Flirting is a game that not everyone knows how to play. If you’re clueless about how to subtly flirt, you’ve come to the right place.
I promise you one thing: if you read on and apply these tips and tricks, you’ll become a pro at flirting. The guy or girl of your dreams won’t know what hit them once they see these moves.
How Can I Be Mildly Flirty?
If you want to become a pro at flirting, remember to do it as subtly as possible. Instead of approaching the other person and telling them how much you like them, lock eyes with them, touch them accidentally, or send them a flirty text or a flirty joke every now and then.
The trick is to be as relaxed and as mysterious as possible. Being too obvious or too tense will ruin the magic.
Don’t overthink your every move, and just go with the flow. If you’re clueless about what to do next, just listen to your gut: it always has all the answers.
How To Subtly Flirt One-On-One Using These 20 Incredible Tips
Here’s ALL you need to know about how to subtly flirt with a girl (or a guy) without blowing it in the first ten seconds. Follow these steps and become a flirting master!
1. Don’t throw yourself at their feet
Being too obvious can be a huge turn-off. Remember that most people love the game that flirting brings along.
The last thing you want is for the person to think of you as needy or boring. Make them think.
Do you really like them? Do you want to be friends? Or, are you just playing?
Being obvious and corny is just too easy. If you throw yourself at their feet, they’ll start taking you for granted and you’ll lose your charm.
2. It’s all in the eye contact
Prolonged eye contact will never go out of style. You know how they say: “Eyes are windows to the soul.”
Even if you’re too ashamed to express your feelings verbally, you always let your eyes to do the talking on your behalf.
There are two ways to use eye contact when you’re trying to figure out how to subtly flirt.
The first trick is to look the other person deeply in the eyes without looking away. That will give them a clear hint.
But for starters, maybe you should pretend to be a little shy. Try looking at them and then look away. Wait for their reaction – will they continue staring or will they look away as well?
3. …but also the body language
It doesn’t take a relationship expert to tell you how important your body language is. To be exact, it’s the key to subtle flirting.
When you’re interested in someone, your body language will be the first one to reveal your intentions.
To start with, keep your legs and arms uncrossed while talking to this person. This way, you’re showing them that they’re welcome into your life.
Another good idea is to lick or bite your lip while looking them straight in the eyes. By doing this, you’re showing the other person that you’re a pro in this flirting game.
Do your best to always be as close to them as possible. Your physical presence is crucial!
4. Self-esteem goes a long way
There is nothing sexier than self-confidence, I promise you that. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should act like an egomaniac or as if you were better than anyone else.
The key is to find the perfect balance. Be yourself but don’t act superior.
Also, you know what you want and you’re not afraid to get it. You have enough self-esteem to believe in your qualities and to know that you can have the guy or girl of your dreams if you just put enough effort into winning them over.
Nevertheless, being cocky is never acceptable. If you appear to be unapproachable, you’ll end this flirting game before it begins.
5. Show genuine interest
Playing hard to get is always a turn-on. But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show interest in the other person.
They have to see that they have your undivided attention. You’re not obsessed with them, but you want to get to know them on a deeper level.
Remember: asking thought-provoking questions always beats small talk.
They’ll challenge the person’s views and perspectives on things, plus it’ll make you seem interesting and invested. It will also show that you respect them as a person.
6. Stay close but be mindful of their personal space
Here is another situation where balance is crucial.
On one hand, you want to be close to this person. You want their body to get used to yours, and you want the chemistry to explode.
But, you have to be careful not to invade their personal space in the process. Not everyone is comfortable with too much physical touch.
Pay attention to their reaction. Do they like you that near? Are they the ones approaching you even closer?
If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track.
On the other hand, if their body language is showing discomfort, you have to step back a little. You’re invading their personal space. Let them come to you – they’ll do it when they’re relaxed enough.
7. Good manners never go out of style
I don’t care what century we’re in: good manners are always fashionable.
Of course, this is the way you should behave at all times, not just when you’re on a date. But, just in case you forgot, let me remind you of some dating etiquette.
First of all, introduce yourself politely when making the first move on someone.
Never be rude to the staff. Show them the respect they deserve and I promise you your date will admire you more.
