When you break up with a guy whom you still have feelings for, the natural thing is that you try to get him back. But instead of chasing him around and telling him how much you miss him, why wouldn’t you change the record? How about you ask yourself: Will he miss me if I leave him alone?
I will give you the answer to this question right away: Yes, he probably will. Actually, you have more of a chance of getting him back this way than doing the usual- stalking him and lamenting that you can’t live without him.
I’m the right person to tell you this because I was you. After a massive heartbreak, I made my ex miss me using this method.
Yes, he was emotionally unavailable. Yes, he was a prick to me sometimes.
No, he might not be the right man for me but I couldn’t help but miss my ex and all I wanted to know was if he missed me too.
I was hoping he did, at least now that I had left him alone and given him the space he wanted. It’s been hard, much harder than I ever thought possible.
We used to hang out, we spent a lot of time together talking and having fun, we used to text every day, he was my first phone call whenever something good or something bad happened.
For the first time, I was missing more than just an ex-boyfriend, I was missing my best friend and I couldn’t make peace with that.
So, I made the mistake most of us make in situations like this—I kept obsessing about why it all had to go down that way and I wanted him to give me answers.
The more I persisted, the further away he was from me. I just couldn’t pull myself away from him and I used every opportunity to text him or be near him again.
I wasn’t doing myself a favor, I was just sabotaging my chances to get back with him ever again.
I chased him for about a month and a half without any progress until reality slapped me in the face and I knew exactly what to do. I stopped asking, obsessing and chasing.
Unlike you, I didn’t have the answer to the question: Will he miss me if I go no contact? But I decided to give it a shot. After all, I had nothing to lose.
Once I gave him the space to miss me, he actually started missing me.
So here’s my dating advice for all of you who want to make your ex miss you.
The question: ‘Will he miss me if I walk away?’ The answer: Most probably YES
You should never go into clingy mode and chase after him. Even if you notice that he enjoys being chased, that doesn’t mean it’s a good way to go.
First of all, you shouldn’t be chased either. He should be the one meeting you somewhere in the middle by putting in the same effort and making the same investments.
He shouldn’t lead you on by playing hot and cold or some other mind games.
Chasing after him will lead you nowhere, so the best thing you can do is stop trying.
Ignoring him to get his attention is the best method you can use if there is any chance of making your relationship work.
Effective Ways To Make Him Miss You
Reverse psychology is everything
The truth is if he is afraid to commit or if something in his relationship with you is making him look for a way out, the harder you try to keep him, the further the gap between you will be. That’s why you have to use reverse psychology.
Reverse psychology basically means doing the opposite of what he would expect you to do.
He would expect a random text from you; you know, the kind of text you send, wanting to be just casual and friendly, to check up on him.
Don’t do that. On a subconscious level, it will send him the message that you are desperate.
Men like to be needed but they don’t appreciate being run after. Men are born hunters so they will inevitably go after what they want.
If he actually needs some time to figure things out, he will hunt you down the moment he is ready to do so. If not, there is, unfortunately, nothing you can do about it.
Don’t send that text
Sending him texts is the trickiest form of communication. Text messages provide us with a sense of fake security.
We don’t have to see him or hear his voice, so we avoid feeling shy or embarrassed by something that we might say.
So we send a text and another text and when all the texts are left unanswered, we send some more.
We even send those long texts where we explain everything that lies in our hearts. But we only sabotage our chances by doing so.
Instead of giving him a chance to miss us, we keep on suffocating him, which can only result in him running even further away from us.
If I Don’t Text Him Will He Miss Me?
If we want him to miss us and if we want a chance for him to change his mind, we have to restrain ourselves from texting.
Not only that: we also have to hold back from any other form of communication for that matter. He can’t miss us if we are still present.
Give him space to miss you
He needs a chance to see what he is missing out on. All that you mean to him, all that he has with you, all that you have done for him, he might be taking for granted.
He needs to miss your smile, your attentive ear, all of your support and affection. He has to miss your love so he can see how it feels to live without it.
Unfortunately, people are sometimes unable to see what they have while they have it.
That’s why they recognize the true value of other people in their life only after they almost lose them.
So let him lose you, let him be deprived of everything you are and everything you have been giving into the relationship. If he doesn’t miss you then he was never worthy of your time.
Remember who you are without him
What I realized from my time apart with my boyfriend was that I wasn’t only missing him; I missed myself too.
Somehow, along the way, I lost sight of the things that mattered to me. I neglected my friends.
