When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll do everything in his power to prevent you from walking away from him. It means that he knows he has a high-quality woman by his side and he’s not ready to let you go that easily.
But the thing is that when a man is really afraid of losing you, he’s usually done you harm in the past. He hasn’t been treating you properly and now he sees that you’re about to leave him.
Sounds familiar, right? Well, it’s the oldest story in the book.
OK, so here’s the scenario: you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time now and you’ve distanced yourself after seeing that he stopped putting effort into your relationship.
You’ve seen that he always makes excuses for not seeing you or keeping up with your plans and you’ve had enough of it! But wait, apparently he does care.
He starts acting strangely, kind of caring and loving. Like he’s afraid of losing you.
Well, my dear, that’s most probably the case. Obviously, he realized he can’t afford to let you go without a fight, otherwise, he’ll regret it for the rest of his life.
What Does It Mean To Be Afraid To Lose Someone?
Being scared of losing someone means that you can’t picture your life without them. This is the person who gives your life meaning and them leaving, would make everything pointless.
This fear is perfectly rational and it’s what makes us human beings.
Truth be told, you can’t say you love someone if you’re not at least a little bit scared of having to keep going without them by your side.
The thing with men is that they’re usually not so scared of losing you while everything is going smoothly. They assume that you can’t stop loving them no matter what they do.
And then, when they see that the possibility of you walking out on them is real, they realize what they’ve done.
So, if a guy worries that you’ll leave him, it’s likely that he knows he messed up and now he’s waiting for the consequences of his actions from the past.
Sometimes, he still has time to make things right and sometimes, it’s simply too late.
How Do You Know If A Guy Is Scared Of Losing You?
When a man is scared of losing you, he’ll do literally everything to keep you by his side. All of a sudden, he’ll change all the things you’ve been complaining about in your relationship, he’ll start putting more effort into your relationship and he’ll finally give you the place you deserve.
This guy will want to show you that he’s the best man you can be with and that he’s ready to do whatever it takes to build a healthy relationship.
He cancels plans to be with you
Canceling a date night at the last minute? Putting his friends and hobbies in front of you?
Always treating you as his second choice? Too busy to see you? Too tired to talk to you?
I know you’ve been there and you know exactly how it feels.
Luckily, these are all the things from the past. This guy is a changed man who now actually cancels plans to be with you.
Doesn’t matter what kind of plans we’re talking about. He’ll cancel them all just to be around you and show you that he cares.
You don’t have to call him out on his actions and ask him to give you more attention- he does it all by himself. The best part is that he is no longer ashamed of his friends when he bails out on them.
He doesn’t make any excuses- he just tells them that he wants to be with you. How awesome is that?
Besides, he frequently includes you in his other plans. He asks you to go to the gym with him, he initiates double date nights and he invites you to go clubbing together.
Of course, none of this would have been possible if he weren’t so scared that you might dump him. It’s like he finally realized all of his mistakes and decided to show you his other side.
Moreover, he will initiate dates very often and there is no stopping him from showing himself at your door in the middle of the night. It’s clear that spending time with you is his number one priority.
It’s something that makes him the happiest man in the world and he wouldn’t trade those moments for anything in the world.
He simply wants to be around you so that you know that there is no way in hell he’s going to make you feel unappreciated. It’s like he wants to make it up to you for all those times he was a jerk in the past.
He gives you gifts for random occasions
Most guys will buy you something when it’s a special occasion like your birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s day. Even then, it’s likely that they’ll buy you the wrong thing.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying that you should be ungrateful. Whatever he bought you- it’s a sign he thought of you.
But hey, let’s be honest. When something like this happens, you can’t believe that he isn’t paying attention to you and your taste. It especially hurts knowing that you put so much effort into every present you got for him.
Well, lucky lady, your torments have come to an end. A guy who worries that you might leave him will never make a mistake like this.
First and foremost, he’ll always get you the right present. No, I’m not talking about expensive stuff here only.
I’m talking about the fact that he’ll listen to you. If you just casually mention something you like- he’ll remember it and get it from you.
And you know what’s the best part? The fact that you won’t have to wait for a special occasion to get something from him.
He’ll just bring you a random gift out of the blue and tell you it reminded him of you. Is there anything cuter than that?
OK, to receive a gift now and then makes every single one of us feel very special.
But if you have a kindergarten of plush toys in your room, you better know that he’s scared of losing you.
He will start to behave like there is nothing in this world he can’t buy you to make you happy.
It’s kind of a way of showing you that you are worthy of everything you desire.
He avoids fights
All couples fight. And as long as your arguments are productive and for a reason- there is nothing to worry about. A piece of relationship advice: fights are even healthy for a good relationship- especially if they’re followed by steamy makeup.
