El arte de deshacerse de la gente tóxica: 10 consejos y trucos
Deshacerse de gente tóxica sin muchas molestias parece imposible. Drenan tu energía hasta el punto de que no te quedan fuerzas para luchar contra ellos.
Aside from this, if you’ve ever dealt with someone toxic, you know how stubborn they are. You cannot use indirect ways to tell them to leave you alone.
Por eso hay que apuntar directamente a la cabeza. Literalmente, tienes que decirle a alguien que salga de tu vida, lo que nunca ha sido fácil de hacer.
Well, it’s all part of history from now on. Here is a detailed guide on how to cortar cualquier persona tóxica de la forma más elegante posible.
¿Cuáles son los signos de una persona tóxica?
People don’t show their toxic traits right away. Instead, they pretend to be someone they’re not until they get under your skin.
Al cabo de un tiempo, empiezas a notar pequeñas cosas que luego se convierten en enormes. Empiezan a hacerte cumplidos sin venir a cuento o siempre encuentran lo negativo en todo.
A medida que pasa el tiempo, empiezas a notar más y más signos de su toxicidad. He aquí los síntomas más comunes:
- Comportamiento manipulador
- Deseo de control
- No respetar los límites
- Agresión pasiva
- Falta de responsabilidad
- Inconsistencia
- Egoísmo
- Diferentes formas de maltrato
- Deshonestidad
- Drenaje energético
¿Qué ocurre cuando se corta un persona tóxica?
You’re not losing anything when you finally get rid of someone toxic. On the contrary, you regain control over your life.
At first, you’ll probably echarlos de menos, but as time goes by, you’ll feel relieved without them.
Eventually, you’ll learn from this experience. It teaches you to recognize people who are not good for you. Most importantly, you learn no conformarse nunca con menos de lo que te mereces.
Básicamente, al final del día, te vuelves mejor y más fuerte.
10 maneras elegantes de deshacerse de la gente tóxica
Before you do anything about getting rid of poisonous and negative people in your life, you first have to identify them. Even though you’re aware of all the signos de una persona tóxicaEsto puede ser bastante difícil.
Come on, who’d be happy admitting that their life partner, best friend, a close family member, or even compañero de trabajo es un individuo tóxico? Sometimes, all the clues are right in front of your nose, but you just can’t admit the truth.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t actually cut toxic people out of your life until you are honest with yourself about their toxic behavior. For some people, it takes years to admit that their loved one is poisonous.
But once you finally achieve this, half of the job is already done. You’ve recognized the symptoms, and now you’re finally ready to treat the disease!
2. Hazlo antes de que sea contagioso
Permítanme revelarles un pequeño secreto: la toxicidad es contagiosa. Si su familiar cercano or a romantic partner is poisonous, and you don’t see it in time, you’ll likely start imitating their behavior.
¿Cómo se produce?
You won’t do it on purpose – of course. But at some point, you’ll accept that you’ll never have a relación sana con ellos.
You know the drill: you’ve tried talking to them about their actions, you’ve tried being nice, you’ve tried helping them change. Nevertheless, nothing worked.
At the same time, you still don’t have the strength to cut them off. So, what other choice do you have but to give them a taste of their own medicine?
Empiezas a devolverles todo lo malo que te hicieron. Antes de que te des cuenta, te vuelves igual que ellos.
But does it stop there? No. Without realizing it, you’ve adopted these toxic behavior patterns as if it’s normal, and you’ve begun acting the same way to other people as well.
Voila, you’ve caught the virus!
What I’m trying to tell you here is that you don’t have much time. You have to learn how to deal with toxic people before you become one of them.
3. Prepárate para una dura batalla
I’m warning you: Getting rid of toxic people is probably one of the hardest things you’ll have to do in your life. They won’t go away just because you politely ask them to. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be toxic, would they?
If you want to throw a toxic person out of your life, get ready for a tough battle. You won’t be done with them overnight. This is a process that will take up a lot of your time and energy.
You’ll have a hard time cutting them off because they are like leeches. They don’t think of your well-being and won’t let go, as much as you beg them to.