I dropped my interests as if they didn’t matter. I forgot how my smile looked if he wasn’t the one putting it on my face.
I should have never done that. And neither should you. The thing is, we need to love ourselves truly and wholeheartedly so that someone else can love us too.
And that’s not a cliché, that’s God’s honest truth. Sometimes we are so into a person that we unwillingly change so much. We fit their needs and forget that we have our own.
We go all the way instead of meeting them halfway, instead of acknowledging that we had a life before them and that we will have one after them.
That’s why we need to take back our life and become the best versions of ourselves.
We have to remember to love ourselves more each day.
We have to value the people in our life who are always there for us.
They are the ones who are happy for our good days and they are there standing right next to us on our bad days and we should never forget that.
We have to start doing things for ourselves.
The first place in our life should be reserved for us and that kind of thinking is not selfish, it’s necessary and no matter the outcome, having our own life regardless of our relationship status will do us some good.
We have to remember that our significant other should be an important part of our life but never our entire life.
If you are still friends on Facebook or follow each other on Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat, don’t display your emotions too bluntly for him and everyone else to see.
For starters, that will give some petty people the excuse to gloat or comfort themselves by seeing that not only their life is miserable.
Second and foremost, he will see right through you and you will get the same effect you would get by sending texts; it would make you seem desperate.
He would probably feel sorry for you and that’s surely not something you want to achieve.
The best thing to do is not to post anything on social media, at least for a while.
Then if you still have the need to post something, be smart about it.
Post something that subtly hints at your emotions, like someone else’s story you would like to share or a song that might trigger something in him.
Change your profile photo from time to time, to let him see what he is missing out on.
What I am saying here is you can use social media as a little boost that he needs to trigger his emotions and make him miss you.
But if you overdo it and overshare, it can backfire and the results will be completely opposite to those you hoped for.
You will run into him, it’s just a matter of time so be prepared
And it is going to be painful. It will hurt looking at him and not having him in your life.
I have been there. I was crumbling on the inside but I was keeping my cool on the outside (at least I thought I was pulling it off).
I remember going home and crying my heart out. Just thinking about that now is painful and surviving that moment was even worse.
You don’t have to act tough if you don’t feel tough at that moment.
I was OK with myself at that point and because of it, the situation was easier to handle.
Although it is not always easy, somehow, after all of it, I was proud of how things ended.
He even asked how I was. I said I was OK. I didn’t lie. For me, OK is somewhere in the middle between completely devastated and completely great.
I guess OK is the best I could have been, given the circumstances.
It also confused him that I engaged in small talk and skipped all the big words I wanted to say. That wasn’t like me. I always spoke my mind.
I guess at this point he knew that I had now learned the difference between want and need.
I wanted him desperately in my life but I didn’t need him. And that made all the difference.
He knew if he didn’t get himself together that he might risk losing me forever.
The mutual friends factor
Similar to social media posts, mutual friends or even co-workers can be either beneficial or destructive to your chances of patching things up.
He might share a similar feeling of closeness toward your mutual friends, so they can let you in on how things are going on his side of the fence.
But that communication goes both ways, so know that whatever you say might reach his ears too.
Be careful of what you want him to know. Reveal a little but keep some things to yourself.
The mystery of not knowing whether you are missing him or not might be just the thing that will make him wonder why he has no information about you.
Is it possible that you have forgotten all about him and let him go? He won’t be able to get it out of his mind.
But be careful. Although these tactics with social media and mutual friends work, they will only awaken emotions in someone who has true ones.
So, if he is not serious about you, if his feelings are not true, these tactics will be short-term.
He will just come back to see if he can. He will want to find out if you are still in love with him and you have been missing him. He doesn’t plan on staying.
The no contact rule is a blessing in itself
A lot of people use the no contact rule either to get their ex back or to make the healing process easier on themselves.
Personally, I used it on two occasions—once before when I wanted to get over my toxic ex and then when I wanted my runaway boyfriend back, and it was beneficial in both cases.
The no contact rule means just that—following the rule of having absolutely no contact with your ex for a certain period of time.
No texts or calls, unfriending on Facebook, unfollowing on Instagram; it means no communication whatsoever for a certain period of time or indefinitely (depending on the situation) and not even if he contacts you.
This no-contact period serves you to reevaluate your feelings and see where you stand.
It’s a great way to get some much-needed distance, get some perspective, and see whether you have something worth waiting for or if it’s better to go no contact forever.
