What are the signs he will never come back (or that he eventually will)? Has he already moved on? How long does it take for a man to regret losing you? To these and many other questions, you’ll find the answers below.
Ending a romantic relationship with someone you still love is everything but easy, and it can break even the strongest hearts. This is the person you shared your life with and (perhaps) someone you imagined growing old next to.
Then, one day, they just disappear from your life, and you are expected to accept the final end as if it was a piece of cake.
Even though moving on is always painful, including accepting that all of your plans and hopes related to this person are ended, there is something that hurts even more and that is admitting to yourself that things are really over.
And this is exactly what you’re going through right now: you are grasping the idea that your ex is really over you.
Let’s face it—no matter why the breakup took place, at first, most of us hope that things will soon fall in place and find a way of sorting themselves out.
You keep hoping that one of these days, your ex will reappear in your life even though you can’t help but notice all the signs he will never come back.
Well, I am here to burst your bubble and to confront you with the harsh truth you’ve been trying to escape from. I’m also here to teach you how you will know that he’ll come back after a breakup.
Of course, we are all different and relating to just one of these signs doesn’t have to mean much. However, if you can recognize your ex’s behavior in all or most of them, then there’s no need to overthink or question any of it.
How Do You Know If He Will Never Come Back?
If your ex avoids all communication, doesn’t make an effort to get you back, and is in a new relationship, chances are he will never come back. There are also many other signs that indicate you’ll never get back together. If the majority of these signs resonate with his behavior, then you know your hopes of getting back together with him are in vain.
Harsh But True Signs He Will Never Come Back
He avoids all communication
One of the first and most plain signs you will never get back together is the fact that your ex has stopped communicating with you since you two broke things off.
Not only that, he even avoids any type of communication which you initiate.
The last thing you want to be is boring or needy, but you’ve probably tried calling this man or sending him text messages a few times since you two split, right?
You tried inviting him just to hang out, without telling him about your concrete intentions or you were even straightforward about your feelings.
Either way, you’ve never managed to get a positive response. It is like he is ready to do whatever it takes just not to see you or hear from you.
Stop justifying his behavior.
Stop telling yourself that he is afraid of what might happen if he comes close to you. Stop lying to yourself that this is nothing but a good sign that he still has strong feelings for you which he tries to run away from.
Well, even though there is a small possibility of this being true, there is a good chance for it to be a sign he is over you.
No matter how mentally and emotionally strong this guy is and no matter how hard he is trying to fight his emotions, the fact is that sooner or later, he would have agreed to meet up with you if he really missed you the way you hope he does.
Even if this is true and even if he still loves you (which is, to be honest, unlikely), this man has made a decision not to get back together with you.
All of these are clear signs he doesn’t love you anymore, and that is something you’ll have to accept sooner or later.
He has cut you off completely
Besides avoiding all types of communication, another one of the signs he will never come back is that this guy has cut all possible ties with you.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it is more than clear that he’s left you in the past and that he has no intention of reuniting with you in the present or the future.
He might have changed his phone number, blocked you on all of his social media accounts, stopped going to the places in which he knows he could encounter you or even changed the city or the neighborhood in which he lived.
The point is the same—he has cut you off completely.
Don’t get me wrong—it doesn’t have to mean that your ex has made these drastic changes in his life just to avoid you, but the truth is that he hasn’t made an effort to give you his new contact data. This indicates that he doesn’t want to continue being in touch with you.
This has been lasting for a while and it can mean just one thing—he is pretty serious about not wanting to go back together with you.
When you look at things realistically, you can see this man living his life as if you were never a part of it and as if you never mattered to him.
Of course, something like this is painful to accept, especially if you still feel stuck in one place and like you haven’t moved an inch, but it simply has to be acknowledged.
He gave you all of your stuff back
When you still have strong feelings for someone who is not a part of your life anymore, you hold onto the memories the two of you have together.
