Should I block my ex on social media? I can’t tell you how many times this annoying, pesky question has rummaged through my mind post-break-up.
Having an ex-boyfriend (or ex-girlfriend) so virtually close at any given moment creates an uneasy and anxiety-ridden environment in which it’s difficult to thrive.
How does one handle being one click away from their ex’s life while expected to not sneak a peek?
How does one survive heartbreak and get through the healing process all the while knowing they are desperate to see what their ex is doing and being so close to finding out?
I get it. Wanting an ex back is a completely natural thing.
You’ve spent such a huge chunk of life together and now he’s just cut out from your life as if he never made a dent in it.
But having an ex present on your social media accounts presents such a tricky situation and sometimes, blocking them on social media is the best way to go. But how do you know for sure? You’ve got so much history together.
You’ve gone through monumental changes with each other and he was the one by your side when you were scared of reaching out to anyone else.
And now, he’s just gone. The thought of not being with him is almost as gut-churning as seeing him happy on his social media accounts. What if you see him with another girl? You couldn’t possibly handle it.
But at the same time, is not knowing what he’s up to even worse? Right now, this seems like a real nightmare.
The man who used to be your rock is now but a distant memory you’re desperately trying to rid yourself of.
Only you’re not sure if you should go through with it because the repercussions might be more than you can handle…
Here, I’m going to discuss what you need to consider and ask yourself before blocking your ex on social media, as well as explain how your decision could be perceived by your ex-boyfriend.
When an ex blocks you, it always carries a certain weight, and I want you to be mindful of the effect it might have on him, on yourself and your own personal growth.
Clicking unfollow is so easy but waking up the next day and not seeing his Instagram stories and realizing that unfriending him will affect your life in a great way is a whole other ball game.
If you think that blocking your ex on social media might be a bad idea and you’re having second thoughts, I’m here to offer some reasonable reasoning behind your actions to make the process easier.
If you think there might come a time when you’ll want your ex back, it’s all the more reason to educate yourself on all the possible scenarios and not rush this decision.
Reacting out of anger, fear or frustration is the best way to make a wrong decision that’s only going to make you feel good for about two seconds.
And after that, you’ll feel overwhelming sensations of regret, anger and dissatisfaction with your decision that will haunt you for a long time.
I once blocked my husband (a long, long time ago) when we were temporarily broken up and I was with a new partner.
During that period of time, my eyes were truly opened to some bigger truths and here are some helpful things I realized that helped me move forward and find my closure.
Through His Perspective…
Before getting to the part which will help you evaluate whether or not you should block your ex on social media, here’s where we’ll start.
I want to walk you through his head and his through thought process upon seeing he’s been blocked.
You obviously know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it (or your minutes away from finding out below) but he doesn’t.
He’ll see this act as something that it probably isn’t and will therefore arrive at certain conclusions which will make it unlikely to get your ex back.
Have you prepared yourself for the possible consequences? Do you have the slightest idea what might go down if you block your ex?
Here are some of the things he’s likely to think after having been blocked.
1. It might make you seem bitter and resentful
Your ex doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of what’s happening inside your head so he isn’t privy to your reasoning for such actions.
This way, he might perceive it as a sign of your bitterness. And if you ever want your ex back, being bitter is the wrong way to go.
In his eyes, after you unfollow (or block) him, you’re likely to appear resentful and hurt about how things played out and therefore still very much hooked on him.
He might even exaggerate it in his mind to boost his ego and make himself appear as such a strong influence over your decisions.
Is this the message you wish to send him? Is this how you want to be portrayed in his eyes?
Social media platforms are a huge part of young people’s lives these days and therefore, he’ll definitely have a strong opinion about this.
Deciding to unfollow him all the while knowing you’re likely to want your ex back someday is not the smartest decision.
Are you sure you have thought this through?
2. Are you trying to hide something?
This question will pop up in his head as well. Are you trying to hide a new relationship from him?
What’s next… Changing your phone number and never texting him again, just like that?
Have you told your mutual friends not to share any of your personal info with him?
Last week you were his best friend and so close him becoming your fiance and today, you’re realizing you were in a broken relationship and last week was the last time you would call him the love of my life…
Is this how it’s going to be now? Hiding from each other and him not even being able to see your profile picture anymore?