Will He Miss Me If I Don’t Contact Him?
When you want your ex back, this rule is important because it gives him a chance to see how bitter life tastes without you in it.
We are getting back to the fact that it’s important to give him enough space and time to miss you.
He has to see all that he is losing by not having you in his life.
It seems it’s common for most men, especially those with commitment issues, to recognize the value of a woman only after they almost lose her forever.
A rebound relationship is never a good option
It’s not good for you because you just had your heart broken into a million tiny pieces and you can’t fix it by entering into a new relationship.
It’s not a good strategy to make your ex miss you because if you are on a break, he will assume that you got over him quickly and that you are no longer interested.
We are not in high school anymore and he won’t chase you after he sees his ex-girlfriend with somebody else—he will simply call it quits.
In case of a long-distance relationship, do this
But what about a long-distance relationship? Does this approach still work? Yes, it does- you just have to modify it a bit.
You may not run the risk of running into him the next day or any time soon, so that’s one of the things that’s a bit helpful.
However, daily communication is something he is used to.
He is used to having you a phone call away. But what happens when that’s no longer an option? When you deny him all contact?
Because even if he said he wanted space, he will probably come back at some point.
But if he is not ready for a serious relationship, he shouldn’t exploit your time.
You shouldn’t listen to his daily dramas and have some meaningless conversations when he knows you have strong feelings.
The only way to make a man miss you is to leave him alone completely.
Remaining in contact with him will give him some kind of make-believe notion that you are still a part of his life even though he is not ready to make even the smallest commitment.
If you are constantly in contact, he won’t miss you emotionally and he is already used to missing you physically so he considers that to be the normal state of things.
The right thing is to show him that you want all or nothing. If he really misses you, he won’t be able to stand not hearing from you for too long.
If he doesn’t, at least you will know where you stand and that it’s time you move on.
Does Silence Make A Man Miss You?
The most effective way to make your ex think about you is by giving him the silent treatment. I know it’s hard but if you manage to do this, he’ll wonder where you’ve been and if you’ve already stopped loving him.
On the other hand, if you’re at a hand’s reach, he’ll continue taking you for granted. If you contact him, tell him: “I miss you” or beg for a second chance, he’ll be aware that he can have you whenever he wants.
So why would he go back together with you right now? You’re obviously waiting for him, no matter what and your relationship is the last thing on his mind.
Therefore, he’d rather enjoy his bachelor life and explore other options with some new girls. If nothing works out, he’ll always have you as his backup plan.
I’m sorry for being so harsh and for breaking your bubble but this is the truth. This is how most men think and it’s your job to prove him wrong.
On the other hand, if you disappear from his life, he’ll get scared of losing you forever.
Besides, he’ll realize that now you have incredibly high self-esteem. He better get you back as soon as possible, before you understand that you can do much better.
How Can You Tell If A Guy Misses You?
When you’re in love, you have a hard time identifying the other person’s feelings, even if all the telltale signs are right in front of you. That’s exactly why you keep asking yourself: “Will he come back?”. Well, if he displays some of the following behavioral patterns, you can be sure that you’re still in his mind and heart.
He reaches out
Lucky for you, you’re not one of those girls who keep on wondering: “Will my ex call or text me?” because he does it all the time. Maybe you two decided to stay good friends after the break-up but trust me, he wouldn’t be reaching out that much if he stopped loving you.
Sometimes, you even wonder if you two even broke up. He texts you all the time as if you’re still together.
Not only that: he also asks you out. It’s not that he’ll ask you out for a real date. On the contrary, he’ll be finding different excuses to spend time with you.
This man still asks for your advice. He values your opinion over everyone else’s and it’s clear he seeks your validation.
If you heard from your ex yesterday for the last time but you two are not together for weeks or even months- this man is still crazy about you and I can bet my life on it.
He doesn’t have a serious relationship
If you want to know how your ex-boyfriend feels about you, all you have to do is observe his love life carefully. There are two possible scenarios here.
He’s either jumping from one new girl to another or he’s become forever alone.
In the first case, it’s clear that he is incapable of building a long-term relationship. But we both know he’s not incapable of loving. After all, he loved you very much.
It’s just that he’s incapable of loving anyone else besides you. He’s probably searching for you in every woman he meets. But hey, he’s perfectly aware that you’re nowhere to be found.
He might be acting like this because he lost his sense of self-worth as well. Losing you destroyed his self-esteem and now he is looking for validation from all those other women.
