At least once in our lives, each of us has had a heartbreak at one time or another – after all, that’s part of life. Sometimes, you fall in love with a person who is not cut out for you, or they just don’t love you back the way you expected.
All of it’s sad and painful, I get it. But what about the right person, wrong time kind of scenario?
What happens when you know you’ve found your soulmate, but you’ve met too early (or too late), and your wrong timing is what prevents you from living happily ever after?
Is this really possible? Do these things happen?
Or is it just an excuse people say to themselves? After all, it’s easier to accept this as a valid reason for your romantic failure than to admit to yourself that your loved one isn’t your match made in heaven.
Well, if this is something you’ve been wondering, stay tuned because I’m about to reveal all the secrets hidden behind the concept of meeting the right person at the wrong time.
Fiction vs. reality
Love movies and books are full of these situations. Truth be told, they even romanticize this type of scenario.
Remember one of the most classic relationships for all of us, the love of Forrest Gump and Jenny. Forrest and Jenny grow up together, he falls in love with her and confesses his love, but she isn’t ready to settle down.
Instead of a smooth transition from a childhood friend to college, Jenny runs away from the only man who will ever treat her right and offer her the purest true love.
It’s one thing to follow fictional relationships on the big screen or in the world of books, but experiencing bad timing in real life isn’t guaranteed to end happily ever after.
More often, bad timing destroys relationships and can sometimes lead to years and years of missed opportunities. As the situation is bitter, there are a surprising number of people who experience true love at the wrong time every day.
Different viewpoints
The concept of “the right person at the wrong time“ has been the subject of much debate. Basically, it all depends on whether you’re a hopeless romantic or a realist with both feet on the ground, no matter what.
The fake charm of the right person, wrong time
Let’s start with the first group. Don’t get all offended, but the truth is that, deep down, you’re romanticizing heartbreak a bit.
How can someone even think about looking at something so painful through rose-tinted glasses? you must wonder. Well, the truth is that this is more common than you might think – people are just not aware of it.
What happens here exactly? If you’re a fan of romantic movies, books, and TV shows, you know that they all talk about this couple who loved each other to the moon and back.
They can’t seem to settle down together due to different life circumstances. It’s never the lack of love they feel for each other – it’s always about an exterior factor.
It doesn’t matter whether they end up together or not – the point is that they’re the love of each other’s lives.
The main role in your own love movie
Whether you want to admit it or not, at some point, you identify with your favorite characters. You want your big romantic story, which, sadly, sometimes includes emotional pain as well.
When you really do fall in love, and you see that things aren’t going in the right direction, you never stop and wonder if your love is real. Is it possible that what you two feel just isn’t strong enough to survive in the real world?
Maybe you were never in love – you were just infatuated, and now those feelings have faded away? What if this isn’t true love?
This question alone jeopardizes your main character role. After all, did Juliet ever question her emotions for Romeo?
At the end of the day, it’s easier for you to claim that you and your partner met at the wrong time than to admit that you two were never actually compatible.
Where’s the romance in that? Let’s not forget – you’re the main character, and you must have your big love story.
And the main character never magically falls out of love with their partner. Instead, they suffer in silence until one day, the other person appears on their doorstep out of nowhere.
Besides, this scenario gives you loads of hope. It comforts you that maybe, one day, your partner will reappear in your life as well – when the timing is right.
If it keeps happening to fictional characters, then why can’t it happen to you as well? Once again, it’s an easier approach than admitting to yourself that things are over for good.
Reality check
On the opposite side, there are a bunch of realistic people who believe that the whole concept of the right person, wrong time is nothing but bullshit. According to this theory, every timing is right when the person is right.
When you find your soulmate, nothing and nobody can prevent you from being together. Everything except this approach is an excuse.
It kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? If someone is the one for you, you know it, regardless of the moment you met.
That’s exactly why these realists think that whoever mentions that they’ve lost a loved one due to wrong timing isn’t brave enough to look truth in the eyes.
It wasn’t the wrong time – their love wasn’t strong enough. It wasn’t the wrong time – neither of them tried hard enough to make things work.
One thing is for sure: there is no universally correct formula to solve the dilemma of meeting the right person at the wrong time.
Meeting the right person at the wrong time can change lives when it fails the way we want it to. It can affect us for a long time, reappear when we least expect it, and prevent us from moving on through life.
The Phenomena Called Fear Of Missing Out
In psychology, there is a term commonly known as “FOMO,“ which, in short, means fear of missing out. It’s a real phenomenon that is becoming increasingly common and can cause significant stress in your life.
Psychologists call the sadness of missing out or the “fear of missing out“ as dealing with “unfinished business.” When all the factors don’t match to create the outcome we want, for one reason or another, of course, we don’t get what we want, which creates a negative sense, such as loss, sadness, and regret.
When you’re dating, the fear of missing out on someone better can end a perfectly good relationship before it’s even had the chance to bloom.
