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How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl In 17 Brilliant Ways

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl In 17 Brilliant Ways

Every guy in the world has wondered how to keep a conversation going with a girl at one point. Yes, the ones everyone sees as the biggest stunts and players included.

Let’s face it: men have a harder time when it comes to breaking the ice. You have to make the first move, come up with a great conversation starter, and keep the communication alive, which is not always the easiest thing in the world.

At the same time, you’re putting yourself at the risk of being rejected all the time – and that is something no one enjoys no matter how much confidence you might have.

Therefore, it’s perfectly natural to wonder how to keep a conversation going with a girl, especially if you’re a beginner in these things.

You’re completely clueless about the unwritten rules of dating and hitting on girls. You’re a guy who wants to play his cards right, but at the same time, terrified of making the wrong move and blowing things before they even start.

Well, worry not because I’ve got you covered. Here is a detailed tutorial on how to keep a conversation going with a girl – both in person and via text.

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl In Person?

Approaching girls in person is not easy for everyone. First of all, you have no time to think about what you’ll say next. You have to be sharp-minded and quick if you want to impress her.

Also, she’ll notice if you blush or get your tongue twisted. Therefore, you have to be your best self if you want to get everything right. Well, this is how you’ll do it.

You can’t be confident without your own approval

Happy man and woman sitting and talking in a cafe

There is one crucial thing when it comes to talking to girls. It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl if you’re just learning how to approach women or if you want to perfect your flirting skills: confidence is everything.

Don’t listen to anyone telling you that girls only fall for rich guys or that you have to look like you’ve just gotten off a magazine cover to attract a decent woman. Don’t get me wrong: the truth is that you must have a certain set of qualities to keep the other sex next to you.

But, the most important thing of them all is your confidence. If you’re struggling with insecurities, you’ll fail before you even try anything.

Let’s picture this situation. You’re talking to a girl you like and it’s pretty clear that she is also interested in you.

Nevertheless, you don’t believe in yourself right from the start. You think of yourself as not enough, and you wonder why this awesome girl is even giving you her time.

It’s nothing she did – you just see her as out of your league. You two haven’t even started dating, but you’re already worried about her dumping you, and you see all of this as a catastrophe waiting to happen.

It’s obvious that you have some serious self-esteem issues. You don’t see yourself as a valuable man, and that prevents you from making any bigger moves.

Well, without being aware of it, you’re actually sending this (and every other) girl a strong message with this kind of behavior. You don’t think of yourself as worthy, so why would she?

Show her that you believe in yourself and she’ll follow

Look, I’ll be honest with you here. We all have our share of insecurities. But, does that mean that you should allow them to take the best of you and ruin your chance of happiness? Certainly not.

Having all of this in mind, the key to talking successfully with girls is quite simple: it’s all about your confidence. If you show a girl that you believe in yourself, she will follow your lead for sure.

If you respect yourself – she will consider you worthy of respect. If you think that you’re valuable – she will also see your worth. That’s just how things roll in the dating world.

I’m not telling you to be overly self-admiring or ego-centric. Just keep telling yourself that this will work out for the best. And, even if it doesn’t – it’s not the end of the world.

The opportunity doesn’t come gift-wrapped – you must take risks

the young smiling blonde talks to the man and smiles

I won’t lie to you: rarely anything will go smoothly in life, especially when it comes to girls. If you’re a hopeless romantic, you might expect to bump into the woman of your dreams on the most ordinary day ever.

Well, even though that would be great, in the real world, it’s unlikely to happen. The truth is that in most cases, the opportunity won’t be handed to you. Instead, you have to struggle for it.

No, I’m not talking about the ancient days where you had to literally fight for the woman you love or even start a war to win her heart over.

I’m talking about the fact that no lady will appear on your doorstep gift-wrapped. You won’t magically learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl, how to date women, or how to make them fall for you.

Whether you like it or not, you have to take risks. I’ll be honest here: you will fail multiple times. But hey, there will also be the moments when you’ll thrive, and that’s exactly what makes failures worthy.

You know what they say: nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Look, you always have a choice. You can choose to play it safe. This way, you’ll protect yourself from every possibility of losing, being rejected, or making a fool of yourself.

