Chicos Que Necesitan Constante Atención Femenina: 7 señales, porqués y consejos
Buscador de atención (sustantivo): Publicar varios selfies al día (léase: pedir likes en las redes sociales), buscar cumplidos, flirtear con todo el mundo.
Gender stereotyping states that women are the ones who seek more attention than men in real life and on social media. We can’t know if this is true for sure, but one thing definitely is:
Los hombres también pueden ser culpables de maniáticos de la atencióny esto no es algo que deba estar relacionado con el género.. Puedo confirmar que salir con chicos que necesitan atención femenina constante puede ser realmente frustrante, y a menudo grita TEMAS DE INSEGURIDAD.
A veces estas inseguridades provienen de la infancia (hablando de haber crecido en familias disfuncionales y similares), o son rasgos narcisistas.
La verdad sea dicha, there are more reasons why a guy would seek constant female attention, and we’ll talk about that later. First, let’s focus on defining guys who need constant female attention, including the signs they exhibit.
Mi experiencia saliendo con chicos que necesitan atención femenina constante
Antes de pasar a los signos de que los chicos están buscadores de atención, I have a strong urge to share my personal experience regarding them. Here’s a fun fact:
Most of these guys will desperately be looking for attention and then act like they’re annoyed by you paying them attention.
For example, one of these guys once told me: “I no longer enjoy it when people shower me with too much attention.” Ten seconds later, he tells me this: “I guess you didn’t notice that I have a new haircut.”
Seriously? If you’re sick of people paying you attention, then why are you fishing for compliments? ? Well, that was a minor thing probably unworthy of mentioning. What really bothered me most was his tendency to flirt with everyone around him.
Independientemente de si estábamos en la cafetería, en el supermercado o en el parque, siempre encontraba la forma de flirtear con otras mujeres. He’d do it in a sneaky way (e.g., ask them what time it is, play with their child only to start a conversation, or just smile at them).
So, when you tell a guy like this that you’ve had enough of his attention-seeking “sickness,” guess what he’s likely to reply? “WOMAN, YOU’RE OVERREACTING.”
Estuvo a punto de convencerme varias veces de que me estaba imaginando cosas y exagerando, pero cuando hablé con mis amigas, no hicieron más que confirmarme lo que ya sabía.
Los chicos que necesitan atención femenina constante nunca serán capaces de comprometerse plenamente contigo debido a su sed de constante búsqueda de validación and admiration from others. Eventually, you’ll get cansado de mendigar atención y estar en esa situación de limbo.
No hace falta decir que salir con chicos que necesitan atención femenina constante es un gran no-no, PERO no toda la esperanza está perdida para cada uno de ellos. Algunos chicos deciden trabajar en sus problemas de autoestima, autovaloración y salud mental en general.
But the most important thing is that they need to be persistent when it comes to these matters. Only then will there be a brighter prospect in dating them. To help you figure out whether you’re dating one of these guys, keep reading.
7 señales de que tu chico busca atención de verdad
¿Es o no uno de esos tipos que necesitan la atención constante de las mujeres? Bueno, si la mayoría de las siguientes señales coinciden con él, entonces sabes que pertenece al grupo de los que buscan atención.
1. Exceso de selfies
Gym selfies, party selfies, job selfies… There’s not a day that goes by when he hasn’t posted a few selfies of himself, be it at the gym or at home.
That’s his number one way of seeking constant attention from other people. He’s feeding off other people’s likes, comments, etc.
Cada vez que publica un selfie, las redes sociales se llenan de ilusión y esperanza por los likes que se avecinan.
Overdoing selfies has become a problem, but he’s not aware of it. If you tell him that he’s overdoing it, he’ll most likely contradict you.
2. It’s ALL about him
If you start retelling a story of something that happened to you recently, he’ll immediately tell you that he had it worse than you. Whatever the situation, he always finds a way to make it about him.
It’s clear he can never get enough attention from others, which is the biggest red flag. Y si empiezas pidiendo su atención, you’ll be disappointed because he’s too busy seeking attention from others.
If you go shopping, he’ll try on several outfits only for you to pay him compliments on his appearance. When you try on a few outfits yourself, he won’t even bother to look until you ask him. Even then, he’ll probably be busy taking selfies.
3. Pescar cumplidos y elogios es su juego favorito
Por cada pequeña cosa que hace o cada pequeño cambio en su aspecto, busca cumplidos y elogios de los demás. Esto ocurre tanto en la vida real como en las redes sociales.
He’ll often intrusively say something like: ¿Te gusta mi nueva camiseta? ¿Has visto lo que me he hecho en el pelo?
Cuando publica fotos suyas en las redes sociales, suele añadir hashtags como #newhairstyle #coolshirt #rockingthisoutfitetc.
He does this to ensure that others notice and compliment him. Most importantly, he does this to be the center of attention because that’s his lifestyle.