If you’re a man, walk the woman to the front door. Don’t push any physical contact unless she is ready.
If you’re a woman, show your man that you appreciate the fact that he’s a gentleman.
8. Don’t forget to smile
If you’re wondering how to subtly flirt, keep in mind that your facial expression is crucial here. Yes, I’m talking about that genuine smile that appears on your face whenever this person enters the room.
I know that it’s impossible for you to be in a good mood all the time. But please, leave your crankiness at home while you’re trying to attract this person.
Make sure you have a wide smile every time they see you. Also, remember to laugh at their jokes. Yes, even when they’re not funny.
Of course, I’m not talking about a hysterical laugh. Just show them that you appreciate their effort, and that their lines are finding a way to your heart.
9. Treat them respectfully
Respect is mandatory in every relationship, but it’s especially important when you’re just getting to know someone new. You’re still not familiar with their triggers, you don’t know if they’re into dark humor, and you still haven’t learned what might insult them.
So, the best thing is to play it safe. Forget about the low-blow or dirty jokes. They’ll have no way of knowing it’s just your way of breaking the ice and they might find them inappropriate.
There’ll come a time for your (inappropriately) funny side to shine. Until then, keep it PG.
No, this doesn’t mean that you should be uptight. They’re not your boss or a teacher – it’s okay to relax.
10. …but also tease them in a playful manner
How do you tease without crossing the line? Simple. Know your audience!
If you’ve only just met, then perhaps too much physical contact all at once would be too much.
No problem! Tease them with words. After all, that’s what the art of flirting is all about.
Crack a joke and start smiling afterward. This will get easier once you get to know the other person better.
Then, you’ll know what makes them laugh and what they find appropriate.
11. Be yourself – everyone else is taken
No, this is not just an empty phrase – it is the only truth. We all have our set of flaws, and there is absolutely no point in pretending to be perfect just to capture someone’s attention.
Trust me: being yourself always works. Besides, if you pretend to be someone you’re not, they’ll get right through you, sooner or later.
The last thing you want is for the person you like to think of you as a liar.
No, you don’t have to reveal each one of your negative personality traits right at the beginning of this flirtation. But, you can show them that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
Pretending to like the same things they do or lying about your past is your number one mistake.
12. Leave an air of mystery
Never put all your cards on the table at once. Let the girl or guy you like figure you out for themselves. That’s the cornerstone of knowing how to subtly flirt.
Uncovering layers of someone’s personality is a game everyone likes to play. Trust me: they’ll have loads of fun trying to figure you out.
And, in the meantime? Well, I’m sure they’ll fall deeply in love with you.
13. Compliment away!
Did you know that compliments trigger the same area in the brain as when you receive money? So, if you’ve got something nice to say, don’t keep it to yourself.
People will always remember your kind words and actions. You just might make their entire day with a sincere compliment that they’ll never see coming (but appreciate a ton).
14. Follow their cues
How do you subtly flirt with a great chance of having success? Simple! By following their cues and acting accordingly.
Being brave enough to take over initiative is always welcome. However, if you’re not sure about what to do next, simply follow their lead.
Pay attention to the non-verbal and verbal signals they’re sending you. No, you don’t have to be a mind reader to do this successfully.
It will be enough to follow your gut. A good tip is to forget about your desires and projections.
Just because you wish for the other person to be into you doesn’t mean they actually are. Also, just because you’re insecure and assume that they don’t like you doesn’t have to necessarily be the truth.
This is real life, not your imagination, and you have to be realistic about the way they behave.
A great piece of advice I once heard is to read the room. See what your audience wants, or in this case – your potential date.
15. Physical touch
If you’re wondering how to subtly flirt, I have a great tip for you: use the power of physical touch.
But please, don’t take this as an excuse to be overly physical, and don’t get any ideas. Remember: you always have to respect the other person’s boundaries and personal space.
What I’m talking about is the art of subtle touch.
Start by barely touching their hand (as if by accident) and wait for their reaction. Will they smile or will they move their hand further away from you? Take it as a hint and listen to what they’re trying to tell you.
When you’re walking past them, lock eyes with your crush, elegantly brush your hand over their back, and move along inconspicuously.
It should never be forced, nor should you be obvious about it. The whole idea behind this guide is how to subtly flirt.
The worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it. Don’t ask them if they liked your touch or if you’re allowed to do it again – that will ruin all the magic.
16. Be unpredictable
If you’re trying to upgrade things to the next level, you always have to leave the other person wondering.
If you become predictable, they’ll soon lose interest. If they learn what kind of text message to expect from you, texting will become boring.
The same goes with talking in person. If they already know all the answers to the flirty questions they ask you, there will be no tension or excitement left.
And, what’s the magic in that? I’m sorry, but being overly predictable makes you a lousy flirter.
So instead, think outside the box. Surprise them with your every word or move.
Please keep in mind that this unpredictability is only acceptable and attractive right now; at the beginning of your flirtation.
Later on, as things get more serious, you have to show them some levels of consistency. This person has to see that you’re reliable besides being fun.
17. Crack a silly joke
Everyone wants to be with the person who makes them laugh. Therefore, it’s your job to turn into this person’s source of positive energy.
Work on your sense of humor– it will help you a lot during this flirtation. I promise you: even if this woman or man doesn’t like you at first, they’ll go crazy about you once they see you know how to make them laugh.
Here is a pro tip that every relationship expert will give you: If you’re not sure about a certain joke, tell it to your friends or family! That way, you’ll know whether your joke blows or if it’s ready to wow that girl or guy you like.
Also, have in mind to be spontaneous at all times. Trust me: if you’re obviously trying to force a mediocre joke in the middle of a conversation, it’s going to fall flat.
Be sure that the timing is right and that the joke is light.
Of course, don’t forget to figure out the other person’s sense of humor. Not everyone is into the same jokes!
18. DON’T get too tipsy
I know that having a few shots helps you relax and it chases away the tension. But, is it always a good idea, especially if you’re not a skillful drinker?
I don’t think so. Getting drunk or even tipsy on the first date is a major red flag.
Not only will you leave a bad first impression, but it’s almost guaranteed that the person won’t want to see you again.
Please, be mindful of how much you have to drink. Stick to the booze you can handle, and don’t risk showing them your drunk alter ego.
Or, just don’t drink at all; it’s way better than ruining the date.
You want to be able to remember what transpired the day before, right? Great. Leave the boozy nights for later.
19. Let things play out spontaneously
Taking the initiative and making the first move is awesome. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to push your potential boyfriend or girlfriend too hard.
Let things play out on their own course. Remember that you’re in the initial stage of flirtation, so don’t go around looking for answers.
Keep in mind that you’re looking for subtle ways to flirt. So, asking your crush if they want to be in a relationship or declaring your everlasting love for them will surely ruin everything.
Show interest, but act as if this subtle flirting is something you normally do. Don’t put any pressure on either of you, and don’t act like this flirtation is the most important thing in the world for you right now (even if it is).
20. Always keep a positive outlook
Finally, be positive and have fun. After all, that’s what subtle flirting is all about.
The most important thing here is to enjoy it to the max. Don’t overthink everything, don’t be too pushy or too needy- if you do, you’ll just kill the mood.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to always hope for the best. But, don’t get all disappointed if things don’t work out for the best either.
If nothing else, you’ll always know you tried your best, and most importantly – you’ll know you had the time of your life while doing it.
How Do You Subtly Flirt Over Text
For starters, be playful and keep the conversation as light as possible. Leave the deep topics for your first date. For now, crack a funny joke, give them a compliment or ask them a teasing question.
Don’t even think about writing long-essay paragraphs. You’ll just appear too pushy. Instead, keep your messages short and sassy.
Also, don’t double or triple text them. Wait for their reply – they’ll send you a text back when they can.
Don’t give them the impression that you spend all of your days waiting for their text message or that you wonder if you should have texted them or not. Show them that you have a life outside of your phone – they’ll appreciate you more that way.
Social media flirting
Don’t forget about social media as well.
Like and comment on their photos- that’s all part of flirting. Slide into their DMs: reply to their story with a heart emoji or just send them a sexy selfie. Remember: never send nudes!
To Wrap It Up:
Now that you’ve figured out how to subtly flirt, all you have to do is put yourself out there. Test this new knowledge and have fun while doing it.
May the odds be ever in your favor.