You won’t have to go through all the trouble of hitting on girls. There won’t be any humiliation, sleepless nights, sweaty palms, or nervous feelings in your stomach every time you have to talk to her…

You can stay in your comfort zone, waiting for a miracle to happen. If we’re real, that miracle will probably never come, but hey, one can hope.

On the other hand, if you choose to take risks, you will go through all of this stress. But, trust me: it will all pay off in the end.

What does this mean in practice? Well, for example, when you see a girl you like, don’t wait too long to approach her because if you don’t do anything right away – someone else will.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment to start the conversation because that moment might never come, and before you know it, the opportunity is lost.

So, my advice here is quite simple: just go for it. When you see a girl you like, act on it immediately. Even if you fail, at least you’ll know you tried.

If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail

a man and a woman stand in a club and talk while drinking wine

Yes, I told you to go for it, which indicates that you should follow your gut and be as spontaneous as possible. Well, even though this sounds great in theory, in practice, things don’t always go as planned.

After a while, you’ll have tons of ice breakers and pick-up lines on your sleeve. It will be enough to just look at the girl to come up with the most convenient entrance line to knock her off her feet.

Nevertheless, you’re not there just yet. You’re just learning to keep the conversation going, which probably means that you’re not so experienced when it comes to girls (or maybe you simply have no experience so far).

Either way, the point is that at this stage, you can’t just approach a girl without any clue as to what you’re about to say. You’re a beginner and that clears the path for anxiety to get the best of you.

Let’s picture a hypothetical situation. You’ve been working on your self-esteem, you don’t think of yourself as a pathetic loser, and you are aware that you must take risks in order to achieve something.

It’s not that you see yourself as this player who can win over every girl in the world. You’re prepared for failure, but you also don’t expect it.

In short terms, you think of yourself as ready to start a conversation with a woman.

You’re out with friends and a certain girl captures your attention. You can’t get your eyes off her, and you decide that this is it. This is your shot to do things differently.

Unlike all those other times, this time, you’ll make a move. After all, what is there to lose? The worst thing that can happen is her rejection. But, you’ve already gone through that scenario, and you know that even if it ends up badly, it won’t be the end of you.

So, you do exactly what you never had the courage to do before. You go over to her and you two meet.

What next? That’s right – you’re just standing there in front of her unable to pronounce a word.

Why? Well, because you have no idea what you might or should say. It has been ages since you’ve gotten this far and it’s natural to be utterly confused.

Let’s be real: this scenario is quite likely, and if you want to avoid it, you can’t be all that spontaneous. Instead, you have some planning to do before even starting a conversation with the girl, let alone wondering how to keep it alive.

Please, don’t take everything so literally. I’m not advising you to collect a bunch of pick-up lines and conversation topics and go around with your little notebook that you’ll read every time you talk to a girl.

I just want you to picture this conversation in your head before it takes place. Of course, you can never predict every little thing (especially the girl’s replies), but you certainly can make a general plan.

What will be your opening line? Will you use humor to your advantage? Will you pay her a compliment before anything else? What will be your trump card?

If she gives you the green light, then what will your next move be? Will you try asking her to come over right away? Or, will you focus on arranging a date? Will you get her number and move to text messages?

What will happen if she rejects you? Will you continue pushing her or will you take “no” as an answer and pull back that instant?

So many questions and no answers in sight. Don’t let either of them discourage you.

I don’t want you to think in detail regarding all of these matters. I just want you to plan ahead in order to reduce the possibility of failing.

Don’t sound like you’re reciting a previously learned speech when you stand in front of a girl – trust me, she will notice. Don’t plan actual sentences you’ll use to hit her.

All you need are some basics. You need a framework of your strategy before you start acting on it.

It’s not the answer that enlightens, but the question

Beautiful man and woman sitting in a cafe enjoying in coffee and lemonade

Someone once said that a wise man doesn’t give the right answers – he asks the right questions. You’re the one taking the initiative here, right?

Well, since you’re in charge, it’s your job to keep the conversation alive, and what better way to do it than to ask some questions that will inspire every girl to talk about herself.

