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How Being Cheated On Changes You: 16 Ways

How Being Cheated On Changes You: 16 Ways

What’s the worst thing about being cheated on? The pain doesn’t end the moment your toxic relationship does. In fact, the consequences last even after you mend your broken heart and think you’ve healed completely.

This is exactly how being cheated on changes you for good!

How Being Cheated On Changes You In Some Bad Ways…

How does being cheated on affect a man? How does being cheated on affect a woman? Well, when it comes to this, it’s absolutely irrelevant whether you are male or female.

Here are the worst ways being the victim of infidelity impacts your life and well-being.

1. Trusting someone becomes impossible

When your partner cheats, you can’t avoid developing strong trust issues. As much as you try trusting other people, it becomes impossible for you to do so.

After all, the person you loved the most backstabbed you in the most painful way. Your ex didn’t only break your heart – they betrayed you as well. And that’s what shattered you the most.

I’m not only talking about your future relationships here. I’m not talking just about romance.

The truth is that you lose your faith in humanity. After all, your ex wasn’t only your romantic partner. They were a friend and family member too.

So if they put you through this heartbreak without hesitation, what’s stopping someone else from doing the same? Why are they different from all of your other loved ones?

Let’s not forget that this person promised you the world. They swore they would never do anything to hurt you, but that’s exactly what they ended up doing.

Basically, it would be strange if you didn’t develop trust issues as a result.

2. Losing the ability to forgive

How being cheated on changes you: Well, to start with, you forget what forgiveness is all about.

You’re so bitter after everything that went on that, for the first time ever, you’ve learned how to hate. At first, you think it’s great that you didn’t forgive your cheater for everything they did to you.

And you’re absolutely right. Forgiveness is the last thing they deserve.

However, you forgot one thing: you deserve to forgive them. That’s right – you should do it for the sake of your own well-being, not because of them.

But the opposite happened. After you’ve been betrayed by someone you cared for deeply, you swore that you’d never let anyone break your heart again.

You’ve raised the bar, and you’re not ready to allow anyone to do you wrong. And that’s amazing.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you should lose your ability to forgive altogether. Trust me – when you remember how to do it, you’ll bring yourself the peace you so desperately need.

3. Engaging in the self-blame game

Was it me? Was it something I did? How come I wasn’t enough for my significant other? How come I didn’t see what was going on right in front of my nose?

Could I have done something to prevent this? What did they miss in our relationship? What did the other person have to offer my partner that I couldn’t?

Whenever I talk to my friends who’ve been cheated on, they all asked the same questions. Some of them refused to admit it at first, but eventually, everyone gets trapped in the same thought pattern.

Let’s get one thing straight: self-awareness is amazing. You develop an ability to recapitulate your own mistakes and reach the point where you become able to notice your wrongdoings.

However, engaging in the self-blame game is something different.

The problem is that these thoughts transfer into every single area of your life. You don’t stop with wondering if you were to blame for your partner having an affair.

Every time someone does something to hurt you, you ask yourself why you weren’t enough. And that’s exactly how being cheated on changes you.

Related: How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On (20 Tips)

4. No more faith in love

Here’s the devastating truth: you no longer believe in love. Yes, it’s possible for you to care, and it’s possible for another person to care for you.

But until this happened to you, you believed in everlasting, all-potent love. You know what I’m talking about.

You believed in the concept of soulmates. You believed that it was possible to find the one you’d grow old with.

You believed in happily ever after. You believed in finding the one without ever needing anyone else.

And now, after your partner’s infidelity, all of that is erased. What’s the point of entering a new relationship when it will end up just like your previous one did?

Even when you’re around happy couples, you see them in a different light. Of course, you don’t say anything, but the truth is that you just expect one of them to cheat or do something similar.

5. Major self-esteem issues

How being cheated on changes you: Well, it destroys your sense of self-worth.

You won’t admit it at first, but you’re having a hard time loving yourself the way you did. You weren’t enough for your favorite human being in the world, so that must mean that you’re not worthy of love.

If the person who knew you best didn’t think of you as worthy of love and respect, who are you to argue with them?

Comparing yourself

And let’s face it, these self-confidence issues are mostly caused by the fact that you keep on comparing yourself with this other woman or man.

What do they have that you don’t? Why were they better? What did they give your ex you didn’t? Why did they replace you with this person?

I’m not only talking about their physical appearance here. Even if your SO had an emotional affair, you’ll wonder about this new person’s intellect, sense of humor, and personality.

Once again, this doesn’t end even after your toxic relationship does. Without even realizing it, you continue comparing yourself to the whole world.

You keep coming up with ways everyone is better than you, which is obviously nowhere near the truth.

