After years and multiple failed relationships, dozens of never-explained situationships, a couple of really bad heartbreaks, a million questions, and the same amount of sleepless nights, I am sure about one thing:
People only appreciate what they no longer have.
So, you broke up with him. Maybe he was the one who decided to part ways. Maybe you instigated the breakup because he treated you poorly. Whatever the situation, you miss him like crazy.
And God help me, you want your ex back so bad! Or no, wait…you want him to want you back!
You want him to realize what an extraordinarily amazing woman he had…and lost.
I’ve been there. And frankly, occasionally still fighting the urge to post that pic and make him suffer!
But darling, proving your worth to anyone will only make you feel worse and ruin your self-esteem in the long run. If they didn’t see it before, what’s gonna change now?
Cut him off, he will miss you! I swear by the no contact rule, and I’m gonna tell you why you should too.
Cut Him Off, He Will Miss You: 6 Reasons You Should Do It NOW
No contact doesn’t mean you’ll stop yourself from reaching out to him via WhatsApp but keep him on Instagram. No contact means the man is banned on every platform out there.
Since I have done it many times (more than I’m happy to admit), I’ll tell you the basic rules: you block his number, his Instagram, and, if necessary, his best friend’s Instagram. You don’t spy on your mutual friends hoping to find out something about him.
This is probably not the first time you’ve promised to cut him off. But this time, you should really do it. I’ll tell you why.
1. He’s gonna notice your absence
Maybe if you post a killer Instagram story, you’re gonna make him regret losing you. Or if you send him a text message to wish him a merry Xmas, he’s gonna realize that you were so good to him…
Then you post a bomb selfie, and everybody’s going crazy over how hot you are. Everybody except him. He’s doing it on purpose, right? He’s ignoring you, but deep inside, he’s dying?
The answer is no. No matter what you do, he’s not gonna notice. You were as beautiful and amazing then as you are now. If he didn’t appreciate it back then, he’s not gonna now.
However, there is one thing that will not go unnoticed: your absence!
I’m not saying you should obsess over how he feels and what he thinks, but if you are eager to make your ex miss you, cut him off.
2. He will wonder what’s happening
While you two were official, a lot of the time you felt like he didn’t appreciate you enough. He took you for granted assuming that you were going to be there forever.
Now that you’re not part of his life anymore and he has no access to you, he will be dying to know what’s going on in your life.
Are you dating someone new? Are you happy? How come you don’t want to see what’s happening in his life? Wait, you’re not even jealous that he’s dating someone new?
Nothing will hurt his ego more than knowing that you don’t care. Indifference hurts.
3. He will miss you
That’s what my experience has taught me: if you want to make a man miss you, you have to show him that you don’t miss him.
People, in general, take things (and people) for granted. Once we get used to something, we start perceiving it as something permanently ours. We understand the real value of things only when we lose them.
It happens all the time, especially in long-term relationships. Partners stop noticing little things about each other and often focus on things they do not have. The grass is always greener on the other side…
By cutting him off, you will take away from him something that he got used to: your presence, your texts, your calls, your love for him. And when he doesn’t have those things anymore, that’s when he will start missing them.
4. You will save yourself from agony
This is one of the most important reasons to cut him off completely. Do it for the sake of your peace.
Why would you check out his social media? Each time you see him happy, having fun, and living his best life, you will feel sad and desperate.
You mean so little to him, right?
Instead of wasting your energy on stalking your ex-boyfriend, you should focus on your own life. You know that I shouldn’t have to be telling you this.
Now click that unfollow/unfriend/block button and start enjoying your day. Or at least pretend. Fake it till you make it, they say.
5. You will feel powerful
Every time you chase people who don’t want you or beg for love and attention, you’re taking away your own power. Every time you put somebody on a pedestal and let their actions define how you feel about yourself, you give them complete power over you.
Cutting him off is not only about making him miss you. It’s more about protecting yourself now when you are the most vulnerable and bringing back your power. It’s about putting yourself first and letting him see what he lost.
Being able to cut the cord will give you a feeling of immense power and strength.
6. You will look powerful
When you feel strong and confident, you look amazing.
In his eyes, you will look like the most confident and strongest girl in the world.
He expected you to cry and be at your lowest. He expected you to be all over his social media, maybe even calling him and sending him text messages.
