El resplandor tras la ruptura: 5 pasos para ser más feliz
Para muchas personas, las rupturas son dolorosas y desafiantes más que un motivo de alegría. Puede ser difícil escapar de las garras del desamor, incluso cuando sabes que ha sido para bien. When you’re going through the grieving process – and that’s what dealing with a breakup often is – rebuilding yourself is the last thing on your mind.
On the other hand, some people are so relieved to be leaving a toxic relationship that they can’t wait to know what lies ahead, eager to embrace their new reality. For them, a breakup can be motivation to move forward and find out what life has to offer that wasn’t available until now.
If you’re the second kind, the process of rebuilding yourself and moving on might come a little easier, but even if your breakup has left you hurt and nursing a broken heart, you’ll see how it’s possible to overcome the pain and find parts of yourself that you forgot about.
A post breakup glow up isn’t an easy task, but by taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically, it’s possible to not only heal but flourish.
Brillo tras la ruptura en 5 pasos
There’s a prerequisite to achieving a post breakup glow up: aceptar que la ruptura es definitiva y sacar a tu ex de tu vida. Protect your wounded heart and focus on yourself. This is a chance for personal growth and transformation. Remember that you’re better off without this person: adopt a new mindset that’s all about you.
Let’s call this step zero.
Paso 0. Aleja a tu ex de tu vida
Your personal development can’t begin if you’re hung up on your ex – the longer you pay them any attention, the more you’re hurting yourself and delaying the healing process. Don’t let your ex hold you back.
This is going to be hard, but a complete purge is necessary to detox and start the healing process. If you’re constantly reminded of them or seeing what’s going on with them, you’ll keep getting hurt over and over again.
Aleja a tu ex por completo de tu vida. Throw away any gifts they gave you, their stuff lying around, and anything that reminds you of them. Don’t meet up with your ex, and if anyone tries to talk to you about them, politely tell them you’re not interested.
Bloquea y elimina su número de teléfonoDeja de seguirlos y bloquéalos en todas las redes sociales, y haz lo mismo con cualquier persona relacionada con ellos.
Don’t make yourself look at what they’re up to without you – you’ll only feel horrible, and the memories of how they hurt you in the first place will keep resurfacing. The time you’d use to stalk their social media is better used for self-reflection and thinking about your future goals.
Paso 1. Permítete sentir tu dolor
Esta es la parte más difícil, pero por desgracia no hay atajos. Debe pasar por todo el proceso y sentir todas sus emociones complicadas y angustiosas para poder afrontarlas. Darse tiempo y permiso para sentir el dolor y el duelo es una parte crucial del camino hacia la recuperación tras la ruptura.
• Feel your feelings
Lo que sientas será turbulento y desafiante: dolor, traición, soledad, decepción, vergüenza, ira. Debes permitirte sentirlos todos si quieres liberarte de ellos. After you’ve recovered, you’ll realize how empowering it is to deal with your negative emotions in a productive way and transform your pain into something beneficial.
There will be days when it’s going to seem like it’s getting a little easier, only for the anguish to come crashing down the next. Puede que te sientas desesperanzado y desees desesperadamente adormecer los sentimientos abrumadores y dejar de sufrir como sea, pero si aguantas sólo un poco más, el dolor desaparecerá.
• Don’t take shortcuts
You’ll be tempted to engage in self-destructive behavior to cope on those days that seem darker and sweep those feelings under the rug, but you must resist if you don’t want to let the break up leave permanent emotional damage.
Don’t contact your ex bajo ninguna circunstancia. Don’t act like you don’t care and that you’re over your ex before you really feel it. If you want to get over your breakup, you have to actually go through its stages. You’ve experienced the end of a relationship with someone, and your connection with this person can’t immediately disappear.
• Don’t give up
Permítete sentir toda la extensión de tu tristeza. Lamenta tu pérdida. Siente el vacío y permítete echar de menos a alguien que ya no tienes en tu vida. Llora hasta que no te queden lágrimas. Escucha todas las canciones tristes. Date tiempo y experimenta tus sentimientos.
