When you’re dealing with someone who has NPD, you assume that there is nothing you can do to hurt them emotionally. Even when you try, they always find a way to make it backfire on you.
But I’m here to end your misery. Once you learn what drives a narcissist insane, you can give them a taste of their own medicine and reverse the roles once and for all!
These 15 tactics will help you drive your narcissist crazy!
1. The silent treatment
If you’re looking for ways to hurt someone who displays narcissistic behavior, the best way to do so is by ignoring them. Yes, that’s right, I’m telling you to give them the silent treatment.
For as long as you can remember, you gave your narcissistic mother, father, or partner exactly what they wanted from you. You cried, begged them to change, or argued with them until you lost all of your strength.
And what did you accomplish with this? That’s right, one big, fat nothing. So, why wouldn’t you change tactics? Why wouldn’t you try ignoring them and behaving like they don’t exist?
Trust me, this is what will trigger their narcissistic rage in the blink of an eye. And that’s when you’ll have them right where you want them.
2. Losing control
What is common for everyone with NPD? Among other things, one of their ultimate goals is to have control over their victims.
Narcissists, sociopaths, and emotional psychopaths will get possessive because they’re scared of losing control over you. You have to be aware that you’re dealing with control freaks. Everything has to be their way or no way at all.
That’s why you must show them that they can’t rule over you. You’re the only one in charge of your own life. How do you do that? Well, you can start by disobeying them about some seemingly little things.
However, the most important thing is to show them that they have no more influence over you. At least, not as much as they used to have.
3. Taking criticism
Here’s every narcissist’s biggest secret: they have incredibly low self-esteem. Who would say, right?
Well, they actually hide their true self because they hate the person they are. People with narcissistic personality disorder have a very fragile perception of their self-worth. That’s why being criticized is one of their biggest fears.
They invest a lot of time and energy into building a seemingly perfect face they show the world. So, the moment you criticize them about the smallest thing, you cause a narcissistic injury.
You don’t even have to do it on purpose. You can jokingly say you don’t like their new shirt or that they could have cleaned the house a bit better. On a conscious level, they know that you’re joking or that you mean well. However, their fragile ego can’t stand admitting and accepting something like this.
4. Not being the center of attention
What does a narcissistic need? Validation and admiration. What drives a narcissist insane? Not having any of that!
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your narcissistic parents, romantic partner, or friend – they’re all the same when it comes to this. These people enjoy the spotlight. In fact, they need attention like a normal person needs air to breathe.
So, what happens when someone else becomes your center of attention? A narcissist goes completely crazy. But you know what the funniest thing about this is? They can’t take that you’re your own center of attention either.
The moment that happens, a narcissist feels like they’re losing the ground they walk on.
5. Being called out for their actions
How great would it be if we could all do whatever the hell we wanted without anyone pointing out our mistakes? Well, that’s exactly what every narc expects of their victim.
You have to be aware of one thing: these people struggle with a lack of empathy. If you, for example, break up a narcissistic relationship, your ex will never feel guilty for breaking your heart. Not only that – they’ll also be surprised if you gather the courage to call them out on their actions.
And if you really refuse to give them a second chance and explain that your behavior is just a reaction to their actions, they’ll be stunned.
We’re talking about someone who thinks they’re smarter than the rest of the world. So, they’ll go crazy once you tell them straight that you know exactly what they’re doing and that you don’t plan on putting up with it.
6. Other people’s happiness
We’ve already established that a lack of empathy is one of the most common narcissistic traits. This doesn’t only mean that they can’t sympathize with someone else’s pain.
This lack of empathy also means that they don’t have the ability to be happy for other people. They just can’t stand someone else’s happiness and will do everything in their power to destroy it.
At the end of the day, every narcissist is actually just jealous. Deep down, they know that they cannot feel true, pure happiness and hate everyone who is capable of it.
