15 sinais de que o seu casamento vai acabar em divórcio
According to statistics, the divorce rate among couples is skyrocketing. I mean, just look around you – Todas as pessoas que conhece já se divorciaram ou tencionam contactar um advogado de divórcios em breve.
Mas quais são os factores mais comuns de previsão do divórcio? E o mais importante, em que é que o vosso casamento é diferente?
Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you can relate to most of these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce, it’s not.
15 sinais de que o seu casamento vai acabar em divórcio
Veja isto como uma espécie de “should I get a divorce?” quiz. Se preencher a maioria destes critérios, o seu casamento está condenado ao fracasso, quer queira quer não:
1. O amor não pode viver onde não há confiança
The first warning sign you’re heading to divorce is a falta de confiança between you and your spouse. Come on, you can’t have a healthy relationship with a friend or coworker if you don’t trust each other – let alone the person you share a life with.
Há dois aspectos na falta de confiança mútua.
A primeira é não ter confiança neles. You can’t rely on them when you need their help.
You don’t know if they’ll be there to pick up the pieces and if they won’t back out on you when you’re going through a rough patch.
Basically, you’ve both forgotten about those “through thick and thin” vows. Illness, mental health issues, substance abuse problems, poverty, family drama? They’re not who you can rely on in any of these situations.
At the same time, you don’t trust that they’re telling the truth. You doubt every single word that comes out of their mouth. You question everything they say or do, and you have to double-check their every move.
Of course, let’s not forget that you don’t trust each other’s judgment-making skills. Your partner is not the one whose advice you’ll ask for simply because you don’t think they are able to make a good choice.
2. Violência doméstica
Um dos 15 sinais de que o seu casamento vai acabar em divórcio é, sem dúvida, violência doméstica. Mas, por favor, não se esqueçam de que existem muitos mais tipos de abuso do que apenas físico.
You may think that you two are good to go because you don’t hit each other. However, if there is abuso emocional envolvidos, isso também é um fator de previsão do divórcio.
Sim, isto inclui também o abuso verbal. Se você e o seu parceiro continuam dizer coisas que magoam e ser mau to each other, it’s a clear sign to start searching for the best divorce lawyer.
And let’s not forget about sexual abuse either. Yes, that happens in marriages as well.
Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean they have the right to force you to sleep with them or do anything you don’t want to do in bed. Your body is yours, and your significant other must respect your boundaries.
3. Falta de respeito
O respeito mútuo é uma das bases de um casamento saudável. É preciso respeita o teu marido e esposa, e eles devem fazer o mesmo por si.
Mas não há qualquer vestígio de respeito quando se trata da sua casamento infeliznão é? Bem, esse é um dos sinais de divórcio.
O que é que significa falta de respeito? Bem, se tiveres um marido desrespeitoso or wife, they’ll never take your needs into consideration. This goes hand in hand with a marido egoísta ou esposa.
Your spouse will never treat you as their equal. On the contrary, they’ll always act as the dominante.
De acordo com isto, deve seguir o exemplo deles e ser o submisso, no questions asked. Nevertheless, please, don’t confuse this with bedroom dynamics.
I’m talking about the fact that your SO makes all the decisions without ever including you. They don’t respect your opinions and attitudes.
They don’t listen to what you have to say, and most of the time, they treat you like a little kid.
As if that wasn’t enough, they also use every chance they get to insult and humiliate you – especially in front of others.
4. Diferentes planos para o futuro
Your presence might be near perfection, but the sad reality is that it’s time for a divorce attorney if you don’t have the same future plans.
No, I’m not talking about the fact that you want to go to New York and they want to visit the Caribbean this summer, so you can’t reach a compromise.
Let’s picture it this way: you want to move to a bigger city, but your spouse’s lifelong dream is to live in the countryside. You want to chase your career while your SO wants you to be a stay-at-home parent.
