I’m not an actual relationship expert but I’ve helped so many people and couples throughout my life that I can really be called so. One of the most common issues I come across with my ‘clients’ is ‘my crush has a boyfriend’.
And it’s really a heart-devastating situation to be loving someone who may never be able to reciprocate it to you because they’re in love with someone else.
Unfortunately, we all know that we can’t give orders to our hearts. It simply wants what it wants and no matter how hard we try, we can’t change it.
However, this doesn’t have to be a lost cause. Maybe your girl will break up with her partner and maybe you’ll manage to win her over. To make it happen, continue reading my tips below.
My Crush Has A Boyfriend: 11 Things To Do
You’re in a very difficult position and I completely understand you. However, I’ll help you become a part of her life and with a little bit of luck, you’ll win her over for good.
1. Don’t make any direct moves
In the beginning, you need to be low-key. Don’t flirt with her, don’t give her signs that you’re into her, don’t talk to others about her… Simply, don’t do anything that might reveal your feelings towards her.
You need to have respect for her relationship status and for her partner. You can’t just interfere in someone’s relationship. Imagine how you would feel if someone does the same to you.
You can be around her but try to keep your cool. Of course, be your best self but don’t make any sudden or direct moves like flirting or seducing her. You’ll have to arm yourself with patience indeed.
2. Find out more about her relationship
Before you actually move on to winning her over, you should focus on finding out more information about her current relationship. Is it a long-term relationship? Do they have any serious plans for the future?
If they’ve been dating ever since high school, of course, it’ll be more difficult to win her over because their love is probably very strong.
However, if it’s not a long-term relationship, maybe she doesn‘t have strong emotions for him and you can manage to make her fall in love with you.
Is it a healthy relationship or do they fight a lot? Is their connection strong or are they breaking up every now and then? All this information can help you win her over faster.
Also, you should try to learn more about your ‘competition’. Ask around about the guy she’s dating and maybe you’ll find out some things that might help you later.
3. You’re allowed to hang out with her
Of course, even though you have to be low-key at the beginning, you can still hang out with her. Although, you’ll need to keep it on a friendly basis.
The first time your crush starts doubting your feelings, she might distance herself from you for the sake of her relationship. She’ll see you as a danger to their relationship and she might cut off all communication with you.
That’s why you should only be friends with her and nothing else. And you know how they say, the most successful and happy couples started out as friends.
4. Try to get to know her better
Hanging out with her will allow you to meet her on a deeper level. Who knows, maybe with time you create a strong bond and she falls in love with you.
Don’t just question her about her life, talk about yourself and your own life, too. Open up to her – perhaps that will encourage her to open up to you.
Also, as you get to know her better you may realize that your crush isn’t the woman you thought she was and maybe you won’t look at her the same again. Perhaps, it’ll make you realize that you’ve just fallen in love with the illusion you had of her.
5. Pay attention to her body language
The next step is to try to figure out if your crush likes you too. The best way to do that is to pay close attention to her body language when she’s around you.
If she becomes too nervous, if her voice is shaking while you two talk, if she plays with her hair while you’re standing next to her, if she keeps eye contact with you for a moment then looks away and smiles….
All those are the body language signs she ’s into you, too.
When you recognize those signs she likes you, you can consider it a green light to start winning her over. Then you can start flirting and seducing her in a subtle way.
6. Develop a close relationship with her best friends
If you manage to get close to her best friends, it’ll make things so much easier for you. By becoming friends with her friends, you’ll find out more things about her and maybe ask her friends to help you win her over.
Her friends will have to choose between you and her current boyfriends, and she’ll need to do the same at some moment. If you put effort into establishing a great relationship with them, I’m sure they’ll choose you and encourage their friend to do the same.
So, you need to be the best version of yourself and prove to them that you’re a better choice for their friend than her current partner.
Of course, they care about their friend and all they want is a person who will treat her in the most special and best possible way.
7. Don’t go around talking about your feelings
Like I said, you need to be low-key at the beginning. This also means that you shouldn’t tell anyone that you’re into her.
When it comes to such delicate things, you really need to be careful whom you’re confiding in. Of course, you can talk with your best friend just to let it all out and soothe your soul but you need to be sure that they’re indeed your best friend, the person your secret is safe with.
Why am I telling you this? Simply because that info may come into the wrong hands or she might find it out and that could scare her away.
So, before you make sure that she’s into you, don’t talk about her and your feelings with anyone except your closest friend.
8. And DON’T even think about separating her from her boyfriend
You simply can’t do that; no matter how much you like her. It’s a very bad thing to do and just imagine how you would feel if someone does it to you.
