicating with them is the only way to find out the truth.
5. Things don’t quite add up in their stories
While you talk on social media or via phone calls, and they talk about their day, work, and nights out, you notice inconsistencies in their stories.
Trust me, no one is such a good liar that you can’t figure out when they’re lying and when they’re telling the truth. You can just look at their body language, and you will see the real answer.
Don’t keep these things to yourself, and don’t let them poison your mind. Confront your partner about what you’ve figured out and ask them to explain.
If your LD partner has changed their relationship status on social media or tried to hide it, it’s a clear sign they’re hiding something. Or, to be more precise, they’re trying to hide you from someone.
After all, you wouldn’t change your status if everything is okay with your partner. If you notice this kind of change on their social media, you should confront them about it ASAP.
Don’t give them time to think of an excuse or fake story just to manipulate you. If they’ve changed their status to single, you should give them the honor of making them single again.
7. They’ve made new friends all of a sudden
There is nothing wrong with a partner meeting new people and building new friendships. However, it’s a bit strange if they meet new friends and start spending all their time with them.
It’s even worse if you haven’t had the chance to meet them because you don’t know them. Every time your partner tells you they’re going out with their new friends, you’ll start doubting them, and your trust issues will surface.
8. They always come to visit you and avoid you visiting them
Before, you went to visit them every now and then, and they also came to visit you. You probably took turns or had some kind of schedule you both stuck to.
If that has changed, or if your partner comes to visit you and somehow always avoids you visiting them, it’s obvious they’re hiding something.
My relationship advice is to pay them a surprise visit. Don’t even mention you’re planning to visit them – just go and do it and find out whether they’re really hiding something from you.
9. They often cancel on you
If they start canceling on you, you should see it as a clear indicator that something is wrong. After all, you’re dating at a distance, and you should be excited to see each other every time.
Of course, if they have a good reason for canceling on you, you shouldn’t distrust them. However, I don’t think they have a good reason to flake on you every time you plan to see one another.
10. They start going out more often
It shouldn’t normally be weird if your partner likes to go out or hang out with their friends. However, it’s a huge red flag if they’ve just started doing it.
I hope it’s purely because they want to spend some time with their friends, but I think there is another reason behind it. They’ve probably met someone new, and they go out because they hope to see that person again.
I don’t want to be a pessimist, but as I said, it could be because they want to hang out with their friends, but you should be careful either way. Try to find out who they are hanging out with and pay attention to their social media accounts because it might tell you a lot about their nights out.
11. They get angry every time you ask them if there is something wrong
You sense something is off, but you can’t tell what it is, and you don’t have any evidence that might show you that your partner is indeed cheating on you.
You try to talk about it with them, but they block every attempt you make. Every time you ask them to talk about their behavior or the gut feeling you have, they get angry.
They ask you to stop accusing them because they haven’t done anything wrong, and they behave like you really hurt them. It’s just a way to manipulate you into feeling bad about it and silence you and your suspicions.
12. It’s like picking fights is their favorite thing to do now
Does your LD partner pick fights with you often? If they do, they’re probably trying to find a reason to break up with you.
They don’t have a real reason to end your relationship, so they’re trying to create a fake one. Besides your partner being unfaithful, they’re also a coward because they don’t have the guts to look you in the eye and tell you the truth.
Maybe they think the truth will hurt you, but the truth is always better than a lie, and it always hurts less in the end. I hope, for both of your sakes, they’ll understand this too.
13. When was the last time they told you, ‘I love you’?
Just think about it. Try to remember the last time they confessed their love for you or told you they missed you. If you can’t remember, or if it was a long time ago, it’s probably because their feelings have changed.
If they’ve really cheated on you, maybe they feel it’s wrong to talk about love when they’ve done something so bad. If that’s the case, then at least you know they have integrity.
14. They stop talking about your future together
If you are in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably discussed your future. You see them in your future and vice versa.
However, if that changes, if those conversations suddenly stop, and you notice that they’ve made new plans that don’t include you, you can be sure that something is off.
If someone kicks you out of their future, it’s probably because someone else has taken your place. Try to plan a holiday or vacation together and see what their answer will be. If they refuse immediately or say they can’t make plans like this right now, it’s a clear indicator that they’re hiding something.
15. They admit they need some space
In the end, they’ll ask you for some space or admit that something is going on and that they need time to figure things out.
If that happens, you shouldn’t immediately despair. Give them time and hope that everything will be okay.
If they come back to you after some time, admit they’ve been unfaithful to you, and break up with you, you should accept their decision and work on moving on immediately.
And if they come back to you saying they were confused or their feelings were mixed up, don’t immediately think they’ve cheated on you, but be very careful. It’s definitely odd, and they probably have a good reason for their mixed feelings.
9 Ways To Deal With Cheating In Long-Distance Relationships
Now, what do you think? Is it possible to move forward after there’s been cheating in a long-distance relationship? Of course, it is. Both partners will need to put effort into making things work, but they can give their relationship a second chance and move past it.
1. Try to reconnect by communicating often
Many couples think that it’s hard to reconnect in an online relationship, but that’s not true. There are phone and video calls, and you can literally communicate through social media 24/7. Of course, that’s not healthy either, but I’m just trying to paint a clear picture.
You need to have regular check-ins every day. That way, you’ll feel like you’re both included in each other’s lives. You’ll feel like you’re getting to know one another again, and that’s the whole point of reconnecting.
2. Spell out clearly WHY it happened
The fact is, there is always a reason people cheat. The other person maybe did nothing wrong, and perhaps it was all up to the cheater.
However, there has to be a reason and to really move on, you’ll need to find that reason. Once you figure it out and state it loud and clear, you should work on improving it together.