Craving healthy relationship
When we meet someone who seems to be ideal in our eyes, it is natural that we want to establish that connection and have a healthy relationship with that person. If the right person comes at the wrong time, ours or theirs, the relationship is going to fail.
Even if all other criteria are more than satisfactory, if the right time is ruled out, neither side has the power throughout the situation, and reality must be accepted.
Well, here’s a newsflash (and I warn you, hearing this might burst your bubble): If you meet the right person at the wrong time, chances are it’s the wrong person, not the timing. The right person doesn’t just need to meet your criteria and vice versa if two people are moving in different directions.
Even if one person is more willing than the other to settle down and have a long-term relationship, or if one person has unfinished business, then it is inevitable that the connection will end. The main key to the success of a healthy relationship is the right timing for both people involved.
If we want to learn from mistakes made in the relationship with the wrong person, we have to move on and meet the right one. Having a good relationship is sometimes fleeting, and just because it didn’t last as a long-term relationship doesn’t mean it was less significant.
Use your time to think about good times with that person, such as time spent on the first date, not the negativity and the fact that it had to end. Keep these memories in your mind – you don’t have to forget them.
When you meet someone you think is the right person at the wrong time, it’s tempting to change yourself and your goals to fit the criteria you believe will preserve the relationship. In this way, you set yourself up for failure, and in the end, the real you and your most sincere needs will appear anyway.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to remain true to yourself, your desires, your life goals. That’s the only way to preserve your mental health, no matter what life situations have occurred. Despite what you think you’re missing out on, if you stay authentic to yourself, you can’t go wrong.
We have all been in similar situations – I know I have. At one time or another, we all firmly believed that we’d met our forever person, but for whatever reason, the timing was wrong.
Sometimes it’s because one or both sides are romantically connected to other people. Sometimes it’s something much deeper – maybe one person is going through a rough patch in their life, or maybe they’re planning to leave, losing all hope of a relationship.
Whatever the reason, we are all familiar with that painful feeling of losing someone we believed was our soulmate. Don’t worry, nobody is judging you for this.
Does that mean we will never find love again? Was this the only chance for happiness we’ve got? Definitely not.
How To Move Forward After Failure In Love
Some people might try to convince you that having your heart broken is not a big deal. It happens to everyone, and you should deal with it like a grown-up. It’s especially not as significant in comparison to other, more severe life hardships.
Well, I call this bullshit. Heartbreak is real emotional pain, and it consumes all of us completely, regardless of whether someone will admit it or not.
When you fail in love, it seems like your entire world is collapsing. You don’t see a way out and are convinced that there is no chance of moving on from this condition.
Let me give you a bit of hope: getting over someone and healing your heart is possible – you just have to know how to do it.
Before anything, keep in mind that you mustn’t give up on the idea of love, and most importantly, on yourself. Otherwise, everything is lost.
Emotional maturity
Before we decide to move forward in our lives, find true love and a soul mate, we need to face and get to know ourselves better to achieve emotional maturity. We do not all have the same coping mechanisms.
If you had a fulfilled life before the last relationship, built a social network, and not made big and significant changes during the relationship, you have a better chance to recover from the relationship faster.
But if the relationship made you reduce your circle of friends, inspired you to leave your interests or job, you will have more work to do on yourself and more time to think about the former relationship.
Self-work
Breaking up is also a unique opportunity to work on yourself. Take the course you have always wanted, dedicate yourself to sports, watch your favorite series, hang out with people you have neglected, but first set yourself life goals. And don’t do it to find a new partner.
You should do it for the only person you are always with – yourself. The time between two relationships is an ideal time to work on yourself, get to know yourself, build and improve self-confidence, adopt new knowledge, etc.
The most common mistake people make after a breakup is to try to replace an old relationship with a new one as soon as possible. If it was a serious and emotionally significant relationship, you will slow down your recovery from it.
Every relationship requires a lot of our time, effort, and emotional commitment. Only when you are happy alone can you be happy with another person.
The other person cannot be a substitute for everything you want in life. You can set your goals and priorities at the beginning if you know what questions to ask yourself before you start having fun, which can help you make your search for true love and a soul mate successful.
The problem is that in real life, finding a new relationship or a soul mate is not easy at all. Namely, it can be very confusing and frustrating.
Nevertheless, seeking love does not have to be a continuously painful endeavor and is not a fruitless search. It also doesn’t mean you have to settle for what you have now instead of the right ones for eternity.
What Are Examples Of Right Person Wrong Time?
If you’re wondering whether you’re in a right person, wrong time situation, check for these signs. If you can relate to most of them – everything is pretty clear.
1. You love each other, but somehow, you keep on having problems/breaking up.
2. You’re in a long-distance relationship with no signs of getting together any time soon.
3. You have different life goals/future plans.
4. You feel like one of you is more mature than the other.
5. Your emotional baggage is ruining your chances for love.
6. The age difference is too big.
7. One of you is already married/in a relationship.
8. Your lifestyles are nowhere similar.
9. One of you is not ready for a committed relationship right now.
10. Other things/people come in front of your relationship.
How do you know if it’s the right person at the right time?
