Reconnecting with an ex while married is a very bad idea for many reasons. It may hurt a lot of people and even ruin the lives of a few.
When a relationship ends, both partners need to take time to heal. If they keep in contact, they’ll never be able to move forward properly. If someone isn’t ready to completely let go of their past, they should not engage in a new relationship.
However, if two exes keep coming back to each other, it’s obvious that they have a strong connection that doesn’t allow them to let go of one another.
7 Dangers Of Reconnecting With An Ex While Married
Okay, we all know that reconnecting with an ex while married is the wrong idea. Now, it’s time to find out all the dangers behind it.
1. Your spouse may find out
I’m sure your spouse doesn’t know about it for now, but one day, they’ll find out one way or another. And what will you do when that day comes?
Will you be able to look your partner in the eye? What will you say to them? Will you be able to endure that you’ve broken their heart?
2. It may damage or completely destroy your marriage
If your spouse finds out about it, there are two possible scenarios that may happen:
Some trust issues between you and your partner will definitely arise. Also, it may leave your spouse with many insecurities. All of this will weaken your connection.
Now, it’s up to you to decide. Is reconnecting with your ex really worth losing the beautiful long-term relationship you have with your current partner? If it is, then go for it, but if it’s not, end every form of communication you have with your ex.
3. Giving your ex false hope
Maybe you’ve reconnected with your ex from high school, and you really want to be friends with them, but maybe that isn’t what they have in mind. Every bit of communication you have might give them hope that you also want to rekindle your old relationship.
So, even if you don’t have any intention to, they might think that you do. Maybe all you want is a long-distance friendship, where you’ll be texting over social media from time to time, and that’s it. However, your ex may be wishing for something completely different.
4. You may start thinking about rekindling the old flame
Can a lost love be reborn? It most definitely can, but it’ll never be the same again. That’s what you should keep in mind if you’re thinking about rebuilding the connection with your ex.
Maybe you didn’t think about it when they reached out to you, but if you spend too much time texting, those kinds of thoughts will definitely appear.
5. Old feelings may come back
Well, the truth is, if old feelings come back, it may be a red flag that they have never even gone. Maybe you were in love with your ex all this time while you were married to your current partner.
Perhaps you married them hoping it’d help you forget about your ex. I agree it’s a bad thing, but if it’s true, you need to come clean with your spouse and admit the truth to them.
Neither you nor your spouse deserves to stay in a marriage where there is no true love.
6. You may do something you’ll regret later
At first, you may only be texting. However, if you allow it to go on for some time, your ex might invite you out, and you may accept their invitation.
And I honestly doubt it’ll only be two old friends hanging out. You might do something. Heck, I’ll be direct: you may sleep with them and cheat on your spouse. Even if you’re absolutely sure you’re still in love with your ex, you won’t be able to forgive yourself for cheating on your current partner.
7. A lot of people around you may get hurt
If you are in a healthy relationship/marriage with your partner, doing something like this behind their back won’t only hurt them. It’ll also hurt everyone who loves them and loved you two as a couple.
Your mutual friends, your close friends, your family, his family… All those people will be hurt by your betrayal. Are you sure you can deal with such a huge weight around your neck? Will you be able to move on knowing that you’ve hurt so many people?
Reconnecting With An Ex While Married: What To Do?
If you’re reconnecting with your ex while you’re married, here are some things you should pay attention to. I’m sure these things will make you change your mind and end communication with your ex.
1. Remind yourself why your relationship ended the first time
Just remind yourself of why you and your ex broke up in the first place. It’s not like they were the best partner ever, and you decided you’d one day had enough of them.
Your relationship wasn’t healthy, and you weren’t a good match because if you were, you would still be together. Remind yourself of that every time you start thinking about reconnecting with them.
2. Focus on your emotional and mental health
When you find yourself in this position, it definitely starts affecting your well-being. You become obsessed about it, you find your situation hopeless, and you blame yourself for doing it behind your partner’s back.
Maybe that is your ex’s goal: to ruin you completely. To break your heart again. To leave you with emotional wounds once again.
Don’t allow them to do that. Pay attention to your emotional and mental health. If it’s needed, seek professional help.
3. Letting go of the past and holding on to the present/future
For the sake of your current relationship, you need to let go of your old relationship and your ex. Leave those things in the past where they belong.
All married couples go through different phases, and if you and your spouse are currently in a rut, you’ll overcome it. Whatever it is, it doesn’t give you the right to find comfort in your ex.
4. Think about everything you may lose… Is it worth it?
You aren’t only going to lose your marriage and your spouse… You may lose your close friends because they might be angry at you because of what you did.
If there are kids involved, they may also be angry because of what you did to their mom/dad. And your family may be hurt, and your in-laws might start hating you.
Now, tell me… Is it really worth it? I always say that true love is worth anything, but even if there are some feelings between you and your ex, it’s not true love.
Believe me, it’s not worth losing everything you have and have been building with your current partner over the years you’ve been together.