But look at you, living your best life, minding your business, and thriving. He’s gonna want a second chance with you in no time.
When Should I Cut Him Off Completely?
There are cases when a cut-off is, I would say, mandatory: if a guy has cheated on you, if he abused you in any way, or if he treated you with disrespect. We’ll discuss each case.
First, let’s make it clear, you don’t need to go radio silence on every guy you broke up with. That’s not the level of badassery we want to attain.
I personally think that reducing the level of communication with your ex, especially right after a breakup, is definitely a must.
But if you ended on good terms and the breakup didn’t make you hurt (more than a normal amount) or resentful, you don’t have to delete them from the face of the earth.
However, abuse, cheating, or partners who treat you poorly don’t deserve a chance to even get a glimpse of your life.
1. He abused you
There’s no reason, under any circumstances, to stay in contact with someone who hurt and abused you. Whether it was physical or emotional abuse, you should cut that person off completely.
First and most importantly, you should do it for your own safety.
The second thing is that you don’t want him to think that you are broken and devastated. Show him that you don’t need him and that he has no power over you.
I wouldn’t ever recommend giving an abuser a second chance. Whatever he has done in the past, he can do it again. And most probably will if given the opportunity.
2. He cheated on you
Cheaters do not deserve to be near you or even get a glimpse of your life. Despite all the excuses and explanations he offers (and trust me, he will come up with many), betrayal is non-negotiable.
Every bit of contact with an ex who cheated on you will be a signal that you want him back. He will use it and try to manipulate you into forgiving him.
He will send you text messages the next day saying how he’s thinking about you and that he has never loved anyone more than you. The truth is, he doesn’t feel bad that he cheated – he feels bad that he got caught.
That’s why you need to cut him off immediately. You don’t need explanations because there’s no justification for his actions. He has to lose you to truly understand what he has done.
3. He showed no respect
You gave him a hundred chances, and you accepted hundreds of excuses. He made tons of promises, and he broke as many. It’s the same story over and over again.
He claims he loves you, he says he cares, but his actions don’t follow through.
In this case, the only thing you can do is cut him off. Only when he is faced with the possibility of losing you will he start thinking about his behavior.
Cut him off, he will miss you. Show him that you don’t tolerate disrespect, and he will beg you to have him back.
But consider it thoroughly before making a decision. Is he really going to change?
When Will He Contact Me?
We can’t tell for sure. It depends on many factors.
How much does he really care about you? Was it a one-year relationship or a one-month relationship? Who was the first person to initiate the breakup?
I once did it to a guy I was in a long-distance relationship with. Within the next 48 hours, he was at my door. But the guy was a cheater, so I didn’t take him back.
I also did the same to a guy who wasn’t really sure about his feelings for me. He was hot one moment and cold the next. The outcome: I cut him off and never heard from him again.
You see, anything is possible. If he didn’t care about you and actually wanted an opportunity to escape the situation, he would not bother reaching out to you.
But if he has feelings for you, you’ll probably hear from him over the next few days.
What Should I Do If He Doesn’t Miss Me?
Nothing. You should do nothing. Let go and focus on yourself. The rule “cut him off, he will miss you” only works if a man has feelings for you and is, to some degree, attached to you. That’s something you have no control over.
Love is a matter of choice and cannot be forced upon anyone. If he cares about you and is genuinely afraid of losing you, cutting him off can increase the chances of you two ending up together.
But it only works if there are feelings and attachment in the first place. If there weren’t…well, you can’t do much about it. You can’t force anyone to love you and care for you.
What you can do is go on with your life and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. If they don’t miss you after you are gone, be grateful for the answer and move on with your life.
The right person will know your worth and fight for you.
Conclusion
Cut him off, he will miss you because people don’t value what they have until it’s gone.
Hard times require hard decisions. If you have made the decision to cut someone off completely, it means you’ve been through a lot with that person. If there’s any other way to fix the situation, you would have done it already.
The thing is, when you cut him off, it doesn’t mean you necessarily want him back. What you want back are your power and control. You don’t want to look desperate and miserable.
No contact will give you space and time to regain your strength and clarity.
When you show him that you are perfectly capable of going on without him, he will become crazy about you again.
If not, it means there was never potential to grow in the first place. You win either way. Good luck!