But when a guy is scared that you’re losing interest- he’ll do his best to avoid any kind of a dispute with you. He’ll want to maintain the peace between you two, at all costs.
That’s exactly why he’ll work hard on you two having good communication. Even when you have different opinions on a matter, he’ll try to calmly talk about it instead of arguing.
Why? Well, it’s actually pretty simple. It’s not that he doesn’t have an attitude on his own.
He just loves you more than he loves being right.
Even if he doesn’t agree with something you’re saying, he will back down and tell you that you should agree to disagree. He won’t make a fight out of it because he doesn’t want to upset you.
He’s making sure that he doesn’t raise his voice and that he doesn’t use harsh words that might make you feel uncomfortable.
I know that this might seem like he’s being a little pussy, but it’s actually cute to know that he cares enough to give up on an argument in order for you to feel safe.
He cares about your family and friends
Let’s get one thing straight: a man who loves you doesn’t have to love your family and friends. After all, he chose you and he likes your personality traits. So, who says that he can get along with someone from your life?
But he has to respect them. He has to understand that these are your loved ones.
Nevertheless, when you’re dating a guy who wouldn’t trade you for the world, he will put in a special amount of effort to be on friendly terms with everyone you care for. This man loves all parts of you, including the people who are dear to you.
He wants to make sure that you know that he gets along with all the people that are important and close to you.
He wants all of them to like him so that you know how lovable he actually is.
Of course, he will do this in a subtle way—he doesn’t want you to know that he’s desperate.
But just know that this will happen if he starts to fear that he might lose you.
Besides, even if you ever leave him, these people are his entrance card back to your life. If he’s friends with your friends and family members, he’ll always have an insight into your feelings and whereabouts.
He meets your every need
Most men don’t think that the needs of women are rational, so they choose which ones they will respect and which not.
But, when a man is afraid of losing you, he will do all the crazy things that you want and need in a relationship and he won’t think twice about painting the sky green if that’s what you want.
This guy puts your well-being first. He spoils and pampers you because he enjoys seeing a smile on your face. More importantly, he enjoys it, even more, when he knows he’s the reason behind it.
He can’t picture himself happy if you don’t feel the same way. He takes care of you and makes sure you’re always content.
This is the guy who will make sure you don’t miss anything while you’re his girlfriend.
Want to travel? He’ll book the tickets! Want to watch a movie? He’s already popping the popcorn!
The bottom line is that he wants you to feel special and loved, no matter what. He wants you to know that you can count on him on every occasion and it’s like he’s telling you: “Don’t be afraid, I got you”.
He talks about your future
Unlike other immature guys, this one is not interested in anything temporary. He gave you all of his heart, body, and mind and knows you’re a keeper.
You see, he is aware of all of your qualities. He is also aware that he’ll never find a woman like you, even if he lived a million lives.
He doesn’t think of you just as the best possible girlfriend- he also sees you as wife material. Actually, you’re the only woman he can picture himself growing old with.
Yes, he loves you unconditionally- there is no doubt about that. But he also has enormous respect for your moral values, opinions, and life attitudes.
Naturally, he wants to marry you and to make you the mother of his children. He wants you as his life partner and he’s about to do everything to make that happen.
Labeling things
The guy you’re dating won’t settle for anything less than a long-term relationship. And he makes that obvious from the very beginning.
He labels things between you right from the start. You don’t have to worry about whether he’ll give you the title of his girlfriend or not because he makes it very clear to everyone that you’re a couple.
He starts mentioning things like marriage and kids the moment he feels like he’s going to lose you. At first, when you just start dating, he casually and jokingly mentions how it would be great for you two to start a family. Or he randomly asks about your favorite kid’s name.
But as time goes by, you see that he’s dead serious. He’s not ready to let any other guy steal you from him.
Including you in his future
He doesn’t want your relationship to ever end, so he constantly brings up the topic of your future together. If you look at things closely, you’ll see that he doesn’t make any future plans that don’t include you.
It’s not that he’ll just make a huge life decision and notify you about it. Instead, he’ll always consult you first.
No, he’s not looking for your authorization. He just sees you two as an item and knows that every important choice he makes will impact you as well.
He is jealous
Let’s be real: when a man is afraid of losing you, there is no chance in hell for him not to be jealous of every other guy in your surroundings. I’m not saying that he has to be possessive but he’ll definitely get all territorial when another male is around.
He gets all cute whenever he sees you making eye contact or greeting another guy. He probably won’t say anything because he doesn’t want you to think he’s some kind of a lunatic.
He’ll just ask you if this is your friend or a coworker. It’s clear that he wants to know more about this guy, so he can figure out if he’s a threat or not.