Encuentran una víctima y se quedan cerca para poder succionarle toda la energía.
But this doesn’t mean it can’t be done. If you’re persistent in your decision, I promise that you’ll make it.
4. La falta de límites invita a la falta de respeto
Now that you’ve done all the pre-steps, it’s time to cut to the chase. The first thing you must do is learn how to establecer límites y cómo practicar el distanciamiento social.
Basically, you have to decide what you’re willing to tolerate and what your deal breakers are. Not only that: making sure all the toxic individuals in your surroundings know this is even more important.
Let’s take this as an example. You can’t stand listening to your toxic coworker complain all the time.
You see that they’re full of negativity, and you’ve realized that they drain all of your energy. But you keep spending your lunch breaks with them anyhow.
Why? Because you’re too ashamed to tell them that you’ve had enough of their negative outlook on life.
Pues eso tiene que cambiar. Establecer límites means learning how to say “no.”
It won’t be easy in the beginning, but hey, practice makes perfect.
You’re not selfish – you’re taking care of your mental health
Let’s make one thing clear: you’re not selfish for doing this. It doesn’t matter who this toxic person we’re talking about is – if you ask them to respect your boundaries, you’re only protecting yourself.
And that’s exactly what you should do.
Remember: it’s not your responsibility to put up with people who make you feel bad. You’re not the one who has to help them with their mental health issues, and you certainly shouldn’t endure their abuso emocional.
5. Lo que permitas es lo que continuará
You have to be aware of one thing: people treat you the way you let them. No, I’m not saying that you’re responsible for the abuso emocional you’re going through.
But if you don’t react properly the first time a toxic person does you harm, you give them the green light to continue doing so. Actually, you belittle yourself more and more every time you give them space to keep on hurting you.
The point is that you’re the one who has to stop this madness. You don’t expect them to suddenly realize they’re toxic and leave you alone or change their ways, do you?
Este es el tipo de personas que seguirán quebrantándote mientras tú se lo permitas. Precisamente por eso debes cortar todos los lazos con ellos.
And you must do it now. Because as long as you allow this treatment, it will continue. You can’t seguir cometiendo los mismos errores y esperar un resultado diferente.
6. El precio de ser demasiado amable es demasiado alto
Your heart is warm, you’re selfless, and you think about other people’s wellness.
But we live in a harsh, harsh world. And the bitter truth is that being too nice won’t get you anywhere.
Por desgracia, hay gente mala ahí fuera. Gente que te ve como una presa y que quiere formar parte de tu vida sólo para pueden utilizarte.
Ven tu amabilidad como un terreno fértil para sus métodos tóxicos. Te ven como una alfombra que pueden pisotear cuando y como quieran.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not telling you to become this evil person who has no scruples. Actually, we’ve already talked about ways to avoid becoming toxic as well.
Pero don’t be too nice o bien. Haz todo lo posible por encontrar un equilibrio.
Don’t hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it but learn how to stand up for yourself. Sigue eligiendo la bondad, but don’t let anyone treat you like a fool.
7. Aceptar en lugar de esperar
The number one mistake that prevents you from cutting toxic people out of your life is believing that things will get better. One of these days, they’ll realize how much pain they’re causing you, and they’ll change.
Noticia de última hora: nunca sucederá. Y no tienes más remedio que aceptar las cosas como son. La cruda realidad es que tu relación con este tipo de personas nunca funcionará.
Or you can keep expecting a miracle to come knocking on your door. You can always choose to live a lie and waste your life on someone who’ll nunca te tratará como te mereces. It’s all up to you.
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved
Please, be aware that poisonous people usually need professional help to overcome their issues. You’re not a mental health professional, and you can’t make them change their ways.
La conclusión es que you can’t save them – especially if they don’t want to be saved.
So please, spare yourself a lot of trouble and anxiety and don’t even bother trying. I guarantee you: you won’t succeed.
8. If you don’t put yourself first, neither will they
You’re only responsible for your own life – nobody else’s. This means that you have to establézcase prioridades sobre todos los demás.
