¿Por qué aún me siento unido a mi ex? 20 posibles razones

¿Por qué sigo sintiéndome unida a mi ex?? It’s been a while since the breakup, but I can’t stop pensando en ellos. ¿Por qué siento tal fuerte conexión with someone who’s been out of my life for some time?

We’ve all dealt with similar questions at some point in our lives. I know I have. And I kept looking for answers that were nowhere to be found.

But now, when this person is long gone from my memory, and I’m emotionally distanced from the entire situation, I’ve managed to find a reasonable explanation for this feeling.

To be exact, I found 20 reasonable explanations, and I’m more than happy to share them with you. Not only that: if you read on, you’ll also get un breve tutorial sobre cómo dejar de sentirse tan atraído por ellos.

¿Es normal seguir sintiendo algo por un ex años después?

Yes, it’s perfectly normal to feel something for an ex you broke up with ages ago. But I promise you: this is not love – it’s more nostalgia, a feeling of warmth and grief for the good old days.

¿Por qué aún me siento unido a mi ex? 20 razones

Éstas son las razones más comunes por las que sientes un poderoso vínculo con tu ex. ¡Descubre las tuyas!

1. Cada uno se cura a su propio ritmo

El tiempo que tardan en cicatrizar las viejas heridas varía de una persona a otra. Si estabas muy unido a tu ex pareja y la relación duró mucho tiempo, es normal que tardes mucho en superarlo.

This is a person you shared your entire life with. You two built habits together, and it’s perfectly normal that you still feel like they’re around.

It’s all about the little things. You feel connected to them when you wake up in the morning, still expecting a text. Then you ask yourself if they also looked at their phone, waiting for your name to pop up.

Algunas personas superan esta sensación antes, mientras que para otras, es lleva tiempo to cut ties with their ex. It’s not a big deal if you belong to the second group.

For you, enough time hasn’t passed. Just remember: we all sanar a un ritmo diferente.

2. Cuestionar su decisión

If you’re wondering: “Why do I still feel connected to my ex?” the reason might be hidden in the fact that you’re not so sure about your decision. You’re questioning your entire relationship, and you can’t help but ask yourself if breaking up was the right choice.

¿Quizá fue una decisión impulsiva? ¿Te enfadaste y les dijiste que les dejabas sin sopesar todos los pros y los contras?

In that case, it’s no wonder sientes que todavía hay asuntos pendientes entre vosotros dos.

Esto es especialmente cierto si su corazón y mente no están afinados. A veces, tu cerebro te dice que has hecho la única elección posible.

Pero tu corazón se pregunta si se merecen un segunda oportunidad.

No existe ninguna poción mágica que te ayude a resolver este dilema. Escucha a tu intuición y haz lo que te diga.

3. El periodo de duelo aún está en curso

There is no shame in grieving someone you’ve loved. It’s natural that you’re heartbroken después de un ruptura devastadora.

You’re going through different etapas del duelo, and that’s perfectly normal.

But sometimes, your grief doesn’t allow you to see things clearly.

A veces, you actually want to be connected to your ex. You hope that they’re out there, pensando en ti with the same intensity you’re thinking about them.

All of this will pass once the grieving period is over. Your wounds are still fresh, and you still haven’t moved on with your life.

Una vez que eso ocurra, el vínculo que crees tener con tu ex también se romperá.

4. Idealizar su relación pasada

The number one thing that’s keeping you from getting over your ex is that you’re not looking at your relationship realistically. Now that it’s ended, you only remember the good times.

You think it was a one-of-a-kind type of love and assume you’ll never have the same feelings of love for another person.

Bueno, odio reventar tu burbuja, pero su relación anterior terminó por una razón en el primer puesto. En el fin de la jornada, it means it wasn’t so perfect, was it?

Apuesto a que ustedes dos tenían una buena relación. Fue agradable mientras duró.