  • Open-ended questions

The first piece of advice is to always ask open-ended questions. These are the questions one cannot answer with a plain “yes” or “no”.

So, instead of asking her if she’s tired, ask her: “What was your day like?”

If you pick the first option, it is still possible for the conversation to revive. Maybe your girl will start blabbing about everything she has been up to lately – including her tiredness.

Nevertheless, who says that you’ll run into some extrovert who will do all the hard work for you? What if you meet a shy girl who will just answer your question without starting a new topic or at least asking you the same thing.

Basically, you’re putting everything in her hands. You’re no longer in charge, and it means that you have no control whatsoever.

On the other hand, if you ask her an open-ended question, then everything will be much easier. She’ll start talking and you’ll follow. Before you know it, you two will find yourselves in the middle of a decent conversation without actually moving a finger about it.

  • Flirty questions

Whatever you’re doing, always keep in mind that this is not a job interview. Yes, your questions should be as flirty and as interesting as possible. Your aim is to get to know the person next to you better, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to forget how to flirt with her.

Ask her about her love life, about the way she sees the perfect date, her deal-breakers, and things that attract her to men.

Don’t get me wrong: this doesn’t mean that you should ask overly intimate questions. Don’t invade her privacy – you two are just in the beginning.

Most importantly: don’t be rude. Mind your manners and don’t cross the line.

It’s one thing if you sense that the atmosphere is right to ask her, i.e., what’s her biggest turn on. But, you can’t pop this question out of nowhere just because you know it’s flirty. If you do so, you’ll be seen as a weirdo.

  • Deep questions

Finally, when you spend a little more time talking to a girl, it’s time to take things to another level. You’ve already shown her that you know how to flirt, that you can be playful, and that you’re self-confident.

Well, now is the time for this girl to see your other, deeper side. It’s about time for her to notice how intelligent, open-minded, interesting, and wise you are.

In order to accomplish this, I suggest you start a deep questioning game. It’s the simplest thing in the world: you ask her a personal question, wait for her answer, and then it’s her turn to ask.

Here, you’ll include some philosophical or even religious questions to explore her mind. This game will help you find out more about the way this person thinks, along with more about her moral values and attitudes toward life.

Once again, planning is everything. Therefore, don’t think of the questions on the spot. Instead, prepare at least some of them to break the ice and to inspire her to continue.

There are only three things a girl needs: food, water, and compliments

Handsome young man telling something to his girlfriend and smiling while sitting at the table outdoors together

Most girls will tell you that they don’t care much about being praised. They will tell you they don’t need compliments to feel good about themselves.

I will reveal to you a secret: they’re lying. As confident as a girl is, she likes receiving compliments, and this should definitely be a way to start a conversation.

When you approach a girl, begin by telling her how beautiful she is. You don’t want to put all the focus on her appearance, but hey, you’re only getting to know her – it’s not like you can tell her that you love her sense of humor or her intelligence before you two have even talked for real.

But, be careful here. Don’t cross the line and don’t talk too much about her body unless you want to be perceived as indecent.

Instead, it would be better to say how her smile enlightened the entire room or how she smells great.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is forgetting about compliments as the conversation goes further. As you two keep talking, don’t forget to pay her a compliment every now and then.

Once you get an insight into her personality, it’s time to praise her brains. But, don’t forget to tell her something nice about her outfit or the way she looks today either.

Of course, your entire conversation shouldn’t be about giving her compliments. The last thing you want her to think is that you are a kiss-up.

Stand out with your compliments

Also, make your compliments as original as possible. I hate to break it to you, but at this point, you’re just another fish in the pond for this girl.

No, I’m not claiming that she is ego-centric and that she thinks she is better than you. But, the truth is that dozens of guys are hitting on her right now.

No matter how a girl looks and what set of qualities she might have, there will be guys approaching her. This is especially the case with clubs – when a girl goes out, at least a few guys will try to chat up with her.

And, they all have almost the same pickup lines, including the same compliments. So, when you come to her with some worn-out sentence she has already heard three times that night, you don’t stand a chance to start a conversation, let alone to keep it going.

The point is to be original and to stand out from the crowd. It’s your job to give this woman a compliment that will make her feel exceptional – that’s how you’ll make her remember you forever.