As long as you’re giving those who do you harm access to you, you’re showing them that you don’t quiérete a ti mismo. You clearly have some serious self-esteem problems because deep down, you think you don’t deserve better.
Pero no se preocupe porque eso tiene solución.
En primer lugar, debe tomar conciencia de su propia autoestima. Once you understand how valuable you are, you’ll see that you’re settling for less.
Trust me: you’re good enough, and there are people out there who’d kill to be in your presence. So, why do you waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you at all?
If you’re wondering how to deal with toxic people in your life, the answer is pretty simple: empieza a quererte more than you love them. But I didn’t say that actually doing it will be simple.
9. El duelo te hace humano
Here is the problem: in most cases, you love the toxic person you’re trying to cut off. Sounds ironic, I know.
Pero tu cerebro te dice que debes sálvate a ti mismo while your heart still cares for them deeply. At the end of the day, you feel guilty for loving someone who’s done you so much harm.
Well, let me tell you that this isn’t anything unusual. Keep in mind that llorar su pérdida is perfectly okay, even if you’re losing someone who is hurting you.
Don’t expect to get over them in the blink of an eye. You’ll have to go through several grieving stages that will involve denial, anger, a lot of pain, tears, and nostalgia, among other things.
Nevertheless, please don’t let this discourage you. It’s all part of the process.
Encontrar un sistema de apoyo
Si crees que es demasiado para ti, no te avergüences de pedir ayuda. Para empezar, puedes pedirle a tu mejor amigo o a un compañero de trabajo en quien confíes que te ayude a superar la crisis.
If that doesn’t help, acude a un profesional de la salud mental. They’ll help you cope with your grief and will guide you along the road.
10. Accept an apology – deny the trust
Once your toxic person understands that you’re really leaving them this time, they’ll probably tell you everything you’ve been dying to hear.
They’ll even say they’re sorry for all of their wrongdoings and promise that they’ll change. Let me tell you right away: they won’t.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept their apologies – you just shouldn’t give them a second chance to ruin you. Actually, that’s the only healthy way to leave the past where it belongs.
Sin embargo, hay una gran diferencia entre perdonar y olvidar. El primero te da paz, mientras que el otro te devuelve al infierno.
Even when you forgive, keep your distance. Make it clear that you accept their apology but that you won’t be friends on social media, that you won’t answer their texts anymore, and that you won’t spend time together as if nothing has happened.
Citas para deshacerse de la gente tóxica
You might feel like a fool for letting a toxic person trick you. But trust me, you’re not alone.
Aquí tienes a algunos famosos que comparten sus experiencias al respecto y te envían palabras de ánimo. Espero que algunas de estas citas interesantes le ayudará o inspirará a seguir adelante.
1. “It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” – Daniell Koepke
2. “If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end, low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.” – Lalah Delia
3. “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” – Robert Tew
4. “You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.” – Unknown
5. “Dejar ir doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
6. “My encouragement: delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity. Because that’s where genius lives.” – Robin S. Sharma
7. “Every day, you must unlearn the ways that hold you back. You must rid yourself of negativity, so you can learn to fly.” – Leon Brown
8. “Dejar ir of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” – Hussein Nishah
9. “Keeping bad company is like being in a germ-infested area. You never know what you’ll catch.” – Frank Sonnenberg
10. “I have found the best way to deal with a toxic person is to not respond in any other way than a monotone voice and a businesslike manner.” – Jen Grice
Para concluir
Dejar un relación tóxica y sacar fuerzas para finalmente deja ir lo que te hace infeliz toma mucho valor. Le obligará a salir de su zona de confort y a hacer cambios radicales. Le ayudará a vive tu vida al máximo.
Pero deshacerte de las personas tóxicas y poner fin a las relaciones tóxicas es imprescindible para tu salud mental. Tienes que mantente alejado de cualquiera que te haga daño y te traiga negatividad si quieres salvarte.
There will be days when you’ll feel like you can’t make it. Days when you’ll think that toxicity is an overly powerful force you’re unable to defeat.
However, I promise you that at the end of the day, you’ll succeed – if you follow these steps carefully.
