You’re in a hot new relationship, and everything reminds you of your lover. You could go on and on about the cutest person in the world the whole day.
Your partner becomes the center of your attention, and you want to let the whole world know.
Some couples take this literally. They tell everyone they know, and their Instagram and Facebook turn into nothing but endless pictures with their significant other.
If you’re a more private person, you probably prefer low-key relationships. This means that, while you don’t deny that you’re in a relationship, you only let those important to you know about it and keep the details to yourself.
On the other side of the coin, some people don’t tell anyone at all. On top of that, if they’re quick to deny everything when asked about the person they’re dating, there’s a high possibility that their relationship is a secret affair.
Read in more detail below to see if a low-key relationship is for you.
What Are Low-Key Relationships?
Low-key relationships are essentially the same thing as private relationships – you’re not hiding that you and your partner are dating, but the details of your relationship you divulge are limited.
Being in a low-key relationship doesn’t mean that no one knows about it.
Being selective about how much and with whom you share your private matters protects your relationship from complications.
Sharing important stuff with your family members and close friends isn’t the same as posting every little thing on social media.
Think of it in terms of PDA: you might hug your partner in front of your best friend, but making out is probably a little too much. Similarly, you choose what you share and what’s for just the two of you.
What Are The Benefits Of Keeping Your Relationship Low-Key?
Keeping your relationship low-key gives you time to develop a connection with your partner without other people getting involved. You can take things slow and have your relationship develop at your own pace.
When you live your life without the whole world knowing exactly what you get up to, privacy keeps away unnecessary meddling that could be avoided. Good or bad, whatever you share, someone is always going to have something to say.
While you’re in the throes of infatuation, it’s the last thing on your mind, but couples break up. People in low-key relationships have an easier time dealing with those stressful moments than those who always keep everyone up to date on every detail.
11 Reasons To Keep Your Relationship Low-Key
I’ll admit that cute couple pics make my heart swell. Seeing people in love is touching.
However, comparing your own relationship to those online can be discouraging. Keep in mind that there’s no way that what you see is 100% unfiltered truth.
Bodies, relationships, even locations – it’s all edited, airbrushed, and handpicked. Real-life and real relationships are more than picture-perfect romances.
When you keep some things to yourself, you can spend quality time with your partner instead of worrying about what others might think and say.
Here are some reasons why low-key relationships are easier and more successful.
1. You can take things slow
If you’re still testing the waters with your partner, you may want to keep from changing your Facebook relationship status until you know for sure.
There’s no rule that says you have to announce your relationship while you’re uncertain.
Early on in a relationship, you’re still exploring whether or not this person is for you. While you’re still dating, you want fun, relaxed companionship, not something you have to report on.
When you let everyone know from day one, there will undoubtedly be expectations that might put unnecessary pressure on your relationship and hurt it.
Your mom telling you how good-looking your date is and the pictures you posted getting a lot of likes might push you into being with someone you weren’t sure you liked.
2. You take your time to connect
Low-key relationships let you create a connection and start building a foundation of what’s between you and your partner.
Intimacy takes time, and until you and your partner know where you stand, it’s too early to introduce each other to your parents or announce your love online.
When it comes to relationships, not everyone moves at the same pace. Maybe you’re slow to open up. Maybe you were hurt in the past and don’t want to rush things. Maybe you connected instantly and are now working on deepening your connection.
Whichever the case, social media and grand announcements are unnecessary at this point in the relationship.
3. Only you and your partner have a say in it
Your private matters are nobody’s business.
Decisions you need to make or fights that pop up between you and your partner concern only the two of you. You should be the only people whose opinion counts when you’re looking to solve your problems and meet each other halfway.
Some people feel entitled to put their two cents in every conversation they hear. Other people’s opinions and unsolicited relationship advice can be confusing and intrusive.
When other people get involved, it inevitably gets messy. You can take their opinions into account and hate them when it doesn’t work out, or ignore them, and then they get mad. Either way, nobody wins.
4. You don’t have to keep up appearances
Your relationship might be getting thousands of likes on Facebook, but what happens when the camera is off? Is what you show only an image, or is it real?
A public relationship can be dangerous because the validation you get can be addictive. You’re only human and crave acceptance like everyone else, but this might not be the right way to get it.