Keep the conversation going no matter how random the topic gets

Happy couple enjoying a coffee at the coffee shop

So, you’ve introduced yourself. You’ve asked her a few questions about her and you told her some basic information about yourself.

Now what? How do you stop a conversation from dying out? What happens when it seems that you’ve run out of topics for discussion?

Well, you keep going no matter what. It’s always better to crack a random joke, keep on asking her questions, or just comment on the place (or even the weather) than to keep silent.

You’re in charge here and you have to get things to roll. This is where we go back to the step where we discussed planning.

This is exactly why you need to have a plan before talking to a girl. If you’ve thought this through, you’ll have a couple of interesting topics ready at all times.

Talk about your hobbies or something that you’re passionate about. Talk about something currently happening in your life or about your future plans.

At first, it would be better to insist on lighter topics. Let’s face it – if you ask a girl if she believes in life after death in just the first few lines, she’ll think of you as a weirdo (unless you do it in a funny way and make a joke about it, of course).

This and similar topics can be a part of the deep-questions game you’ll start after you two get to know each other a bit closer.

For now, it’s important to keep the wheel spinning.

It takes four seconds for silence to become awkward

According to some research, it takes just four seconds for silence to be awkward. Let’s face it – this is everyone’s biggest fear when it comes to initial conversations.

After a while, when you’re already all coupled up, there is nothing wrong with spending time next to each other without saying a word. In fact, at this point, the silence becomes blissful.

But, when you’re just starting to date (or are still not dating), the uncomfortable silence makes you both anxious and nervous.

You can’t seem to think about what you’ll say next if you don’t think of a few topics ahead of time (planning, planning, and planning!)

Even though you’re the one who is in control here, this all depends on the girl you’re talking to as well. You can’t be the only one blabbing all the time while she only gives short responses to your questions without putting an effort into engaging in any kind of conversation.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ll have a harder time keeping the conversation going with a shy girl. On the other hand, if she is talkative, she’ll take part in the conversation, and you’ll both kill off any awkward silence at the first sign of it.

If you want to be a good conversationalist, become a good listener

Happy man and woman enjoying hot drink

An average girl enjoys talking about herself – she will just never admit it. In most cases, she wants to avoid you thinking that she is ego-centric and is one who is only interested in herself.

But, that’s human nature – we enjoy discussing the things we’re interested in and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

There are also women who are scared of opening up at first. Nevertheless, when the timing is right, they’ll start talking about themselves as well.

Therefore, the worst thing you can do is blab about yourself without giving this girl a chance to say anything. You’ll annoy her, tire her mentally, and she’ll think of you as boring. If you do this, every girl will run away from you with the first chance they get.

That’s why it’s crucial to become a good listener before anything else. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t participate in a conversation and let her lecture all the time.

But, when you get a girl to talk, don’t interrupt her. Allow her to speak her mind and give her an opportunity to express herself.

To be interesting, be interested

This means that she needs to feel safe around you. When I say this, I refer to being safe in terms of not being judged.

Don’t make fun of something she says (it’s one thing to laugh at her jokes, and something completely different to ridicule her if she makes a mistake) and let her speak her mind.

Most importantly: show interest in what she has to say. After all, you have the desire to get to know this girl better, don’t you?

So, you can’t be yawning or rolling your eyes while she is talking. Besides this being rude, it also shows that you don’t give a damn about what she is trying to tell you.

What kind of a message does this behavior send her? Well, isn’t it clear?

You’re here for her looks and you are probably just trying to get lucky. You don’t think that she has anything to say, and you don’t even care about her life attitudes or experiences. Either way – it’s not a good sign for any girl.

Mansplaining

Mansplaining happens when a guy tries to clarify something to a woman in an exceptionally patronizing or condescending way. Come on, let’s not pretend that you have no idea what I’m talking about.

This happens when a woman doesn’t ask for your explanation, but you give it to her simply because you’re a man and you must know better. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not accusing you of doing this. At least, not consciously.

Nevertheless, the key is not to presume that this girl is clueless about a certain topic and that she needs your help understanding it better.

Don’t pretend to be an expert on some matter just because you’re male. After all, even if you do know something more on the topic, she is still entitled to her own opinion.