Who knows what’s going on and he sure as hell will picture the worst possible scenario. How is he supposed to know any better?
If you want to get your ex back (at some point in the future) you might want to reconsider blocking him on social media.
It’s a strong message and it’ll hurt your chances of reconciliation.
3. You’re not handling the break-up well
You probably have your own reasons why you should block your ex but he’ll see what he wants to see.
In his head, it’ll seem as if you’re struggling with coping with the break-up.
You’re not doing well and the thought of seeing him on social media every day gives you anxiety.
This gives him all the power. In his mind, he wins the break-up.
He’ll feel sorry for you and that way, you’re highly unlikely to be seen as hot and attractive to him again.
He’ll pity you and see you as this broken girl but he’ll never want to take you back.
This way, he won’t see clearly what he’s losing and whatever you thought you had going for you will be amiss.
4. You’re playing mind games
And he’s simply not having it. This makes you seem completely fake and desperate. Who resorts to this type of thing? Only the weak and defeated.
This will cause him to lose trust in you and your credibility will be seriously shaken. Who are you?
Were you this girl back when you were still a couple but he just never noticed it? If you thought this would make him reach out, think again.
Think about it this way: nobody likes getting played, right?
How would you react to your ex if you thought he was trying to play games with you?
I’m sure you’d think he was weak and pathetic and you’d want nothing to do with him.
You’d definitely never expect to get your ex back in this manner. Well, that’s probably what your ex will think about you.
And if you want to win him back sometime in the future, good luck making that happen through blocking him on social media because it gives you zero chance of getting him back.
5. You’re being childish
If you appear childish and immature, he’s unlikely to get back in touch with you because seeing you like this will push him away.
He wants to see a strong girl who can pick herself up and preserve her dignity throughout the ordeal, not an immature kid who resorts to low blows and tries to get back at her ex in the most unhealthy ways.
This may not be the case but he’ll see it this way.
And if you’re also ignoring his text messages and phone calls while having unfollowed him on social media, what else is he supposed to think?
You’re off-limits to him and if he wanted to talk to you about this, he literally has no platform to do so.
This is why blocking people shouldn’t be a rash decision. You should think it through and weigh up the pros and cons.
Only after being at peace with this decision, knowing you’re doing it for a higher purpose, should you actually go through with it.
Your personal growth is your number one priority.
Through Your Perspective…
Now you’ve seen how this whole thing is likely to play out in his eyes, as you’ve probably noticed, it’s not pretty.
He’ll see it how he chooses to see it and unless you have a conversation about it with him beforehand, things could go off the rails and you’ll never get your ex back.
But now, it’s time to bring the focus back onto you. Now you have to ask yourself some tough questions and search within your soul.
Now is the time where you finally realize what you’re about to do and why you’ve chosen this route.
Are you doing this to create a wall between you and your ex-boyfriend or is there a part of you that still hopes you can get your ex back?
If so, it’s really crucial to ask yourself the following questions before choosing to block him on social media for good.
6. What is your main focus?
This is the first thing you should ask yourself and here’s why. During break-ups and heartbreaks, one often forgets to nourish oneself and take care of what they need at this time.
And I assume this might be the case with you too. In all of this conundrum, you’re likely to have forgotten about yourself, your needs and your wants.
What does your heart yearn for right now? What is your head trying to tell you?
Listen to it and indulge yourself no matter what it is. Right now, you should be your own first choice.
This part of your journey should never be about him. It’s all about you and being your own best friend.
Is your intention to cut your ex out of your life (starting with social media) and focus on a new future where he has no influence over you?
Or do you want to seek reconciliation at some point and by blocking him, you’re merely trying to get his attention (in the worst way imaginable) and make him see what he’s losing?
What is your main focus right now? Your ex or finding yourself again?
7. Will blocking your ex bring you closer to closure?
What is it that you aspire to achieve by blocking him on social media?
Do you seek an understanding of what transpired between you two and you need space in order to figure it all out?
Do you wish to create a much-needed separation from that part of your life in order to focus on closing that chapter?
Those should be your main goals—what you need, as opposed to what his reaction will be.
