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Do Married Men Miss Their Mistresses? 7 Reasons They Do

Do Married Men Miss Their Mistresses? 7 Reasons They Do

You like him A LOT, and I mean a lot, but there’s one thing that bothers you. It’s that you need to “share” him with another woman – his wife.

While you’re together, everything is great. The fiery passion is almost palpable, your conversations are meaningful, and his touch drives you crazy. Everything feels just right until he needs to go home to his wife, and the reality of being the other woman kicks in.

That’s when you start asking yourself that famous question: Do married men miss their mistresses?

Other follow-up questions include: Why and how often do married men miss their mistresses? What are the signs that he misses his mistress?

To these and many other questions, you’ll find the answers below.

DISCLAIMER: This is a judgment-free article, so there’s no need for you to feel bad about being someone’s mistress, aka paramour. It happens to even the best of us, and perhaps you’re meant to be together.

Do Married Men Miss Their Mistresses? Here’s Why They Do

Yes, married men miss their mistresses because they enjoy their company and feel attached to them to a certain extent.

Some men have stronger feelings for their mistresses, while others don’t take it too seriously. However, when they’re not with their mistress, they’re bound to miss them, and here are all the reasons why:

1. You provide something he lacks in his marriage

One of the main reasons extramarital affairs happen is because of something a person lacks in their marriage. This could be anything. Perhaps it’s an emotional connection that he lacks with his wife, or you boost his self-esteem.

Read between the lines when he tells you something like I can’t remember the last time my wife hugged me or kissed me like she really meant it.

It means he’s found the missing part of his marriage with you, which answers the question Do married men miss their mistresses?

I’m not saying that a married man is using you just because of what you can give him. There could also be feelings involved.

But the fact is, they also miss something that you give them that their wife doesn’t. This doesn’t need to be of a sexual nature. As I already said, it could be anything.

2. He’s in love with you

Yes, it’s not unusual for a married man to fall in love with his mistress, especially if we’re talking about a long-term mistress. This doesn’t only happen in movies but in real life as well.

I know what you’re thinking, and I agree with you. Usually, a married man loves his wife more than his mistress, but there are always exceptions.

Keep in mind that it takes time for a married man to develop feelings for another woman that isn’t his wife. Most of them don’t plan on falling in love with their mistresses, even when they choose to keep things light.

Why, you wonder? Because they still aren’t ready to break up with their wives, which means they aren’t ready to emotionally invest in other women.

But when he falls in love with his mistress, he will miss her A LOT. He will miss her both when he’s spending time with his wife and when he’s completely alone. If a married man is in love with you, trust me, you’ll know it.

He will do everything in his power to prove to you that he’s ready for another chapter in his life – a potential divorce. (Something lots of mistresses secretly desire if they have strong feelings for them as well.)

3. You’re his safe haven

Nope, he doesn’t necessarily need to be in love with you to miss you. One of the reasons why men cheat is because they’re looking for a safe haven.

Normally, their safe haven is their man cave, of course, and then their wife. When their emotional connection breaks, they no longer feel like they can be themselves around their spouse. (No, I’m not trying to justify their choices.)

If we add a nagging mother-in-law to the equation, diapers, crying babies, and whatnot, there you have it: a recipe for a married man to start looking for happiness elsewhere.

Was the decision to get married something he wasn’t fully prepared for? Is he still in love with his wife, but external circumstances are ruining the marriage?

Too many questions.

What I’m trying to say is that a man will miss his mistress if he finds a safe haven in her. This means that he confides in her, feels comfortable around her, and like she completely understands him.

If that is the case, be sure that every moment spent with you feels like heaven, and when you’re apart, he can’t stop thinking about you and your special moments together.

4. His wife is giving him a hard time

Long-term relationships and marriages are tough and require constant effort. Both partners need to work on themselves and be ready to compromise when needed.

So, let’s say that his wife no longer treats him the same way as she did before. Perhaps she nags him all the time due to some internal battles she has with herself.

If his wife is giving him a hard time all the time (pun intended), be sure that he’ll miss you more than you think.

The main contributors to an unhappy marriage are UNSAID WORDS, DRAMA, LACK OF RESPECT, AND HONEST COMMUNICATION. I’m not yelling but just indicating the importance of these terms. ?

So, do married men miss their mistresses? Yes, they do. They miss them, especially if their relationship with their wife has gone south.