4. La obsesión por los seguidores en las redes sociales es real
His main goal on social media is to have as many followers as possible. The more people he has, the more attention he’ll get from them, right?
This obsession with social media followers is serious because he’s keeping track of people who unfollow him. También puede esperar que dejar de seguirte para llamar la atención.
You often catch him talking rubbish about those who unfollowed him or those who don’t pay him enough attention on social media.
His obsession is real, and it’s becoming a problem in your relationship. It feels like he’s stuck in the virtual world of likes, followers, and everything else that goes with it.
5. La obsesión por su propia apariencia también es una cosa
If he’s not the center of attention, then something’s not right. His obsession with his appearance doesn’t have limits.
A menudo te pide tu opinión sobre su barba, su peinado, su atuendo, sus zapatos, lo que sea. Pasa más tiempo frente al espejo que hablando contigo. Entonces sabrás lo seria que es su obsesión por la apariencia.
He’s constantly focused on upgrading his appearance in the hope of receiving more compliments from others. When you go to a party, he needs to be the best dressed because he wouldn’t survive being in the shadow of other guys.
6. Doesn’t shy away from flirting with EVERYONE
Seeking the attention of others gives him life, and because of that, he doesn’t shy away from flirting with literally everyone. Guys who need constant female attention behave exactly like that.
Aquí suele haber dos opciones:
• You can ignóralo para llamar su atención.
• You can pretend that this doesn’t bother you.
Si le dices que sí te molesta, prepárate para un serio lavado de cerebro porque nunca admitiría su búsqueda de atención.
In my opinion, everything starts with flirting. Soon he’ll find himself guilty of engañar por teléfono y infidelidad emocional que a menudo se convierte en un asunto físico.
7. Cambios de humor frecuentes
If he doesn’t get enough attention from others, he becomes nervous. Think of it like he’s addicted to comportamiento de búsqueda de atención, and when he doesn’t get his dose, he enters crisis mode.
Controlar los cambios de humor is not an easy thing to do, especially for these personalities. If you tell him to come to his senses, he’ll act confused and try to justify his behavior.
Estar en una relación llena de frecuentes cambios de humor es un reto para todos. Tu atención ya no se centra en la relación, sino en su comportamiento de búsqueda de atención.
Well, even mood swings are probably his way of asking for attention. Wherever you turn, he gets what he wants, and you’re the one who feels neglected.
Las 6 causas más comunes de la búsqueda de atención
Some of the main causes of attention-seeking are low self-esteem, jealousy, loneliness, and narcissistic personality disorder. Below you’ll find a list of the most common causes of attention-seeking explained in-depth.
1. 1. Baja autoestima
La falta de amor propio y autoestima puede hacer que las personas estén desesperadas por recibir atención y validación. Generalmente, hombres con baja autoestima son los que flirtean con casi todas las mujeres que conocen.
Quieren sentirse deseadas y necesitadas por otras mujeres y no sólo por ti. Having low self-esteem is a tricky thing because it forces you to do things you normally wouldn’t.
In most cases, those guys are not even aware of what they’re doing. They just know that to them, it feels right because they’re getting what they desperately need: ATTENTION.
We’re talking about selfish acts toward their partners because they pay more attention to others than them.
2. Celos
Este tipo de buscador de atención es uno de los más gente tóxica por ahí. Buscar la atención de los demás es una de las cosas que hacen los tíos para ponerte celosa.
In other words, they kill two birds with one stone. By making you jealous, they’ll get attention from both you and the women they’re flirting with. Una doble dosis de atención satisfará sin duda sus necesidades.
Truth be told, guys do this when they’re jealous of others as well. They’ll seek constant validation and attention from you only to make sure that you’re still into them.
If he sees you talking to another guy he’s not fond of, he’ll immediately enter the attention-seeking zone.
3. Soledad
La soledad y el aburrimiento son los dos principales culpables de las muchas estupideces que comete la gente. Una de ellas es, por supuesto, llamar la atención.
Por soledad, decidirá publicar múltiples selfies, cambiar con frecuencia de peinado y hacer otras cosas que le consigan likes y cumplidos.
So, his favorite method of curing his loneliness is fishing for compliments. It doesn’t matter if it’s a random person complimenting him or someone he knows.
Lo que importa es que ya no se siente solo porque la gente se fija en él. (O todo esto sólo está en su cabeza).
4. Trastorno narcisista de la personalidad
Todos sabemos que el narcisismo consiste en pensar sólo en tus propias necesidades y tratar de obtener lo máximo posible de los demás y de tu pareja.
Pues bien, el trastorno narcisista de la personalidad también está relacionado con la búsqueda de atención.
It’s when your partner doesn’t care about how you feel emotionally or physically. Instead, he’s 100% invested in himself. Abuso narcisista en una relación puede perjudicar seriamente tu bienestar.
5. Trastorno límite de la personalidad
Un trastorno límite de la personalidad consiste en tener una imagen retorcida de uno mismo, impulsividad y malas relaciones interpersonales. Los sentimientos de vacío y los comportamientos autodestructivos también están relacionados con este trastorno.
