We all know that children can be anything but civil on occasion, and this is especially true when they’re really young. It’s not all too uncommon for kids to say things they shouldn’t from time to time. This even includes saying things that hurt their parents.
Your daughter keeps pushing your buttons. Your child‘s behavior is starting to get to your mental health and undermines the mutual respect you once had. I understand. Kids sometimes push out buttons, and regardless of their age, it‘s hard to know how to act on these occasions.
This is why I brought you this cheat sheet in the form of a sample letter to a daughter who is disrespectful. It is a simple but effective guide on how to write a letter to my grown daughter.
The Most Emotional Letter To Daughter Who Is Disrespectful
Dear Daughter,
I don’t know what to say to you. This is a letter to an ungrateful child. I don’t know how to make it better. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. But I want you to know that I’m here for you.
I am writing this letter to you because I am hurt. You have been disrespectful and rude to me for a long time now. I know that you are just being a teenager but it’s not okay. You need to stop talking back and be nice to your single mother or father.
We are not perfect but we love you so much and we don’t deserve the way you have been treating us. Please change your attitude before it’s too late.
I need to get together with you so that we can discuss this problem or explore possible solutions. Could we perhaps meet at a time that works for you?
I would like to remind you that we are still human beings and that it is hard to be on the receiving end of our anger. I began to think of you like my nasty daughter and your brother as my normal son. I started to evade phone calls with you because they only caused stress.
I want to listen to you, and I hope you will hear my point of view. Together, we’ll be able to find the best solution.
I understand that you have a sense of entitlement when it comes to family members. I still believe my own actions are to blame for this because I couldn‘t teach my own children how to face the biggest challenges in their life.
I am writing this letter to you because I am disappointed in the way you have been acting. You are disrespectful to your parents. You don’t listen when we tell you something. You don’t do what we ask of you. And when we try to discipline you, you get angry and yell at us.
I know that it is hard for a teenager to be respectful of their parents, but I want to remind you that we love you very much and are only trying to help guide your life in the right direction. We want what is best for you and will always be here for support if needed.
I don‘t think I would be able to exclude you from our family, even if I had a million chances. I understand that you are in high school and that is a big contributor to your behavioral red flags.
Still, I don‘t think I need to make up excuses for any of us. Yes, you are a teen daughter, but both of us need to claim our own mistakes for the first time in our lives.
Disrespectful daughters are not just the fault of the daughters themselves. No, a parent worked full time on them too. Still, the disrespectfulness has been going on for too long now, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take.
You are making my life difficult by being disrespectful with your attitude, words, and actions. I am sorry that you feel so disrespected by me as well. I am not perfect, and I make mistakes just like everyone else.
I am sorry that you feel so disrespected by me. I do not ever want to make you feel that way and I have been trying to be more understanding with you.
It feels like it is not enough, though, because of how you are acting now. I think we can work on this together if we try harder.
I love you so much, and I want to be able to support you in any way that I can. That’s why I’m writing this letter to my daughter who is disrespectful.
I know that it may seem like I’m being strict or overbearing, but I need you to hear me out because this is important. You may not see it now, but one day you will thank me for the boundaries that we have set together.
You are a smart girl and you are capable of great things in life. My responsibility as your parent is to ensure you have the necessary tools for success and happiness.
I have to say, I’m disappointed in you. I know you’re going through a lot of changes and it’s hard to keep up with everything. But I’m your parent and I expect better from you.
It’s not just the little things that bother me, like how you don’t make your bed or clean up after yourself. It’s the bigger things, too, like how you can’t be bothered to call or text when something is wrong.
You used to be so close with your dad and me, but now it seems like we’re just strangers.
We do care about you and love you very much, but we need more from you too. We need for us to be a family again.
I am sorry that I have not been the best parent for you. I know that I have not been emotionally available to you, and I have not been there for you when you needed me the most.
I am sorry that I was never there to give you a hug or to tell you that everything would be ok when things got tough. Please let us work things through!
Last but not least, I am sorry if this letter is too late, but please know that I wish with all my broken heart that things could have been different between us. Let us change and work on our differences, please.
Love, Mom/Dad
See also: Why Is My Grown Daughter So Mean To Me? 9 Possible Reasons
Open Letter To My Adult Daughter From Her Parent
Dear Daughter,
It’s been a while since we last talked, I hope that you are doing well and not too busy. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about our past conversations and I just wanted to give you some advice on how to deal with your future relationships.
I am writing this letter to express my disappointment in the way you have been treating me. I am deeply saddened that our relationship has gotten to the point where I have to write this letter.
You are an adult now, and I know that you are capable of making your own decisions. But I am still your parent and it is my responsibility to guide when necessary. I am at my breaking point!
You should be grateful for all the things that I did and still do for you and your siblings, but instead, all I get from you is disrespect.
It is not too late for us to fix our relationship, but it will take a lot of effort on both of our parts. If we don’t work together on this, there will soon be no hope for us as a family.
I want you to be happy, so I want you to know that there is no shame in making mistakes. But what is important is that you learn from them. I have made many mistakes in my life and it took me a long time to learn from them. But now I am happy because of the lessons they have taught me.
I am writing this letter to you because I am worried about you. You are not the same person that I used to know. You have changed and I don’t like it.
You have been making some really bad choices lately and I am afraid that they will lead you down a path of destruction.
I know that it is hard for you right now, but please stop doing these things and come back to the daughter that I love.
When you were younger, I might have been a little too strict. Perhaps that is why you are so rebellious now. I have tried to be more understanding with you and give you more freedom to express your thoughts and feelings, but it seems like it is not enough.
I want you to know that I love you very much and I don’t want this anger between us to last forever. We can work on this together if we try harder.
