CUIDADO com estes 15 sinais de que ele está a trair-te

You don’t know it for sure, but does o seu instinto keep telling you that something is off with your man? Trust me, I’m experiencing déjà vu right now because that eerie feeling is so familiar to me.

I was doubting my man’s fidelity, too, and unfortunately, my doubts came true in the end. Vou partilhar convosco os sinais mais evidentes he’s cheating on youpara que possa verificar se as suas dúvidas são verdadeiras ou não.

The truth is, we all want lifetime love and passion with our significant other, but most of us aren’t aware of all the hard work and effort it truly demands.

Love may have struck us out of the blue, but it’s up to us to keep it alive. But, keeping love alive all by yourself is not true love.

If one partner cheats or betrays the other one, that’s not amor verdadeiro either. Lack of interest, affection, intimacy, trust… those are all signs of falso amor de facto.

No matter how much you hate cheaters and betrayal, it still happens to you. Even if you did nothing wrong, even if you didn’t deserve it, you still get cheated on by your partner.

That’s life, and unfortunately, despite the pain that all of that unfairness gives you, you simply can’t affect or change some things. You can only choose how you’ll deal with those things and whether you let them weaken you or make you stronger…

Quais são os primeiros sinais de traição?

There are a few not-so-obvious signs of infidelity and, sadly, most of us aren’t able to realize them on time. Those first, let’s call them micro sinais de traiçãoO facto de o nosso sistema de informação ser muito simples, pode poupar-nos muitas dores e problemas se formos capazes de o notar a tempo.

Evitar, ser reservado em relação à sua telemóvel, seu fecho da linguagem corporal desligado, suspeito cartão de crédito facturas, alterações do aspeto físico, levantamentos, mais atividade e estranheza mensagens de texto no seu contas nas redes sociais…

Estas são algumas pequenas coisas e os primeiros sinais de alerta de que o seu homem pode estar a sair com outra mulher.

At first, you won’t pay much attention to these things, but as they come piling up (and they will, trust me), you’ll be more and more suspicious of him.

You’ll even try to confront him on several occasions, but he’ll somehow manage to convince you that you’re imagining it all.

A maioria dos homens usa isso técnica de transferência de culpa and, unfortunately, most women fall for it. He’ll try to make you blame yourself for even thinking that he’s being unfaithful to you.

As I said, in the beginning, his cheating ways and techniques will manage to make you believe that it’s all in your head. You’ll start wondering se está apenas a ser paranoica ou se ele está mesmo a traí-la em si.

MAS, se prestar atenção a estes sinais reveladores ele está a traí-la, you’ll have a good reason to confront him, and then he won’t have another choice but to admit it all to you…

15 Warning Signs That He’s Cheating On You

Para se salvar de uma parceiro de traiçãoe para salvar o seu coração de um doloroso desgosto, aqui estão os indicadores signs to look for in his behavior to know for sure if he’s cheating.

1. Desvia-se do seu comportamento quotidiano

When you’re in a long-term relationship, that is, when you spend a certain amount of time with someone, you get to know the real them… the way they react to certain situations and problems.

But, when that behavior drastically changes, it might be a sign that he’s/she’s enganar-vos ou que estão apenas a ser pressionados por outra coisa.

This alone isn’t a sure sign he’s cheating, but in combination with other signs, it’s definitely a good indicator that he’s being unfaithful.

The truth is, you can learn so much simply by observing a guy’s linguagem corporal.

For example, if he keeps his posture closed while you’re talking, or if he keeps blocking eye contact or does some other unfamiliar moves while you’re talking about his potential infidelity, you should consider it as you’ve apanhou-o a fazer batota.

Ele pode ser um bom mentiroso, mas a sua linguagem corporal definitely won’t be able to keep up with his lies. Sooner or later, his body language will uncover the real answers to every question you’re currently so desperately looking for.