Una imagen retorcida de sí mismos puede obligar a estas personas a buscar constantemente la atención de los demás porque carecen de autoestima y amor propio.
Sometimes, they’ll seek attention just because they’re bored or feeling impulsive.
6. Trastorno histriónico de la personalidad
People with this type of disorder feel underappreciated when they’re not the center of attention. Hence they constantly feel a strong urge to seek attention in all kinds of circumstances.
Para ello, suelen recurrir a comportamientos provocativos, al teatro, a acentuar su aspecto, etc. Having histrionic personality disorder means being unpredictable and constantly seeking new ways of catching other people’s attention.
¿Cómo lidiar con un compañero que busca atención?
La forma más eficaz de tratar a un compañero que busca atención es prestarle la atención necesaria y hablar con él.
Dealing with an attention-seeking partner (be it male or female) can be really draining. If your guy is seeking attention from other females, most of the time, you’ll feel neglected. However, here are some things you can do to alleviate his attention-seeking tendencies:
• Give him the needed attention
Sometimes, people start seeking attention elsewhere because they’re not getting enough of it from their partners. To keep this from happening, give him the needed attention but don’t overdo it.
Also, expect him to reciprocate. If he continues seeking other women’s attention (e.g., flirting with them) even though you’re giving him enough attention, then have a talk with him.
• Support his positive traits
If he has low self-esteem, make sure to praise his positive traits from time to time. This might help boost his confidence. If he’s good at something, make sure to acknowledge it.
Cuando haga algo por ti, exprésale tu gratitud. Todo esto le dará la atención que necesita y le hará sentirse valorado.
• Have a talk
Si todo lo demás falla, siempre puedes hablar con él. Dile sinceramente cómo te hace sentir su comportamiento.
If he’s constantly flirting with other women in front of you or fishing for compliments, let him know that this should change.
Perhaps he just needs someone to redirect him because he got stuck in attention-seeking land. Once he’s out, you can expect things to change.
4 Razones legítimas por las que salir con buscadores de atención no es una buena idea
Being with someone who is in constant need of attention and admiration is extremely challenging. If you’re not sure whether you should date one, here are four legit reasons why you shouldn’t. Let’s be honest. There are more reasons why you shouldn’t than you should, right? ?
1. Las discusiones constantes son inevitables
Estar con chicos que necesitan atención femenina constante te dificultará formar una relación sana. ¿Por qué? Porque discutir constantemente se convertirá en tu día a día.
From my experience, it’s like you’re in a relationship with a 5-year-old guy. The more you try to explain that he’s overdoing it by seeking attention, the more annoyed he gets.
Either that or he becomes indifferent only to prove to you that you’re the one who’s wrong here. En definitiva, estar en una relación con un tipo así significa muchas discusiones seguro (sobre todo por cosas sin importancia).
2. He’ll prioritize attention-seeking more than you
Given that he requires a lot of attention, he’ll prioritize that more than spending time with you. Regardless of whether he is seeking the attention of the opposite sex or male attention, the consequences are similar.
Mi consejo: Don’t fight for his attention. If you do, he’ll most likely take you for granted. If seeking attention is more important to him than spending quality time with you, then he’s not worthy of your time.
3. You’ll constantly feel like you’re not good enough
Apart from the fact that your love life will be dysfunctional, you will also constantly feel like you’re no es suficiente. Cuando un chico busca continuamente la atención de otras mujeres, puede dañar seriamente tu autoestima.
Most of the time, you’ll think that you’re the one to blame and that something’s not right with you.
En el proceso, puede que incluso recurras a mendigar su atención. Recuerda que una mujer fuerte nunca mendigará atención. That’s why you’re better off without him, so don’t even bother dating him.
4. Los que buscan atención suelen ser tramposos
Yes, attention seekers are human beings after all, but they’re also often tramposos. Todo comienza con intentos triviales de flirteo, y luego termina con una aventura.
The main cause of this is their need to seek attention. Since they get addicted to it, they don’t know when to stop. No, I’m not trying to justify their cheating tendencies but just to clarify things.
Attention seekers are often cheaters, so why bother even dating one of them? I’m not saying you shouldn’t try, but if your gut tells you that you shouldn’t, then listen to it.
If He’s Not Willing To Work On Himself, Move On!
Nope, not all hope is lost for guys who need constant female attention. Some of them are willing to work on themselves, and that’s the only valid reason you should give them a chance.
If your loved one isn’t interested in dealing with their attention-seeking issues or seeking professional help, then my advice is to move on.
As you’re moving on, you can also think about what attracted you to him in the first place so that you can self-reflect. Also, remember that it takes two to make a relationship work.
If they aren’t willing to cooperate and acknowledge that they have a problem, move on and save yourself from such a relationship. Haz que un chico merezca toda tu atención.