6. Becoming an overthinker

You’re analyzing your entire relationship, aren’t you? What went wrong? When was the moment things started going downhill?

You replay your entire relationship back and forth, checking for clues you failed to notice when you should have.

Before you know it, overthinking gets into your blood. You start to analyze everyone’s every word and move.

…and an overworrier

And you don’t just become an overthinker. What’s even worse is that you become an overworrier as well.

You always expect the worst possible outcome. Of course, this is a self-defense mechanism you developed.

It is the only way to protect yourself from another heartbreak.

If you expect the worst, it can’t surprise you when it happens, can it? But if you hope for the best, your whole world will shatter into pieces when you’re betrayed yet again.

Even though this doesn’t make sense, it’s exactly how being cheated on changes you. You’re constantly on the lookout, and you deprive yourself of the possibility of being happy.

7. Turning into a vengeful person

Admit it, you obsess over the best way to get even with your ex. Even though you might not actually act on it, you spend a lot of time plotting your revenge.

After all, they did you so much harm. Why should they get away with it as if nothing happened? You won’t let it slide just like that, will you?

What should you do? Allow them to live their life as if they hadn’t destroyed yours? Let them build their happiness on your tears?

Absolutely not! You must make them pay, even if it’s the last thing you do.

At least, that’s what you’ve been thinking lately, haven’t you? And I understand completely. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not here to judge you.

However, I am here to burst your bubble and tell you that even revenge won’t make you feel better.

How being cheated on changes you: Well, it makes you lose yourself, doesn’t it?

You weren’t like this before. You didn’t know what hatred was, but now it consumes you completely.

That’s exactly how it changed you – it changed the essence of who you were.

8. Relationship anxiety

A lot of people develop relationship anxiety after surviving infidelity. And I’m not talking about only questioning your new partner’s feelings.

I’m talking about entering the next relationship in the first place. Ever since you were cheated on, you’re literally terrified of relationships.

You can’t even think about getting back into the dating pool. Even if you start liking someone new, your anxiety kicks in, and you immediately start running for your life.

But what happens if you manage to overcome this obstacle and enter a new relationship? Well, that’s when your real problems begin.

When someone cheats on you, you’re positive that everyone else will do the same. You keep on expecting all hell to break loose.

You sabotage your new relationship, question your self-worth, and overthink every detail of your romance.

Well, my dear, that’s exactly what relationship anxiety looks like.

9. Developing jealousy issues

You chose not to give your cheater a second chance. And I’m super proud of you for that. But every relationship coach will tell you the same thing: that doesn’t mean that nobody else deserves to get a first chance.

Or at least the benefit of the doubt!

I know that this is hard to believe, but you don’t have to go through your new partner’s text messages, messenger conversations, Snapchat score, and other social media accounts. You don’t have to be jealous of every single person of the opposite sex they talk to.

You don’t have to search for signs that are clearly not there.

I know what you must be thinking: you want to find out in time so you don’t give them the opportunity to make a fool out of you. Well, guess what? Even that won’t save you from a broken heart!

There is no point in being possessively jealous.

Most importantly, there is no point in comparing yourself to other people in your partner’s life. They chose you for a reason. And that means that you’re more than enough for them!

10. Doubting your choices

You had one bad relationship. Does this mean that every new one will be the same? Well, according to you – that’s exactly what it means.

You still blame yourself for choosing wrong and letting the wrong person in. Now, the worst thing would be to repeat your mistake.

So you become overly careful. You start doubting your judgment-making skills and overthink every choice you make.

Don’t get me wrong – this is not me saying that you should be reckless. It’s great that you learn from your mistakes.

However, don’t allow that one awful experience to prevent you from doing what you want.

And I’m not only talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about the fact that you’ve become scared of chasing your dreams.

You’ve stopped letting new people in because you assume that you’ll make the wrong choice all over again. Trust me, you won’t – you’ve learned your lesson!

11. Mental health issues

How being cheated on changes you: Well, sadly, for a lot of people, it brings numerous mental health issues.

Going through such a massive heartbreak impacts your brain chemistry, and it’s not unusual for a victim of cheating to become depressed or anxious.

If this is something you can relate to, maybe it’s time to visit a mental health professional who’ll help you through the healing process.

Whatever you do, please don’t be ashamed of how you feel. Remember: none of this is your fault!

… And In Some Good Ways

You’ll think I’m messing with you, but guess what? Looking at it from a different perspective, being cheated on wasn’t so bad after all. I know it breaks your heart and even threatens to make you incapable of loving again.