You’ll never manage to make your relationship work again if only one side is putting in all the effort. Both sides need to be equally included in the process, and you’ll succeed in saving your LDR.
3. Blame shifting will only make things worse
Once you decide to give your relationship another chance, you need to forget about the blame game. The cheater is always the person to blame, but that’s not important right now.
All that is important and all you should pay attention to is fixing your relationship. Your long-distance boyfriend cheated on you, and you decided to forgive him. So then do so and leave his lame act in the past.
Work on strengthening your long-distance love, and know that blame shifting will only ruin it completely. Focus on rebuilding trust and forget about things that won’t lead you anywhere.
4. Deal with your trust issues in the right way
You’ve been cheated on by someone you love, so it’s normal to be left with trust issues. I understand, especially if it was a long-term relationship.
You shouldn’t suppress your trust issues and behave as if they don’t exist. Because they do, and if you don’t deal with them properly, they will never allow you to continue your relationship the way you want to.
If you’ve decided to give your partner another chance, you’re also saying that you are willing to work on trusting them again. If they try hard to regain your trust, don’t ignore it, and don’t let your trust issues ruin your relationship… Don’t let them cost you losing the person you love.
5. Move forward by claiming honesty
Once you decide to leave it all behind, you should make a plan to help you fix your relationship. Of course, the first item in that plan needs to be honesty.
If you aren’t honest with one another, you’ll never manage to rebuild trust. Your trust issues will keep resurfacing, and you can forget about making your relationship work again.
Demand honesty from your partner and let them know they can come to you about absolutely anything. The first time you catch them in a lie, you should rethink your decision about giving them a second chance.
I’m sure you’re riding a real emotional rollercoaster right now. No matter what anyone else says, it’s not easy to cope with being cheated on.
Even if you decide to save your relationship, you’ll be left with trust issues, many questions, overwhelming feelings, and other things that will keep you awake at night.
You should share your thoughts and emotions with someone but choose that person carefully. It needs to be your best friend or a family member… It’s important that person is someone you trust.
If too many people find out about your relationship issues, it’ll be even harder for you to work them out.
7. The cheater must earn their forgiveness
No matter how much you love your partner and think you can’t live without them, you shouldn’t forgive them easily. You must make the cheater earn your forgiveness by proving they never plan to repeat the same mistake.
If they try hard to earn your forgiveness, it’s also a clear indicator they really love you. They just made a mistake, a huge, stupid mistake that almost cost them losing the person they truly love.
8. Forget about seeking revenge
Your partner’s betrayal has hurt you and probably made you angry. I’m sure you’ve thought about seeking revenge at one point, and maybe you’re still thinking about it, right?
Don’t do it. Try to calm down, and don’t do anything in the heat of the moment because be sure that you’ll regret it immediately.
You should forget about revenge, especially if you’ve decided to give your relationship another chance. Your revenge would take away any chance your relationship has of moving forward.
9. Seek professional help
If you’re afraid that your relationship is too damaged for you to fix alone, you should let a relationship expert help you. They’ll go through your problems and help you find the right solutions.
You should also think about couples counseling or any other type of professional help. Whatever might help you save your relationship is worth doing.
If professional help doesn’t help you maintain your relationship, maybe it shouldn’t be fixed. Maybe that person isn’t the right one for you, and you should think about letting them go once and for all.
Is Cheating Common In Long-Distance Relationships?
Surprisingly or not, it’s as common as in ‘normal’ relationships. Just because the couple can’t see each other often doesn’t mean they’ll cheat on one another whenever they get the chance.
Couples who don’t start their relationship on the right foundations will cheat on each other no matter the physical distance between them.
On the other hand, if there is trust and love between them, they won’t betray one another no matter what. It’s a completely false assumption that long-distance couples cheat on each other more often, and unfortunately, that’s why most people are afraid of getting into an LDR.
Can A Man Stay Faithful In A Long-Distance Relationship?
Everyone can stay faithful, no matter the consequences of their relationship. It’s just about the person’s character and the strength of the couple’s love.
If a man doesn’t want to stay loyal to a woman, he’ll cheat on her whether she is far away or by his side 24/7. If he wants to cheat, he’ll always find a way to do so.
Most LD cheating partners cheat because of the lack of physical intimacy in their relationship. However, there are so many ways they can ‘replace’ the lack of physical contact in their relationship.
The bottom line is that if a man truly loves a woman, no matter the kilometers between them, he’ll stay loyal to her until the very end. Everything else is a lie.
When Should You Give Up On A Long-Distance Relationship?
Neither I nor anyone else can tell you when you should give up on your LDR. You’re the only person who can know for sure when it’s time to break up with your LD partner.
However, don’t waste too much of your precious time on a relationship that clearly doesn’t have a future. Pay attention to your gut feeling and try to hear it out. If it’s telling you to break it off, do it.
If you suspect your partner is cheating on you or doing something behind your back, you should focus on finding proof to confirm that. If it really is true, you should leave them and move on from that relationship ASAP.
Remember, everything can be fixed and replaced – except love. If your significant other has stopped loving you or vice versa, it’s the clearest sign you should give up on your LDR.
In Conclusion
To be honest, long-distance relationship cheating isn’t a topic I eagerly speak about. I hate cheating and every kind of betrayal, but cheating in an LDR is the worst, in my opinion.
People usually decide to cheat on their long-distance partner because they think the other person will never find it out. However, that is delusional because lies always have a way of getting out.
Having an affair and betraying your long-distance partner is the worst thing you can do. They give you their trust, and you play with it in the worst possible way.
So, if you are in an LDR, pay attention to these cheating red flags and don’t allow anyone to make a fool out of you. And if you’re thinking about cheating on your LD partner, think twice because that may be the mistake of your life, and you may not get a second chance.
