When your affair started, the last thing you thought about was that you’d be looking for signs an affair is turning into love. Or maybe I’m wrong.
If we’re talking about emotional infidelity, then chances are high it could become something more.
As you can see, this is a non-judgemental zone for people who, for some reason, are having an affair. I won’t go into detail about why affairs happen, and I won’t play the blame game by calling you a cheater.
Every single person has their own reasons why they do something (or not), and I respect that. I’m here to help you figure out whether your affair is turning into love so that you can prepare yourself.
You’ll also learn how to deal with it. I hope you’re ready! ?
Signs An Affair Is Turning Into Love (Beware!)
If the majority of the following signs an affair is turning into love resonate with you, then you know you’re about to enter the zone of “being something more”:
1. They are on your mind 24/7
Constantly fantasizing about someone other than your current partner is a telltale sign you’re starting to develop strong feelings for them.
You frequently remind yourself of that famous saying catch flights, not feelings, but it simply doesn’t work. You already know that you’ve caught feelings for your affair partner, and now you have no idea what to do.
Your affair is turning into something more because you can’t stop thinking about them no matter what you do. And every time they text you, you can’t help but smile like a little child.
2. You’re spending more and more time together
There are many types of affairs, and spending more and more time with your affair partner is one of the signs of an emotional affair. You seldom think about spending time with your current partner or your current relationship.
The main source of your joy has become spending time with your affair partner. You’re constantly thinking of new ways to have fun and spend quality time with them.
You no longer only see each other at night; daytime dates have also started trending. Of course, there’s still the fear that your current partner might figure out what exactly is going on.
However, this doesn’t bother you much because you already know that your relationship has come to an end.
3. You’ve started sharing A LOT OF personal details
Oversharing with your affair partner is definitely one of the stages of emotional affairs. It’s when you share everything with them just like you once did with your current partner.
You feel comfortable talking to them about your fears, dreams, things that happened at work, and even problems in your current relationship.
Sharing a lot of personal details leads to building a deep emotional connection. The more you share with one another, the more connected you become. That’s how you know your affair is slowly but surely turning into love.
4. Comparing your affair partner with your current partner
Once you find yourself comparing the behavior of your affair partner with your current partner’s behavior, then you know it’s not only an affair.
All of a sudden, you start noticing everything your current partner lacks. Finding all those things in an affair partner is what makes you so drawn to them.
You compare their personality, life goals, and your overall compatibility with them. If you’re more compatible with your affair partner, then you know you’re more connected to them than your current partner.
5. You’ve started putting extra effort into your appearance
Hitting the gym, updating your wardrobe, and always looking fresh have become your main concerns. You’ve clearly started putting extra effort into both your well-being and appearance.
Why is that so? Are you doing it to impress your affair partner or your relationship partner? I’m sure the former is the case.
You want them to notice you, compliment you, and like you. Putting extra effort into your appearance always has a reason. In this case, the reason is you falling hard for your affair partner and wanting them to fall for you too.
6. You’re drifting apart from your current partner
Is it love or infatuation? Spending less time with your current partner definitely means that your affair is becoming serious. It’s no longer just an infatuation like you might have thought.
You’re clearly drifting apart from your current partner in every aspect of its meaning. You no longer go on dates, and your lack of intimacy and affection are some of the signs that you two are becoming distant.
You’re no longer interested in doing anything with your current partner because you enjoy doing things more with your affair partner. Yes, this is one of the signs an affair is turning into love.
7. You feel your affair partner understands you better
When you think about sharing your deepest thoughts with someone, the first thing that pops into your mind is THEM. You know that your affair partner understands you best, and perhaps your affair partner loves you as well.
Slowly but surely, you’re building a strong emotional connection without even being aware of it.
When something bad happens to you, or you need a piece of advice, you don’t go to your current partner. Instead, you contact THEM because they understand you best.
This is probably the biggest indication of how serious your affair actually is.
8. Talking at odd hours has become the norm
Phone calls at odd hours are definitely one of the signs an affair is turning into love (or should I say warning signs). You can’t wait to talk to them at night and share every single detail of your life with them.
