You’re getting ready for the first meet up with this new guy or girl, and dozens of questions are running through your mind. What will you talk about? Will you like them?
Sounds familiar, I know. Well, the truth is that we’ve all been there.
And on top of this all, there is the ultimate question: Should you kiss on the first date? The fact is that some people do, some don’t.
But is it obligatory to smooch when you first meet someone? What if you don’t like them enough? Or is it better to wait and see if there will be a second date?
Well, luckily for your love life, your troubles have come to an end. I’m here to give you some dating tips to help you resolve this dilemma.
Not only that – some daters will also share their experience with you – to help you get a broader perspective on things.
5 Reasons To Kiss On The First Date
For starters, here are some reasons why people kiss on first dates. You don’t know – maybe one of these pros is exactly what you need to head in the right direction.
1. Overthinking is overrated
Is it okay to kiss on the first date? What if this is the last time you see each other? What if they get the impression that you’re crazy for them?
What if they lose interest after you kiss them? What if they only see you as a hookup, but you want something more?
Yes, you could be racking your brain with all of these questions. But what’s the point?
Will overthinking help you with the outcome? It most certainly won’t. In fact, it’s more likely to destroy your relationship before it even starts.
That’s exactly why it’s much better to do your best and turn off your brain and follow your gut. I’m not saying that you should make reckless decisions, but hey, did one kiss ever really harm anyone?
I don’t think so. Just go with the flow and see where the night takes you!
2. There is a lot of chemistry
Sometimes, you just click with the other person from the very start. It would be too much to call this love at first sight, but it’s definitely chemistry at first sight.
There is a lot of prolonged eye contact, “accidental” physical contact, and all the other non-verbal signs that you’re both into each other. Don’t pretend like the tension between you two isn’t real.
There is not much reasoning behind this. You feel the chemistry, and you just want to kiss.
So, why wouldn’t you do exactly that? Wait until your date is over or just start kissing right there. What’s the worst that could happen?
3. You’re testing the waters
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re not sure if you like your date or not? Maybe you’ve met them on an online dating app, and things are somehow different now that you see them in person.
Or maybe you just have mixed feelings about them. Don’t worry, that’s perfectly normal, and it happens to everyone.
In that case, the first smooch is exactly what you need. It will help you test the waters and realize whether there’s enough chemistry for you to even consider a second one.
4. There is no better non-verbal signal
If you’re not much into talking and hate telling someone how much you like them, kissing them is the best way to show your feelings.
You don’t need to come up with a bunch of compliments, and you don’t have to worry about finding the right words – your lips will do all the talking for you.
Trust me – sometimes, it’s easier (and more effective) to express yourself with body language signs than verbally.
5. You feel like it
At the end of the day, do you really need a reason for kissing? You just feel like it, and that’s reason enough.
Of course, what matters here is mutual consent. It’s crucial to pay attention to the other person’s non-verbal signals before making a move.
Will it be a simple lip-locking, or will you share a passionate French kiss? What about your hand placement? Will it be just a kiss, or will it end up in making out? It’s only up to you two!
5 Reasons Not To Kiss On The First Date
Now that we’ve covered the fors, it’s time to pay attention to the reasons kissing on the first date is not the best idea in the world.
1. You don’t feel ready
It’s okay not to feel ready to kiss someone on the first date or just not to be in the mood for it. Your personal boundaries are important, and please, don’t allow anyone to cross them.
Don’t do anything just because you feel forced to do it. You’re still allowed to like the other person without having the need to kiss them – that’s your right.
Finally, keep in mind that you don’t need to justify your actions to anyone. If they make the first move, step back or politely tell them that you want to wait – without any guilt trips included.
2. You don’t want to send the wrong message
You have a feeling that this guy or girl you’ve started seeing will be special. And you don’t want to ruin things by rushing anything.
You want them to take you seriously, and you prefer to wait for your first kiss to be special and romantic.
That’s also a valid reason not to kiss on the first date.
3. A hug is more than enough
Sometimes, a simple hug can be more intimate than an actual kiss. Or you just feel like that’s too intimate for your first encounter.
In that case, be the one to lean in for a hug when you’re saying goodbye before you give them a chance to try and kiss you. Of course, there are different types of hugs – you should hold them a bit tighter and a bit longer, so they get the message.
You’ll show them that you like them and that you’re comfortable with being physically close to them. At the same time, you’ll send a message that you want to wait a bit longer for the first kiss to happen.
4. You’re afraid of rejection
Making the first move takes a lot of courage, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. If you want to kiss the other person, but you’re not sure if they want the same, I would always advise you to go for it.
At least, you’ll know you tried and went after what you wanted.