Intenta verlo así en lugar de idealizarlo. Así enamorarse de nuevo. And most importantly – you will feel connected to someone else again.

5. Recordatorios en las redes sociales

¿Ha pensado en bloquear a tu ex on social media? I know you don’t want to appear bitter and petty. Yes, blocking someone who was a huge part of your life can seem a little childish.

Pero qué es más importante: lo que tu ex pensará de ti o tu propia bienestar y salud mental? Verás, la razón por la que todavía te sientes fuertemente conectado a ellos es que siguen apareciendo en tu redes sociales alimenta.

Every time they post a new selfie or story, you end up upset. It’s like you fall back in love with them whenever you see them on your phone screen.

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Wouldn’t it be easier to block them once and for all and be done with it?

6. You don’t want to let go

As strange as this might sound, sometimes, deep down, we’re the ones who refuse to let go of the ones who broke our hearts. Of course, you’re completely unaware of this and convinced that you can’t wait to get over this man or woman.

Pero la verdad es muy distinta. Llorando por ellos y echándolos de menos se ha convertido, de un modo extraño, en tu zona de confort.

You’ve got used to the pain, and with time, it empezó a definirte. Así de fácil, se convirtió en parte de tu personalidad.

You’re actually the one who doesn’t want to let go. What would you do with all of your free time?

After all, thinking about them is the center of your day. It’s what your life revolves around.

RELACIONADO: ¿Se arrepentirá de haberme perdido? 7 señales de que lo hará y cómo conseguirlo

7. They’re still part of your life

​Have you seguir siendo amigo de tu ex after the breakup? Or maybe they’re just still a part of your life, and you can’t change it – maybe you’re coworkers, neighbors, or your lives are connected in some other way.

In that case, it’s no wonder you feel that the bond between you two is so strong. After all, they’re always there, as if nothing has changed.

You did your best to get over them, but that isn’t possible when you keep running into them. You can’t help but feel that your story isn’t over just yet.

If it’s possible, por favor, elimínalos de tu vida. Trust me – they have no place there anymore.

On the other hand, if you’re forced to communicate with them, do your best to minimize your contact. Before you know it, you’ll start feeling better.

8. No hay ninguna nueva relación a la vista

¿Por qué sigo sintiéndome unida a mi ex? Cuando me hacía la misma pregunta, descubrí la respuesta muy rápido.

Pensé que era listo para conocer a alguien new, but in reality, I hadn’t exponerme. I wasn’t dating anyone new, and I wasn’t doing anything about it.

Does this sound familiar? I’m not saying that you must jump into a new relationship.

Pero el caso es que you don’t text other people, you haven’t installed dating apps, you’re not flirting with anyone… Basically, you’re still behaving as if you were in a serious relationship.

Lo entiendo, necesitas más tiempo para dejar entrar a alguien nuevo. Pero privarte de la posibilidad incluso de conocer a un novio o novia potencial no es una forma sana de afrontar tu ruptura.

You’re not allowing anyone else to have your attention. So what other choice do you have but to focus on your ex?

9. Todavía sientes algo por ellos

You’re just a human being, and you can’t erase someone from your heart just like that. It’s possible that there is no deep reason for the feeling of connection with your ex.

Usted todavía los amo – it’s as simple as that. Or maybe romantic love is too strong a word for your emotions.

The bottom line is that you still have feelings for this person. And there’s nothing wrong with this.

Of course, you shouldn’t allow this emotion to prevent you from avanzando. But you shouldn’t ignore it either.

Acepta que aún amas a tu ex y trabaja para matar ese amor dentro de ti.

10. Tu ex sigue siendo tu persona

This man or woman wasn’t only your lover. They were your person – your socio criminal, su mejor amigoy un miembro de su familia.

And now, all of that is lost in the blink of an eye. It’s perfectly normal that you can’t cut all of your ties with them just like that.

Por mucho que lo intentes, sigues sintiendo una fuerte conexión emocional con ellos. But when you ask yourself: “Do I sigo queriendo a mi ex?” you can’t seem to find the answer.