5. Remember, an ex is an ex for a reason
You didn’t end your romantic relationship with your ex just because. I’m sure there was a good reason for it, just like there is a reason you decided to marry your current partner.
If they were truly your soulmate, they wouldn’t be stuck in your past. If you care about your future, you’ll focus solely on it and your present, and leaving your past behind forever.
Think about all these things before your ex takes you down the rabbit hole. Even if you two are just texting, those things aren’t harmless… it may harm your marriage to the point it won’t be fixable anymore.
Is It OK To Talk To Your Ex While Married?
It’s okay ONLY if your current partner knows about it. If you’re doing it behind their back, it isn’t and can’t be okay because that means you have a reason for hiding it from them.
Still, you need to pay attention to how you talk to your ex. Keep those talks on amicable terms. Don’t allow them to cross the line.
If you notice at any moment that it’s started to bother your spouse, you should end communication with your former partner. After all, you should always know your priorities: your new partner and your marriage.
Can You Be Friends With An Ex While Married?
If you agreed to be friends before you met your new partner and before you got married, it’s okay to be friends with your ex-partner when you’re married.
I think your partner shouldn’t make a big deal about it because you two were friends even before you got married, especially if you aren’t the best of friends but the kind of friends who text or see each other only a couple of times in a year.
However, if your spouse doesn’t agree with it, you should try to explain it to them calmly, or if that doesn’t change their mind, you should start thinking about ending the friendship with your ex-partner.
Is Texting Your Ex Considered Cheating?
Some people would say that it’s not because you’re only texting. However, there are different kinds of cheating – unfaithfulness isn‘t only when a partner sleeps with someone else.
If you’re texting your ex behind your spouse’s back and keeping it a secret from them and everyone else, and if that texting is making you think about rekindling the old flame, it’s most definitely emotional cheating.
Just try to imagine how it would make your current partner feel if they found out about it. Or, try to imagine how you would feel if they were doing the same to you.
If you really love your spouse, you should stop texting your ex ASAP. Let the past go, move forward once and for all, and focus on your marriage. On the other hand, if you still have feelings for your old love, be fair and respectful with your spouse and tell them the truth – they deserve it!
Talking To Your Ex While In A Relationship Quotes
I hope these quotes will show you how dangerous it is to reconnect with your ex behind your new partner’s back.
1. “Ladies, if he still talks to his ex, even if it’s trash talk, he’s not over her. When a man is over someone, he doesn’t talk with them.”
2. “I just found out that my soon-to-be ex-husband is texting with his ex-girlfriend. Well, it’s his bad because he’s the one who is about to lose the real diamond because of his search for all that glitters.”
3. “When your partner starts talking to their ex, you might as well ask them to bring yesterday’s trash back into the house while he/she is at it..”
4. “Entertaining your ex is disrespectful to the relationship you are in. When you mix the past with the present, you destroy the future!”
5. “No! Talking to your ex is a form of cheating. You don’t do that if you are in a serious relationship. Period.”
6. “My ex-boyfriend texted me, and I texted him back. It was the biggest mistake of my life because it almost cost me losing the two most sacred things in my life: my husband and our marriage. This is an appeal to you all, don’t even think about making the same mistake!”
7. “Yes, it is cheating. An ex is an ex for a reason. You shouldn’t be talking to an ex-wife/husband if you have a new love, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you’re still not over your ex.”
8. “If you have feelings for them, go back to them and leave your new partner to find their own happiness. That way, only one person will end up hurting. Playing both sides will hurt all three of you.”
9. “If you are talking to your ex, you’re definitely cheating on the person you’re currently in a relationship with. Just as sex is cheating, in any case, talking to your ex would also be considered cheating.”
10. “Think twice before deciding to text back someone you loved in the past. That could be the mistake of your life because you could lose the person standing beside you in the present.”
11. “If you’re going to remain friends with your ex, it will happen organically and when you’re over them. Anything else is auditioning to get your old job back while playing the role of doormat.”
12. “If you’re even thinking about texting your ex, your marriage is doomed to fail.“
13. “Your partner shouldn’t have to remind you to cut off communication with your ex. Only then will your relationship move forward.”
14. “You opened a new chapter of your life when you said ‘yes’ to your spouse. With respect for that chapter, you should never think about reopening past ones.”
15. ”Stop communicating with your ex unless you’re ready to end your relationship now. Remember, he/she is an ex for a reason. If you get back together with them, the reason you left will just resurface.”
In A Nutshell
All in all, reconnecting with an ex while married is the worst possible thing you can do to your current partner. No one deserves to be betrayed in such a way.
If you think you still have feelings for your ex-partner or your old feelings have come back, you shouldn’t ignore them. You can give your ex another chance, but you need to admit it and talk about it with your spouse first.
Don’t allow a moment of passion to ruin your marriage. Always bear in mind that there is a good reason that person belongs to your past and your current partner is part of your present.
Let that guide you while making the decision about who you want in your future.