You keep their belongings, you listen to the songs that remind you of them, and you have trouble deleting the photos of the two of you from your social media profiles.
Besides, keeping each other’s things or intentionally forgetting something at your partner’s can always be a great excuse for people to get back together, once the initial storm passes.
That is exactly why many couples deliberately refuse to take this step of giving each other back their stuff. They think that as long as they have something belonging to their ex, there is still a chance of getting back together with them.
This wasn’t an excuse he used to reach out to you.
He didn’t do it in a moment of anger or to get even at you. He didn’t throw your things at you while the two of you were fighting.
Instead, he politely called or texted you after some time had passed since your breakup, told you that your stuff is all packed up, and asked for you to do the same with his things.
He didn’t try to prolong the communication nor did he tried mentioning any other topics besides this one.
Besides, there is even a possibility that he did all of this through a mutual friend of yours because he didn’t want to see you even for a minute.
If this is the case, it is more than clear that this man wants to get rid of everything that might remind him of you and that he wants to give himself a chance to start writing a new chapter of his life without any baggage weighing him down.
He is friendly
Even though you might consider the fact that your ex wants to stay friends with you as a sign that he wants to get back together, it can also be seen as one of the signs he will never come back.
Staying friends with an ex is never easy, and it can only happen if both of you have let go of all the resentment and grudges and once the anger is long gone.
Of course, this means that your ex has moved on from all the negative emotions he might have had for you and your relationship.
He isn’t frustrated with you anymore, and he doesn’t blame you for the breakup or for some things you’ve done during your time together.
However, sadly, it also means that he’s become completely indifferent toward you.
He’s stopped seeing you as a romantic partner, but he respects everything the two of you went through together and all the years you shared, so he doesn’t want to start acting like a stranger all of the sudden.
He is still kind. He even remembers your birthday and when the two of you accidentally run into each other, he doesn’t avoid you.
Instead, he greets you politely. But that is it—he never mentions your relationship, doesn’t flirt with you, and doesn’t tease you in any way.
He treats you the way he treats all of his female acquaintances.
Maybe it would be too much to say that the two of you are real friends because he literally treats you the way he treats all of his female acquaintances.
It is more than likely that this man doesn’t have any feelings for you if he can small talk with you without it causing him any heartache whatsoever.
He doesn’t care who is responsible for everything bad that went on between you guys, and he has no interest in resolving some things from the past.
This guy only remembers the good things, thinks of you as a beautiful memory, and really wishes you all the best.
If this is something you can relate to, your ex has definitely managed to emotionally detach himself from you and your relationship one hundred percent and has moved on in the healthiest way possible.
He avoids your friends and family members
You were in a relationship with this guy for a while, and things between the two of you were quite serious. So, it is expected that both of you met each other’s friends and family members and even developed friendly relations with them.
However, ever since your relationship failed, your ex hasn’t just disappeared from your life, he’s cut all ties with everyone close to you, as well.
It’s not that he became rude overnight or that he directly told anyone that he doesn’t want to be in touch anymore.
Still, he has started avoiding any type of contact with anyone connected with you to the point where your mutual friends and acquaintances think that they’ve done something wrong that might upset him.
This guy doesn’t want to have anything to do with anyone that might remind him of you and your past relationship. He doesn’t want to get himself involved in a possibly awkward situation in which you might think that he wants to take away your friends from you.
He wants to avoid being bombarded by questions regarding your breakup.
He wants to avoid people trying to get the two of you back together, and of all things, mostly, he wants to avoid the possibility of accidentally running into you.
Of course, keeping a tight relationship with your loved ones could be this man’s free pass back to your life—this way, he could always keep you near in a way, and he could always know what you’ve been up to.
However, it is more than clear that this is the last thing he wants. So, please trust me on this one.
If a man hasn’t just cut you out of his life but is also trying to break all ties with everyone around you, it is one of the most surefire signs he will never come back to you, as much as you might still have faith in a different outcome.