What happens when the fire goes out? Do you stay together for likes or risk getting laughed at when you stop posting or delete old pics?
Instead of wasting your efforts on other people, it’s better to focus on making your actual relationship work.
Long-term fulfillment is much more rewarding than the hit of dopamine you get when someone likes your post.
5. You can enjoy each other’s company without having to prove it
The strength of your relationship isn’t determined by how many people know about it. Keeping all your friends in the loop can get tedious, annoying, and start feeling performative.
You don’t need anyone’s input telling you how to live your life. Connecting with your partner is something to enjoy and not something that requires you to document it.
The best part of low-key relationships is that you don’t focus on Instagram stories but on genuinely enjoying the time you spend with your partner.
If you only worry about your next post, you might be missing out on a chance to have an experience you’ll treasure as a precious memory forever.
6. There’s less pressure
Seeing people in love is cute, but if your audience gets used to always seeing you happy, it puts pressure on you and your partner to behave in a certain way.
Sometimes both of you just wake up cranky and snap at each other. If your families are used to you being all lovey-dovey around them, there’s pressure on you to play nice, or otherwise, it will raise a commotion, and they will want to know every detail.
When you’re more private, people are aware that no one but you and your partner know the whole context of your relationship and don’t question when something is out of the ordinary.
The more people get involved, the more complicated it gets.
7. Respecting your partner
When you fall in love, everything is shiny and bright. But what happens when the initial rush wears off, and your relationship moves from magical romance towards real life?
You might want to air your dirty laundry to your BFF, but keep in mind that it doesn’t only involve you. Your partner is the other part of your relationship, and by keeping your private stuff private, you show them respect.
Obviously, you’re not going to completely exclude your loved ones from your personal life, but some things don’t concern them. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.
As the saying goes, some things should be between you, me, and the wall. You show your partner respect by respecting their privacy as well.
8. Your arguments aren’t public
All couples argue. A perfect relationship doesn’t exist. We’re all human, and even the most loving and devoted partners have their differences and moments when it’s hard to see things the same way.
If you’re too stressed to post, and your followers keep telling you to update or ask invasive questions about your relationship and whether it’s working out, it’s just going to add more pressure to an already challenging situation.
Families can get especially involved and offer unwanted solutions to problems. Some people have difficulty determining what they should and shouldn’t poke their noses into.
If it’s a close family member – especially someone from your partner’s side – it can create a really precarious situation where you want to tell them to butt out but can’t.
9. You keep unwanted attention out
One word: exes.
You may have an unpleasant ex or an ex whose feelings you want to spare. Maybe your significant other used to date a knockout you’d rather keep away from them. Either way, you don’t want any exes involved in your current relationship.
The first time an ex leaves a nasty comment on your post, you might get an urge to make your account private, but it’s better to keep your whole relationship private.
In low-key relationships, there’s less chance for exes to show up and intrude as you’re keeping things under wraps. Your exes should only have access to accounts where you post memes and comment on whatever’s trending worldwide.
10. People can get jealous
Not everyone who likes your pictures actually likes them. Some people are just waiting for cracks in the façade.
Whether you post a select few moments or share everything, not everyone is going to be happy about you.
There are people who are only looking for flaws because they base their self-esteem on comparing themselves to others. Your happiness makes them jealous, and your troubles give them validation.
It’s sad, but such people can make your life miserable because that’s how they feel.
11. Breakups are easier
Let’s face it, relationships end.
Nobody thinks about breakups when they’re happily in love. If it does come to it, and your relationship doesn’t work out, when everyone knows about it, recovery can be very difficult.
After you split up with your partner and know it’s final, all you want is to do is put them out of your mind, count your losses, and move on.
In low-key relationships, this can be easier. If you only share your problems with a select few, the people you trust and can confide in, you can find comfort and help instead of having to justify what happened to a large number of people.
What Is The Difference Between A Secret And A Low-Key Relationship?
Low-key relationships are different from secret relationships. When you’re low-key, you’re keeping your relationship private, but in a secret relationship, you’re hiding your partner.
Low-key doesn’t mean on the down-low.
A secret relationship can be something both people have decided on, or it can be one-sided. If you and your partner are knowingly hiding your relationship, it’s probably something both of you have chosen.