Don’t correct her, but respect her attitudes, even if they differ from yours. I’m not advising you to nod your head at everything she says.

You’re allowed to disagree, but that doesn’t mean that you’re right and she is wrong. Don’t impose your opinion on her and don’t act like a know-it-all.

Remember that the two of you are equals in this conversation, so don’t act like you’re above her.

Emotional, intellectual, artistic, or spiritual growth

a man and a woman sit and talk

When you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl, have in mind that your entire communication should have a purpose. Yes, your final goal is to make this girl yours, but I’m not talking about that.

I’m talking about the fact that it’s your job to challenge this girl’s thinking process. Ask her thought-provoking questions instead of going on and on with everyday, boring, usual topics.

Look, I’m not expecting you to talk about the Universe and the meaning of life all the time. Exaggerating with these conversation topics might bore her as well.

Nevertheless, you need to inspire emotional, intellectual, artistic, or spiritual growth in both of you. Of course, not all of this will be possible, so pick the field you find yourself most comfortable in.

Besides, you’ve already had the chance to get to know this girl better. See this as a chance to learn more about her interests so you can investigate them a little further.

Is she an intellectual type? Is she crazy about physics and medicine? In that case, inform yourself about these topics. It will be enough for you to drop a science-related pick-up line and she is all yours.

Is she a spiritual type? Is she into horoscope? In that case, dig a little deeper and find out more about the compatibility between your zodiac signs.

Trust me: you’ll knock her off her feet once she sees that you’ve put effort into acquiring knowledge about something she is fascinated with.

Girls are not built for small talk

I know I’ve told you that small talk is better than awkward silence – and it certainly is. But, don’t see that as an invitation not to come up with any other topic whatsoever.

Small talk is acceptable in the beginning if you have no other options and when you still don’t know the person enough to engage in a deeper conversation. Nevertheless, later on, it’s never a way to keep a conversation going.

In fact, it’s the first thing that kills it off. Once again, have in mind that dozens of guys are trying to talk to this girl at this very moment, and most of them probably use the same small talk phrases. Trust me: you don’t want to blend with the crowd in this case.

Avoiding filler words

A good piece of advice is to avoid filler words, such as “umm”, “you know”, “uh”, “right…” as much as you can. By using them, you’re not only making a pause – you’re also hesitating.

It shows that you’re not sure about what you’ll say next, and it is a clear sign that you don’t have enough confidence while speaking.

It’s a proven fact that your audience gets distracted when you use too many filler words. Even though this is not a public speech, this girl is still your audience and you want to capture her attention.

Remember that your body communicates as good as your mouth

Cheerful couple in a restaurant with glasses of red wine

When you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl, you only think about actually talking to her. Nevertheless, it seems that you keep forgetting about the power of non-verbal communication.

You see, your language does lots of work in every social situation, especially when you’re hitting on someone. You might not be aware of it, but trust me: your body posture, eye contact, gestures, use of space, touches, and other different things communicate as well as your mouth.

Let’s take this for an example. If you’re nervous, your palms will get sweaty. You’ll look down without the courage to look the other person in the eyes.

You’ll only take a little space, trying not to bother anyone. Maybe you’ll play with your hair or a button on your shirt.

The point is that you’ll be nervous as hell. Even though some girls might dig this and be crazy about a shy guy like you, the truth is that most of them will see your behavior as a lack of confidence – which it is.

That’s exactly why you have to work on your self-esteem before anything else. When you start believing in yourself, all of this will disappear.

After that, you’ll be able to proceed with showing this girl your feelings with the help of your body language.

  • Eye contact

Eyes are the windows to the soul. Therefore, you can’t look away while talking to a girl – that is, if you want to accomplish anything.

In fact, one of the best ways to seduce her and start a great conversation is to look deep into her eyes. Don’t stare like a creep. Instead, flirt with your entire face, and especially your eyes.

Don’t be discouraged if she glances at you and then looks away. She is probably teasing you or playing hard to get – it doesn’t mean she is not interested.

  • Physical touch

Before anything else, let me tell you that you must respect every woman’s personal space and boundaries. Even though they like when a man takes the initiative, it doesn’t give you the green light to be pushy and do things she hasn’t agreed upon.

