5 segni che la regola del divieto di contatto funziona (+5 segni che non funziona)

It’s a well-known fact: if you’re trying to figure out Come riconquistare il proprio ex, going no contact is the right choice. You know most of the rules, but one thing still bugs you: How will you know that you’ve succeeded?

That’s why I’m here. I’ve compiled a list of 5 signs the no contact rule is working. If you can relate to at least three of them, it means you’re on the right track.

5 segni che la regola del divieto di contatto sta funzionando

If you’re wondering if the no contact rule is working, take a look at these 5 signs:

1. The world doesn’t revolve around your ex anymore.

Non aspettate più il vostro ex per tornare da te. Non legherete più la vostra felicità alla relazione con lui. Quello che avete avuto è stato fantastico, ma non ha più alcun potere su di voi.

You’re able to appreciate the past without letting it affect you to the point where you’re unable to think about anything else.

Invece di struggerti per lui (il che va bene, tra l'altro, a meno che non duri a lungo), concentra tutte le tue energie per migliorare la tua vita.

La vita continua

Credo che abbiate capito la cosa più importante: la vita va avanti, con o senza di loro! Fate regolarmente i compiti a scuola o vi impegnate a fondo per migliorare le vostre prestazioni lavorative.

Ci si ritrova con gli amici, si scoprono nuovi hobby e si vivono piccole avventure di tanto in tanto, perché l'unico obiettivo è quello di portare più felicità nella vostra vita.

And, you’re aware that you don’t need your ex for that to happen.

As happy as they made you, they were only one part of your life. The other parts won’t crumble just because you lost this one.

As a matter of fact, you didn’t exactly lose it. The happiness you had will always be in your memories, which doesn’t make it any less important.

2. La crescita personale è la vostra priorità.

One of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working is when you start realizing that the heartbreak that came with the breakup wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s never pleasant to tagliare una persona cara from your life. Of course, it’s going to hurt like hell. And, you should give yourself as much time as you need.

However, you know you’re doing okay when you don’t look at the past in anger. Whatever your ex did to you doesn’t affect you as it once did.

Distacco emotivo dal passato

When you talk about them, you almost feel nothing. It’s as if the whole relationship happened to someone else; you just happened to be a spectator that’s retelling all the events now.

You don’t hold qualsiasi rancore or wish you could’ve done things differently.

There are no regrets because you’re aware that everything that happened helped you become the person you are today.

And, now you feel excited for the future and everything it holds because no matter how bad things seem, there’s always a lesson in everything.

As Rainer Maria Rilke once said: ”Let everything happen to you; beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

Quando si trova conforto in questa filosofia, si sa che siete andati avanti.

3. Il vostro benessere viene prima di tutto.

You’ve lost count of how many times you used to put your ex’s needs before your own. The relationship you had with them was at the top of your priority list. Nothing was more important.

Even if your world was crumbling down, you still came every time they needed you. Even after you broke up, you felt like all it would take was one phone call, and you’d be on your way.

But, not anymore…

Uno dei 5 segni che il regola del divieto di contatto funziona è che finalmente vi rendete conto che la vostra vita è tutta incentrata su di voi. You’ve decided to build a healthy relationship with yourself, and self-improvement has become your number one priority.

Your ex no longer has power over you because you are now aware that they’re only a side character in your very own TV show.

Il periodo di assenza di contatti ti ha fatto capire che non hai mai avuto veramente bisogno di loro, che meriti di essere un po' più gentile con te stesso.

Prendersi cura degli altri è bello, ma diventa tossico quando lo si usa per fuggire da se stessi.

You didn’t deserve the heartbreak you experienced, but at least it helped you see how much you needed your own love all along.

4. Ora notate le altre persone.

Eravate così infatuati del vostro ex che a malapena riconoscevate altre persone attraenti.

No matter how good-looking they were, you didn’t give them more than a second of your time. You had the one you wanted, and no one else existed for you.

Questo è il motivo per cui probabilmente avete avuto difficoltà all'inizio dopo la rottura.

Ma poi avete iniziato a notare i cambiamenti positivi che il periodo di assenza di contatto ha portato nella vostra vita. C'è sicuramente qualcosa di diverso nella vostra vita sentimentale!

Suddenly, pretty people don’t escape your notice. More importantly, you start seeing them as potential partners. And, this makes you so happy.

Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t on your mind anymore. Even when they are, you don’t really miss what you had. You don’t want them back.

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your relationship has ended, and while it was a great chapter in your life, you are more than ready to start a new one.

You allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with someone else because you’ve realized that life is too short, and you can’t grieve over one person forever.

One part of you will probably always care about them, but that doesn’t stop you from forming a connection with someone else.

Relazioni di rimbalzo

Ma devo avvertirvi di una cosa importante: relazioni di rimbalzo. Don’t get me wrong – tornare a frequentare la gente è un segno di grande progresso.

Tuttavia, mettersi in gioco è una cosa. Saltare in un nuova relazione è qualcosa di completamente diverso.

You’re not ready for something serious just yet. If you try, you’ll just hurt yourself and break an innocent person’s heart.