He shows no signs of jealousy
If a man has feelings for you, he can never stand picturing you with another guy, let alone letting you go into someone else’s arms.
Even if this man is taking you for granted and doesn’t want to get back together with you at first, the moment he feels endangered and the moment he sees that he might really lose you to another dude, he won’t be able to control his jealousy, and he’ll do everything in his power to get you back.
Of course, this is not something you should ever settle for, but if nothing else, in this case scenario, your ex will try to prove to himself that he still has a special place in your heart and that he can have you whenever he wishes.
That is why one of the signs you will never get back together is the fact that your ex doesn’t show any signs of jealousy whatsoever.
He even saw you with other guys or people you both know have been telling him that you are seeing someone new, but sadly, you’ve gotten no feedback.
He doesn’t try to prevent you from starting to date again. He is not interested in whether you’ve moved on.
He doesn’t have the desire to compete with new men in your life.
Also, he doesn’t have the desire to chase them away from you. He doesn’t care if you’ve entered a serious relationship or if this is just something you are doing to get even with him.
Not only that—this guy doesn’t have any problem with wishing you all the best with your future love life and with wanting for you to have a healthy, good relationship.
He doesn’t feel threatened by the fact that you are about to replace him, and he even sincerely congratulates you on finding someone new, without the slightest trace of irony or sarcasm.
He has without a doubt rationally accepted your breakup, and he is aware that it’s time for both of you to continue living your lives.
His social media posts have nothing to do with you
You know how you can’t help yourself but to publish some sad songs and status updates all over your social media accounts when your heart is breaking?
We might not want to admit this, but most of us have the need to share our thoughts and emotions on our social media profiles, and it is not unlikely for our friends and followers to have an insight into our emotions through our posts.
Well, let me tell you one thing—even though men are considered to be a lot tougher and less emotional, the truth is that they are also likely to expose their feelings on social networks.
If a guy is hurt, he’ll want to express himself.
He will probably post a song which is special to just the two of you or some deep quote indirectly describing his mental and emotional state, while trying not to be too obvious and trying to keep his dignity.
He’ll use this tactic with the intention of getting inside your head, making you wonder if you are imagining things or he is really trying to send you a message.
This way, he wants to remind you that you still exist in his heart without actually having to make a concrete move because let’s face it—he is more than aware that you snoop through his profile from time to time.
Nevertheless, if this is not something your ex does, then it is one of the clearest signs he will never come back to you.
Not only that—this guy even deleted all traces you’ve ever existed in his life from his social media accounts or he even blocked you everywhere. It’s like he wanted to delete all of your traces so he could move on with more ease.
He doesn’t respond to your flirty signals
Let’s be honest—whenever you spend time with this guy or talk to him in any way, you try to make a move on him or help him make the first move.
You do your best to look as attractive as possible to remind him what he’s lost, and you keep on mentioning some funny and interesting things regarding your relationship.
However, your ex doesn’t seem to be falling into your trap because he never responds to your flirty signals, and he doesn’t give you the feedback you expect.
Even his body language signs are showing you that he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore:
- When the two of you talk, he doesn’t stand next to you nor does he use any opportunity to touch you.
- He doesn’t try to make you laugh.
- He doesn’t notice any changes in your appearance.
- He doesn’t compliment you nor does he flirt with you in any other way.
I know you are probably trying to read between the lines and that you are interpreting every look or smile you get from him as something more, but the truth is that even your gut feeling is telling you that the spark between you is long gone.
You just have to face these signs he will never come back and deal with the fact that your ex isn’t turned on by you anymore and see it as a sign he will never be yours again.
All of a sudden, all traces of the man you used to know are gone. Now he’s keeping you at a safe distance and is acting cold and uninterested.
This doesn’t mean that he’s rude or impolite when he runs into you.