Nevertheless, physical touch is a huge part of flirting and of nonverbal communication. It’s an intro for a relaxed conversation since it clears the tension away.

Besides, it’s important for this girl’s body to get used to your presence. Trust me: the intimacy is built from day one.

So, what should you do? How do you touch her without invading her boundaries?

Well, the key is in observing her reaction. For starters, try holding her hand while you two talk. Later on, gently touch her face when she is smiling.

If she moves away after your first attempt, back off and don’t try anything for a while. But, the point is that you have to be a pro here.

Is she moving away because she is playing hard to get? Or, is she really uncomfortable about your touch (which mustn’t be inappropriate)?

This is where you’ll have to pay attention to her body language. Is she smiling like she is teasing you? Or, is she really bothered by you being so near her?

  • Smile

Finally, it’s crucial for you to keep your smile on whenever you’re with this girl. I’m not saying that you should laugh like a lunatic when you two are discussing important matters.

Nevertheless, if she sees you smiling the moment she walks in the room, you’ll send her a positive vibe and she’ll start connecting you with positivity.

Clear intentions and clear purpose give clear results

a smiling young couple sitting on the balcony and talking

Indecisive men are not attractive to women – that’s a fact. Therefore, it’s important to make your intentions crystal clear right from the start.

Once again, don’t be too pushy when talking to her, and don’t let your entire conversation revolve around you two as a couple, but make it clear that you’re into her.

For example, when you’re greeting her, say “Heeey, sexy”. When you’re complimenting her, tell her that she’s “smoking hot” (but don’t go any further).

Also, when you’re with friends, make sure to treat her differently than everyone else. Talk to her more and make her feel special.

Is being jealous okay?

This is not your girlfriend, yet. Therefore, you have no right to be jealous or possessive. In fact, even if you two are together, this behavior is not acceptable.

But, if you’re hitting on her, you won’t talk to her about other guys, will you? Besides, you can show her a little cure sign of jealousy every now and then – just so she realizes that you want her for yourself.

You can tell her something like this: “Hey, wifey, who are you dressed up for tonight?” “All those guys are staring at you and that’s breaking my heart, haha ” or “When should I schedule our wedding date? I can’t let you be single for another day ‘cause someone might steal you from me”.

You’re making a joke, right? But, at the same time, maybe deep down, you’re being serious. She can never know for sure.

How do you avoid getting into the friend zone?

The most important thing at this point is not to get into the friend zone, which is likely to happen if you don’t move your communication to the next level anytime soon.

Trust me: if you step into this hell and if she starts seeing you as a brother or an old friend, there is no easy way of getting out of it.

When you meet a girl for the first time, ask for her phone number right away – that shows that you’re interested in her. Don’t make excuses as to why you want her contact.

When you’re in the middle of an interesting conversation, give her “the look” or grab her hand.

When you two are talking, don’t engage in topics about make-up and clothes. She has her girl friends for that. Don’t go shopping with her, and don’t turn into her dating coach when it comes to other guys.

When you go out with her, make sure she is aware that you’re asking her on a first date. Don’t make it a group thing and ask her for dinner or movies instead of a local coffee shop.

Practice makes perfect

a smiled man sitting behind a laptop

If you’re totally inexperienced when it comes to girls, you probably won’t score the first time. Even if you follow all of this advice strictly, it’s still possible for something to go wrong.

That is why you have to practice. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not advocating breaking women’s hearts just to perfect your skills.

Don’t lead them on, but talk to different girls every chance you get. If you’re too shy to do it in person, start with online dating.

Download a dating app and try some of your icebreakers. Look at what kind of lines girls dig the most.

Try complimenting them, try telling them a funny story, try being the nice guy, and try being direct right from the beginning. What approach got you the most replies?

Most importantly: which one made you feel the most comfortable? You see, you need to find “your thing” and your style of courting.

But, whatever you do, don’t fall into despair if a girl turns you down. You can be the biggest stud out there with the finest lines and moves, but you’ll get into a situation where a girl will tell you “no”.