Little by little, you’ll feel the growth and change. One day, you’ll notice that the clouds are clearing up and that once again, you feel hope. Now is the time that you can see the path to self improvement and happiness. You’ve reached the stage where a positive change after hardship – also known as crecimiento traumático – is possible.
Cuando esto ocurra, felicítese porque ha completado el primer y más difícil paso de su resplandor.
Paso 2. Iniciar el proceso de curación
Now that your feelings are easier to handle, you can begin healing. Your heart has been injured, and the worst is over, but it’s still bruised and needs to be treated gently and with care.
• Give yourself time to heal
Todavía puede haber días malos. Sé compasivo contigo mismo y permítete sentir y tomarte tu tiempo. Right now, you don’t need to dig deep and look for answers – while your wound is still fresh, you need all the self-love you can muster.
Cosas como la meditación, afirmaciones de amor propioy la atención plena pueden ser muy útiles. Si te mantienes con los pies en la tierra y te rodeas de positividad, abrirás el camino para recuperar plenamente la alegría.
• Get support
You don’t have to go through it alone. When you’re feeling hurt and heartbroken, rely on your loved ones to help you through it. Spend time with your family and best friends, and don’t be afraid to open up.
Hablar de tu ruptura y de tus sentimientos con personas que te apoyan te hará sentir menos solo y desesperanzado.. Estar cerca de gente que te quiere te recordará que hay otras cosas además de tu ruptura que importan en tu vida. Deja que te ayuden.
• Forgive yourself
Culparte por tu comportamiento en la relación, por las cosas que salieron mal o por la ruptura es inútil. You didn’t ruin your relationship, and you don’t deserve to punish yourself.
It’s not uncommon to do things in a relationship that go against everything you are because you desperately want to hold on to your partner. You might feel like you betrayed yourself, but that’s not true – you did the only thing you could at that moment.
Pasara lo que pasara, debes perdónate a ti mismo para poder seguir adelante. This is non-negotiable, and it might take some time. As long as you remember that you did the best you could and you deserve love and happiness, you’re on the right path.
• Forgive your ex
When you’re at your lowest, your feelings for your ex might fluctuate between longing and hatred. Neither of these is helpful, and debes aprender a dejar ir por tu propio bien.
At first, it’s normal to want your ex to feel the same pain that you’re feeling, but those feelings will only hurt you further. Odiar a tu ex por el dolor que te hizo pasar es comprensible, pero esto va de la mano con odiarte a ti mismo también por dejar que te trataran de esa manera.
Feeling like this is what makes you want to seek revenge, which won’t make you feel better but only prolong the whole experience. Para deshacerte de la ira y el resentimiento, debes perdonar a tu ex. Date cuenta de que su comportamiento no tuvo nada que ver contigo y libérate del pasado.
Paso 3. Concéntrese en su salud mental
When you feel like you’re over your breakup enough to be able to make sense of what happened, it’s time to start working on self-growth. It’s vital to first deal with the mental health issues that are holding you back and can cause you problems in future relationships.
• Regain your amor propio
El primer paso para reconducir tu vida es trabajar tu autoestima. Si tuviste una relación con una persona tóxica o simplemente tu ruptura te desanimó, es posible que tu visión de ti mismo esté deformada y dañada.
It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship, to leave behind the things you love and people who mean a lot to you. Recordar quién eres puede ser un proceso largo, pero debe empezar por respetarte a ti mismo. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend in the same situation.
Deja que tu ruptura sea un catalizador para el cambio. Olvídate de la persona que te faltó al respeto y te hizo daño. Úsalo para empujarte a ti mismo y encontrar tu autoestima. Abre los ojos a lo que esta relación te quitó, y recupéralo.
• Examine your negative thoughts
Pensamientos negativos son las cosas que nos decimos a nosotros mismos y que nos impiden vivir nuestra vida plenamente. They’re damaging and limiting, and you’d never say to another person the mean things you tell yourself. Estar en una relación malsana puede empeorar aún más estos pensamientos.