On the other hand, when a man is not afraid of losing you, he couldn’t care less if you fall in love with someone else. So, I guess that the total absence of jealousy can be tricky, as well.
Comparing himself with your exes
But the men he’s most jealous of are, without a doubt, your ex-boyfriends. He won’t tell you: “I am afraid that you’ll go back to one of them” straightforwardly but if you pay closer attention, you’ll see that all the signs are there. They definitely make him insecure.
It’s like he’s comparing himself to everyone you ever dated. And he needs constant validation that you love him more than all of those guys.
What Makes A Man Scared Of Losing You?
Every guy will worry he might lose you the moment he realizes that you can live without him. He’ll get scared when he realizes that you can do better than him and that you’d never settle for less than you deserve.
What if you have a social life outside of your relationship, if he can’t destroy your self-esteem and sense of self-worth and if you’re not one of those clingy girlfriends whose world revolves around their partners?
Well, in that case, your man will never stop putting effort into your relationship. He’ll never take you for granted because he’ll always be aware that you can make it without him.
Sadly, some guys are like that. The moment they see that you’re not going anywhere is the moment when they stop trying.
That’s why you have to make your man worry about losing you if you want to teach him to appreciate you. Here is exactly how to do it.
Show him you want him but don’t need him
The first lesson your man has to learn is that you’re not dependent on him in any way, just because he’s your boyfriend. You consciously choose him as your partner- you don’t actually need him.
Yes, he contributes to your overall happiness- otherwise, you wouldn’t be with him. But you won’t be miserable even if he leaves.
Yes, you like spending time with him. But you won’t be bored and without anything to do with your life if you two split either.
Yes, you love him. As far as you’re concerned, he could be the love of your life but that doesn’t mean you’ll stay next to him, no matter how he acts.
You’re an independent, self-sufficient woman. And when I say this, I really mean it.
You don’t need him to pay your bills, to teach you how to live your life or to give you some special guidance.
You’re a big girl who can take care of herself. It’s nice if he does it but his gifts, acts of service or favors won’t make you dependent in any way.
You’re perfectly fine on your own
Most importantly: you know how to be single. You’re not with him because you’re afraid of dying alone.
He can’t emotionally blackmail you in any way because being without him wouldn’t be the end of the world for you.
Yes, you would probably be heartbroken. But at the end of the day, you always prefer being single over a relationship that doesn’t fulfill your standards.
Have a life of your own
When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll want to spend every second of his time with you. Since this is the man you love, you’ll want the same thing.
Well, this is one of the mistakes women make. When we fall in love, our guy becomes the only one that matters.
You know what I’m talking about. You can’t wait to see him and you miss him even if you’ve seen him a few hours ago.
In the process, you disregard your social life completely. Somehow, you forget about your interests, friends, and even family members.
What does this tell him? That you’d have to build your social life all over again if he ever left you.
Well, please don’t let that happen. Remember that you didn’t cease to exist the moment you entered this relationship.
You’re much more than someone’s girlfriend. You’re still a friend, a daughter, a professional woman… Most importantly- you’re still yourself.
Why is this important? Well, he has to realize that your life wouldn’t lose meaning without him in it.
You have to make him understand that you wouldn’t be all alone in the world if he left. You’d still have people to spend time with and you’d still keep yourself busy.
Don’t be clingy
It’s common sense- no guy can ever get scared of losing you if you’re all over him. You being a clingy girlfriend will only bring your man to take you for granted.
If you think of yourself as being too needy (or he told you to back off), it’s time to change your behavioral patterns.
Start with small changes. Stop sending him that many text messages during the day- especially when he’s out with friends.
Wouldn’t it be better for him to wonder what you’re been up to? Trust me- he’ll think of you more if you ignore him.
Stop telling him “I love you” so much- especially if he doesn’t say it first. He’s used to hearing these three magic words from you all the time.
Trust me, he’ll notice if your love declarations disappear. Most importantly: when a guy’s afraid of losing you, he’ll wonder what’s wrong.
Stop being so jealous. If he wants to be unfaithful or leave you for another woman- you can’t stop it.
Basically, there is no point in excessive jealousy. The only thing you will accomplish is boosting his ego and that’s not what you need right now.
Look your best
If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you probably don’t look exactly like the woman your man met ages ago.
This is especially true if you two have kids and if you’re a working mom. You feel like the entire house is on your back and you don’t have the time or the energy to take care of yourself.
Well, the thing is that you’ll have to. You have to look your best if you want to make your man wonder.
For starters, go buy yourself some new clothes. Change your perfume or even your hair color.
Start paying more attention to your appearance. Wear more make-up, hit the gym and start dressing up.
Men are visual creatures. Trust me- the moment you begin with this practice, he’ll assume that you want to look your best for some other man’s eyes.
