As an introverted female sapiosexual, I wholeheartedly admit that I’m a sucker for intelligent men. Nothing can get my instant attention and attract me with a minimum effort like intelligence can.
If I’m unable to have deep conversations with a potential partner (and if they’re unable to make me laugh), I lose interest immediately.
Seriously, they could be the hottest guy on the planet and I still wouldn’t be interested in them unless they have that secret ingredient: intelligence.
If you feel the same way or you’re dating someone who might be a sapiosexual, below you’ll find everything you need to know about sapiosexual people.
First, we’ll answer the question: What is a sapiosexual? Then, we’ll go through the signs of sapiosexuality, turn-ons for sapiosexuals, and quotes that perfectly explain this sexual orientation.
This will be a fun ride!
What Is The Meaning Of Sapiosexual?
From pansexual to sapiosexual, the LGBTQ+ umbrella covers a whole spectrum of different identities regarding gender and sexuality. So, what does sapiosexual mean?
A sapiosexual is someone who experiences mental and sexual attraction toward intelligent a.k.a. smart people.
When someone asks me to define sapiosexual in my own words, I always tell them to imagine an introvert who can’t be impressed by small talk or superficial people.
The same goes for this sexual orientation. Sapiosexuals crave the same things introverts crave in romantic relationships. Deep and inspiring conversations are the core of sapiosexual meaning.
When Was Sapiosexual Added To The Dictionary?
The word sapiosexual originated from the Latin root word ‘sapien’, meaning wise and ‘sexualis’ meaning sexual. Basically, it is still a new word, and Merriam-Webster dictionary first used the word in 2004.
Truth be told, we no longer live in the world of dictionaries, but dating apps. Well, dating apps such as Sapio and OkCupid allow users to identify as sapiosexuals.
With that being said, here’s an interesting definition of sapiosexual by Urban Dictionary: Something you put on your dating profile if you want to be pretentious. Definitely food for thought. ?
Are You A Sapiosexual?
You know you’re a legit sapiosexual if some or all of the above things resonate with you:
Deep conversations inspire you and turn you on
You live for thought-provoking questions and all kinds of brain teasers. If you can’t establish a deep, meaningful conversation with a potential partner, you won’t think twice about pursuing them.
To you, deep conversations are great foreplay. From wellness to conspiracy theories, these conversations could be about anything.
You are attracted to things that are attractive to a sapiophile such as eye-opening conversations, debating, and similar.
When looking for potential partners, intelligence is a priority trait
As you might notice (read with a dose of sarcasm), this sexual identity revolves around intelligence.
So, when you’re thinking of potential partners, you don’t imagine a hot guy or a hot girl, but you’re mainly focused on their personality and, allow me to use the word again, intelligence.
When you’re looking at your potential partner’s social media profile, you don’t even pay that much attention to their appearance. You’re primarily preoccupied with those things that accentuate their personality and resemble intelligence.
Also, you strongly believe that geeky guys and geeky girls make the best partners.
The first time you see someone, you don’t even pay attention to their appearance, but you can’t wait to hear their story, feel their vibe, and fall in love with their intelligence and unique way of thinking.
The same thing applies to a demisexual (sexually attracted to someone based on a strong emotional connection).
For sapiosexuals and demisexuals, a relationship with an introvert is the best and sometimes the only type of sustainable relationship.
The more you get to know them, the more attracted you are to them
You have a whole different perception of attractive qualities when it comes to dating and relationships. You don’t fall for their perfect bodies, but you fall for their wisdom, sense of humor, witty comebacks, and sarcastic comments.
To you, it’s all about intellectual compatibility. The more you get to know their personality, the more you’re attracted to them.
This can’t be said for the opposite of sapiosexual, which would be intellectophobe or anti-intellectualist.
You can’t stand small talk
As a sapiosexual, I repeat this very often: “If there’s one thing I hate in this life, it is small talk.” I can’t stand it.
The existence of small talk makes me want to become asexual (someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction).