That’s because you’re no longer in love with them. Nevertheless, todavía los amas as a friend and as someone you’ve spent a mucho tiempo con.

Don’t worry: there is nothing unusual about this, especially if you two had a strong bond.

11. Cosas no dichas

A veces, todo lo que necesitas es cierre correcto to feel fully disconnected from another person. But sadly, that’s not what you got.

You never got an explanation for your breakup, or you haven’t had the chance to tell them everything that’s been on your mind.

It’s clear that there are a bunch of things left unsaid here. You feel like you have asuntos pendientes en su relación anterior, and that’s what’s keeping you so connected with them.

Here’s a piece of relationship advice: if you can’t or don’t want to talk to them, write them a letter one last time. You don’t have to actually send it – it’s enough to get everything you want to tell them out of your system.

12. Fueron tu primer amor

​They say we all remember our primer amor mientras respiremos. Comparamos cada una de nuestras nuevas relaciones con ellos, y nunca lo superamos de verdad.

If your ex was your first love, and you’ve heard a bunch of similar stories, you could assume that the same thing will happen to you. Idealizas tu relación y esperas pasar el resto de tu vida pensando constantemente en ellos en algún lugar de tu cabeza.

Créeme si te digo que puedes olvidar tu primer amor. De hecho, la mayoría de la gente rara vez lo recuerda.

13. “What if ” questions

What if you two could have worked out your differences? What if you stayed together? What if you’re meant to be, and this is just a sign from the Universe that you should fight harder?

All of these questions are bothering you, and that’s the reason for your emotional connection.

But let me ask you: what’s the point? Si usted es destinado a terminar con alguiensucederá. No tiene ningún sentido romperse la cabeza por ello.

En lugar de pensar en todos los "y si...", "podría..." y "debería...", céntrate en el momento presente. Saca lo mejor de tu vida hoy.

Remember that you can’t change the past. You can affect your future, but your destiny is written down in the stars. So, why bother?

14. Recordatorios de amigos comunes

You know what’s even worse than your ex popping up all over your social media profiles? Your friends and other people close to you mentioning them all the time.

You feel connected to them because someone keeps on bringing them up. As far as you’re concerned, it’s like they’re still physically present in your life.

This is especially the case if you two have a lot of mutual friends. Why don’t you try taking a break from them?

I’m not saying you have to cut these people out of your life – just focus on other people until you’re better. Or simply ask them to stop mentioning your ex.

15. You’re lonely and bored

If you keep on asking yourself, “Why do I still feel connected to my ex?” here is another simple reason. I know you’d probably love to romanticize this connection, but is it possible that you’re just lonely and bored?

There is nothing and no one occupying your time and attention right now. So why wouldn’t you pick at old wounds a bit just to keep yourself busy?

If you suspect this to be the reason you’re feeling like this, get a new hobby, go out with your friends, or do anything else that will keep your mind off your previous relationship.

16. 16. Baja autoestima

​Somewhere deep inside, you are scared that you’ll nunca encuentres a alguien nuevo que te ame. You think you’re indigno de amory te consideras afortunado de que esa persona te haya hecho su novia o novio.

You don’t actually feel connected to your ex – you grieve the autoestima que solían darte. Sin ellos, tus inseguridades vuelven.

Ellos fueron los que te dio la validación and a sense of worth. I hate to break it to you, but you’ll continue feeling like this until you realize you’re the only one who determines your value – with or without a relationship partner.

17. Se niegan a dejarte marchar

Las energías y la conexión espiritual son cosas raras. Maybe you feel so bonded with your ex because they’re actually connected to you.

Somewhere on the other side of the world or just across the street, they refuse to let you go. Maybe they’re doing it deliberately or subconsciously.

But the point is the same: The vibrations they’re sending you are holding you back from moving forward.

Their love for you is so powerful that it doesn’t allow you to get over them.