Insultos and insults, telling yourself that you’re not enough, that you don’t deserve something, that there’s no way someone would pick you over anyone else – estas ideas pueden impedirte vivir tu vida. Cuando estos pensamientos pasan diariamente por tu cabeza, te controlan hasta que te alejas de todo lo que puede darte felicidad.
You must change how you think: learn to recognize your negative thoughts and stop them as soon as they come. Most importantly, don’t believe them! Elige el respeto a ti mismo en lugar del odio a ti mismo. You’re a person, and therefore, you deserve to be happy.
• Deal with your own toxic traits
This time of self-reflection won’t be used well unless you also examine your own behavior and qualities that contribute to the problems in your relationship. Una vez que sepas dónde has cometido errores, podrás empezar a corregirlos.
For instance, what is it that attracts you to people like your ex, or what makes you stay when a relationship doesn’t work? Why did you deja que tu ex te trate maly ¿por qué aceptaste su comportamiento? ¿Qué es lo que te hace creer que te lo mereces?
When you’re honest with yourself about these things, you can apply what you’ve learned to your próxima relación y evitar volver a pasar por lo mismo.
• Discover your boundaries
After going through a breakup, you gain a new perspective and are more equipped to decide what you want and what you don’t want in a partner. Think of qualities your ex had that made your relationship difficult, as well as those that you didn’t mind.
Además de saber qué tipo de persona quieres que sea tu futura pareja, tienes que determinar tu propio límites personales – how you want to be treated and what you won’t accept. Be very serious about these boundaries and be prepared to enforce them.
• Get therapy
Therapy isn’t only for when it’s completely impossible to deal with your problems on your own. It’s especially helpful during transitional periods like breakups.
Talking to someone you don’t know and who listens without prejudice can in itself be transformativeAdemás, el terapeuta le guiará y le ayudará a encontrar soluciones aparentemente obvias que, de otro modo, estarían fuera de su alcance.
Paso 4. Tomarse en serio el autocuidado
Self-care doesn’t mean doing what’s most pleasant – it means doing what’s best for you. Sometimes it’s about pampering yourself, and sometimes it’s about making yourself do your chores. Self-care is kindness, but it’s also tough lovey tienes que ser sincero contigo mismo para saber cuál es la que necesitas en este momento.
• Learn to meet your own needs
¿Qué necesitabas de tu ex (o de cualquier otra persona) para quedarte con él? Aprender a satisfacer tus propias necesidades puede liberarte de depender emocionalmente de nadie.
Necesitas respeto, así que empieza por respetarte a ti mismo. Necesitas amor, así que quiérete a ti mismo. ¿Necesitas sentir que importas? Demuéstratelo a ti mismo. Para conseguir esto y mucho más, empieza por cosas pequeñas. Muéstrate amor con pequeños gestos y respétate siendo sincero sobre cómo te sientes. Encuentra la mejor manera de satisfacer tus necesidades.
Así te resultará mucho más fácil pedir lo que quieres a los demás. When you’re confident that if you don’t get it from someone else, it’s not the end of the world because you know how to do it for yourself.
• Date only yourself for a while
Until your heart has healed and you’re at peace with the breakup and happy with yourself, it’s important not to get into another relationship. You’ll miss your ex and repeat old patterns, which will hurt both you and the other person.
Esta es otra parte de aprender a satisfacer tus propias necesidades. Sal y haz cosas divertidas por tu cuenta. Pasa tiempo con tus amigos y con las personas a las que hayas descuidado durante tu relación. Amplía tu círculo social y acostúmbrate a salir con varias personas.
Date yourself – do whatever it is that you want to do.
• Prioritize your well-being
Sea diligente a la hora de mantenerse sano. Subestimamos hasta qué punto nuestra salud emocional y mental depende de nuestra salud física. Coma bien, duerma lo suficiente y aprender a gestionar el estrés, and you’ll be shocked at how much easier it is to deal with everything life throws at you.