I’m sorry. I know this will be hard for you to hear, but I never wanted to see you go down this path. I don’t want to see you end up in jail or become abandoned.
Please take a minute and think about what I have said. You have the potential to do anything in the world, so please choose a different path.
In addition, you have been treating me with disrespect and it is time that we talk about this. I want you to know that, while I am disappointed in your behavior, I still love you and will always be here for you. I would appreciate it if we could start to treat each other with respect.
First, I want to apologize for the way that I have been treating you lately. It has not been my intention, but it has happened nonetheless.
Second, please tell me what else can be done so that we can stop this cycle of disrespect? How can we make things better between us?
I am sorry that we have not talked in a long time. I know that I have been busy with work and with your sister, but it is important for me to let you know how much you mean to me.
I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I will always be there for you. You are the most important thing in my life, and I love you more than anything else in the world.
I am sorry for the times when I was too busy or too tired to spend time with you. I believe that all you wanted was for me to listen to all your problems or just give some advice on what is happening in your life.
We’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but we always managed to make things work out in the end. And I’m proud of the woman you’ve become and the family you’ve created for yourself.
I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me for what I did – not because I want your forgiveness, but because it will help you heal from all the pain I caused.
I know I haven’t been a good parent, but I’ve learned important lessons and that is why I want to change things between us. You are now free to make your own decisions and do what you like to do. The same goes for me, so we both better enjoy our time together.
I value our relationship very much, and I hope this adjustment to the way I discuss things with you allows us to feel closer than we are now.
Please let me know how you feel about this, and allow me the opportunity to find a solution that will work for both of us.
I know I haven‘t been the best parent either! I’ve been too caught up in my own life and the lives of others to make time for you.
I know that I have let you down and that you deserve better than this. I want to make things right with you, but I can’t do it alone. You need to meet me halfway, too.
I hope this letter finds its way into your heart and helps you understand how much I love you no matter what happens between us in the future. Please don’t stop reaching out to me, because even if we don’t talk anymore, I’ll always be here for you if anything happens.
All the best,
Your parent
How To Write My Own Letter To My Disrespectful Daughter
If you want to personalize the letter you are sending, you can edit the sample or write your own letter from scratch. You will need to set out who you are writing this letter for. The options include:
• Letter to an ungrateful daughter: You will need to highlight how hard you have been working for her benefit, decide what exactly you want to address, and let your feelings flow onto the paper. My own letter to my ungrateful daughter ended up taking 20 pages!
• Letter to disrespectful teenage daughter: This open letter needs to be carefully written because we all know how teenagers can get. Address the disrespectful behavior and how it makes you feel without mentioning any punishments.
• Sample letter to estranged daughter: You want her back, but don‘t let your writing show that you are desperate. Tell your old daughter that you would like to meet up again.
• Letter to daughter making bad choices: Remind her of how she could lean on you for support when she was a little girl. Be clear on how you wish to support her and tell her this.
• Letter to my daughter who hates me: First of all, consider how she is feeling. If you really messed up and she isn‘t healed from that event, maybe it‘s better to let it go until she reaches out.
• Letter to my adult daughter: She is a grown adult now, and her inconsiderate behavior is ruining all the parenting tips you gave her. Don‘t tell her you always knew she would end up like this, and that she is disrespectful to her in-laws. Be considerate and open when writing.
How Do You Respond To A Disrespectful Daughter?
When dealing with a disrespectful daughter, make sure you either ignore it and make it look like it’s not worth your time or if the problem persists, act on it. Do this by standing your ground, not engaging in a fight, and warning them of the possible consequences.
Parents often want to know how they should respond when their daughter is disrespectful. Disrespectful daughters may be acting out because they feel neglected, or they might be feeling misunderstood and want their parents’ attention.
We need to find out the cause of the behavior before determining the best way to respond. Once we understand why our daughter is behaving disrespectfully, we can address it appropriately.
There are many reasons why a daughter might act disrespectful to her parents. One of the most common reasons is that they feel like they are not being listened to. The first thing you need to do when your daughter is acting disrespectful is to make them feel heard.
You could say something like this: “I can see that you’re frustrated. Tell me more about what’s going on,” and then try to engage in a dialogue with them. This will allow you to understand why they are feeling this way and then see if there’s anything you can do to help them out.
Why Is My Grown Daughter So Rude To Me?
Your daughter is being rude to you because she is dealing with her own emotions. This means it mostly doesn‘t have anything to do with you. Offer to talk about the underlying problem with her.
We want our kids to be comfortable confiding in us and know that they’re not being judged. By discussing the issue and sharing your own understanding of what they might be going through, you might be able to help them start along their path of love and understanding in your family.
There are many possible reasons for this. It could be that she has a lot of pressure and stress from her job, or it could be the result of trying to balance work and family life.
Maybe she‘s just going through a phase where she needs more strength and independence, or maybe your relationship has changed because you‘ve been out of touch for so long.
When someone is dealing with mental illness, it can feel hard to share those feelings with others- but we need to make the effort.
As parents, it can be hard to understand why our grown children are acting a certain way towards us. But there are many reasons behind their rudeness. The best thing you can do is to talk with your daughter and try to find out what the problem is if there is one at all.
Walk In Her Shoes
It’s not all too uncommon for kids to say things they shouldn’t, and the natural reaction is often to yell at them or punish them for their behavior without ever considering the possible root of their anger. This goes for young kids as well as teenagers or adult children.
This is why I recommend that you try to understand your child before you shut out your disrespectful grown child. Remember, this disrespectful adult daughter might be dealing with their own stress. Try to find out how to deal with a disrespectful grown daughter or younger kids.
I hope this letter to your daughter who is disrespectful will help you find common ground with your loved one, regardless of their age and problems you might be facing. Remember, the goal is to write from your heart!