Instead, he tries to keep things official without throwing any hints or clues that he might still see you as an object of his affection or that there exists the possibility of the two of you ever getting back together.
He’s never made an effort to get you back
If you start looking at things completely honestly and if you manage to disregard the feelings you have for your ex, the truth is that he has never even given you a hint that he wants to revive your relationship and that this period of no contact has been lasting for a while now.
It’s not that he just hasn’t said it out loud that he wants you back, but he never made any kind of effort to win you over again.
You guys broke up a while ago, so it’s not that he is still angry or hurt by everything that went on between the two of you. He’s had enough time to get his shit together and to make a move on you.
I assume this is a hard pill to swallow, but you need to understand a few simple things:
If a man wants you, he will pursue you, and nothing can stop him from chasing after you.
A man’s effort is a reflection of his feelings for you, so if he isn’t trying to come back, it is one of the signs he won’t. Everything else is bullshit.
He’s found a new girlfriend
One of the most certain signs you will never get back together is the fact that your ex is dating someone else, and it’s starting to get serious.
If your ex has found a new girlfriend, it is a sign he probably forgot all about you.
When a guy jumps from one girl to another or when he is trying his best to get into every other girl’s pants, that is a clear sign of his emotional instability and a sign he is repressing his emotions.
However, this is not how your ex behaves. Instead, it looks like he’s completely committed to just one woman. The worst part is that we aren’t talking about a rebound relationship here.
He hasn’t made up a long distance relationship or found someone new just to make you jealous, and he hasn’t asked a friend to pretend to be his girlfriend just to get feedback from you.
The truth is that your ex has moved on.
You can see that he isn’t in a new relationship just for the sake of getting even with you by the fact that he doesn’t rub his new romance in your face.
It’s not that he hides it, but you finding out about his new girlfriend is not at the top of his priority list. Instead, this guy is more than ready to build a future with another woman.
If you ask any relationship expert for an opinion regarding this, they will tell you the following: He’s gotten rid of all of the emotional baggage from your relationship, and he is ready for a new, fresh start.
I know that you probably want for all of this to be a lie, that you keep on justifying him by convincing yourself that he is just searching for you in all other women or that he’s jumped into a new relationship just to get over you with more ease.
Even if you refuse to accept these painful signs, the truth is that your ex has moved on—and you should do your best to do the same!
How Do You Know If A Guy Is Trying To Get Rid Of You?
In most cases, we will know when someone is “trying to get rid of us” but when it comes to romantic relationships, things are not that simple. Oftentimes, we refuse to acknowledge the truth and we keep finding excuses for our exes or our current partners that should be exes.
Here are some direct and subtle signs he’s trying to get rid of you:
- He no longer showers you with attention
- He becomes vague
- He doesn’t want to put a label on anything
- He ignores you
- He no longer treats you as his priority
- He treats you as one of his friends
- Lack of texts and phone calls
- He avoids the relationship talk
- Lack of affection and intimacy
- He no longer cares about his appearance
- He stops making plans with you
- Keeps making up reasons and excuses
- Constantly looks for things to fight with you about
- He no longer calls you by your first name
- He flirts with other women in front of you
If he acts like this, then he might have never loved you in the first place. Perhaps he was a player from day one but somehow you failed to notice it. When a guy is trying to get rid of you, he will do his best to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
He will try hard to make you feel like you’re the one to blame for your failed relationship. When a guy is trying to get rid of you, he will only think about himself and treat you as an option.
How To Know If He Will Come Back After A Breakup? 10 Signs He Will
If a man is genuinely in love with you, then you know he will eventually come back after a breakup.
A few years ago I had a bad breakup and I didn’t expect him to ever come back after it. Instead of giving myself false hope that one day he’ll come back to me, I secretly accepted the fact that letting go was my only option.
To my amazement, he contacted me after a few weeks and said that he wanted to talk to me. I mean, what are the odds? Just when I was ready to move on, he comes back into my life and “ruins” everything.