So instead of trying to continue where you left off, give yourself some time to explore your options. Take it easy – this is not a race.

5. Il vostro ex inizia a contattarvi.

Uno dei 5 segni che la regola del divieto di contatto sta funzionando è quando il vostro ex vi contatta. Il tempo trascorso in questo silenzio radio li ha fatti rendere conto di quanto hanno sentito la tua mancanza.

Maybe they won’t be direct about their intentions straight away, but one thing is for sure: il tuo ex vuole tornare insieme!

Come lo fanno?

They’ll do it through mutual friends or even your best friends and family. On the other hand, a lot of people send “accidental” text messages to their exes or snoop through their social media accounts and start liking all of their posts.

One way or another, when your ex contacts you after the no contact period, it’s a clear sign ti amano ancora and want you back. There’s no doubt about one thing: sentono la tua mancanza!

Saranno particolarmente curiosi quando vedranno la nuova vita che vi siete creati.

When they see how much you’re enjoying yourself in their absence, your ex will start wanting you more than ever.

They will be attracted to the new, happy you who is perfectly fine without them. And, that’s how you know that the no contact rule works.

It’s a sad truth, but the more you enjoy being without your ex, the more they want to be with you. Being rejected motivates them to win back your heart.

5 segni che la regola del divieto di contatto non sta funzionando

1. You’re not following the rules.

Well, the first one is pretty obvious. You can’t expect the no-contact period to give you the desired results if you’re not following the basic rules.

So cosa starete pensando ora, But I just sent him one text message. But it was his birthday. But I didn’t call him; I called his mum.

Don’t laugh. I know this is exactly how your mind works. The rule is not called “some contact” or “occasional contact.” It’s called “no contact” for a reason! It means complete silenzio radio per un certo periodo di tempo.

Yes, it includes little things such as liking your ex-boyfriend’s pictures on their social media account and, of course, big things such as buying him a birthday present.

You can’t expect this to work if you modify the rules and do things your own way! I know that every situation is different, but relationship coaches around the world agree on this one, and I promise you they have more experience than you!

2. You’re obsessing over the breakup.

I know you’re trying to make your ex tornare, but no contact won’t work if that’s the only thing you can think about. You should use this period for some serious self-improvement and even do your best to forget about him.

However, you’re doing everything besides that. You’re not spending time with your friends, you haven’t found a new hobby, and you’re most certainly not doing anything about your spiritual growth.

Invece, non fate altro che ossessionarvi per la vostra recente rottura. Not just that: you reanalyze your entire relationship. You keep overthinking this person’s actions, and basically, you’re just patiently waiting for him to come back.

Don’t get me wrong: I know that your primary goal is to Riconquista il tuo ex. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, would you?

Nevertheless, the no contact period won’t be beneficial if you sit around and count the days until it’s over. The goal is to distract yourself in the meantime and possibly do something good with your own life.

3. You’re stalking your ex.

So you’ve found a loophole. You’re not actually talking to your ex, you’re not sending him texts, nor do you call him.

But just because you don’t have any direct contact doesn’t mean you haven’t found a way to keep him in your life. Be honest. I know you’ve continued to stalk him!

Perché è sbagliato?

No, I’m not saying that you actually follow him around. But you do use the technology you can.

Anche se l'hai bloccato sui social media, you’ve made tons of fake accounts to keep track of his activity. You’re in touch with his family and your mutual friends all the time.

Let’s face it. You’re not hanging out with them because you like them that much. You just want to get information about him.

Well, let me tell you something: they talk to him about you! I know that this is probably what you want, but trust me, it’s not the radio silence you’re going for.

This man has no feeling that you’re gone. He keeps hearing about you, and I bet he knows who is behind all those fake accounts.

As a result, he feels like you’re still around. This way, he doesn’t get the chance to miss you. At the same time, you don’t get the chance to get over him!

4. Ci si pente della propria decisione.

It’s one thing not to be 100% sure about your decision. After all, you’re only human, and it’s normal to occasionally have second thoughts, especially when you’re in a crisis. Nobody told you this was going to go smoothly.

However, we’re not talking about short periods here. As far as you’re concerned, you should have never started this entire mess.

Truth be told, you regret going no contact, and if you could go back in time, you’d do everything differently. You keep on wondering Come riconquistare il proprio exsenza condizioni e senza domande.

Cosa succede dopo?

You won’t admit this out loud, but you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make your ex come back – even if it include l'accattonaggio e abbassare gli standard.

If this is something you can relate to, I hate to say it, but the no contact rule isn’t working! You’re focused on the wrong things, you’re sending negative vibrations into the Universe, and honestly, you likely won’t make it.

I don’t plan on dashing your hopes, but if you regret your decision so badly, I assume you’ll reach out to them soon. And that’s where we go back to the first of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.

5. Your ex doesn’t reach out.

Let’s get one thing straight: you’re doing all of this to Riconquista il tuo ex, am I right? So naturally, if your ex reaches out, it’s one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working. On the other hand, if he remains silent, you haven’t gotten the desired results.

Hai fatto tutto secondo le regole, ma dopo la fine del periodo di divieto di contatto, hai ottenuto nessuna notizia da lui. Succede raramente, ma succede comunque!