18. Almas gemelas

Otra razón de esta fuerte conexión es que los dos sois almas gemelas. You’re not emotionally codependent, and you know you can live without them, but a un trozo de tu corazón seguirá siendo suyo.

Years can pass by, you can date other people, and you can be miles apart from each other, but you’ll always feel this inexplicable bond.

This is someone who completes you in a special way. A person you feel the most powerful spiritual connection with ever, even if you’re physically nowhere near each other.

Véase también: ¿Es mi alma gemela? 13 señales definitivas de que has encontrado a tu media naranja

19. Relación kármica

Algunas personas ven un relación kármica como tipo de alma gemela relationship. Yes, they have some things in common – after all, a karmic relationship is also a relationship between two souls.

Este tipo de romance es turbulento y tóxico. Aunque tu ex y tú compartíais un gran amor y pasión, nunca pudisteis encontrar un punto medio.

El compromiso nunca ha sido una opción, y la relación parecía imposible de mantener desde el primer día.

If this sounds familiar, and you still feel connected to your karmic ex, it’s quite likely that your romance kármico isn’t over just yet. And guess what: it won’t be until you both learn the lessons the Universe wants you to.

20. Conexión de llama gemela

If you’re in the middle of your viaje de la llama gemela, you’ll forever feel a deep connection to tu alma espejo. You two are not together at this exact moment because you’re going through a stage of separation.

No obstante, deep down, you know that this is the person you’ll end up with. Te sientes siempre unido a ellos porque tu unión de llamas gemelas es realmente único.

See also: Twin Flame Signs: 22 Ways To Know You’ve Met Your “Mirror Soul”

¿Cómo dejar de estar tan apegado a mi ex? 5 soluciones

Estos son algunos consejos que puedes utilizar para afrontar una ruptura y deja de querer a tu ex pareja.

1. El poder del amor propio

Todos los expertos en relaciones te dirán lo mismo: una vez que aprendes a quiérete a ti mismo más, los demás perderán importancia. Prioriza tu propio bienestar y salud mental y date cuenta de que you’re destroying yourself by grieving over someone who nunca te merecí.

2. Nuevo comienzo, nuevo tú

En lugar de ver esta ruptura como una maldición, considérala como tu mayor bendición. Recuerda, todo sucede por una razón, and you still haven’t figured out yours.

Vea esto como una oportunidad para nuevo comienzo. Reinventa tu vida sin esa persona a tu lado y, lo más importante, ¡reinvéntate a ti mismo! The end of a relationship isn’t the end of your life.

3. Ningún contacto

I can’t stress this one enough, but you really must corta todos los lazos con tu ex. En lugar de seguir siendo amigos por cortesía, vaya ningún contacto.

Bloquea su número, deja de seguirles en todas las redes sociales y pide a tus amigos que no les mencionen. Ya sabes lo que dicen: ojos que no ven, corazón que no siente.

4. La nostalgia no es tu amiga

Usted can’t stop thinking about your ex porque you’re anclado en el pasado. You look at pictures of you together, listen to songs that remind you of them, smell their clothes…

What’s the point in that? Stop pining for the old days and pay attention to the present moment. I bet there is a lot to enjoy in life right now – you’re just failing to see it.

5. Racionalizar la ruptura

En lugar de pensar en cómo recuperar a tu ex, tratar de racionalizar esto relación que terminó por una razón.

Haz una lista de los pros y los contras en un papel. Pero quítate las gafas de color de rosa.

I know you’ll realize that romper con ellos fue en realidad lo mejor que podría haber pasado.

Conclusión

Having your ex intrude on your thoughts all the time is quite hard. But I want you to know that you’re not alone.

At some point in our lives, we’ve all asked the same question: “¿Por qué sigo sintiéndome unida a mi ex??”

Y adivina qué: we’ve all found the answer. Not only that, we’ve all managed to get over them successfully. So will you!