I’m not saying that he sees you as his wife’s alternative, but he finds support and understanding in you. You give him things he no longer has with his wife, probably due to some issues that have been swept under the carpet.

5. He’s deeply attracted to you

There are many types and levels of attraction, and it would be impossible to list them all. So, I’ll just refer to sexual and emotional attraction.

If he’s deeply emotionally attracted to you, he’ll think of you literally every second of the day while he’s at work, at home, at the gym, you name it.

However, if his attraction towards you is solely physical, he might not think about you all the time but in intervals. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re in love with a married man and he’s only sexually attracted to you, this could be a problem.

How will you know the difference between the two? Just carry on reading the below signs a married man misses you. If there is no emotional attraction, he certainly won’t bother doing all those things that are listed below.

6. You have a strong emotional connection

If a married man (or a married woman) has a strong connection with someone else instead of their current partner, they’re bound to think of that person more than their spouse.

Above I said that there are different types of attraction. The same thing applies to different types of cheating. There’s a difference between emotional affairs and solely physical affairs or a combination of both.

Emotional infidelity is probably even more hurtful than physical infidelity, but we won’t get into that. What we’re interested in is a married man missing you. If you have a strong emotional connection with him, you can be sure that you’ll be on his mind frequently.

How can you know that you have a deep emotional connection? Here are a few signs of a strong connection between lovers:

• Your conversations are deep, meaningful, and honest.

• You empathize with one another.

• You care about each other’s needs.

• You know what’s on their mind without even asking.

The above are the main indicators of being strongly emotionally connected with your married man. If they resonate with you, then you know he genuinely misses you.

7. He enjoys spending time with you

When he’s home with his wife, he feels burdened for two reasons: His evidently unhappy marriage and seeing you behind her back.

When he thinks of his marriage, he doesn’t feel like a cheater because he’s convinced that their marriage is doomed. He enjoys spending time with you more than anything in the world.

Maybe you keep surprising him (something his wife no longer does), and your sense of humor is consistent and refreshing.

There are many reasons why a married man will enjoy spending time with his mistress, and the main one is: She (you) makes him feel good about himself.

With you, he doesn’t feel pressured or anxious. Spending time with you feels just right, and that’s why he can’t stop seeing you. That’s why he can’t stop thinking about you.

See also: Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?

5 Signs A Married Man Misses His Mistress

How will you know that a married man misses you? Well, his actions certainly speak louder than his words, so I suggest paying attention to that. Below you’ll find the most common signs a married man misses you.

1. Calls and texts are frequent

When you call him or send him a text message, he never lets you wait but replies within seconds. Well, that’s kind of too fast for a married man, right?

Obviously, he’s doing it for a reason. It’s because he misses your voice, your flirty texts, and how you make him smile every time he reads them.

If a married man constantly texts and calls you, you can be sure he TOTALLY misses you. We all know that men are terrible texters because they don’t see the point of constantly exchanging thoughts in the virtual world.

But things change when they truly start caring and missing someone. Then they have no problem texting you every second if needed.

They also aren’t scared of double-texting because their feelings for you are stronger than their fear of what you’re going to say about their multiple texts.

2. Random visits

Do married men miss their mistresses? Oh yes, they do. How will you know? One of the surefire ways to know he misses you is if he surprises you with random visits.

We all know how things usually function. You pick a day and time that suits both of you (and his wife) so that you don’t risk getting caught.

If a married man chooses to visit you randomly, then you can be sure there’s something more going on. Obviously, he couldn’t wait to see you when you planned (or when you’re about to plan), so he decided to surprise you.

He couldn’t wait because to him, every second without you feels like an eternity. Maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but something like that is definitely going through his mind.

Random visits scream the following things:

• I miss you so much, and I can’t wait to see you.

• I don’t care what others will say if they see me. I want to see you right now.

• I can’t stop thinking about you.

Do you miss him too? ?

3. Thoughtful gifts are his specialty

I recently read a comment on Facebook by a woman saying: “I’m sure mistresses lead a better life than wives because they get all the gifts and attention.”

When I think closely about it, I think this woman may be right. It’s true that men pay so much more attention to their mistresses than their wives. (Maybe that’s why they have a mistress in the first place or why women have affairs with married men. ?)