But I guess it was meant to be. So, we reunited and after some time we broke up again. I guess that was meant to be, too.
Without further ado, here’s how you’ll know that he WILL come back after a breakup.
You caught him stalking you on social media
He liked or commented on one of your old posts. He regularly likes all your posts and comments on them. Obviously, he’s kind of stalking you on social media and impatiently waiting for you to post something new.
He does that because he’s interested in what is going in your life and wants to be updated. This is a good sign because it means he isn’t ready to move on with his life because you are still on his mind.
He hasn’t returned your belongings
There are three reasons why he wouldn’t return your belongings:
a) He’s still attached to these things because he cares about you (so he’s not ready to get rid of them)
b) He forgot about it
c) He doesn’t give a damn about it
Well, if the rest of the signs resonate with his behavior, then you can be one hundred percent sure that it is a).
He hasn’t returned your belongings because he secretly hopes that one day you will reunite. Or he already knows that he will eventually come back but he’s not sure when exactly.
If it is true love, you can be sure that he will come back sooner than you think.
He’s still single
One of the biggest signs your ex will eventually come back is him still being single.
The majority of men have this need to enter new relationships or casual ones once they break up with you. I have this feeling that they are doing it to catch up on everything they missed when they were taken aka in a relationship.
But if your man (read: ex-man) is still single, this is a great sign. It probably means that he’s still thinking about you and he can’t imagine being with someone else.
Also, if he already knows that he will come back, he will not want to meet new people or enter a new relationship because this would only make things even more complicated. He will focus solely on you and how to get you back.
He calls and texts you when drunk
Another big sign that he will come back is you receiving random texts and phone calls from him specifically when drunk. He seldom texts you or calls you but when he’s drunk, he can’t help himself but text you something heartwarming, desperate, or a combination of both.
His spelling mistakes are a surefire sign that he’s totally drunk. If he drunk dials you, you probably won’t understand a word he’s saying to you but you will hear some trigger words like “miss you”, “still love you” and similar.
If a man still cares about you but is trying to hide it, he will call and text you when drunk. It’s up to you how you’ll respond to it. (I bet you will laugh for sure.)
He’s still in touch with your friends
Why would he still be in touch with your friends if he’s no longer with you? Hmm… Perhaps they are his middlemen. He’s probably asking them about you and trying to leave a good impression so that your friends can tell you what a great man he is and that you should get back together.
He’s still in touch with your friends because he still wants to be a part of your life. He wants to know your plans and all the other important events in your life but he obviously doesn’t want to ask you directly about it. Well, not until he finally gathers the courage to do so.
He answers your calls and texts immediately
I know for a fact that not a single man on earth would reply to your text or call immediately if he’s not GENUINELY interested in you. Men are not really into texting. To them, this is a waste of time. They use texting primarily as a means of making arrangements.
So, if he answers your calls and texts immediately, you know he was literally waiting for you to text him or call him. He was LITERALLY sitting next to his phone in hope that you will reach out to him. Ain’t that good news, girl?
You keep bumping into him
The universe is either playing with both of you or he’s doing it on purpose. If you bump on him once, it’s not a big deal. If you bump on him twice or multiple times, then something is going on.
If you keep bumping on him, chances are he still cares about you and he’s probably gathering the courage to approach you. If that is the case with him, just give him some time and I’m sure he will come back to you.
He admits that he’s been unhappy ever since the breakup
If a man (especially your EX) admits to you that he’s been unhappy ever since the breakup, then he truly means it. He wants you to know that he still has feelings for you and he can’t move on with his life.
He also wants to know if you’re on the same page. So, if you feel the same way as him, make sure to let him know. Otherwise, you might lose him for good.
He gives you compliments
If a man doesn’t care about you, he will certainly not bother giving you compliments. So, if you notice that he seizes every opportunity to compliment your personality, achievements, lifestyle, and appearance, then you know he still cares about you.