2. Ele age de forma quente e fria

Quando um o homem começa a agir de forma quente e fria all of a sudden, it’s a huge bandeira vermelha that something is bothering him. In combo with all these signs (or most of them), it surely means that he’s cheating.

The thing is that he’s losing the game and he’s becoming aware of it. The whole thing is getting out of his hands and he simply doesn’t know what to do about it anymore.

All of his covers are slowly blowing up, and he knows that it’s just a matter of time when you’ll discover what he has been doing behind your back.

The worst thing is that he actually doesn’t know what he truly wants anymore. His feelings are all over the place, and he’s only sinking further into the abyss of his own lies.

One day, he thinks that he loves you and that is when he behaves ‘hot’. While, on other days, he thinks he has caught feelings for a outra mulher and that makes him behave ‘cold’ towards you.

3. Começa a esconder o telemóvel

Quer vá à casa de banho ou deite o lixo fora, o telemóvel está sempre com ele.

Ele turns his phone away from you while he’s texting, he always leaves it facing the screen down, and it simply makes you think that he is trying hard to never allow you to see what’s happening on it.

In addition, he even sometimes keeps it on Airplane Mode while he’s with you.

Todos esses esforços para esconder o telemóvel basta confirmar o seu intuição. Either he is hiding something from you or he is hiding you from someone…

Ver também: A pontuação do meu namorado no Snapchat continua a subir: 6 razões sorrateiras para isso

4. Mudanças de humor súbitas e imprevisíveis

A pressão obriga-o a estar constantemente no limite, causando imprevisibilidade alterações de humor.

It almost seems like he has male PMS (if that even exists) or something like that. He’s so afraid that he might get caught that he can no longer think straight.

Nalguns momentos, fica incontrolavelmente zangado e, de repente, muda de registo e torna-se demasiado simpático para si. Traz-lhe flores e faz algumas coisas simpáticas para si, para depois se zangar consigo ao longo do dia.

You feel like you’re constantly andar à volta dele com cascas de ovos because you don’t know how to behave anymore. Parece-lhe que está sempre a provocar essas mudanças de humor que ele tem, mas nem você tem a certeza de como o faz.

It’s not you, it’s not about you, it’s not because of you.

Your (cheating) partner probably has too much going on in his head and in his heart and even he isn’t able to cope with it anymore.

It’s obvious that he’s tearing apart at the seams, and it’s just a matter of time when he’ll come clean to you about everything.

I know it’s hard, but you should try to control yourself and behave as if nothing is happening… as if you don’t notice what’s tormenting him. That will totally drive him crazy and he’ll snap in one moment and admit it all.

5. Está sempre a provocar brigas

Este é um dos sinais mais evidentes ele está definitivamente a traí-la. No entanto, há dois cenários prováveis para explicar por que razão o faz.

The first one is because he’s just trying to make you romper com ele. He has the guts to cheat on you, but he isn’t so brave when it comes to admitting and dealing with it.

On the other hand, it may also be because of that whole double life he’s living. He simply can’t stand that pressure anymore and he needs to vent it out somehow.

Yes, getting into a fight with you may be just a way for him to vent out all of his negative and stressful feelings. However, if you answer those provocations in the right way, it’ll only make him stressed out even more.

Quando ele começa a chatear ou a fazer alguma coisa para a provocar, deve ficar calada. Deve recuar ou mesmo tentar acalmá-lo.

When he sees that he isn’t able to provoke you, it’ll make him even angrier. In one of his rage episodes, he’ll come out about his infidelity without him being aware of what he is doing.

6. Alteração óbvia da aparência

Let’s put it this way, he’s trying to look great for a outra mulher because he’s still trying to seduce and win her over.

He loses weight, brings back his muscle tone, and carefully chooses what he’s going to wear, especially if he’s leaving without you.

He shaves daily, combs his hair, and always wears cologne. His bank account activities show that he’s spending more money on new clothes, colognes, and fancy restaurants.