If you feel the same way, then you know you belong to this crew. Besides small talk, I also can’t stand gossiping and other things that belong to the list of toxic personality types.
You don’t go to bars to meet people
The idea of going to bars to meet potential partners doesn’t appeal to you. You would rather meet someone in a cozy bookstore so that you can evaluate their intelligence on the spot (and in your natural habitat).
For first dates, you prefer a smaller intimate setting where you can have endless, deep conversations till your heart’s content.
I was trying to explain this to my friend who is greysexual, but she doesn’t understand me. I told her that hopeless romantics and people like me don’t go to bars to meet people because bars are overrated (one day, she’ll understand.)
You love anything that expands your mind
Intellectual conversations, crosswords, watching documentaries, reading, meditating, learning a new language, and similar are some of the things you enjoy doing.
You hang out with inspiring people, and you’re constantly on the lookout for new ways to expand your mind.
You’re also mesmerized by how intelligent people‘s brains work (especially of those you like). You don’t have problems loving an overthinker because you know that overthinking is a sign of intelligence.
Truth be told, you need to be intelligent enough to be able to think and rethink until you have overthought.
How Do You Turn On A Sapiosexual?
If you want to learn how to impress someone who belongs to this sexual orientation, the most important thing you need to pay attention to is conversation. Don’t start with small talk because if you do, the game is over.
If you want to turn on a sapiosexual, here’s what you should do:
- SKIP the small talk
- Engage in intellectual pursuits (read books, watch movies…)
- Keep the conversation flowing
- Ask thought-provoking questions
- Share your passion
- Talk nerdy
- Read to them
- Learn a new skill together
- Explore taboo subjects together
- Watch a documentary with them
- Have a game night
When it comes to attracting sapiophiles and sapiosexuals, the most important thing to keep in mind is being creative during conversation, and whenever you can.
Show them that you have a unique way of expressing yourself and perceiving things around you and you’ll win their hearts.
Sapiosexuals don’t fall for generic or mainstream people. Aggressive, dishonest, and boring are some of the personality traits that are complete turn-offs for every woman and man who belongs to this sexual orientation.
15 Sapiosexual Quotes That Perfectly Define Sapiosexuality
If you’re still unsure whether you belong to the crew of sapiosexuals, here are a few quotes that will surely help you figure it out:
1. “Your mind does things to my body that your hands never could.” – Unknown
2. “Talk nerdy to me.” – Unknown
3. “I get high on intelligent conversations.” – Unknown
4. “Philosophical discussion is my foreplay.” – Unknown
5. “When you are sapiosexual, you stalk profiles on LinkedIn and not on Tinder.” – Unknown
6. “I love big brains and I cannot lie.” – Unknown
7. “Let’s have intellectual intercourse.” – Unknown
8. “Never underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary.” – Unknown
9. “I have a weakness for clever minds.” – Unknown
10. “Give me words that make my mind curl before my toes.” – Unknown
11. “Witty banter is the best foreplay.” – Unknown
12. “I have a thing for intellectuals. I love a good mind fuck every now and then.” – Unknown
13. “I am a sapiosexual. I admit being attracted to a cute face, a sexy body, or a winning smile. But, those things simply catch my eye. For someone to keep my attention requires the ability to uphold their side of a conversation.” – Unknown
14. “I like men with massive, throbbing vocabularies.” – Unknown
15. “Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” – Unknown
Sapiosexuals don’t experience attraction the same way as ordinary humans do because for them, intelligence is a deal-maker.
Deep conversations are their aphrodisiac; philosophical discussions are their foreplay. A person’s interior is more important than their exterior, and small talk is strictly prohibited.
If you’re one of them, then you have certainly enjoyed reading my article (and my self-bragging sense of humor). ?
Don’t go yet. To help you find your sapiosexual soulmate, here’s something that might narrow your search: These Are The Three Most Intelligent Zodiac Signs.
(I hope that this was a worthy compensation for the above self-bragging sense of humor).