Nevertheless, if you’re insecure about doing it and have trouble reading their non-verbal signals, it may be better to wait for a better opportunity. Maybe next time you’ll feel more confident, or they’ll show you more signs that they want to kiss you back.
5. It’s too intimate
For many, kissing is not such a big deal. But for you, it’s an intimate act, and you don’t enjoy locking lips with guys or girls who are practically strangers.
In that case, the answer to the question of, “Should you kiss on the first date?” is definitely no. Wait until you get to know the other person better and you feel comfortable smooching.
Do you kiss on the first date?
To get the right picture, I’ve asked a couple of daters (both men and women) to talk to me about their habits and experience regarding first dates and first kisses. Here is what they’ve revealed:
The second date is a charm
“Personally, I think that the first date is too soon. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable kissing a stranger.
Besides, after my experience, most guys will like you more if you play hard to get in the beginning.
But I rarely wait for the third date because, let’s face it, a guy could get the impression I don’t like him until then.
That’s why I think that the second date kiss is perfect. Not too soon, not too late!”
– Julia, 33
“Doesn’t everyone kiss on the first date? Well, at the end of the date, if nothing else :chuckles:
If you ask me: should you kiss on the first date? – I ask you: why shouldn’t you? That is, if you feel like it, of course. After all, what is there to lose?”
– Amy, 29
It all depends
“Well, I can’t really give you a concrete answer. You see, it’s one thing if I went out with a guy I met on an online dating app and haven’t had the chance to talk too much before the date.
In that case, I probably won’t kiss him.
But if I’m going out on a date with a friend of a friend I’ve been texting for a while, then, yes, I wouldn’t mind kissing him.
Also, it depends on the type of date. Is it a coffee date? Or are we in the movies?
And let’s not forget about body language. If there is some serious eye contact, and if he sends me the vibe of a good kisser, I’d definitely step up my game and take things to the next level.”
– Nikkie, 22
What is there to wait for?
“Absolutely! Nothing turns me on like a good French kiss at the end of the night. Going out with someone on the first date means that you’re, if nothing else, attracted to them enough to kiss them.
It’s my job to make the first move, but hey, if she isn’t down for a smooch, it’s no big deal. I’ll take it like a man and accept it as the end of the night without a problem.”
– Steve, 38
Testing the waters is the best way to go
At the same time, I also make sure to respect my date’s boundaries. I pay attention to her body language signs and do my best to determine whether she’s down for it as well.
The last thing I want is to make the situation uncomfortable. Trust me – there is nothing worse than leaning in for a kiss on the mouth and having a girl give you a kiss on the cheek.
But if that happens, what can you do? It certainly won’t discourage me. I get it: some girls are shy and have a strict policy of no kissing when they first meet on a date.”
– Mark, 27
Is it bad if you don’t kiss on the first date?
Some people prefer taking things slow, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like you if they don’t initiate the first kiss on the first date.
Keep in mind that this is just the beginning and that there is plenty of time for you two to develop a meaningful connection that will end with a kiss.
Is a kiss on the first date a good sign?
A kiss (or any other form of physical contact) on a first date is not just a good sign someone likes you – it’s a great sign. If they want to kiss you right after meeting you, it’s a signal that the attraction they feel for you is so strong that they can’t wait to see you again.
It’s definitely a sign that they like you and want something more. Of course, it’s up to both of you to take the wheel and drive this romance in the right direction.
What date should you kiss?
If you’re sure that there is mutual attraction and physical chemistry, there is nothing wrong with kissing on the first date (keep in mind that most people wait for the end of the date). But if you need more time to decide whether this person is kissable, it’s perfectly okay to wait for the second date.
The third date is probably when you should know if you can see yourself ever kissing the other person or not. If there is still not enough chemistry between you two at this point, I’m afraid to break it to you, but you should stay friends.
What should you not do on a first date?
I’m begging you not to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Don’t do something just to please the other person or just because you think it’s expected from you.
But besides this, there are some other things you should avoid the first time you go out with someone (or ever). So, don’t:
- Be late
- Put your date down to make yourself feel better
- Mention your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend too much
- Spend the night on your phone
- Come off as cheap
- Be too pushy
To Wrap Up:
Every relationship expert will tell you pretty much the same: there is no right or wrong answer to the question, “should you kiss on the first date?” This decision is all yours, so forget about some nonexistent dating rules that tell you what you’re allowed to do.
You know what the most important thing here is? Kissing on the first date is okay. Waiting to get your first kiss is also perfectly acceptable.
The only thing that matters is that you and your date are both happy with the decision you’ve made. Forget about the norms and regulations!