Let’s put the sadness and the pain aside for a bit. Let’s talk about love stories with a happy ending and about meeting the right person at the right time.
Instead of having the right person at the wrong time, the goal is to find the right person at the right time. It’s much easier said than done, but if you don’t wait for the right time with the right person, you could lose the love of your life. One thing is for sure: you should never give up on love.
How do you know?
Throughout our lifetimes, we meet many people, and they help us fulfill various purposes in our life. But when a soul mate unexpectedly enters our lives, then they help us grow just the way we should – in the best way possible.
The attraction initially causes what two people feel when they see each other for the first time, and no one has control over it, not even the events that take place.
The right person can come into your love life even after a long relationship or a serious relationship you have been in. Getting into a new relationship right after the last relationship is also wrong.
You need to work on yourself, get to know yourself, put yourself in the first place in life, and release your heart and emotions so that someone new can become a part of your life. The main goal of a new relationship is to have a good and healthy relationship that will make you happy from the start.
Becoming the right person
The best relationship advice I got a long time ago and that remains deep in my heart is to become the person you would like to be with in a romantic relationship. The trick is that we are looking for the right person, but does anyone ever wonder if they are relationship material?
Well, instead of creating a perfect girlfriend or boyfriend in your head, invest all of your energy into becoming one. But I’m not talking about making your dating app profiles better here or having the best Tinder photo to attract the opposite sex.
I’m talking about really becoming your own dream date. Trust me – when you succeed in doing this, happiness will follow.
The power of destiny
Once you do everything in your power, all that is left is to put your happiness in the hands of God. Even if you don’t think so, God has a plan for you, and he has your soulmate waiting for you.
If you’re meant to be with someone, it will work out. Whether it’s next month or in five years, what’s meant to be will always be. Real love and the right person come at the right time!
Right Person, Wrong Time Quotes
If you’re still not sure that you’re not the only one going through this kind of scenario, I hope that these quotes about the right person, wrong time situation will help ease the pain.
1. “Right person, wrong timing doesn’t mean God was wrong. It means you were there at the right time to fulfill something else. Look for it.” ― Shannon L. Alder
2. “Right person, wrong time. Right time, the wrong person.” ― Unknown
3. “It is a travesty when two hearts, at different intervals in life, find each other. And although they would otherwise be perfect for each other, they can’t be together, for the timing isn’t right.” ― Unknown
4. “Sometimes, the right person comes along at the wrong time, and you have to just trust fate and hope it leads you in the right direction, and it all evens out.” ― Carian Cole
5. “Katie says, ‘You can’t choose the time and place the when and where with whom you fall in love.’
She says, ‘It just happens like that weird feeling you get right before you fall asleep when you gasp in surprise because your muscles just relaxed and you feel like you are falling.’
She says, ‘Marcie, you shouldn’t worry about it
give it time to actually happen.’
I guess
I worry that I won’t do it right.
That it’ll be the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong person.” ― Sarah Tregay
6. “It’s funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.” ― Louis Sachar
7. “About time, what I really learned from studying English is: time is different with timing.
I understand the difference between these two words so well. I understand falling in love with the right person at the wrong timing could be the greatest sadness in a person’s entire life.” ― Xiaolu Guo
8. “When people say right person, wrong time, or wrong person, right time, it’s usually a cop-out. They think that fate is playing with them. That we’re all just participants in this romantic reality show that God gets a kick out of watching. But the universe doesn’t decide what’s right or not right. You do. Yes, you can theorize until you’re blue in the face whether something might have worked at another time or with someone else. But you know what that leaves you?” “Blue in the face?” I asked.”Yup.” ― Rachel Cohn
9. “It’s not about being in the right place at the right time; it’s about being the right person, even if you find yourself in the wrong circumstances.” ― Mark Batterson
10. “It’s scary being loved. Because life is complicated and all too often it throws you off balance by sending you the right person at the wrong time.” ― Guillaume Musso
Right Person Wrong Time Songs
Many artists turned their pain regarding the right person, wrong time scenario into beautiful song lyrics. If you’re feeling down, or if you’re still not sure about your right person, wrong time situation, I promise that you’ll feel better after listening to these:
1. “Right Words Wrong Time” by Carly Rae Jepsen
2. “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift
3. “Wanna Be” by Betty Who
4. “I Found” by Amber Run
5. “Love You Goodbye” One Direction
To Wrap Up:
It’s up to you whether you believe in the right person, wrong time concept. If you’ve had a similar experience, I know it broke your heart, and it was probably one of the most painful things you had to go through.
Nevertheless, that doesn’t give you an excuse to give up on love. Stop looking back and focus on becoming the right person and the best possible version of yourself.
At the end of the day, what’s important is to have faith that the right person will come at the right time.