And don’t get me started about children. In fact, this is probably the biggest deal-breaker. This is something you two should have discussed before tying the knot, but if you haven’t, and it turns out that you have different worldviews, you’ve got yourself a problem.
There is no compromise here. It’s not like one person will agree to have kids against their will, or the other sentences themselves to a childless life, despite wanting children. In that case, both spouses, including the children, will end up miserable.
That’s why divorce is the only solution to desistir.
5. Visões do mundo incompatíveis
If two married people don’t share important world views and have different opinions on significant matters that impact both of them and their lives together, that is a recipe for an unhappy marriage right there.
I’m not saying that you and your spouse must have the same taste in music to make your marriage work. Despite being a team, you two are still two individuals, and it’s normal that you won’t agree on everything, nor should you.
However, let’s say that one person is strictly religious and the other wants nothing to do with spirituality and wants to enjoy their earthly life without any limitations?
E se um quiser viver com a família alargada e o outro se fartar dela durante as férias, quanto mais não seja?
The examples are endless, but I’m sure you see where I’m going. At the end of the day, two married people should at least have similar worldviews and shared moral values for their marriage to work.
6. Falta de intimidade física
Look, I’m not saying that good sex is what a successful marriage is all about. However, the taxa de divórcio among married couples who don’t sleep together is immensely high. After all, your bedroom activities are what differentiates you from two roommates or best friends who just live together.
It’s one thing if this is just a phase. Nevertheless, se o seu o casamento torna-se sem sexo, it’s definitely time for a marriage counselor.
Mas falta de intimidade física doesn’t only mean that you two aren’t having sex. It also includes a falta de afeto, such as not sleeping together (in a literate sense of the word), no kissing, no cuddling, no holding hands, no hugging…
There is, without a doubt, something hidden behind these behavior patterns, and if you don’t work on it in time, it will definitely become one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
7. Couples therapy doesn’t work
When they go through a crisis they clearly can’t resolve by themselves, responsible married couples go to marriage counseling. And that is the right thing to do. Actually, visiting a marriage counselor is probably the best thing you can do to salvar o seu casamento.
Mas o que acontece quando a terapia de casal lhe abre os olhos e lhe mostra que a sua marriage isn’t worth savingApesar de todos os seus esforços? Bem, nesse caso, não há outra alternativa senão desistir.
I mean, you’ve tried it all, including separação. You’ve followed all the conselhos matrimoniais que o seu terapeuta familiar lhe deu, mas nada resultou. Nesta altura, a terapia tornou-se uma tortura.
It’s like you’re giving CPR to someone who’salready dead – nothing beneficial is going on, nor will it!
8. Infidelidade não perdoada
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t write just infidelity without the unforgiven part? The answer lies in the fact that some married couples manage to ultrapassar a infidelidade e salvar o seu casamento apesar de isso acontecer.
Mas se souberes que a tua mulher ou o marido está a traí-la and you two just continue living as if nothing is happening, it’s one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
I am not only talking about physical infidelity here. It’s the same if one of you is having an emotional affair. This is a major sign that something serious is missing in your marriage and that one of you isn’t ready to be loyal and faithful.
Infidelity is one of the most significant forms of betrayal. Some couples pretend that they’ve survived it, but they’ve actually just swept everything under the carpet.
Mais cedo ou mais tarde, os velhos demónios voltam para os assombrar. RessentimentoSurgem os rancores, a raiva e o desejo de vingança.
When that happens, the marriage actually ended a while ago – the couple just hasn’t contacted their divorce attorney and thrown a divórcio.
9. É mais feliz sozinho do que acompanhado
Nobody can argue against spending time alone or with other people when you get married. It’s not like you and your spouse became conjoined twins the moment you said “I do.”
However, quality time is crucial for a happy marriage. I’m not referring to you two sitting next to each other, watching TV, or scrolling through your phones.
I’m talking about having meaningful conversations and doing things that make you both happy. I’m talking about actually being present in each other’s lives.