This mustn’t destroy your confidence. It doesn’t have to be anything personal – she just doesn’t like you (or has other reasons not to give you a chance) and that’s her prerogative.

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl Over Text?

I don’t know if you’re wondering what to ask a girl on Tinder or if you want to message a girl whose phone number you got – starting the conversation and keeping it alive over text is not as easy as it seems.

It’s your job to keep her hooked on her phone, and sometimes, that looks like mission impossible. Well, not with this step-by-step guide, it doesn’t.

Text her before “later” turns into “never”

Happy man walking in autumn park and smiling while holding the phone in his hand

So, you’re on this dating app and a girl has captured your attention. Or, you’ve met her in person and you have her phone number.

At first glance, she looks like everything you’ve been searching for in a woman, but you keep postponing the first step.

You’re afraid that she might reject you. Or, you wait for the perfect timing. You can’t think of a good conversation starter.

The last thing you want is to be played for a fool. You know that this girl gets dozens of text messages all the time, and you don’t want to be just one of the guys who has a thing for her.

I get you. This gets easier with time, but trust me, you’ll always be nervous before texting the girl you like for the first time.

Nevertheless, does that mean that you’ll never step out into the unknown? Does that mean that you’ll let your fear control you? Does that mean that you’ll never be brave enough to actually start talking with a girl?

Absolutely not! A simple “What’s up?” or a compliment regarding her smile, appearance, or energy (if you’ve seen her in person) will be enough.

Of course, it would be best if you could come up with a more original line. There are tons of cheesy, but hilarious pick-up lines that will definitely make her laugh.

On the other hand, if you’re a romantic, choose a lovey-dovey pick-up line. Pay her a compliment and be honest about the way she knocked you off your feet.

Just move from a dead spot, for God’s sake. One thing is for sure: doing anything is always better than doing nothing!

A playful path is the road to happiness

a smiling man sitting on a couch with a phone in his hand

Talking to a girl in person is one thing. This way, she can sense your vibe. She can see that you have a smile on your face when you’re talking to her, and she’ll notice your positivity.

But, when you’re texting her, it’s a bit harder to make this kind of impression. This is exactly why you have to avoid being too formal and serious.

Don’t act like an immature brat who is unable to maintain a deep conversation either. Nevertheless, remember that you’re texting a girl you like – you’re not sending an email to your business partner.

You can be polite without being conventional.

For example, when you’re paying her a compliment, instead of writing things such as “You’re beautiful”, ask her “Are you always this beautiful?”

Instead of asking her “Would you go out on a date with me?”, say something like “If I asked you for a date right now, how would you respond to me?”

Instead of telling her “I like you”, make a joke and say “Oh Gosh, I see that you’re into me. Let me end your torment. I admit it, I like you back, haha.”

At first sight, you probably don’t see a great difference between these lines, but trust me – these seemingly little changes differ a good conversation from a bad one. Most of all: they help you stand out from every other guy in her direct messages.

Tease her before you please her

a smiling man sits in the office and keys on the phone

Remember how I told you to be direct about intentions when you’re talking to a girl you like in person? Well, that applies to texts as well.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should wear your heart on a sleeve right from the start. Avoid grand love declarations unless you want to chase her away.

Instead, tease her for a little bit. Make her wonder if you’re playing games or if you’re really into her.

She needs to feel the chemistry between you two. But, at the same time, you shouldn’t be at her arm’s reach.

Twist in the conversation

The key is adding a twist to your conversation. For example, if you have already arranged a date on the weekend, text her something like “I can’t wait for Sunday. I’m finally having a day off”.

See what you just did there? When she reads the first sentence, she’ll assume that you’re referring to your date. But, as she goes on, you’re actually talking about something else.

Another thing that works like a charm is turning the tables. Instead of texting her “I had the best time the other night”, tell her “I bet you were looking at me like that all night on purpose just to drive me crazy. Well, congrats, it worked”.

Instead of telling her “Hey, wanna go out for dinner”, ask her “So, when are you buying me dinner?” Or, if you’re brave, just write “Date and time?”

Instead of asking her ” Do you like me?”, text her “Are we officially flirting?” or “Is it me or are you hitting on me back?”

Instead of asking her to be your girlfriend, just text her this: “Okay, I’ll be your boyfriend as long as you insist so much”.