Every woman wants to feel special, and every man knows that it’s his duty to make a woman feel that way if he cares about her. So, if he constantly surprises you with thoughtful gifts and other romantic gestures, this is a strong indication of him missing you.

Let’s say that he’s in a store randomly looking at things, and then he sees something that would suit you. He doesn’t think of buying this item for his wife but for you because you’re the first person that came to mind and not his wife.

There is something about men and gifts. If we go deeper into that matter, we could find so many worthy hypotheses that are, unfortunately, a story for another day (or article).

4. His social media activity is greatly inspired by you

Since he met you, have you noticed any changes in his social media activity? Maybe he posted that song you recently talked about, a joke, or a reel you sent him.

If his social media activity is greatly inspired by you, then you know you have made a strong impact on his life. He probably can’t stop thinking about everything you talked about, and he connects every single post with you.

Your virtual presence is strong with him. Look at it this way: You’re on his mind in real life, and he shifts these thoughts into the virtual world.

I daresay that this is a brave move because his wife might get suspicious about his sudden praise of a certain band he never heard of before.

Evidently, he’s not too worried about what she might say but is focused on doing what feels right in the moment.

5. He can’t help but talk about you to others

A man would never talk about you with his or your mutual friends, coworkers, or other people unless you’re on his mind. Period.

If he can’t help himself but utter your name in almost every conversation with other people you both know, then this is a huge sign he misses you.

Maybe he wants to hear from them about what you’re up to, about your job, and similar. Also, he has a strong need to say a few nice words about you to them because he feels like it’s his holy duty.

When you care about someone, you want the whole world to know how awesome they are. Maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing, and he’s probably not even aware of it.

How Often Does a Married Man Think About His Mistress?

This is a tough question that doesn’t have a precise answer, but, as always, I’ll do my best not to disappoint. A married man thinks about his mistress frequently, but this doesn’t mean that there is no guilt associated with it.

We’re talking about a cheating husband’s guilt that magically vanishes when he’s about to see his mistress again. Yes, married men tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions, but they quickly forget about it before their next affair meeting.

He will often think about his mistress, and she’ll be even more frequently on his mind if they’re in constant contact (texting or calling).

One thing is sure. If a married man is at work, he’ll think more about his mistress than his wife. Thinking about his wife is something he’s trying to suppress due to feelings of guilt. Thinking about you is something he enjoys doing.

How Do You Know If A Married Man Has Feelings For You?

You know a married man has feelings for you (and is probably head over heels in love with you) if he opens up to you, is interested in your life, and shares his feelings, life’s desires, and burdens with you.

True love is powerful. The fact that he’s a married man doesn’t influence the possibility of falling in love with another person; in this case, you.

If he stops wearing his wedding ring, this is definitely a good sign. If he’s persistent in convincing you that he’s about to leave his wife, chances are he’s telling the truth.

Here’s another gut feeling indication. If you don’t feel anxious about spending time with him and the whole situation in general, you know things are going in the right direction.

Now, this depends on what you want from him. Are you content being his side chick, or do you want something more than that? Whichever you choose, it’s important that you are happy with your choice.

How Does a Married Man Feel When His Mistress Leaves Him?

Will he miss the romantic relationship he had with his mistress? How does a married man feel when she leaves him?

Well, this depends on the relationship (or should I say affair) he has with his mistress and the feelings invested.

Now, let’s look at the things from a mistress’s perspective:

Deep down in her heart, she knew that he never was hers and never would be. So, she’s decided to no longer wait at home with open arms for him to come when it’s convenient. By leaving him, she’s decided to change your love life for good.

So, how does he feel when she leaves him?

If he had feelings for her, he would miss her. He will blame himself for letting her go, and he will also miss having a safe haven. If he didn’t have feelings for her, if their relationship was strictly physical, he won’t be that bothered about it.

He will focus on finding another mistress who can provide him with what he needs. Emotional needs and physical needs are two different realms. They dictate how a married man will feel after his mistress leaves him.


Do married men miss their mistresses? Yes, married men miss their mistresses, especially if we’re talking about long-term mistresses and emotional investment.

Married men who seek only physical pleasure in their mistresses aren’t really emotionally attached to them, so they won’t miss them that much. They will but for different reasons.

That’s it. I hope you’ve learned more about married men and their relationships with mistresses and that you have no more questions. ?