Todas essas coisas soam ainda mais suspeitas para si, porque reconhece o padrão. Sabe que ele fez tudo isso no início da vossa relação, quando estava a tentar conquistá-la.

7. Perde a noção dos pormenores

À medida que ele passa mais tempo consigo e com a amante, as memórias do tempo que passou com ela e as memórias do tempo que passou consigo começarão a confundir-se.

Schedules get crossed, and he won’t be able to keep track of where he was on any given day.

Ele vai ficar confuso e falar-lhe de um filme que vocês nunca viram juntos, mas que ele viu com a amante, ou vai propor-lhe ir àquele restaurante a que vocês foram há umas semanas atrás (mas que vocês nunca foram).

However, that confusion will be enough for you to start doubting his fidelity. As he continues to lie to both of you, he’ll only fall deeper and deeper into his own web of lies.

Sooner or later, one of you will find out the real truth, and you’ll probably wish to share it with the other one. It’s funny how his own lies will betray him and backfire on him.

8. He’s trying to make up with expensive (guilt) gifts

You were fighting for days, and now, all of a sudden, he’s nice (maybe even too nice) with you.

Aparece no seu local de trabalho sem avisar e traz-lhe flores ou as suas refeições favoritas. Surpreende-o com bilhetes para a sua banda preferida. Ele trata-o com um retiro de bem-estar e spa agradável e luxuoso.

It’s like he’s trying to buy your forgiveness, right? And, you know what? He probably is.

Esses presentes de culpa podem ser a prova de um cheating partner’s guilt mas, na maioria dos casos, é a técnica mais comum que batoteiros para se sentirem melhor.

He may also do it because he wants to remind you of how nice and thoughtful a man you have, so you can keep that in mind once you find out about his betrayal. That’s pretty bold, right?

Don’t fall under his manipulation. Nem todo o dinheiro do mundo, nem a prenda mais cara, poderiam redimir o preço de um coração partido e perdeu a confiança!

9. De repente, há pedidos de privacidade

De repente, ele precisa que a sua privacidade seja respeitada. Estabelece limites totalmente novos e pede-lhe que os respeite rigorosamente.

He closes the door while he’s working or checking emails… He locks his phone and hides the password from you… And, all those phone calls he’s getting from his ‘cousin’ lately, but hangs up the moment you enter the room? Yeah, it’s not his cousin.

It’s his side chick, and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want you to find out about her. That’s the most obvious digital sinal de batota.

Todos os coisas bonitas you used to share, he now hides. For you, it seems like he’s completely blocking you out of his life… and I know, it tears your heart apart.

You’re losing trust in your man and you have every right to do so.

Quer goste ou não, quer consiga aceitar a verdade ou não, o facto é que todos estes são sinais de alerta, pequenos mas bastante claros, de que o seu homem está a levar uma vida dupla.

Quando se ama verdadeiramente uma pessoa, nunca se pode excluí-la da nossa vida. When you respect someone and want to build a future with them, you don’t keep secrets nor do you have some hideous privacy requests because you’re a team.

You stop functioning as the private, separated ‘I and you’ and start functioning as the beautiful, united ‘we’.

10. A desconexão emocional é óbvia

On the one hand, your fights… on the other one, your doubts… it’s completely natural that all those things have started to drive you apart.

Even if you didn’t confirm your doubts and can’t tell for sure if your man is really enganar-vosO facto é que a desconfiança está a alastrar-se na vossa relação como um incêndio e não podem fazer absolutamente nada para o impedir.

Ficamos ali sentados à espera que ele queime tudo até ao fim.

It’s not that you’ve stopped loving him, but you’re aware that your emotions aren’t as deep and as strong as they were before.

That trust breach caused you to disconnect emotionally, and you feel like you don’t even recognize him anymore. You feel like he isn’t the man you fell in love with.

Your love and your relationship is weakening because doubts are prevailing the trust. And, the truth is, you can’t stay connected… you can’t keep loving someone you don’t believe anymore.