Talking at odd hours has become your guilty pleasure. You might feel guilty for doing this behind your partner’s back, but you simply can’t help yourself.
Sneaking out in the small hours only to hear their voice is stronger than you. That’s how you know your “relationship” is becoming more intimate than before.
9. Butterflies in your stomach have awakened
When one of my male friends admitted that he was having an extramarital affair, he also added that the butterflies in his stomach had returned. Is that even possible? I guess it is.
It’s possible when you aren’t only having a physical affair but are also connected emotionally. Butterflies in your stomach are the result of excitement, compatibility, and mutual understanding.
These butterflies tell you this: “You can’t wait to see that person again. You’re under the influence of happy chemicals, and you know your affair is turning into something more serious.”
10. Your affair partner has become your confidante
Do you feel a strong urge to share every single detail of your life with your affair partner? If yes, then you know they’ve become your confidante. This is more popular among cheating women than cheating men.
Do you know the main reason for them becoming your confidante? You trust them, they understand you, and you have a special connection with them.
All these things are actually signs an affair is getting serious. It’s practically impossible to build something more meaningful without healthy communication and emotional intimacy. I’m sure you already know that.
11. You start to feel overwhelmed
“OMG, I’m in a long-term relationship, and I’m starting to develop feelings for my affair partner.” Perhaps you didn’t want to have a love affair, but it just happened.
Your love life has become more complicated than ever before, and you’re perfectly aware of it. As a matter of fact, you’re completely OVERWHELMED by it.
You beg the universe to give you a sign about what you should do about the situation you’re in. If all this creates such confusion in your life, then you know you’re already in the middle of something more serious. You’re in the middle of falling in love with your affair partner.
12. Your affair partner makes you happier
After spending time with your affair partner, your positivity levels go through the roof, and you feel awesome. You clearly feel happier spending time with them than with your significant other.
Well, that’s a major red flag of an affair turning into something more. The sole fact that you can’t stop thinking about when you’ll see them again tells you a lot about what exactly is going on here.
They’re on your mind, and you enjoy spending time with them. When they’re not together, you can’t wait to see them again. Their presence makes you happier than your current partner’s presence.
It’s only a matter of time before you admit this to yourself and realize you ought to make some big changes. Life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy, right?
13. You start to re-think your future
Have you suddenly started thinking about your future? Do you still see yourself with your current partner in the long run, or have things changed?
If things have changed, then this is also one of the signs an affair is turning into love. Keep in mind not all couples (or married couples) are happy. Sometimes, affairs turn into new relationships.
If you start thinking more about your future (or about the signs your affair partner loves you), it’s clear that something has changed. You can’t imagine spending the rest of your life with your current partner and neither in multiple affairs.
Your current affair partner is actually someone who means a lot to you, and that is why you’re reconsidering your choices and replanning your future.
14. You find it difficult to concentrate
Do emotional affairs turn into love? When affairs turn into love, you immediately find it difficult to concentrate on anything else but them.
I remember when my female friend once asked me Do married men miss their affair partners? I told her: Yes, they do miss them if they develop stronger feelings for them.
The same thing applies to women. If you find it difficult to concentrate on anything else, then you know your mind has redirected to your affair.
You know you miss their presence when they’re not around. Can you say the same about missing your current partner? If not, then you already know the answer to all your questions.
15. You’re arguing more than before with your current partner
Constant arguments in a relationship are always an indication that something’s not right. In this case, they are an indication of your internal battle regarding your affair.
Deep down in your heart, you know you’re more drawn to your affair partner than your current partner, and this has become the source of your frustration. The more time you spend with them (your affair partner), the happier and, at the same time, more miserable you are.
You know you’re not in a healthy relationship if arguments have become how you talk to one another. You’re arguing more than before because you’re deeply unhappy with them, which can’t be said about your affair.
16. You’re hiding everything from your current partner
Of course you’re hiding because you’re having an affair, right? It’s also because you know you’re in the middle of emotional cheating. That’s why you’re looking for signs an affair is turning into love.
You’re hiding everything from your current partner because you wouldn’t survive them finding out about your affair. This affair evidently means a lot to you.
