If you’re about to go on a second date with someone you really like, I can already imagine what you’re currently doing…
You’re pacing the room, trying to figure out what to talk about with your crush, and worrying about whether you will make a good impression.
I do agree that first dates can be really stressful because you feel like you’re on a test the whole time. However, once you pass that test and land that second meet-up, you should relax because you obviously left a good first impression and knocked them off their feet.
Even if the first meeting didn’t go well, and you think that you didn’t quite impress your potential partner, you still got the second chance to repair the damage. You should embrace that opportunity and make the best out of it.
Or, as the dating coach Annie Mayo says: “As long as you haven’t encountered any big deal-breakers during that first date, and the date went pretty well, then you should be willing to go on a second date even if the proverbial ‘sparks’ didn’t fly.”
To calm you down and help you land the very important third date, I’ve compiled a profound guide on the second date that will help you avoid some of the most dangerous pitfalls. So, let’s get started.
What Should Happen On A Second Date?
The one and only thing I can tell you for sure is that there are no rules when it comes to this point. You can basically fall in love, or you can end up hating each other until the end of your second date.
However, the fact is that both partners expect more physical affection and emotional bonding on the second date. In other words, the second date is an appropriate time for a first kiss, of course, if you didn’t kiss after the first date.
Psychotherapist and life coach Alyson Cohen, LCSW, says that the second date is also the perfect opportunity to build more attraction. If there was a spark of attraction on the first date, a second one may strengthen that attraction.
Also, the second date is a perfect opportunity to get to know each other better. You probably didn’t even talk too much on your first date because you’d just met, and both of you were a bit shy and closed off.
I know how it goes. You’re thinking about leaving a good first impression all the time, and you’re afraid to make any first move because you don’t want to mess things up on your first date night.
And now you probably feel even more nervous because you’re a step closer to winning over the person you like. However, there is truly nothing to feel nervous about.
You already passed the first date test… And even if you didn’t, even if you failed to leave a good first impression, you obviously got a second chance to fix things and win them over.
Do You Kiss On The Second Date?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘second date means second base,‘ BUT if you really want to get to the third date, you should forget all about it immediately.
Kissing on the second date is not a must, but it also isn’t a no-go zone. The most important thing is that both partners want it and that both of them are giving clear signals they’re actually okay with it.
So, if you want to make this move, you need to pay attention to your partner’s body language. They’ll be giving you non-verbal signals through their behavior, and if you pay close attention to it, you’ll be able to pick them up and figure out when it’s okay to make the first move.
If the other side likes you, you’ll notice that they have open body language. They’ll laugh at your jokes (even the lousy ones), lean in toward you while you’re speaking, maintain deep eye contact, and start mirroring your behavior or facial expressions.
If you notice any of these signs, it means the other side is giving you the go-ahead to kiss them.
Also, you should trust your gut feeling. If your inner voice is telling you that it’s okay to make the first move, you should definitely listen to it. Don’t overthink it at all, and just go for it without thinking about the possible consequences.
10 Second Date Tips To Leave A Great Impression (Dos & Don’ts)
Here’s some interesting data: according to an SIA study, 61% of single guys and 70% of single women feel more excited about the second date than about the first date.
If you feel so, too, here are some tips to acing and nailing your second meeting. I’m sure these tips will help your love life flourish.
DO open up to your date
This date is the perfect opportunity to get to know your partner better.
And by this, I don’t mean that you should ask them tons of questions and make them feel like they’ve been brought in for questioning. You should simply start opening up to them, which will make them start talking about themselves too.
DON’T reveal too much
Leave that small dose of mystery because there is a true beauty hidden in it. If you reveal everything about yourself during your second meeting, then your potential partner won’t have a reason to see you again.
DO be open to different date ideas
Even if your partner suggests trying something new and different on your second date, something that is way out of your comfort zone, you should accept and go for it.
Show them how flexible and adaptable you are. After all, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
DON’T overcomplicate it
If you aren’t sure about their date night idea, don’t start unnecessarily complicating things. It was their idea, so just relax and let them lead.
DO dress up nicely
Physical appearance plays a huge (but not the most important) role in building the initial physical attraction. If you want to get your date to like you, then you should dress and look even better than on the first date.
DON’T overdo it
However, that doesn’t mean that you should stress out over what to wear on your date. After all, you should remember that the most important thing is to wear something you’ll feel comfortable in.
DO listen to them carefully
If you listen carefully and without interrupting your partner while they talk, you’ll show them that you respect them. And also, it’ll show them that you’re interested in what they have to say.
DON’T psychoanalyze them
Once your potential partner starts sharing stories from their personal life with you, the only thing you need to do is to listen to them. Don’t make your own conclusions about them too soon.
I know you’re curious to find out everything about the person you like, but you’ll find it all out with time. The worst thing you can do is to try to dive into their mind and make some (probably very wrong) conclusions about their personality and nature.
DO talk about your love life
Talking about your past relationships and things you look for in a romantic relationship is perfectly fine. It’s how you’ll encourage your partner to talk about their love life, too, and find out about their emotional accessibility.