After all, you don’t even know if she loves that man. You will only end up hurting her and I’m sure that’s the last thing you want to do.
Also, don’t forget that karma is a bitch. If you do this to them right now, someone will do the same to you in the future. When you fall in love with someone, the third person will come and separate you, which will make you go through a real heartbreak.
9. Flirt and try to win her over in a subtle way
When you see signs she likes you too, you should start flirting with her. That will also give her a sign that you are interested in her.
However, don’t be too pushy. If you notice at any moment that your flirting is making her uncomfortable, you should stop.
I know that a lot of people don‘t quite know how to flirt in a subtle way. If you‘re one of those people and you want to know how to be a pro at flirting, you should check out this article; How To Subtly Flirt Like A Pro: A Comprehensive Guide
You also need to give signs you’re into her in real life, too. However, at the beginning, it would be better to throw some over social media only.
If she likes you, she’ll get your message. On the other hand, if she’s in love with her boyfriend, she’ll consider you’re throwing those hints for another girl.
11. Remember, it’s her decision with whom she’ll be
The truth is, you can’t force anything. She’s the only one who has the right to decide with whom she wants to be.
No matter how much you like her, if your crush chooses someone else, you need to accept it and respect her decision.
You can’t control her wishes and emotions. Just hope that she’ll choose the man she honestly loves because that would be the best and most fair thing for all three of you.
How Do You Get Over Someone That Has A Boyfriend?
Falling in love is easy. On the other hand, falling out of love sounds like a mission impossible to some people. Here, I’m going to show you that it’s possible indeed and you’ll learn how to get over your crush who is already taken by someone else.
• Accept the truth
Not being chosen hurts more than going through a breakup but that pain can and will be overcome one day. You’ll move on from it and forget that it ever happened.
However, that won’t be possible if you keep sticking to it. Come to terms with the fact that you can never have her and focus on moving forward with your life.
I know it’s easier said than done but you really need to have faith that you’ll be able to let go of it one day because I’m sure you will.
• Don’t allow her to friend zone you
If you allow her to put you in the friend zone, you may never forget her. You’ll never have her in the way you want and that will be breaking your heart every single day.
If your crush chooses the other guy, you need to cut her from your life completely. You aren’t aware of how heartbreaking it is to be friends with someone you love in a romantic way.
• Confide in your good friend
Of course, you won’t share it with your co-worker or a person you know for only a few days. You can open up and confide your emotions only in your best friend.
That one person you know that will keep your secret forever if it’s needed. You need to open up to someone otherwise it will eat you up inside. However, don’t share it with too many people because it may complicate things in the strongest possible way.
• Focus on your emotional and mental health
Right now, I’m sure your emotional well-being is a complete mess, which also has bad consequences on your mental health.
In order to move on, you need to focus on improving your general well-being. Don’t blame yourself, don’t blame God or anyone else… Look at it as a huge lesson and try to rejoice at the (so much better) things that are coming your way.
• Remember that time heals
You need to back off before you completely break your heart into a million pieces. It’ll still hurt but at least you’ll know that you’ve given everything you could and it simply wasn’t enough.
And do you know why? It’s because God had another person for you on His mind. Your soulmate is still somewhere out there and some day, you’ll meet her.
Right now, all you need to do is to keep your faith in God and in time. Time will heal your wounds and time will bring you your forever person. Just focus on moving forward and don’t ever, ever lose hope that you’ll meet true love one day.
When Should You Give Up On A Crush?
You should give up on your crush the moment you realize that all hope is lost. When you realize that there is really no chance that you’ll ever be together.
You can’t waste your entire life on someone who will never be with you. Actually, you shouldn’t waste a minute of your time on a person like that.
If they’re already taken by someone else, just come to terms with the fact that you’ve come late and let it go.
The comforting thing you should know is that it only means that person never was your soulmate because if they were, you would meet at the right time. That’s for sure.
You deserve to be loved and you’re worthy of someone who’ll be able to give you the most honest and precious kind of love. And trust me, one day, that person will come.
In Conclusion
Having a crush on someone who is in a relationship can be heartbreaking. Even though you’re absolutely convinced that it’s the right person, you have no other choice but to accept the unfortunate fact that it’s the wrong time.
I still feel for each and every single one of you with the same ‘my crush has a boyfriend’ issue. However, just because the girl you like is currently taken, it doesn’t mean it can’t change in the future.
If you really like her, you shouldn’t lose hope that one day she might be yours. Trust the power of time and never stop hoping that you’ll be together someday in the future.