Sadly, both you and your spouse are way happier alone than when you’re together. You literally run away from one another and look for excuses not to be in the same room.
This is a clear sign that you two can’t stand each other, and it’s possible that odeia-os e vice-versa. Há realmente mais alguma coisa para falar sobre este casamento?
10. You’re already living like two single people
A dura verdade é que o casamento entre si e o seu cônjuge praticamente só existe no papel, ou seja, em teoria. Na prática, vivem como duas pessoas solteiras.
Both of you are unfaithful or at least have emotional affairs. You spend most of your time apart, and in many cases, you have no idea where your SO is or what they’ve been up to.
You don’t spend holidays together, you don’t visit each other’s families, and you don’t sleep together. If you have kids, you do your best to co-parent them, and that’s about it.
You don’t consult each other before making important life decisions, nor are you included in one another’s future plans. You’re not a team or a union – you are just two individuals who happen to live together.
11. No jealousy at all…
Your partner is not jealous of you and vice versa. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Well, excessive jealousy is not healthy – everyone knows that, but it’s impossible not to be jealous at all, either. At least, it’s not possible if there are any feelings left.
I’m not talking about the fact that your SO trusts you. It’s one thing that you know they wouldn’t cheat on you even if their life depended on it.
It’s not like that with the two of you. It’s just that you don’t care if they have an affair.
You don’t care if your wife or o marido olha para outra pessoa, and you wouldn’t care if they actually cheated on you either.
Actually, deep down, you’re praying that they’d find someone else so they could give you a break or so you could use it as an excuse to finally make the decision to get a divorce.
At the same time, your SO isn’t medo de te perder either. They couldn’t care less if you’re flirting, texting, or even sleeping with someone else.
Have you two become only friends, or are things like this because you can’t stand each other anymore? I don’t know, but I know one thing: this is one of the major signs that divorce is near.
12. … or too much jealousy
Por outro lado, demasiado ciúme e possessividade aren’t healthy either. Your partner is not your parent, and you’re not a little child who needs to ask for their permission to go out with friends or do something fun without them.
Both you and your spouse must have a life outside of your relationship if you want your marriage to work. Not allowing each other to have friends, stalking each other’s social media profiles, and not respecting boundaries won’t get you anywhere.
Clinginess and neediness are not acceptable in a marriage. You might think that things are going great for now, but if you’re too focused on one another, your union is not sustainable. Mais cedo ou mais tarde, um de vós vai querer a sua liberdade de volta.
If you plan on cheating, that’s exactly what you’re going to do, despite them constantly breathing down your neck. So, what exactly is the point of this ciúmes que estão a arruinar a vossa relação?
13. Discussões pouco saudáveis
Todos brigas de casalAs discussões, por si só, não são um sinal de uma relação pouco saudável. No entanto, as discussões podem ser saudáveis. Ou, para ser exato, deveriam ser saudáveis.
Healthy couples know that it’s them against the problem, not one against the other. They learn a lesson from every fight and come up with a solution.
However, your fights are as toxic as your relationship. Your lack of communication skills have brought you to a point where you don’t solve one problem at a time.
Em vez disso, esperam que se acumulem e depois explodem. Ou estão sempre a discutir e fazem um drama por cada pequena coisa.
De qualquer forma, acabamos sempre por insultarem-se uns aos outros e ameaçando pedir o divórcio. Voltamos a questões antigas, não resolvidas, e andamos em círculos.
There is gaslighting, manipulation, yelling and even abuse. The worst part is that you never reach a conclusion – you make up in bed, or you just stop talking for days.
Não há qualquer luta
No entanto, o facto de não lutar também não é um bom sinal. Um dos parceiros é claramente bloqueio e evitar qualquer tipo de comunicação, o que inclui também as discussões.
A falta de comunicação foi o que vos meteu nesta confusão. Talvez tenham dificuldade em exprimir-se, por isso optam por ficar calados, esperando que o problema desapareça por magia.