He wants to prove to himself (and to you) that he can get over you. Nevertheless, things aren’t going exactly as he planned.
On the other hand, he’s never gotten back into the dating pool. He suffers for you in silence and secretly hopes to have you back.
He’s aware of what he lost and he knows he could never love another woman the way he loved you. This man misses you incredibly and he waits for your return patiently.
The next thing you should pay special attention to is social media. Is he the first one to watch your stories? Or if you blocked him, did a bunch of fake accounts suddenly tried to follow you?
If the answer is yes- there is no doubt about the way he feels about you. He probably tries to but this man simply can’t let go of you.
Not only that: if you take a sneak peek at his accounts, you’ll also find a lot of interesting stuff. He constantly posts things that remind him of you.
It’s like he deliberately provokes you using his profiles. He posts some seemingly irrelevant, little things nobody else would understand but will trigger you- such as your songs, inside jokes, or selfies from your favorite place.
He is jealous
This man is no longer your boyfriend. Therefore, he has no right of being jealous if you’ve moved on. But he clearly is.
He can’t stand the fact that you started dating again, let alone that you might have a new boyfriend. Every time he suspects you’ve “replaced” him, he goes absolutely crazy.
All of the sudden, he comes back to your life, trying to ruin your chances with every new guy who might have appeared in the meantime.
I have to be honest with you- this doesn’t necessarily mean he loves you. It might as well be his ego talking.
Nevertheless, the truth is that he misses you, regardless of the reasons hiding behind it.
He talks about you to everyone
It’s like this man can’t shut up about you. He is probably talking about how you were the best girlfriend he’s ever had.
But even if he talks trash about you- it’s clear that he can’t kick you out of his heart and mind. You might not be present in his life physically but he definitely still does think about you all the time.
He talks about you and your relationship to literally everyone and especially to your mutual friends. He hopes that you’ll find out about it and reach out to him first.
Why Should You Leave Him Alone?
Don’t ask yourself just: “Will he miss me if I move away?” Ask yourself: “What good will this distance bring to me personally?” Trust me- there are plenty of reasons to do this and here are the most important ones.
- Begging is not an option
You should never ask for somebody’s attention. You should never beg for someone’s time or affection.
You should never, ever, under any circumstances, beg someone to stay if they are already one foot out of the door. They will leave regardless of what you do or what you say.
The thing is, if you look past your heartbreak and see the reality that someone wants to be left alone, there is no other way but to let them go, no matter how hard it is.
It’s never a good idea to beg for someone’s love. Love should be given freely. It should come naturally to both of you and it can’t be forced.
- Exploring other options
Once you know things have definitely ended with your ex, then give yourself a shot with something new.
While you are busy running back to your ex, you might be missing out on somebody new who is worth your while.
So go out on that first date. Let them ask you how you’ve been this last week since you met them, crack a joke, laugh, get away from everything.
It seems simple but it beats drowning your tears in ice cream, wondering if he misses you.
- You can’t lose what’s yours
If you are still asking yourself, “Does he miss me?” or, “Will he miss me if I leave him alone?” then
I have to admit that I can’t answer that for you because it depends on your individual situation.
But what I can tell you is that it’s worth the risk. It’s worth testing his real feelings and it’s better to do so sooner in the relationship rather than later.
This all probably sounds a bit scary and you may be afraid to let destiny take its course.
But the truth is, whatever you do, you can’t influence the outcome.
Things always happen the way that they are supposed to. And while we can influence a lot of things, this is one of those that are out of our hands.
We can’t force love. We shouldn’t have to convince anybody that we are worthy of their presence.
We shouldn’t and, most importantly, we can’t. There are no texts, no calls, and no words that can bring somebody back if he already decided that he left for good.
But if someone is in-between, if someone is questioning things because of their own personal issues and some fears they might have, isn’t it better to leave them alone and let them miss you?
If you chase after them, they will definitely pull away. That’s why the best thing to do is not do anything at all. If he misses you, he will come back.
If he doesn’t, he was never meant to be in your life anyway. You can never keep someone who isn’t meant to stay.
Now that you’ve got the answer to the question: “Will he miss me if I leave him in peace?”, all you have to do is follow each step carefully and I promise that he’ll come begging for a second chance in no time.
I won’t lie to you- it’s not a piece of cake. You’ll have a hard time trying not to contact someone you love so much.
But every time you think you won’t make it, just think of the results you’ll get if you be a little more patient and play your cards right.
Tuesday 21st of February 2023
Does this work for narcissist also?