Then you know he secretly hopes that you care about him as well. Obviously, this is one of the clear signs he will eventually come back.
You broke up because you were in a long-distance relationship
If the reason why you broke up was the inability to be in a long-distance relationship, then things are not as bad as they seem.
If the only problem in your relationship was distance, chances are he will come back to you. Perhaps he found a way to make things function and now he wants to give your relationship another try.
How Long Does It Take For A Man To Regret Losing You?
The answer varies from man to man, but the majority of men will experience regret within around a month to six weeks after breaking up with you.
When we break up with someone, the first thing that comes to our mind is: When will this man regret losing me?
We want it to happen immediately because, in some weird way, it would make us feel better about our breakup (and ourselves). Of course, all this greatly depends on the reason(s) of your breakup and circumstances.
Was he the one who initiated the breakup? Did he cheat on you? Did you break up for no apparent reason?
If he hurt you…
If he hurt you one way or another, chances are he will regret losing you sooner than he thinks or than you expect him to. You can expect him to experience regret in the first few weeks. Still, if he’s a legit player, he might need more time to experience regret because, obviously, playing with women and hurting them has become his lifestyle.
If he initiated the breakup…
Men who initiated the breakup on impulse are also bound to experience regret within around a month to six weeks after breaking up with you. Men are known for making rash decisions which is the main reason why they regret more than half of their decisions.
If you initiated the breakup…
If you’re the one who broke up with him, this is a direct attack on his male ego (regardless of the reasons why you broke up in the first place). He will feel the need to prove himself worthy of being with you again, so you can expect him to experience regret within around a month to six weeks.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of men who will not instantly regret losing you. If you want them to feel remorse, you will need to be patient and give it time.
It can take a varying amount of time for a guy to regret breaking up with you and consider getting back together. Usually, after one to six months, he will start to regret losing you.
If you’re thinking of getting your ex back, I recommend that you wait for a few weeks. Perhaps he will come to you on his own once regret kicks in.
Why Men Come Back Months Later?
One of the biggest reasons why men come back months later is when they see that you’ve become a better version of yourself (and got a better man). Men are extremely competitive by nature and they can’t help themselves but experience regret about losing something or someone valuable.
Men come back months later when/because:
They thought the grass would be greener on the other side of the fence
Men come back months later once they realize that they had unrealistic expectations regarding the grass is greener syndrome. They come back once they realize what they’ve lost and that they were taking you for granted.
They were testing your boundaries
Some men decide to leave you only to test your boundaries. They want to see how far they can go and if you will still care about them. So, once their “mission” is completed, they come back months later as if nothing happened between the two of you.
They become nostalgic
They come back when they start to miss your voice, your imperfections, quirks, your sense of humor, and all the other things that make you unique and that they really loved about you. They become nostalgic about all the things you used to do when you were together and now they want to give your relationship another try.
A lot of people make a rash decision to break up with someone, and then after a certain period of time, they realize that they made a mistake. That’s when nostalgia kicks in.
You have grown as a person
They come back when you’ve grown as a person and when you literally no longer care about them. They feel this strong urge to win you again and compete with other men for you. Usually, when a woman is grown as a person, she doesn’t give a damn about her ex (unless he’s also grown as a person).
They genuinely want you back
Well, sometimes men come back because they genuinely want you back. There are no ulterior motives or anything like that. They come back because they truly miss you and want to be with you again.
The Bottom Line
Now that you’re familiar with all the signs he will never come back and the ones that indicate he eventually will come back, I hope this will help you make the right decision.
If you think he will never come back, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds cliché but it’s true.
Instead of waiting for him to come back to you (when you know he won’t), use this time to grow into a better person. Fall in love with yourself. Spoil yourself.
Enjoy your solo life before you establish a healthy relationship with someone else. When that happens, you’ll be grateful that it didn’t work out with your ex. All in all, good luck with whatever you choose to do!