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7 Signs That Prove You’re A TOTAL Sapiosexual

7 Signs That Prove You’re A TOTAL Sapiosexual

As an introverted female sapiosexual, I wholeheartedly admit that I’m a sucker for intelligent men. Nothing can get my instant attention and attract me with a minimum effort like intelligence can.

If I’m unable to have deep conversations with a potential partner (and if they’re unable to make me laugh), I lose interest immediately.

Seriously, they could be the hottest guy on the planet and I still wouldn’t be interested in them unless they have that secret ingredient: intelligence.

If you feel the same way or you’re dating someone who might be a sapiosexual, below you’ll find everything you need to know about sapiosexual people.

First, we’ll answer the question: What is a sapiosexual? Then, we’ll go through the signs of sapiosexuality, turn-ons for sapiosexuals, and quotes that perfectly explain this sexual orientation.

This will be a fun ride!

What Is The Meaning Of Sapiosexual?

a man leaning against the houseFrom pansexual to sapiosexual, the LGBTQ+ umbrella covers a whole spectrum of different identities regarding gender and sexuality. So, what does sapiosexual mean?

A sapiosexual is someone who experiences mental and sexual attraction toward intelligent a.k.a. smart people.

When someone asks me to define sapiosexual in my own words, I always tell them to imagine an introvert who can’t be impressed by small talk or superficial people.

The same goes for this sexual orientation. Sapiosexuals crave the same things introverts crave in romantic relationships. Deep and inspiring conversations are the core of sapiosexual meaning.

When Was Sapiosexual Added To The Dictionary?

a beautiful man leaning against a fence looks out to seaThe word sapiosexual originated from the Latin root word ‘sapien’, meaning wise and ‘sexualis’ meaning sexual. Basically, it is still a new word, and Merriam-Webster dictionary first used the word in 2004.

Truth be told, we no longer live in the world of dictionaries, but dating apps. Well, dating apps such as Sapio and OkCupid allow users to identify as sapiosexuals.

With that being said, here’s an interesting definition of sapiosexual by Urban Dictionary: Something you put on your dating profile if you want to be pretentious. Definitely food for thought. 🤔

Are You A Sapiosexual?

You know you’re a legit sapiosexual if some or all of the above things resonate with you:

Deep conversations inspire you and turn you on

a smiling man and woman talkingYou live for thought-provoking questions and all kinds of brain teasers. If you can’t establish a deep, meaningful conversation with a potential partner, you won’t think twice about pursuing them.

To you, deep conversations are great foreplay. From wellness to conspiracy theories, these conversations could be about anything.

You are attracted to things that are attractive to a sapiophile such as eye-opening conversations, debating, and similar.

When looking for potential partners, intelligence is a priority trait

As you might notice (read with a dose of sarcasm), this sexual identity revolves around intelligence.

So, when you’re thinking of potential partners, you don’t imagine a hot guy or a hot girl, but you’re mainly focused on their personality and, allow me to use the word again, intelligence.

When you’re looking at your potential partner’s social media profile, you don’t even pay that much attention to their appearance. You’re primarily preoccupied with those things that accentuate their personality and resemble intelligence.

Also, you strongly believe that geeky guys and geeky girls make the best partners.

You are drawn to a person’s interior more than their exterior

a man and a woman are talkingThe first time you see someone, you don’t even pay attention to their appearance, but you can’t wait to hear their story, feel their vibe, and fall in love with their intelligence and unique way of thinking.

The same thing applies to a demisexual (sexually attracted to someone based on a strong emotional connection).

For sapiosexuals and demisexuals, a relationship with an introvert is the best and sometimes the only type of sustainable relationship.

The more you get to know them, the more attracted you are to them

You have a whole different perception of attractive qualities when it comes to dating and relationships. You don’t fall for their perfect bodies, but you fall for their wisdom, sense of humor, witty comebacks, and sarcastic comments.

To you, it’s all about intellectual compatibility. The more you get to know their personality, the more you’re attracted to them.

This can’t be said for the opposite of sapiosexual, which would be intellectophobe or anti-intellectualist.

You can’t stand small talk

a man and a woman are walking along the beach and talkingAs a sapiosexual, I repeat this very often: “If there’s one thing I hate in this life, it is small talk.” I can’t stand it.

The existence of small talk makes me want to become asexual (someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction).

If you feel the same way, then you know you belong to this crew. Besides small talk, I also can’t stand gossiping and other things that belong to the list of toxic personality types.

You don’t go to bars to meet people

The idea of going to bars to meet potential partners doesn’t appeal to you. You would rather meet someone in a cozy bookstore so that you can evaluate their intelligence on the spot (and in your natural habitat).

For first dates, you prefer a smaller intimate setting where you can have endless, deep conversations till your heart’s content.

I was trying to explain this to my friend who is greysexual, but she doesn’t understand me. I told her that hopeless romantics and people like me don’t go to bars to meet people because bars are overrated (one day, she’ll understand.)

You love anything that expands your mind

a smiling man sits on the floor and reads a bookIntellectual conversations, crosswords, watching documentaries, reading, meditating, learning a new language, and similar are some of the things you enjoy doing.

You hang out with inspiring people, and you’re constantly on the lookout for new ways to expand your mind.

You’re also mesmerized by how intelligent people‘s brains work (especially of those you like). You don’t have problems loving an overthinker because you know that overthinking is a sign of intelligence.

Truth be told, you need to be intelligent enough to be able to think and rethink until you have overthought.