On the other hand, if you suspect that your partner is keeping you a secret without telling you, you’re probably worried.
There can be legitimate reasons for keeping things to yourself, but if they’re keeping you a secret, the reason is more likely less than admirable.
Here are some warning signs that you’re unintentionally in a secret relationship.
• They lie about their relationship status
If someone asks the person you’re involved with if they’re dating, and you hear them say they’re not, it must come as a shock. Are they keeping your relationship secret?
Why would someone pretend to be single?
Whether they’re keeping their options open or whatever the reason, denying that they’re in a relationship with you means that they don’t appreciate you.
In my opinion, this is cause for goodbye. You deserve better.
• Ignores you in public
When you and the person you’re dating happen to run into each other in public, and they panic, it’s a bad sign.
If they’re with another person and pretend not to know you or don’t acknowledge that you’re in a relationship, the chances are that this person is a liar.
This is especially true if you weren’t expecting such behavior. If you thought you had a significant other, and it turns out that they aren’t willing to acknowledge it, this person doesn’t have your best interests in mind.
• They hide you from friends and family
Low-key relationships might be private, but unless you’re hiding something, you’re going to tell your family and closest friends that you’re dating.
You probably told your best friend that you have someone. If you learn that they have never even heard of you, what is the reason?
If they never answer phone calls from their family when they’re with you, they’re likely hiding you from their loved ones. And that’s taking privacy too far.
• You never go out
So you never go out. You might understand that someone is busy, you are as well. But if they say they can’t go on a date even on Valentine’s Day, are they really invested?
You might be feeling like you’re in a long-distance relationship with how rarely you see each other. If they never take you out, and you only meet up at home or other designated locations, there’s a high probability this person is hiding you.
This isn’t something you should accept.
• Has no interest in your life
When the person you’re dating doesn’t show interest in what’s going on in your life, they’re not looking to build a relationship with you.
To connect with your partner, you need to learn about who they are and what they like. If someone you consider your partner isn’t putting effort into getting to know you, they don’t intend on making you a part of their life. If you’re looking for a real relationship, this person is not good for you.
How to know when it’s time to move on
If this kind of relationship isn’t something you’ve agreed to, there’s a chance that the person you’re seeing doesn’t have the best intentions with regard to your relationship. In other words, they’re not worthy of your time and feelings.
The best course of action is to move on. I understand that it’s a hard decision to make, but in the long run, you’re sparing yourself the inevitable heartache that will follow if things continue.
A better use of your time is to surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you, people who are already in your life, and others who are just around the corner ready to share their lives with you.
10 Low-Key Relationship Quotes
1. “I try not to think about my public life. I focus on my private life, and that’s just the best way to live.” – Angelina Jolie
2. “It’s called a private life for a reason – it’s mine, and it’s special and sacred.“ – Lili Reinhart
3. “The secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it.” – Joan Collins
4. “What people do in their private lives is their business and shouldn’t be anybody else’s business.” – Rob Lowe
5. “After quarreling and reconciliation, I need privacy – to be alone with you, to set this hubbub in order.“ – Virginia Woolf
6. “The more of your private life you put into the public domain, the smaller your private life becomes.” – Kevin McCloud
7. “I have no plans to go public if I get into a relationship. I will do my best to safeguard the privacy of the person I love and respect her feelings.” – Song Joong-ki
8. “I don’t like to talk about personal things. And by keeping it private, you have a better shot at a healthy relationship. I learned at a young age that there are certain things you just don’t talk about.” – Sandra Bullock
9. “I’ve really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn’t want to divulge things that were too private.” – Jonathan Ames
10.“I share a lot of details, but 98 percent of my life is still private.” – Stephen Amell
Don’t confuse low-key relationships with secret affairs.
One is a private relationship that helps you cultivate and protect your connection with your partner – the other is a scenario where one or both people are hiding that they’re together.
You might be the type of person who likes it when a lot of people participate in your life. There’s nothing wrong with liking the attention you get, but be careful to keep your relationship genuine.
At the end of the day, the kind of relationship you choose can influence its outcome.
A very public relationship can quickly turn forced and staged. Deciding to stay low-key can help develop your relationship into a healthy one based on a true connection between partners.
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