Make a girl laugh and you can make her do anything

Happy girl checking social media holding smartphone at home

If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl, the answer is pretty simple: make her laugh. Once you do that, she is all yours – you can count on that.

But, first of all, let’s make a difference between telling a funny joke and making fun of her. Remember this: the latter is not acceptable under any terms.

You don’t want to offend her or make her angry. Also, abstain from vulgar or inappropriate jokes. Even when you’re being funny, you have to remain respectful.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use your humor to tease her. Just be careful because there is a thin line between ambiguous jokes that will make her smile and tasteless and gross ones that will insult her.

– “Do you ever smell upsexy?” – “What’s upsexy?” – “Nothing much, you?”

– “I’m hiding in the bush to text you back. In Fortnite”

Send her something like this and I promise you: she’ll fall for you even harder.

On the other hand, texting things like:

– “Do you want to be my girlfrien? You’ll get the D later” is too risky. Even though some girls might find it hilarious, most of them would see it as nothing but a rude way to get into their pants. Therefore, it might be better to avoid this and similar ambiguous texts.

Overthinking: the art of creating problems that don’t even exist

Happy man key on phone

Should I reply right away? What should I text her back? Should I tell her a funny story? Or, is it better to talk about something she is passionate about?

Should I send longer answers? Or, do my texts sound too needy as they are now?

Should I thank her for giving me her phone number? Or, is it better to invite her out right away without much introduction?

Every guy in the world who is trying to figure out how to keep a conversation going with a girl has had the same dilemma. It’s perfectly normal for you to think about these details since we’re talking about a girl you’re in to.

But, trust me – overthinking will just ruin everything. I know I told you to have some general things planned out (a great conversation starter figured out and a direction in which you’d like to take it), but that doesn’t mean that you should obsess about every single letter you send.

This way, you’re not enjoying this texting game. Instead, you’re burdening yourself and letting anxiety get the best of you.

Overthinking kills all the magic. Sometimes, you have to be spontaneous.

I know that this is easier said than done, but come on, you can do it. Put an effort into relaxing, and stop seeing all of this as a big deal.

It won’t harm you to write down the first thing that comes to your mind from time to time. You’ll see – it will give you a better result than thinking everything through.

Never underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary

Smiling young man tourist using smartphone sitting in touristic tent at the beach

Even though this is not a formal conversation, but casual texting, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pay any attention at all to your vocabulary and spelling. Trust me: girls dig decent vocabulary and grammar.

Of course, you don’t want to be too formal, but don’t make her dissect every text you send her, trying to figure out what you intended to write.

Poor spelling and vocabulary will show her that you don’t care how your texts look, that you’re not well educated, and that you probably never read a book in your life – and neither of this is a desirable quality.

  • Abbreviations

This is not a formal letter or an email, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with using abbreviations such as “BTW”, “K”, or “LMAO”. They are perfectly acceptable. In fact, they’re much better than traditional and conventional lettering, which will leave the impression of being uptight.

But, please don’t exaggerate with these abbreviations. If you’re past your teen years, then “gr8”, “yolo”, or “wyd” are out of the question.

  • Punctuation

It’s similar with punctuation. You don’t have to literally use every single comma, but at least put a period (or a question mark or an exclamation point) at the end of every sentence.

This way, you’ll make your texts more readable and she won’t have to go through the extra trouble of following your random thoughts.

  • Emojis

When you’re not talking to a girl in person, it’s easy for her to misinterpret your texts. After all, she can’t see your facial expression, and sometimes, it’s vague as to whether you’re kidding or not.

That is why you’ll use emojis to save you – especially when you’re joking. Nevertheless, don’t exaggerate. There is no need for more than two of the same emojis in a row.

This is especially important when it comes to heart or kiss emojis. Please don’t use them too frequently – it’s kind of pathetic and needy.

Final Thoughts:

Now that you’ve figured out how to keep a conversation going with a girl in person and via text, you’re ready for the dating market.

With all the knowledge you have now, I guarantee that you’ll never run out of i nteresting conversation topics, so there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

So, why exactly are you waiting to try out your newly acquired set of skills?

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