Nevertheless, there are some good ways in which it changes you too. Here they are:

1. You become stronger than ever

The good thing that being cheated on brings is incredible mental strength. I know I just talked about mental health issues, but trust me, once you successfully overcome them, you become more powerful than ever.

Why is that? Well, if you were able to survive being betrayed by the person you loved the most, there is literally nothing that can kill you.

You thought this would destroy you. But here you are, standing with your head held high despite all odds.

Once you raise from the ashes, you realize that the only person you can’t live without is yourself. You’re no longer scared of anyone abandoning you.

You’re no longer terrified of getting your heart broken because you know you’ll succeed in gluing it back together.

For the first time ever, you’re completely free. And most importantly, you’re finally aware of your strength and potential. How amazing is that?

2. You realize that some things aren’t meant to be…

When you first get cheated on, you try to get to the bottom of everything that happened. You look for the reasons behind this disaster and do your best to find the bigger meaning.

But then, after a while, it hits you: some things don’t need an obvious reason. And your partner having an affair was one of them.

If this hadn’t happened, you would never have realized that some things and some people are just not meant to be.

Your relationship had to end the way it did. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have become the person you are today.

It was just a matter of faith. And life will show you why it was actually the best thing that could ever have happened to you.

That’s right – you saw it as a curse, but it was actually a blessing in disguise all along.

3. …and that sometimes God saves you

Remember how we talked about the fact that you’ve lost faith in love and humanity? Well, that’s why you’ve regained your faith in God and the Universe.

This painful experience taught you that there is a huge difference between wanting something and actually needing it.

What am I trying to tell you? Well, look at things this way: you thought you needed your ex.

You thought they were your soulmate. You thought you were meant to grow old with them.

And you were ready to do whatever it took just to erase their infidelity from your lives.

But God opened your eyes to save you. He did it to give you clarity.

After a while, you’ll see this for yourself. You’ll realize that you were actually blinded by the love you felt for them, and you’ll come to the conclusion that your ex wasn’t the one for you, regardless of the affair.

But guess what? If the affair hadn’t happened, you would never have reached these realizations. Do you see what I’m talking about now?

4. You learn to rock your single life

Losing faith in love and going through relationship anxiety is anything but easy. However, surprisingly, it can bring you some good as well.

Everything you went through made you stay away from relationships. But that doesn’t have to be the worst thing that happened, does it?

It made you appreciate your single life. It feels great not having anyone to cheat on you, doesn’t it?

On a more serious note, you really do learn that it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t treat you right.

After escaping a terrible relationship, you learn to cherish the most important one – the relationship you have with yourself.

So if you don’t feel ready to start something new right away, take your time. Work on your self-esteem, remember how it feels to love yourself, and let go of the past.

5. And to pick better in the future

How being cheated on changes you: Well, it certainly teaches you some lessons.

First of all, you’ve become an expert in figuring out the signs your partner is cheating on you. I bet you’re able to smell infidelity from a mile away and catch a cheater in the blink of an eye.

But not only that – you know how to survive it as well.

However, there is an even more important lesson you’ve learned from this awful experience: to never settle for less than you deserve. The last thing you’ll do is put up with infidelity ever in the future!

Does Being Cheated On Change You Forever?

Being cheated on definitely does turn you into someone you never knew you could be. Sometimes, it will help you change for the better, and sometimes, you’ll change for the worse, but one thing is clear: you won’t stay the same!

Either way, the impact it leaves on you is permanent and unerasable. Of course, it’s up to you if you’ll lose yourself and reinvent yourself completely after surviving an affair or if you’ll just change some parts of your personality.

How Does Being Cheated Affect You?

Being cheated on affects your self-confidence, mental health, relationships (including romantic ones and the one you have with yourself), and personality as a whole. Basically, it affects every single aspect of your life.

One of the worst things this experience takes away from you is faith. You no longer believe in love. You’ve lost faith in happy endings, and you don’t trust anyone around you.

Even if that’s the only way being cheated on affects you, it’s more than enough!

How Does Cheating Affect The Cheater?

Even though there is no excuse for committing adultery, cheaters can struggle with guilt, self-hatred, anxiety, depression, and insecurities as well. Their mental health can be destroyed after they realize what they’ve done.

However, this doesn’t apply to all cheaters out there because not all cheaters think the same. Some don’t have trouble forgiving themselves and moving on with their lives as if nothing happened.

To Wrap Up:

You’ve figured out how being cheated on changes you. But I must remind you that everything is still in your hands.

It’s up to you: will you benefit from this situation, or will you allow it to kill you emotionally? Will you look for the silver lining in this cloud, or will you let the storm wash you away?

The choice is all yours! And I know that you’ll make the right one.