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Should I Text My Ex Happy Birthday? 9 Questions To Ask Yourself

Should I Text My Ex Happy Birthday? 9 Questions To Ask Yourself

Your ex’s birthday is soon, and one thought keeps occupying your mind: “Should I text my ex happy birthday…??.” And, trust me, I know how overwhelming those thoughts can be.

I had the same dilemma once, and last week, my best friend was in the same situation. To be honest, I’m not a relationship expert, but I gave her some advice from my own experience, and it did help her make the best decision.

Of course, our stories aren’t the same, and my intention isn’t to make you or prevent you from sending that text message. I’m only here to help you navigate through your decision-making process.

Should I Text My Ex Happy Birthday? 9 Questions To Ask Yourself

I know that many of you are wondering, “Should I wish my ex a happy birthday or not?” right now, and, unfortunately, I can’t give you a direct answer here. After all, it’s your call. However, I will prepare you to make the RIGHT call.

Before you type the bday text message and send it to your ex, ask yourself the following questions, and I’m sure you won’t do anything you may regret later.

1. Why do you want to wish your ex a happy birthday?

an imaginary woman sitting on a couch

What is the real reason you want to send them a happy bday text? Is it because you sincerely want to wish them a happy year ahead, or do you have other hidden motives?

If you think that your text may make them miss you or that it’ll bring you two back together, that is one of the worst signs you‘re still deeply in love with them and that you desperately want to get your ex back.

Of course, you have the absolute right to fight for the person you love, but this is definitely not the way to do it.

2. When did you break up?

If your breakup wasn‘t long ago, and you haven’t heard from each other since then, sending them a happy birthday text may only make things more complicated.

The whole point of the no contact rule is that you shouldn‘t text, call, or see each other for some time, no matter what.

On the other hand, if there’s a good chance you’ll reconcile, you should wish them a happy birthday. Remembering their special day will show them that you still genuinely care for them, and it may accelerate the reconciliation process.

3. How did your relationship end?

Are you friends with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend? Did you have a bad breakup or decide to split in a ‘civil’ way?

Well, if your relationship wasn’t healthy, if you weren’t happy together and ended things in a very bad way, then why would you want to send them that text in the first place? It’s really unnecessary and won’t do either of you any good.

Also, if you were the dumper, I wouldn‘t advise wishing your ex a happy birthday because they may still be holding a grudge against you.

4. Is the no-contact period still on?

a beautiful woman sitting at a table in the kitchen and pressing a phone

If you’ve blocked your ex on social media or vice versa after the breakup and haven’t unblocked them, it means that the no contact period is still on.

I know it’s their special day and that it would hurt you not to wish them a happy birthday, but you should respect the no contact rules until the very end.

Then again, if you think that it’s time to break the silence, that both of you are ready to have a friendly talk, you can unblock them and send them a happy bday text. Still, keep the text short and simple. Let it be just an ordinary birthday message to a friend.

5. Do you still have feelings for them?

What about your feelings towards your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you still have romantic feelings for them, or do you simply respect and appreciate them because of what you once had?

If you do still love them, then sending them a happy birthday text may only hurt your feelings. Actually, their response may hurt you.

On the flip side, if you want to wish them all the best on their special day because you still care for them as a friend, it’s completely okay to send them that happy bday message.

6. Do you want your ex back?

If your answer is yes, don’t think I’m going to judge you. However, do you really believe that a simple happy birthday text is enough to get your ex back?

If you really think it is the right way to make them miss you and get them back, who am I to stop you? However, if you want my sincere opinion, it’s a terribly bad idea.

Maybe they’ve already moved on and started a new relationship with someone else. In that case, that text would only bring up past memories for both of you and remind you of old wounds that need to stay in the past.

Always keep in mind that there is a good reason your relationship couldn‘t succeed the first time. Is it really worth giving it a second chance, and do you think things could be different this time around?

7. Is this your way of finding closure?

If it is, then I completely salute your intentions. If sending them a happy birthday text will help you find the closure you need, then do it and don’t even think about whether you’ll get a response or not.

However, don’t forget what your intentions were, and don’t get your hopes up if you receive a response you weren’t hoping for.

8. Would you like them to wish you a happy birthday?

an imaginary woman with frizzy hair sits at a table and holds a phone in her hand

If things were the other way around, would you want them to send you a happy bday text, or even a merry Christmas, happy new year, or happy Valentine’s day text message? Would their message make you feel happy, or would it only make things more complicated?

