Ah, the eternal question: What to text your ex after no contact? How to let them know you still care without actually letting them know?
Or…wait… is it better to let them know?
It’s all very confusing, especially when it’s happening to you. I get that. And that’s why I’m here to help you.
If you’ve realized that you can’t let your ex go, then we’ll make them yours again! All you need to do is follow the tips below.
I swear it’s not clickbait – I have so much wisdom to share with you!
What To Text Your Ex After No Contact
If you’ve been wondering what to text your ex after no contact, here are 9 pro tips to help you out:
1. Everybody loves to laugh
What’s better than reminding your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend of how funny you are?
Make sure to save the best memes, particularly ones that have to do with your relationship.
If you want to win them back, it’s always best to strike a chord with a personal joke rather than a random funny pic you found on social media.
That’s why I won’t give you any examples. That would be your task. Use that good memory of yours to your advantage!
Think of the times you both laughed to tears. What was it about? Connect the message to that somehow.
Having fun with someone brings us closer together because we all want to enjoy life the best we can. Besides, there’s nothing more attractive than someone with a sense of humor.
So, before anything else, make them laugh. Remind them once more how good life with you was and how it still can be.
2. Similarities are crucial
Who doesn’t adore people with the same interests as us?
The conversations can never be too long because we’re both obsessing over the same things with no shame whatsoever.
If you’re wondering what to text your ex after no contact, this is definitely the way to go. You need to remind them how similar you are. It will definitely make your ex miss you.
Let’s say you both enjoy the same TV shows. Then the first text can be an in-depth analysis of your favorite characters. Or find a meme related to it.
And… the secret ingredient that I always like to add: ENTHUSIASM.
Yes. It’s not enough to just talk about it. You have to genuinely enjoy the conversation because people who get excited over small things are just irresistible (especially when you still have feelings for them).
3. There’s a question for every answer
I know this one sounds generic and boring, but it doesn’t have to be so.
Ask your ex about their life. Check in to see what they’ve been doing and how they’ve been. Or wish them a happy birthday if you’re lucky enough with the timing!
But, the key is being genuinely curious.
Don’t ask just for the sake of saying something. This can turn into the most interesting conversation ever if you only lead it in the right direction.
Every time they answer your question, dig deeper.
For instance, if they say that they’re stressed because it’s exam period, don’t be like, “Oh, that sucks.”
Find out what is making them so stressed. Are they generally having a hard time right now? Or are the exams just too difficult? How are they handling the stress? You can also offer some of your own tips.
The point here is to show an interest in your ex’s life. If they see how much you care, they will be more drawn to you.
But, of course, also make sure that you share your own stories. There’s probably a lot that has happened since the last time you talked.
So, if you’re not sure what to text your ex after no contact, you could try mentioning your new job and the new friends you’ve made. It should never only be a one-way street.
I’m always thankful when someone considers me important enough to share random details about their day. Trust me, your ex will, too.
4. We all want to be superheroes
Asking for help is also brilliant if you’re wondering what to text your ex after no contact.
Everybody likes being useful, especially if they’re in love with you. So, think about what they’re good at and find the proper time to ask them for a favor.
For example, if your ex is very tech-savvy, and you have the knowledge of a 90-year-old in such matters, create a problem for them to solve.
This will make them very happy, even more so if it’s a man. You will trigger his hero instinct, and he will do everything in his power to make you feel happy and protected.
Although the same goes for women, too. We all want to be there for our loved ones, so following this tip is never the wrong way to go.
5. It’s time for new beginnings
This one’s more about how NOT to initiate contact with your ex. You don’t want to involve them in your own drama as soon as you reach out.
Of course, sharing is nice, and necessary at that, but leave it for later. Stick to lighter topics at first, topics that will make you both happy.
More importantly, don’t mention the issues that made you break up. It may be important to address them, but you have plenty of time for that. Let’s reconnect with them first.
It’s much better to show them what a different person you are after so many months of no contact than it is to talk about it. Communication is healthy, but it means nothing without effort.
Show them that you’re ready for new beginnings, both in your personal life and in the life you plan to have with them.
When your ex notices your transformation, I guarantee you they will want you back.
6. It all starts with self-improvement
What made you break up? Was it a lack of maturity? Jealousy? Personal issues? Whatever it was, it’s important that you show your ex how much you’ve changed.
Keyword: SHOW, not SAY.
For example, if you were jealous, it’s not enough to say, “I don’t struggle with jealousy anymore. I’m past that.”
You have to prove it with your ACTIONS.
Don’t be in a hurry either. Wait for the right moment.
Don’t get mad, if your ex mentions that they were having coffee with a (fe)male friend. Ask them how it was and take the conversation in a whole new direction. Yes, you read that right.
If your goal is to show that you don’t mind them going out with (fe)male friends, the point is not to focus on it too much. Ask a few questions, and then move on to the next topic.
HOWEVER, don’t pretend that you’re unbothered when you clearly are.
This is why I recommend dealing with your own problems before contacting your ex.
Only when you TRULY remove the issue that made you break up can you get back together; otherwise, history will only repeat itself, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?
7. Let the past do its magic
If you’re stuck wondering, ”What do I text my ex?” try asking yourself these questions:
What did they like most about you? Was it your empathy? Your curiosity? Your love for intellectual debates?
Whatever it was, make sure to be THAT person. If they enjoy your intelligence, why not reach out with an intriguing thought that will spark an interesting conversation?