11. O seu horário é alterado

Assuntos administrativos são muito comuns e acontecem devido à quantidade de tempo que passamos com os nossos colegas de trabalho. O facto é que a maioria de nós passa mais tempo com os colegas de trabalho do que com os nossos parceiros.

However, if you’re em um relação duradoura, this means you already know your partner’s work schedule.

You know when they have the lunch break, when their work starts and finishes… and even if there are some sudden changes in their work schedule, you’re the first one they’ll inform about it.

Isto leva-nos à seguinte conclusão: se o seu homem ficar de repente no trabalho até tarde ou sair durante muito tempo viagens de negócios, that could be a sign he’s ter um caso.

De facto, a maioria batoteiros usam desculpas de trabalho para encobrir os seus casos.

If you notice any changes in your man’s work schedule or if he uses his work as an excuse to avoid seeing you too often, you should take it seriously. Maybe he isn’t cheating, but he’s definitely desperately trying to hide something from you.

12. A sua vida sexual mudou

Uma mudança súbita no que é habitual ou familiar na cama é um grande sinal de aviso de traição.

O seu homem pode ficar satisfeito com a quantidade de sexo que a amante lhe dá, o que provoca uma falta de sexo na vossa relação.

Mas, por outro lado, a maioria dos homens experimenta um enorme aumento de testosterona, que se manifesta como uma nova confiança durante o sexo.

Sentem-se fortes e masculinos, como se todas as mulheres do planeta quisessem dormir com eles. Os seus egos crescem diariamente e, com isso, o seu desejo sexual também começa a aumentar rapidamente.

Por isso, se notar que o seu homem está mais agressivo ou exigente na cama, talvez deva seguir o seu instinto e ir à raiz da causa dessa súbita mudança no seu apetite sexual.

13. Começou a reconhecer os padrões de gaslighting

Maybe you didn’t recognize it at the beginning, but you surely do now. He’s trying to stay in charge of your relationship and all this messy situation that he provoked by iluminação artificial tu.

It’s just another one of his manipulative, formas de batota to make you believe that you’re imagining things. If you fall for it, you’ll only end up apologizing to him for enganar-vos.

Yes, that’s how bad it may become IF you allow him to control you in this awful way.

He’ll try to get into your head and make you start questioning your own sanity. You’ll start blaming yourself for thinking that he might ever betray you.

It’ll completely undermine your autoestima. Once again, you’ll end up begging him not to leave you because of your ‘false’ accusations.

That’s only if you allow it all to him, of course. If you recognize on time that you’re being gaslighted, you’ll manage to resist it and make him feel sorry for trying to make a fool out of you.

14. Ele já mencionou a separação mais do que uma vez

Se o vosso homem tivesse tentado trazer o separação talk a few times already, it’s an obvious bandeira vermelha que ele quer terminar as coisas contigo e que he doesn’t love you anymore. 

Well, of course, the reason for it doesn’t have to be a new relationship, but it’s definitely one of the probable case scenarios.

Maybe he still didn’t realize it because his feelings are mixed or because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Talvez ele ainda te ama, but he feels awfully bad for betraying you and can’t stand looking you in the eyes anymore.

Another (not so ‘good’ reason) for this may be that he still isn’t sure how the other side feels about him. He doesn’t know where he stands with the other girl, and he simply doesn’t want to lose you both.

Se for esse o caso, há dois resultados prováveis. Either he’ll come clean and romper consigo assim que a outra parte decidir tornar as coisas oficiais entre eles.

OR, if his plans with the other girl fail, he’ll keep lying to you, pretending as if nothing happened, and praying that you never discover the truth.

That’s why you should never take his ‘separação talks’ lightly.

Da primeira vez que ele levantar essa questão e começar a ameaçar com uma separação, tem de ir ao fundo da questão e perceber porque é que ele está a pensar em acabar com a vossa relação.

15. You just can’t keep ignoring your inner voice

Even if your man doesn’t admit it to you after you confront him, you still won’t be able to get rid of your intuição.