DON’T talk about your ex
I’m really serious about this one. Don’t talk about your previous relationship and partner, especially if things have just ended between you.
You’ll sound either nostalgic or resentful. Either way, it won’t do you any good. Your partner may only conclude that you still have feelings for your ex, which would make your second date your last one too.
What To Do On A Second Date: 7 Good Second Date Ideas
If you’ve read our article about first date ideas, then it’s no wonder you’ve landed this second meeting. Now, it’s time to take your potential relationship to the next level.
We’ll prepare you for your next date with these interesting second date ideas that will ensure you get the third date too.
• Settle in for a movie marathon
All you need to know for this kind of date is what your partner’s favorite movie genre is and their favorite snacks. If you’ve met on Tinder or some other dating site, you’ve probably already talked about these kinds of things.
Date night movies really sound like lots of fun, and it’s also a promising one. This intimate atmosphere is the perfect opportunity to snuggle up to your partner and make the first move.
• A game night sounds fun
If you have met your partner on a dating app, you should check their profile once again before choosing your perfect second date idea. If they’ve put playing fun games in their interests and hobbies list, then this is the perfect way to spend your second date night.
There are tons of interesting and extremely fun couples games you can choose for hosting the most exciting date ever.
Play trivia questions games, Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever, or, if you really want to get to know your date on a deeper level, simply choose the 21 Questions game.
• Tarot reading – A useful and quite unique date idea
If you and your potential partner believe in astrology, then this date idea sounds like a perfect choice for you. And it can also be helpful before you find out about your compatibility and the potential you have for building a lasting relationship.
• Get your Zen on with a yoga class
Okay, this is the second time you guys are meeting, and you should feel more relaxed around each other, but it’s perfectly normal if you still feel as nervous as the first time you met.
In that case, you should definitely choose a yoga or meditation class for your second date. To turn up the heat, you can set up a romantic yoga at-home date night.
• Love goes through the stomach, so go with a picnic in a botanical garden
Having a walk and exploring a botanical garden is definitely a great second date idea. And if you add a small blanket and a picnic basket filled with delicious food, it’s definitely a win-win combination.
It would also be great if you could pack the picnic basket yourself. If you show your good cooking skills, you’re definitely getting a call back. ?
• Music has the power to make you fall in love, take your date to a concert
Most relationship experts agree that music brings people together. And this statement is actually supported by science.
The fact is that listening to music releases dopamine (the ‘happy hormone’) in the brain, which gives us the feeling of excitement and happiness. The magic of music is in lightening up people’s moods, and that’s why it should be important to all of us.
• Get your adrenaline pumping with a zip-line course
As much as this idea sounds crazy for a second meeting, it would definitely be a perfect bonding experience. That is, of course, only if the other side is up for an adrenaline rush.
30 Interesting Second Date Questions To Spark Up Your Convo
There are probably so many things you want to know about your potential partner but simply don’t know how to ask, or you’re just afraid that it may go wrong.
And that’s when the awkward silence happens. To avoid those kinds of situations and increase your third date odds, here is a list of interesting questions to ask on a second date:
1. What do you generally do in your free time?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. What subject or activity makes you lose track of time?
4. How would you narrate your life journey in under 2 mins?
5. If you could learn anything, what would you choose, and why?
6. Are you happy with your current work-life?
7. What are your dreams for the future?
8. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
9. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
10. What do you see as commonalities between us?
11. What do you fear the most?
12. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
13. What are the top three most defining moments in your life?
14. What has been your worst heartbreak?
15. Who in your family are you closest to?
16. What was your first impression of me?
17. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
18. If you could go back and do anything in your life over again, what would it be?
19. What are you looking for in a relationship?
20. Do you like to cook?
21. What is your funniest first-date experience?
22. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
23. What is the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
24. Where have you always wanted to travel?
25. How long have you lived in this city, and what do you love about it?
26. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
27. What is the one thing you regret missing out on?
28. Do you have any pets?
29. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?
30. Do you have a funny or awkward online dating experience?
How Do You Know If A Second Date Went Well?
Well, of course, the most obvious sign that your date went great is an invitation for another date. However, if you didn’t get the invitation, it’s still not a reason to start panicking. Maybe the other side is waiting for you to take that step and invite them on a third date.
If you feel happy after your date has finished and think your partner had a great time, too, then it’s the best proof your date was successful.
Your date probably gave you some signals that they like you and are eager to see you again soon. Those signals include prolonged eye contact, teasing, laughing, and physical touch.
Oh, and the last but not least important sign your date has already fallen for you is if they let you give them a ride home. And if you got a goodbye kiss when they were leaving the car, don’t worry, the third date is guaranteed.
Closing Up
The bottom line is that the second date is more significant than the first, but it’s also less important than date number three. However, to get to the third date, you need to pass the second one successfully.
If you stick to these rules and tips, you have nothing to worry about. You’ll nail that second meeting and get the third one easily.
Just don’t stress over unimportant things and don’t overthink things too much. If your heart or gut says that you should say or do something, just go for it.
The point is to get them to like the real you. Your inner voice represents exactly that, the real you, and by shushing it, you’re only ruining your own chances of finding true love.