Does it mean that you’ve done all of this for nothing?

È stato tutto inutile?

Beh, decisamente no. After all, what else should you be doing? Don’t tell me it would be better if you begged him to come back.

Besides, I’m sure this period of time helped you as well. You’ve changed your focus, and whether you’re aware of it or not, the no contact period has helped your healing process.

I’m not saying that you’ve gotten over your ex completely. But hey, you think about other stuff other than just wondering if your ex wants to talk to you or not.

That’s some serious progress right there! Look at it this way: you’ve survived senza questa persona per così tanto tempo! Non è fantastico?

Quali sono le fasi dell'assenza di contatto?

It depends on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. Did you go no contact, or did the other person go no contact first?

Come forse sapete, il dumper decide di rompere, mentre l'abbandonato è colui che viene abbandonato. Come si può immaginare, ognuno vive una gamma diversa di emozioni.

Se you’re the dumpee, si verificano le seguenti fasi:

Stage 1 – Heartbreak

Ovviamente, you’re heartbroken. You can’t eat, sleep or breathe without this person. Ti mancano like hell, and you’re ready to do whatever it takes just to get your ex back.

​For you, the Earth has stopped spinning. Life has lost its meaning, and you see no light at the end of the tunnel.

You’re shattered in pieces, and the only way to come back from the dead is for your ex to come back.

Stage 2 – Epiphany

After that, there comes an epiphany. You start to realize it’s better this way. You don’t need them in your life, and losing them was actually a blessing in disguise.

You can live without them, and you’ll survive this. Not just that: once you heal, you’ll be stronger than ever.

It’s like you’ve taken your rose-tinted glasses off and see this person for who they really are for the first time ever. They never deserved you, and you’re lucky they cut you off!

Stage 3 – Self-love

Infine, la ciliegina sulla torta: amore per se stessi. Si impara a mettere se stessi al primo posto e a rendersi conto del proprio valore.

Instead of focusing on your past, you invest all of your energy in the future. You don’t mind being single. As a matter of fact, you enjoy it!

On the other hand, if you’re the one who ended the relationship, these are the stages you go through and the pensieri che passano per la mente:

Stage 1 – Relief

All'inizio, the dumper thinks they’ve made the decision of a lifetime. They finally got the strength to end this relationship. They’re single and free to do whatever they want, without anyone questioning their moves.

Stage 2 – Worry

Dopo un po', iniziano a preoccuparsi ti hanno perso. Their ex isn’t reaching out, isn’t that strange? Is it possible that they forgot about them?

Che lo vogliano o meno, iniziano a mettere in discussione la loro decisione.

Stage 3 – Jealousy and fear

La fase successiva comprende molta gelosia e ancora più paura! Il loro peggior incubo sta prendendo vita: la persona che pensavano sarebbe sempre stata presente è scomparsa dalla loro vita.

Their ex isn’t reaching out, they’re not sending any hints, and it looks like they’ve really moved on with their life!

Stage 4 – Regret

Non hanno altra scelta che pentirsi della loro decisione. They fall into despair and agony. Now, they’re the ones going through heartbreak.

Finally, they suffer the consequences of their actions. They realize that this person’s absence is the worst thing that could ever happen to them, and they finally vedere il loro valore.

Stage 5 – Reaching out

After all the thinking and analyzing, they’ve made a decision: they’ll do their best to ottenere una seconda possibilità. Alcuni saranno diretti e lo imploreranno, mentre altri lo faranno in modo più sottile.

In ogni caso, il risultato finale è lo stesso!

Quanto tempo ci vuole perché la regola del divieto di contatto funzioni?

Il tempo minimo per il regola del divieto di contatto per fare la sua magia è di 30 giorni, ma a volte può durare anche fino a 90 giorni. After this period of no contact is over, your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend will either come back to you, or you’ll get over them.

But please keep this in mind: you won’t make your ex miss you, nor will the no contact rule work if you don’t stick to the rules.

Qual è il tasso di successo della regola del divieto di contatto?

Secondo la maggior parte degli allenatori di relazioni, il tasso di successo della fase di non contatto è di circa 90%. Ciò significa che 9 persone su 10 contattano i loro ex in un modo o nell'altro dopo aver smesso di fumare. tagliarli completamente!

Cosa fa l'assenza di contatto a un uomo?

All'inizio del fase di non contatto, most men feel anger and humiliation. Their ego is hurt more than their heart – they can’t believe their ex feels nothing for them anymore.

However, after a while, they get scared. They realize that their former partner is serious, and they keep on getting clear signs she’s moved on.

Infine, cadono nella disperazione. A questo punto, un uomo è pronto a fare qualsiasi cosa pur di porre fine a questa agonia.

Conclusione:

Being familiar with the 5 signs the no contact rule is working and 5 signs it’s not is essential! Se volete raggiungere il vostro obiettivo, dovete essere chiari sui vostri progressi.

Are you headed in the right direction, or are you doing everything wrong? If you’ve realized you’ve ha commesso alcuni errori, don’t see it as the end of the world – you still have enough time to make things right!