How Do You Turn On A Sapiosexual?

a smiling man and woman sit and talkIf you want to learn how to impress someone who belongs to this sexual orientation, the most important thing you need to pay attention to is conversation. Don’t start with small talk because if you do, the game is over.

If you want to turn on a sapiosexual, here’s what you should do:

  • SKIP the small talk
  • Engage in intellectual pursuits (read books, watch movies…)
  • Keep the conversation flowing
  • Ask thought-provoking questions
  • Share your passion
  • Talk nerdy
  • Read to them
  • Learn a new skill together
  • Explore taboo subjects together
  • Watch a documentary with them
  • Have a game night

When it comes to attracting sapiophiles and sapiosexuals, the most important thing to keep in mind is being creative during conversation, and whenever you can.

Show them that you have a unique way of expressing yourself and perceiving things around you and you’ll win their hearts.

Sapiosexuals don’t fall for generic or mainstream people. Aggressive, dishonest, and boring are some of the personality traits that are complete turn-offs for every woman and man who belongs to this sexual orientation.

15 Sapiosexual Quotes That Perfectly Define Sapiosexuality

a man and a woman sit on the couch and talkIf you’re still unsure whether you belong to the crew of sapiosexuals, here are a few quotes that will surely help you figure it out:

1. “Your mind does things to my body that your hands never could.” – Unknown

2. “Talk nerdy to me.” – Unknown

3. “I get high on intelligent conversations.” – Unknown

4. “Philosophical discussion is my foreplay.” – Unknown

5. “When you are sapiosexual, you stalk profiles on LinkedIn and not on Tinder.” – Unknown

6. “I love big brains and I cannot lie.” – Unknown

7. “Let’s have intellectual intercourse.” – Unknown

8. “Never underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary.” – Unknown

9. “I have a weakness for clever minds.” – Unknown

10. “Give me words that make my mind curl before my toes.” – Unknown

11. “Witty banter is the best foreplay.” – Unknown

12. “I have a thing for intellectuals. I love a good mind fuck every now and then.” – Unknown

13. “I am a sapiosexual. I admit being attracted to a cute face, a sexy body, or a winning smile. But, those things simply catch my eye. For someone to keep my attention requires the ability to uphold their side of a conversation.” – Unknown

14. “I like men with massive, throbbing vocabularies.” – Unknown

15. “Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” – Unknown

In Conclusion

a man and a woman stand and talkSapiosexuals don’t experience attraction the same way as ordinary humans do because for them, intelligence is a deal-maker.

Deep conversations are their aphrodisiac; philosophical discussions are their foreplay. A person’s interior is more important than their exterior, and small talk is strictly prohibited.

If you’re one of them, then you have certainly enjoyed reading my article (and my self-bragging sense of humor). 😂

Don’t go yet. To help you find your sapiosexual soulmate, here’s something that might narrow your search: These Are The Three Most Intelligent Zodiac Signs.

(I hope that this was a worthy compensation for the above self-bragging sense of humor).

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Marc L Watts

Sunday 3rd of October 2021

Dear Christine, Enjoyed your article! I am less than a half-hour in hearing the term "sapiosexual", for the first time! ( where in the hell have I been all my life, right?? ) There is a very beautiful woman in Charlotte who described herself on her dating app as a sapiosexual, so, being totally unfamiliar with the term, I Googled it, and, eventually, your article came up! Very informative! Well, as to whether or not I qualify, I will allow you to make that determination! I seem to meet most of your criteria, with only a couple of misses! I READ a lot, stuff like Hawkins' "A Brief History of Time" ( that was the book that the magnificent Halle Berry was reading during her topless scene in the Travolta flick "Swordfish", which motivated me to buy a copy and read it- very engrossing! ) "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire", ( obsessed with Roman and Greek culture ) absolutely ANY volume concerning World War Two, ( a huge buff ) and historical stuff like that. I am not interested in novels, for the most part, but I am a massive DC/Marvel geek, so there's my fiction requirement, and that provides my geek-credential! I love the History Channel and Nat-Geo, my tastes in television tend to run towards adventure shows like "Airwolf", "The Six Million Dollar Man"/"The Bionic Woman", "The Wild, Wild West", "Starsky and Hutch", "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" ( only twenty episodes, but I never miss 'em ) "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea", "The Invaders", and that kind of stuff. I am also huge on "M*A*S*H", and "The Andy Griffith Show"/"Mayberry, RFD". My favorite movies are the first "Back to the Future" installment, "Hooper", ( Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jan-Michael Vincent ) and the first "Superman" film with Christopher Reeve- both from 1978! I would rather haunt a bookstore or a library than go to any bar, so I think I meet your criteria! The only area I deviate from your criteria is my affection for small talk, and a little light innocent, harmless gossip!! Gossip is a great way to keep up with your friends, and what they're up to! Think 'Walter' from "Crocodile Dundee" ( also one of my favorite movies ) Gossip is okay as long as it doesn't dominate your entire social profile! And WHAT'S WRONG with small talk??!! I agree with you that I cannot tolerate people who blather on endlessly about such banal topics as Britney Spears and the Kardashians, and, in a lot of cases, unfortunately, themselves. I guess it depends on what the small talk is about. I can do "small talk" all day long, if it's about the right subjects, i.e., Quantum-String Theory, World Wars I and II, Korea, Vietnam, politics, space, the environment, etc. So there you have it- that's me, in just a few hundred words! So, what do you think?? I would be very interested to know if you would consider me to be, perhaps, a sapiosexual, based on this profile! Let me hear from you!

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