That voice deep down in you is telling you that your entire relationship is a steaming pile of turds… that everything you believed in was a complete lie… that the love you were ready to die for was a huge lie.

I know how hard it is to cope with these intense and overwhelming feelings. As much as you try, you simply can’t resist them, and you let those feelings consume you completely.

Ficamos stressados e deprimidos. On the one hand, you’re still not ready to let go of the man you love, and on the other hand, you know deep down in your heart it’s the right decision.

You’re aware that something bad is happening and that your separação é inevitável.

However, you still choose to stay in that lie for a little while longer because you don’t have the strength to give up on your love…

Listen to that inner voice, but don’t blindly follow its advice.

And, you don’t have to. You don’t have to quit on your love just because your partner had one weak moment and wasn’t able to control himself.

Há muitos casais que sobreviveram à infidelidade, recuperou após o casoe construíram uma relação ainda mais forte depois disso. Se o seu coração se sente pronto para dar-lhe uma segunda oportunidade, don’t hesitate to do so.

Afinal de contas, não há absolutamente nada que amor verdadeiro can’t overcome or deal with.

As the family therapist, Elvina Lui, says: “Embora seja difícil, muitos casais ultrapassam os danos da infidelidade e tornam a sua relação mais forte. O segredo é reconstruir a confiança a partir dos escombros for both people to keep showing each other that “you are worth this, and I believe in us”.

O que fazer quando suspeitamos que o nosso namorado nos está a trair?

Agora, provavelmente quer saber what you should do if you find out he’s being unfaithful. Se suspeitar e encontrar alguns bons sinais o teu homem está a trair-teO próximo passo lógico a dar é confrontá-lo.

You don’t ask him directly, but you confront him with all the proof you have about his infidelity. Basta pedir-lhe, de forma educada, que lhe explique o que é que essas coisas significam realmente.

A batoteiro will never confess immediately, or at least not until they’re ready for it. So, don’t expect your man to come clean to you as soon as you confront him.

Also, while confronting him, you should take notes about his body language while he’s answering your questions. If he keeps lying to you, if he keeps denying his betrayal, his behavior will surely give him up.

Dois dos mais comuns razões pelas quais os homens fazem batota são baixo autoestima e inseguranças.

Once they start feeling they’ve lost the validation they desperately need from their current partner, they start looking for it in some other place.

However, if a person has issues with self-esteem, that also means they aren’t able to control their body language, especially in situations that are too stressful for them.

Even if he decided to admit it all immediately, it still doesn’t mean the suffering stops there for you. The fact is that you’ll need a lot of time to accept it all and sort it out in your heart and in your mind.

O mais importante conselhos sobre relações O que precisa de ouvir neste momento é que, aconteça o que acontecer, seja qual for o resultado do seu confronto, nunca se deve culpar por nada.

You can’t blame yourself for loving a man who decided to betray you and that love you feel for him. Love is a pure gamble… sometimes you win, but there are times you’ll have to lose… big time lose.

Conclusão

I really hope you didn’t recognize any of these signs he’s cheating on you and that it’s indeed happening only in your head.

A maioria dos casais passa por algumas fases nas suas relações em que começam a afastar-se e, infelizmente, isso pode levá-los a tomar algumas decisões muito erradas.

On the other hand, if you did, and now you’re surer than ever that your man is being unfaithful to you, I truly hope you’ll gather the strength para confrontar os vossos batoteiro.

If your doubts come true, if he admits his infidelity, don’t blame yourself and don’t have regrets.

Remember, you’re the one who leaves that relationship with your head held high.

Perdoa o teu batoteiro and take everything that happened to you as a huge lesson… a lesson that will guide you through the future. Don’t even think about getting revenge.

Deixar todo o trabalho sujo para o karma.

Now it’s time to focus plainly on yourself and grab your life by the horns. Shift all the love you felt for him to yourself, and promise to yourself that you’ll never, no matter what, betray yourself.