Or what’s even worse – you have no intention of solving the problem because you couldn’t care less about your relationship. You have no desire to fix it, and you just let everything be the way it is until one of you is brave enough to walk away.
14. Torna-vos a ambos infelizes
Dr. John Gottman, a couple’s therapist and relationship expert, claims that being unhappy in your marriage is actually the most important reason marriages end. No fim de contas, tudo se resume a esta questão: o vosso casamento faz-vos sentir infelizes?
Se a resposta for sim, não vale a pena tentar lutar contra o divórcio.
I’m not saying that something “big” has happened in your marriage. Maybe there wasn’t abuse or infidelity included.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you don’t feel happy with your partner. Instead of improving the quality of your life, they’re doing the opposite.
Deixem-me que vos diga que viver assim vos trará, mais cedo ou mais tarde, sérios problemas de saúde mental.
15. Não há mais amor
As pessoas que mantêm relações duradouras, para não falar de casamentos, perdem o seu lado positivo ao fim de algum tempo. Cair na rotina é bastante normal, e ninguém espera que o seu casamento seja uma montanha-russa de emoções após anos de união.
In fact, it’s healthier if that feeling of being in love transforms into a more peaceful kind of love that includes respect, trust, and loyalty.
No entanto, don’t confuse this with a complete falta de amor.
A verdade é que love por si só não é suficiente para um casamento bem sucedido. No entanto, continua a ser fundamental!
When there is no love between you two, everything else is in vain. Many couples think it’s okay to settle for a casamento sem amor, but trust me – it’s not.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life waking up next to someone you have no romantic feelings for. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of this pathetic co-existence, and your marriage will fall apart.
Como é que se sabe realmente quando é que o casamento acabou?
O casamento está acabado quando ambos desistem de lutar por ele e quando um de vós faz algo imperdoável.
In the first case, you’re both tired of trying to revive something that’s been dead for some time. You crave the day when one of you will finally give up this charade and you’ll get your freedom back.
In the other case, you can try your hardest to forgive something your SO did, but deep down, you’re aware that they’ve crossed the line. You do your best to accept their apology, but every time you look at them, their sin appears in front of your eyes.
For some, this is abuse. For others, infidelity, and for some, it’s disrespect… It can actually be anything – the bottom line is that after this, things can never go back to the way they were before.
O que são sinais de alerta num casamento?
Desonestidade, batota em sérieA falta de comunicação, o desrespeito, os problemas de confiança, a interferência de terceiros na relação e a falta de intimidade física são alguns dos sinais de alerta mais importantes a que se deve prestar atenção num casamento.
Todas as pessoas têm problemas diferentes, mas nenhum dos aspectos acima referidos deve ser ignorado.
Como é que se sabe se se está a caminho do divórcio?
You’re headed for divorce if you can’t stand to look at each other anymore, if there is no love present, and if every conversation you try to have ends in an argument. O divórcio está a aproximar-se se cada pequena coisa que o seu parceiro faz o irrita (e vice-versa).
Além disso, se prestar mais atenção às imperfeições da pessoa do que àquilo que gostava nela, é sinal de que o divórcio está a chegar.
Que casamentos terminam em divórcio?
Os casais que se casam por pressão dos pares, por causa do dinheiro ou sem se amarem em geral divorciam-se mais cedo ou mais tarde. O mesmo se passa com os casais imaturos que pensam que o amor é a única coisa que importa e que se casam antes de verificarem a sua compatibilidade ou de se conhecerem devidamente.
Basically, every marriage that doesn’t have a balance between love and other things, such as trust and respect, will not last!
Para terminar:
Just because you can relate to all these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce doesn’t make salvá-lo absolutamente impossível. I’ll be honest – if you’ve reached this point, it will be extremely difficult to revive it.
No entanto, onde há vontade, há um caminho. Se acham mesmo que há algo por que lutar, vão em frente. Confiem em mim, esta é a vossa última oportunidade de o fazer!