Tu bienestar físico y emocional debe ser tu prioridad. Don’t compromise them for anyone. Learn to say no and have your own back. This will boost your health, your confidence, and your resilience.
• External glow up is optional
Does your glow up have to show on the outside? No. You can use your physical appearance to symbolize all the work you’ve done on the inside, but if you don’t want to do it, it doesn’t mean that you didn’t improve.
Eat healthy and exercise, but forget about ‘revenge body.’ If your desire for change is an impetus that gets you to develop a healthy habit, it’s a good thing, but the idea that you have to become more attractive after a breakup is harmful and will only make things more difficult if you don’t achieve it.
El verdadero significado de un resplandor post ruptura es tómate tu tiempo para curarte y cuídate. You’re enough. You’re doing the best you can, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Your ex and your breakup don’t get any credit for whatever you manage to achieve.
A veces un cambio físico es una buena forma de ayudarte a dejar atrás el pasado y empezar una nueva etapa. You don’t have to get a makeover, but if it makes you happy, go for it. Get a new hairstyle, step up your skincare routine and focus on wellness, but do it to take care of yourself, not because it’s expected of you.
Paso 5. Entra en tu futuro
You spent your relationship helping your ex reach their goals, or you went with the flow and lived your life passively. Changing this isn’t about having to be enthusiastic about every day of your life but haciendo lo que te hace feliz y con ganas de ver qué te depara el futuro.
• Focus on yourself
If you were used to going along and adjusting to your partner’s way of life, it might be hard to figure out how to put yourself first. How do you do it?
Centrarse en uno mismo significa abrazar la propia vida y satisfacer los propios deseos y necesidades.. If you’ve been following the tips to achieve your glow up, you already have a clear idea of what they are.
Con tu ex fuera, nadie te impedirá hacer las cosas que quieras. Travel to the spot you’ve been dreaming about, get that tattoo without someone nagging you about it, party with your friends, or stay in the whole day.
You’re the only one who has a say about how you live your life.
• Learn things and achieve goals
Utiliza tu tiempo sabiamente. Cuando quieras pasar tiempo en tu teléfono, en lugar de desplazarte por TikTok, mira un tutorial de YouTube. Escucha un podcast en otro idioma o aprende por fin a dibujar o a confeccionar tu propia ropa.
The reason why it’s a good idea to learn new things and do them is because consecución de objetivos te da una sensación de logro, que es necesaria para la felicidad. Si te gusta tu trabajo, puedes conseguir tus logros en él o buscar aficiones para ampliar tus intereses.
By feeling like you’re advancing, you’re moving forward in life rather than staying in one place while time passes. Elijas lo que elijas, encuentra algo que te haga sentir así.
• Discover your joy
Este es el paso más importante de todo el proceso de resplandor post ruptura: encuentra lo que te hace feliz.
This is almost one of those important existential questions, but finding the answer to it isn’t as complicated as in some other cases. Te llega a medida que pruebas cosas y descubres cómo te sientes con ellas.
You don’t have to have a passion to be happy, but it helps because doing something you’re passionate about is a atajo a la felicidad. Puede ser cualquier cosa: una actividad creativa, salir con los amigos, ayudar a la gente o algo como maquillarse.
Encuentra cosas que te hagan sonreír y haz tantas como puedas.
El resplandor viene de dentro
After a breakup, there comes pain but also freedom. The relationship that was hurting you is finally over, and you’re free to be yourself. After you take your time to feel your sadness and anger, you’ll see that this is the opportunity to live your life the way you want, with no one holding you back.
El mejor consejo sobre relaciones que puedes recibir en este momento es aprender de tu ruptura. Reflexionar y descubrir cosas sobre uno mismo – how you want to be treated and how you should move on. This is where your post breakup glow up begins.
Vuelve a encarrilar tu vida haciendo lo que quieres y aprendiendo a satisfacer tus propias necesidades. Become the best version of yourself. If you focus on your recovery and not on what you’ve lost, for the first time in a while, you’ll feel like nothing is impossible.
