I don’t know about you, but whenever I am disappointed in fellow human beings for not making time for me, I immediately enter the overthinking zone.
The first thing that comes to my mind is: Are they mad at me?
Here are other follow-up questions: Did I do something wrong? Am I not worthy of their attention? Or do they have more important things to do at the moment?
After this overthinking session, I take a deep breath and remind myself of this famous saying: People make time for what they want. Period.
Now, what does this really mean?
Are we so busy that giving our time to someone or something has become a luxury?
Are we unwilling to give our time to those who give their time to us just because we don’t feel like it? Have we become a nation of egocentric people who only think of their own needs?
As you can see, there are many reasons and theories for this “controversial” topic. Some of these reasons are totally valid, while others aren’t. I hope my critical analysis of this topic will fill you with knowledge and wisdom.
People Make Time For What They Want To Make Time For
We all know that people have things to do. What we also know is that people put their time and energy into things they CARE about. Remember this sentence because it can be a lifesaver in some circumstances.
So, yes, most people (including tidsoptimists) have a busy schedule. They get distracted, exhausted (especially if they have social anxiety), or some other external forces can interfere with their wish to make time for other things or people.
But in the end, not even the busiest people are so busy or bad at texting that they can’t find a few seconds or minutes of their time to send you a text. No one is so busy that they can’t spend quality time with you once a month or a few times a year.
People make time for what and who they want because they have their own priorities. If you combine this with a lack of empathy and understanding for others, there you have it: A recipe for hurting those who care about you.
Basically, we can divide people into two categories:
• Those who make time for what they want because they don’t have any other choice at the moment.
• Those who make time for what they want because they don’t really care about other things or other people.
With that said, below you’ll find a list of valid and not-so-valid reasons why people choose to make time for what they want.
Valid Reasons People Make Time For What They Want
Sometimes, people are preoccupied with demanding jobs, health issues, or family matters. In these and similar circumstances, making time for anything else becomes a luxury.
It’s difficult to prioritize other things when you aren’t at peace with yourself. Here are a few valid reasons why people make time for what they want:
• A demanding and exhausting job.
Not every job is the same. Some jobs are ten times more exhausting than others, so at the end of the day, you have no strength left for anything else than sleep.
After some time, you turn into a robot devoid of human joy, such as appreciating the little things, focusing on hobbies, or spending time with your loved ones.
If you’re a perfectionist with a demanding job, you’ll feel the urge to do everything in a “big way,” which can be exhausting.
• Health issues.
If you’ve ever watched the popular YouTuber known as Crazy Russian Hacker, then you’re familiar with the famous sentence that he says in every video: “Safety is the number one priority.”
I couldn’t agree more, but here’s my “advanced hypothesis”: Health should always be everyone’s first priority.
If you’re going through a period of life where you generally lack good energy and you have poor health and low energy levels, then it’s no surprise that all your focus is directed on that.
• Family matters.
Health and family are definitely two things that should be prioritized above anything else.
Perhaps you stay at home every night to look out for your little sisters or brothers, you’re a single parent, or you have family issues that need to be addressed… All of these are legit reasons to make time for what you want – in this case, your family.
• Mental health problems.
You spend less time with others because you don’t experience relationships in the same way. The relationship you have with yourself is a burden, which is why you can’t focus on maintaining relationships with others.
Mental illness comes with negative emotions that can prevent you from focusing on doing the right thing. Additionally, isolophilia doesn’t count as a mental illness.
• Working on finding themselves and their purpose.
We all have different paths in life, and some of us are still creating our own. If you’re at that stage in your life, know that it’s an important reason and should be prioritized.
Regardless of whether you’re focused on finding your purpose and passions or you’re going through the stages of spiritual awakening, working on finding and loving yourself demands lots of time and patience.
Not-So-Valid Reasons People Make Time For What They Want
The not-so-valid reasons are characteristic of people who are lost and don’t have clear goals and who are only interested in doing things they can get some kind of pleasure from. So, let’s see:
• Not finding 5 mins in their day to text or call you back because “they’re busy.”
Here’s a quick recap of my recent experience: Every single time I texted him, he would ignore it the whole day. When I asked him why he acted that way, he just said that he was too busy.
Well, here’s my humble conclusion: Selfish people don’t have a problem finding selfish ways to get what they want or not do what they don’t want.
There will never be a perfect time to do something. Important work is not more important than people you care about. We all have 5 mins in a day to text or call someone if we want to.
• Being constantly busy.
“Being constantly busy” is an “elegant way” to excuse yourself from doing things you don’t want to do. Even if they had the busiest schedule in the world, they’d still manage to find time for important people in their life. Why? Because it’s human nature.
A potential silver lining in all this is that if they’re constantly busy, they’re probably not worthy of being in your life. If you notice such signs, do yourself a favor and save yourself.
• Other lame excuses.
Some people have very little understanding of others. These type of people are mainly focused on themselves and trivial things, such as spending too much time watching TV and refusing to do anything other than that.
Prioritizing such things over spending time with people who love you shouldn’t become routine. Lame excuses require so much effort, more than being honest with yourself and others.
How Do You Deal With People Who Don’t Have Time For You?
First of all, try to deal with it in a positive way. This means that you shouldn’t judge them or make them feel bad about their choices. It’s best to find a neutral way to tell them how their behavior makes you feel. An open and honest conversation is a must.
If their reasons are valid, just give them some time and wait for them to contact you first when they can. If they don’t, or if their reasons are totally invalid, then you have every right to cut off all contact and focus on people who are happy to spend time with you.
The biggest mistake you can make is to think that the problem is you. If you’re sure that the problem is not you but their lame excuses, then you shouldn’t let them make you question your self-worth.
Instead, move on. Why? Because they don’t deserve to spend time with you, even if they want to. Life’s too short to waste time on such people.
How they treat others says a lot about how they perceive themselves and life in general. Do you really want to spend your time with superficial people who don’t care about your feelings and are only focused on themselves?
10 ‘People Make Time For What They Want’ Motivational Quotes
I’m sure these inspiring quotes summarize everything said above:
1. “People make time for who they want to make time for. People text and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they’ve been too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.” – Unknown
2. “Many things aren’t equal, but everyone gets the same 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We make time for what we truly want.” – Unknown
3. “Save the excuses. It’s not about ‘having time.’ It’s about ‘making time.’ If it matters, you will make time.” – Unknown
4. “You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” – Charles Buxton
5. “When you really matter to someone, that person will always make time for you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.” – Unknown
6. “The only people you need in your life are those who want you in theirs. Never make someone a priority if they only see you as an option.” – Unknown
7. “If someone wants to be part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.” – Unknown
8. “Don’t force someone to make time for you. If they really want to, they will.” – Unknown
9. “Nobody is ever too busy. If they care, they will make time.” – Unknown
10. “We all make time for what we feel is important in our lives.” – Unknown
It’s true people make time for what they want. Also, people have different reasons when it comes to making or not making time for certain things and other people.
However, at the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing: Where there is a will, there is a way. Everything else is just an excuse (unless we’re talking about one of those valid reasons above).
If this happens to you, don’t worry too much. Have enough patience to understand them. Also, have the courage to move on when you have to. It’s as simple as that.