You probably wouldn’t like to receive a text from your ex after you’ve finally managed to move on. It’s the same thing for your ex… your text message may make them happy, but it may also push them a step backward after they’ve finally started moving forward.

9. Why are you even reconsidering it?

You didn’t just type in your message and send it to your ex. You’re reconsidering it, weighing the pros and cons, and thinking about all the possible consequences.

And I know why that is… This is a big deal for you, and you simply want to do what’s best for both of you.

Even though you probably don’t want to admit it, you still have some romantic feelings for your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. You don’t know what this message may bring you, and the truth is, you’re so afraid of it, of the unknown.

Should You Text Your Ex Happy Birthday? Pros And Cons

a smiling woman holding a cell phone in her hand

Here’s a list of pros and cons when it comes to sending your ex a happy bday text. I hope this will make you reconsider hitting that send button and help you make the best possible decision.

Pros of sending your ex a birthday message

  • It shows them that you want to stay friends with them.
  • It also means that you obviously didn’t forget their special day.

​• It’s about being a bigger person.

Cons of sending your ex a happy birthday text

  • It may be another opportunity for them to reject you.
  • You may be left without a reply, which will affect your self-esteem.
  • Your feelings might get hurt again.
  • You’ll most probably regret it the same moment you hit the send button.

Is It Okay To Wish An Ex Happy Birthday?

The truth is, there is no definite answer to this question because it depends on so many things. It’s okay to send them a text on their special day, but only IF you sincerely wish them all the best.

If you had a bad breakup, if you didn’t end things on good terms, then it wouldn‘t be wise to send them a birthday message. Especially if things are still fresh, that is, if your breakup was recent.

If they broke up with you and made it clear that they don’t want to see or hear from you, then don’t even think about sending them a birthday text. You’ll only hurt your own feelings because they’ll most probably reject you once more.

What Should I Text My Ex On His Birthday? 13 Text Examples

beautiful woman lying on the bed and button on the phone

In the end, if you do decide to send your ex a happy birthday text, you won’t have to trouble yourself with finding the right words. I’ve found the best bday wishes for an ex online and put them in this small collection below. I know, you can thank me later. ?

1. Nothing can take away from the wonderful times we spent together. We have both moved on with our lives, but I’ll never forget you. Happy birthday!

2. Cheers to you on this special day. I hope it’s a great one. HBD! ?

3. Here’s to our many years of great companionship. From this birthday onward, we’ll celebrate great years of friendship together. Here’s wishing you a very special and happy birthday!

4. So what if we couldn’t survive in a long-distance relationship? We can still continue the most beautiful form of relationship – friendship. Happy birthday, ex-boyfriend!

5. Happy birthday to my ex-girlfriend, a girl who used to be my whole world but will forever hold a special place in my heart. I wish you all the best!

6. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember even without a Facebook reminder!☀️

7. I just want to take a few moments from your special day to send my genuine emotions along with happy birthday wishes to you. May your special day turn out to be the best one of your life!

8. I’ll never forget all the wonderful times we spent together. We always had an amazing time celebrating your birthday. Here’s hoping you will continue the tradition—happy birthday!

9. I don’t aim to hurt you by reminding you of the past. Instead, I just want to wish you a happy birthday!

10. We don’t love each other anymore. However, I still have a lot of respect and admiration for you. Wishing happy birthday to a great man and a fantastic lover!

11. You will always be an amazing woman, regardless of your relationship status. I’m honored to have been your boyfriend for the time that I was. Happy birthday!

12. May the eternal glory of God fall on you and illuminate every fiber of your body. Happy birthday, ex-boyfriend!

13. Life and times move on, but the happy memories of times spent with you will remain permanently etched in my heart. I hope you have a great birthday!

In Closing

I truly hope I helped you resolve your “should I text my ex happy birthday” dilemma. As you’ve seen, there are both good and bad sides to sending your ex a happy bday text, so think twice before you actually send it.

If your intentions are purely friendly, then you shouldn’t even be reconsidering it. Just press the send button and continue on with your life as if nothing has happened.

On the other hand, if you think that there is a chance that text may open up some of your past wounds, please don’t do it. Don’t make yourself go through another heartbreak because this one may even be more painful than the last.

Should I Text My Ex Happy Birthday 9 Questions To Ask Yourself Pinterest