Or, if they like how affected you get by other people’s troubles, open up to them about a recent tragedy.
I know I said no drama, but not everything is black and white.
You know your ex-partner the best. If they’re the type of person who will be interested even if the conversation is a bit sad, then why not do it?
The key here is to show them how you are still the person they loved.
So, accentuate all the traits that made them fall in love with you all the while showing how your flaws are a thing of the past.
Trust me, this will make them think about you all the time.
8. Wear your heart on your sleeve
Maybe your ex hasn’t tried to contact you, but why not take the first step?
Honesty is the best policy because life is too short for games. If you want your ex back, that’s exactly what you should say.
Besides, you probably know each other all too well. Why hide what you want?
Let me tell you a few benefits of following this tip:
1. If you tell them that you still love them, you appear as a confident person who fights for what they want.
Both of you probably find it awkward as hell to initiate conversation after the no contact rule, yet you so bravely went straight to the point. Who wouldn’t want a partner who doesn’t give up on us so easily?
2. When you’re honest, you encourage honesty in the other person.
The result is two partners being emotionally vulnerable with each other. And what does emotional vulnerability give you?
The more honest you are, the deeper the connection.
3. You will make them feel loved.
I mean, imagine someone coming back to you months after the breakup. How flattering is that?
Show them how unforgettable they are and how you wouldn’t replace them for the world.
4. Why not?
You only have one life, and it’s best to make it easier for both parties to cut right to the chase.
That’s what I do. I always remind myself that I’m a mere mortal who won’t roam the earth forever. I know it sounds depressing, but it’s all about perception.
Death can be inspiring because it can make us do things. Let’s use our time here wisely. Let’s go after the thing we want.
P.S. First, make sure to mark step 6 as done. If you haven’t solved the core issues, loving them won’t be enough (sadly).
9. A date is in order
Now that you’ve told them you miss them, it’s time to take some action. Make the first move and ask them to meet up for coffee.
Even better, take them out for that dessert they love so much or go to that pizza place you were at almost every day.
The more personal it is, the better. But, the main goal is to show them that you want to spend time with them.
Texting is nice, and you CAN connect with someone over a text message, but it doesn’t come close to face-to-face conversation, hearing the sound of their voice, or hugging them.
So, try reconnecting with them in real life. It will be even easier to win back their heart this way.
If the period of no contact made things too awkward for you, then you can move more gradually. How about making a phone call or at least recording a voice message?
Take baby steps if it’s easier for you until you finally muster the courage to ask them out.
Trust me, if they missed you during no contact, they will say yes.
How To Act After The No Contact Period
But how do you actually behave when you text your ex in the first place? Here’s how:
1. Take it slow
You’ve broken up for a reason, and you can’t expect things to go back to how they used to be as soon as you first contact your ex.
So, don’t text them too much or, if you do, don’t get mad when they don’t text back immediately or even the next day.
Even if you sent the text last week, that doesn’t mean that all hell broke loose. Just be a bit more patient.
Maybe your ex needs a bit more time to adjust to the idea of you as partners again, or maybe they are just pretending to be over you.
Think about it this way. You are no longer partners. You don’t owe each other anything. If you decide to start talking again, that’s just giving each other a second chance.
But, it still doesn’t mean that you have to be there for each other as you once were. It’s healthy to set boundaries even in a relationship but even more so when you’re not in one.
So, try to be more understanding when your ex ignores you, and give your past relationship enough time to recover, so your new relationship can evolve.
2. Don’t play games
This is very important. I know you think games will get you somewhere, but they only stir up unnecessary drama and prolong getting what you want, aka a relationship.
It’s simple. You like someone – tell them. You have certain boundaries – let them know.
Express your own wishes and needs and respect what your ex wants and needs.
Trust me, honesty makes things much easier. I know you’re tempted to lie because people made you believe that’s the best way to achieve your goal, but it’s immature.
The world would be a much better place if we were more honest. Start making it better by saying something truthful to a loved one right this moment.
Go on. I’ll wait.
3. Admit your mistakes
I don’t just mean your past mistakes. If you notice that you made your ex upset in any way, take responsibility for your actions.
Don’t play the victim. Don’t make them believe that they’re bothered for no valid reason.
Every time I get upset or make someone else upset, I remember the words I once read: ”If you hurt someone, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”
And honestly, it has changed my life for the better. We are usually too selfish and prone to being defensive.
While it IS important to stand up for ourselves, it is equally important to admit when we’re wrong. So, start practicing that, and you’ll see how much healthier all your relationships will be.
4. Address problems directly
If there is any kind of problem, don’t ignore it. Don’t suppress negative feelings hoping they will all go away. Newsflash – THEY WON’T.
Problems go away only when you deal with them. I know it’s hard sometimes because they never teach us that being direct is the way to go.
Changing your core beliefs is extremely difficult, but at least you can start by being aware of how wrong suppression is.
Once you realize that openness improves your relationships, you’ll do it more and more often.
To be honest, it’s enough to do it only once. Even after the very first time, you’ll see that it’s not such a big deal at all.
See? I wasn’t tricking you! I am full of helpful advice on what to text your ex after no contact. How wouldn’t I be when I’ve been pining over the same person for years? You could say I’m a relationship coach now.
Everything I’ve shared with you, I’ve tried myself. It worked for me, and I know it will work for you as well.
You only need to pay attention to the ‘personal’ aspect of everything that you do. No person is the same, so you use your knowledge to your advantage.
My fellow reader, good luck to you!