You don’t want to get caught at the moment, but you’re convinced that everything will fall into place at some point. Until that happens, you’ll continue hiding everything from your current partner.
After all, you wouldn’t survive them asking you things like: Do you love them? How long have you been seeing each other? Do I mean anything to you?
You’re simply not ready to tell them the truth (or admit it to yourself either).
Emotional affairs and texting have become two interconnected terms nowadays. We live in the time of social media, where instant communication has almost replaced face-to-face convos.
What I’m trying to say is the following: If you’re having an affair and you find yourself stalking their profile on social media, then you know things are getting serious.
You like their every post, you comment on their every post, and you’re the first to see all their stories. You do that because they’re constantly on your mind.
So, when you’re thinking about someone, it’s completely natural to constantly check their social media profiles. By doing that, you feel closer to them.
18. You don’t mind if your current partner cheats too
You don’t care if your current partner’s coworker is hitting on them. You also don’t mind if they’re going to have a one-night stand, emotional affair, or sexual affair.
You’re okay with all of that. Why? Because you’re having an affair as well. But it’s not only that. It’s because you no longer have feelings for your current partner.
If you did, you would show at least a little bit of jealousy and disappointment when thinking about them cheating on you. If you’re okay with that, it just shows how indifferent you actually are about your relationship.
It also shows that your affair is slowly but surely turning into something more.
19. Your affair partner’s media files are accumulating
It’s no longer just a physical affair. It’s more than physical attraction, and you know it too. Some legit evidence of that is your affair partner’s media files on your phone.
You have more pictures and videos of them than your current partner. So, whenever your partner is not looking, you secretly check all those pics and videos of your affair partner.
You do that because you miss them. You don’t delete anything they send you because every single text is like a keepsake. Well, that’s how you know things got serious.
Normally, if you didn’t have feelings for your affair partner, you wouldn’t think twice about deleting their texts, pics, or anything else. Am I right?
What Should You Do If Your Affair Is Turning Into Love?
Okay, you’ve just realized that your affair is turning into love, and you have no idea what to do about it. I’ll skip writing all those novelty-length paragraphs and try to simplify things.
So, here’s my ultimate advice: Take it or leave it. You have two options here:
• End the relationship with your current partner.
If you’re 100% sure that your affair is turning into something more, and you’re catching feelings for them, then end the relationship with your current partner. Easier said than done, right?
Think about how you feel about your current relationship.
Are you happy? Do you think you and your current partner can fix all the problems that have accumulated in your relationship? Do you still love them? Do you think you could love them again?
Answers to these questions will help you decide the best thing to do. Keep in mind that both you and your current partner deserve to be happy. If ending the relationship with them would make you both happy, then do it.
• End the affair.
If you’re still unsure whether your affair is turning into something more serious, but you have feelings for your current partner, then end the affair.
If you’re thinking of fighting for your current relationship, sooner or later, you’ll have to end the affair. Before doing that, I suggest learning how to end an affair with integrity.
When it comes to saving your current relationship, exercises to build trust after infidelity or couples therapy are recommended.
It is especially recommended if your partner finds it difficult learning how to forgive a cheater. Remember that it will take some time for your relationship to heal and to forgive yourself for cheating.
In addition, here’s one consoling fact on infidelity and affairs by the Zur Institute: “Many couples, in fact, come out of the infidelity crises stronger and more committed.”
Interesting point. ?
Can An Affair Turn Into Lasting Love?
Yes, affairs can turn into true love, but this doesn’t happen overnight. As you spend more and more time with your affair partner, your emotional connection becomes stronger.
Through time, your affair can turn into something more serious because real love doesn’t choose. It’s true that most physical affairs end up as such, while emotional affairs have a chance of turning into love.
Keep in mind that this doesn’t happen often, but it can happen for sure. You cannot go wrong if you follow your gut and follow your heart.
I hope these signs an affair is turning into love have helped you figure out what exactly is going on in your love life. I understand if you’re feeling confused and lost at the moment.
Just know that this confusion will not last forever. Sooner or later, you’ll have to choose between your affair and your current partner.
If your affair is turning into love and you’re deeply unhappy in your current relationship, I think you already know what the best thing to do is. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck and send you a big hug!