Unfollowing him should be all about bringing you peace and calm, instead of making you go mad from not seeing his social media platforms.
Is this going to bring you closure? Will you be able to find solace after blocking him and move on for the sake of your own well-being?
Will you be able to get in touch with the girl you once were but no longer see in the mirror?
If blocking him is going to make you gain more than you lose, then by all means, do it.
But if the distance and the not knowing what he’s up to will keep nagging at you, perhaps this is not the best solution.
8. Are you trying to send him a message by blocking him?
Are you trying to be preemptive by blocking him because you feel he might do it first?
Are you holding a grudge because he still hasn’t answered your text message so you hope that by blocking him you’ll let him know how pissed you are?
Are you indirectly (and not-so-subtly) sending him some kind of message? If so, that’s the worst reason to do this.
Never act out of anger or desperation. You’re guaranteed to regret it in the future.
Your best solution here is to be honest and direct with your ex. If you want to let him know about how you’re feeling right now, pick up the phone and call him.
If you’re too sensitive and don’t want to hear his voice, send him a text message. Directness is always the best choice.
Don’t let him come to his own conclusion simply because your ego is telling you to act this way.
Be strong and face this head-on. If you need him to hear something, tell him!
9. Is this only a short-term fix?
Sometimes, we put up barriers that stand in the way of our happiness and we’re totally oblivious to it.
This could be the cause of your emotional downfall. You’re trying to fix this by making a rash decision that you know isn’t going to provide you with long-term happiness.
You’re likely to wake up the next day and feel resentful about blocking him on all his social media accounts instead of being honest about what you really need.
Do you really want to hit that unfollow button or are you just trying to put a Band-Aid on a deep wound?
Don’t you think you’ll start wondering what he’s doing and if he’s in a new relationship and this way, you’ll never be able to know?
It will be eating you alive and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself.
At some point, you’re going to wish to be a part of his life again (not necessarily as his girlfriend) and this will make it extremely difficult.
10. How do you think you’ll feel afterward?
Imagine that you’ve actually gone through with it and you’ve finally blocked him.
Right now, you can’t see his feed, not even his profile picture. He’s vanished from your online reality and the damage is done.
How does this make you feel? Are you at peace and content?
Can you see yourself waking up the next day and feeling satisfied with this decision? Do you feel the urge to check his Instagram?
Do you need to check his Twitter to see what he’s been posting about lately?
These are all questions that will be running through your mind after blocking him.
Are you prepared to take the risk of possibly not ending up fulfilled by this decision?
The aftermath of this will be something to behold. And you should be prepared for the emotional roller coaster you might go through.
Whatever you end up feeling, know this: you’re allowed to change your mind.
It’s not childish to realize that this was a bad decision and correct it. It’s not weird if you suddenly see that you can’t go on without him
This is what it’s all about. Blocking your ex might give you the perspective you’re lacking right now and even if you learn to regret it, at least you’ll know for sure.
There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just you and your gut feeling.
What Have You Learned?
Hopefully, this article has helped you make an educated decision on this tricky matter and helped you move forward with a clear vision of all the possible scenarios.
The most important takeaway I personally hope you have from this is the importance of you.
After suffering heartbreak, we often go through the motions and amidst all the sadness, bitterness and regret, we forget about how to take care of ourself.
We get too focused on our ex and forget to nurture our own well-being.
This is your wake-up call. Your reality check is here to let you know that the right decision is the one you can make today and be sure you won’t regret the next day.
Making a decision while struggling and on the verge of a mental breakdown is detrimental to your own mental health.
When feeling so overwhelmed and anxious, it’s best to take a step back and focus on yourself. Not on your ex, not on his social media and not on getting even.
Do you. Help yourself be better. After having done that and gotten to a happier place, make a decision that is going to go hand in hand with the new you.
Don’t bring yourself down just to show your ex something he won’t even see.
If you want to block him in order to have a clean slate and turn a new page, by all means, go ahead and do it.
But if your only goal is to send him a message, perhaps this is not a wise decision after all.
Listen to your gut feeling and think about your end goal. A temporary solution will bring you temporary happiness.
But a well-thought-out decision will pave a path toward a happier future that is likely to last a long time.