What is even more important, he knows that every man who runs into you will give you a compliment, ask you out or at least try to have deep eye contact.
He would hit on you if you weren’t his GF already so he expects the same from the rest of the male population. What if you like some of those guys more?
Don’t show signs of jealousy
When a man is afraid of losing you, he can’t hide his jealousy. Well, we women are the same.
As long as you worry he’ll replace you with some other girl, you’re showing your biggest fear: that he’ll find someone better than you and that you’re not good enough for him.
Well, that’s exactly why you have to stop being jealous ASAP. Easier said than done, I know. But if you can’t do it, at least stop showing him that.
At first, he’ll be delighted to have such an open-minded girl next to him. Nevertheless, after a while, it will start to bother him.
It will make him think that you couldn’t care less whether he’ll leave or not.
Call him out on his actions
You’re a woman who knows her self-worth. You know exactly how much you deserve and you have your standards and deal breakers.
The last thing you’re ready to put up with is someone treating you the way he wants. That is exactly why you should never remain silent when this guy does you something you’re not okay with.
If you don’t say anything, you’re just giving him a green light to keep up with his “good” behavior. You’re giving him a heads up and telling him that you’re okay with this kind of treatment.
On the other hand, if you tell him what bothers you, he’ll start worrying about whether you’ll leave him or not.
I’m not saying you should nag or complain all the time. In fact, that could provoke a counterproductive effect.
Just warn him that his behavior is not acceptable. You won’t put up with it, despite all the love you feel.
Trust me- next time, he’ll think things through before acting on them. He’ll worry if he pulls out the last straw that will make you leave him.
Don’t be at a hand’s reach
Being too available is a big no, no. You might think that this is one of the things men want: a girl who is at their disposal but trust me- they don’t fall for this kinds of girls.
If you’re at this guy’s hand’s reach, no matter what he does, he’ll start seeing you as his safety net.
You reply to his text messages in a matter of seconds, you’re never busy when he calls, and even when you two fight, you’re the first one to make amends the next day.
So, how exactly do you expect for this man to even think about the possibility of you ever leaving him? You’re always there, as his little puppy, and for him, you walking away is not even an option.
Well, let’s play a game. For starters, stop responding to his texts so quickly. The next time he calls you on a date, tell him that you’re sorry but your schedule is full.
Make him wonder and let him see that he’s not your only priority in life. Make him compete for your attention and never let him win it completely.
I know that all of this might sound too harsh but trust me- it’s the thing that works on every man.
Make him jealous
You don’t have to actually be unfaithful to make your man jealous. Besides changing your appearance, it would be great if you could be a bit mysterious as well.
When he asks you where you’re going, don’t be specific. Tell him that you’re going to meet a friend but put a nervous smile on your face.
Ask your male friend to put a heart emoji comment on the photos you put on social media. These are all the things men get madly jealous about. Trust me: this will knock him out of his feet.
Don’t get me wrong: My relationship advice is not to become a cheater. I just want him to see that you could replace him in no time- it’s enough for you to want that.
Don’t spoil him
This is a grown man- not a little child. He doesn’t need you taking care of all of his needs. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to throw him a surprise every now and then.
Nevertheless, there is a thick line between worrying about his well-being and spoiling him to the max.
The trick is to make him earn your attention. You can’t love him the same when he treats you like the Princess you are and when he doesn’t give you what you deserve.
Instead, pamper yourself
One of the mistakes women make is putting all the effort into making their boyfriends feel good. Remember: your happiness always comes first.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give a damn about him but hey, don’t forget to invest some energy into pampering yourself as well.
Do whatever makes you feel good. Work on your own progress and always choose yourself over him.
Don’t lose yourself
Most importantly- always stay true to your true self. Don’t change the essence of your being just to make him like you more.
The moment that happens, a guy knows that you’re not going anywhere. You’re not his puppet and you mustn’t allow him to mold you by his own standards.
Yes, compromise is always welcome. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that you should become a completely new person just because he wants you to.
If you let him change you, you’re stuck with him forever, no matter what he does. But if you remain yourself, you always have someone to go back to if he decides to leave- yourself.
Final Thoughts
When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll turn into your dream guy overnight. If you make him worry that you might leave him, you can say goodbye to feeling underappreciated.
I promise you that this is the moment he’ll start giving you the respect you deserve. Suddenly, he’ll see everything you’ve been doing for your relationship and he’ll begin to appreciate all the sacrifices you’ve made for him.
Yes, he should be like this even without you showing him what he’s got to lose. Nevertheless, sadly, things don’t always work like that and sometimes, you have to give him a little scare so he snaps out of it and realizes how much he loves you.
I’m not saying that this is the healthiest thing to do but hey, desperate times seek desperate measures, don’t you think?