Basically, if you want to drive a narcissist crazy, it’s enough to show them that you’re genuinely happy. Once they realize that all of the mind games, gaslighting, and emotional abuse they put you through didn’t kill your spirit, they will be devastated.
7. Mirroring a narcissist
How to shut down a narcissist? It’s enough to treat them the same way they treat everyone else. Just give them a taste of their own medicine. Reverse the tables and make them walk a mile in your shoes.
This kind of behavior is called mirroring a narcissist. Don’t worry, you won’t become just like them for real. You’re a normal person, and you’re only pretending to be like this to play with a narc.
But I’m warning you: narcissistic mirroring is anything but easy. It includes numerous manipulation tactics, such as love-bombing (followed by ghosting), gaslighting, silent treatment, and so on.
Let’s get one thing straight: I would never advise doing any of these things to some other random person. However, sometimes, this is the only way to emotionally hurt a narcissist.
8. Breaking their spell
What drives a narcissist insane? Well, the fact that their victim managed to break their spell. It’s the realization that you got to the bottom of their intentions. It’s that you got them all figured out.
Basically, they get upset the moment you realize that you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse. Understanding that is the first step towards escaping them, and they know this very well.
They don’t want you to take off your rose-tinted glasses. They’ll do everything in their power to prevent you from seeing properly.
But when you finally get rid of their magic, they don’t know what to do. You’re no longer enchanted, and they don’t have as much influence over you as they used to have.
9. The victim’s independence
Remember we talked about a narcissist losing control? You have to know that these people expect their partners, friends, and family members to be emotionally dependent on them.
However, what happens when their victim stops being emotionally dependent on them? Well, that’s another thing a narc can’t stand. Your world has stopped revolving around them, which immediately destroys their sense of self-worth.
Nevertheless, I’m not only talking about emotional independence. I’m talking about any kind of independence, including financial, social, and so on.
They will go insane if they see that you’re capable of making your own decisions without their involvement. It looks like you don’t need them anymore, which means practically nothing is holding you back from leaving.
10. Anyone being better than them
Everyone who has narcissistic personality disorder has some serious self-esteem issues. They try to hide it, but they constantly compare themselves to everyone in their surroundings, including their friends, family members, romantic partners, coworkers, and even people who just happen to pass by them.
In their twisted sense of reality, they have to be better than everyone else. On the contrary, they’re completely worthless.
To them, people’s entire existence on this planet is nothing but a big competition. So, what drives a narcissist insane? The horrible realization that someone is better than them.
It’s enough for you to praise their coworker and tell them that they have a good sense of humor or to tell them that you like their best friend’s new car. Normal people wouldn’t even notice these remarks. But a narc will think about them for days!
11. Ordinary treatment
One of the first red flags to pay attention to when figuring out if someone is a narcissist is this person’s sense of self-importance.
That’s the irony of their personalities: they actually struggle with major insecurities, but at the same time, they think that they’re more important than the rest of the world.
These people expect VIP treatment wherever they go. They want to feel like royalty, always under the spotlight. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if you invite them to a party? You don’t ignore them, nor do you welcome them as a special guest.
Trust me, that would crush them more than anything! It means that they’ve lost the ability to get any reaction from you. And that was the only superpower they had. If that doesn’t destroy them, nothing will!
12. Public embarrassment
If you know a thing or two about narcissism, you know that people with NPD are usually the most prominent members of society. It doesn’t matter what kind of narcissistic abuse you’re going through – your abuser will always do their best to hide it from the world.
After all, why do you think gaslighting is so important to them? They’re terrified that you’ll speak out about their actions. They want to prevent it so badly that they’re ready to persuade you that you’re imagining things.
So, what drives a narcissist insane? Destroying their public image! They can’t stand being embarrassed in front of other people.
Criticizing and humiliating them when you’re with company will do the trick. But you know what will destroy them completely? Showing the world their true colors! Lifting the mask they show everyone and revealing who they really are will crush them more than anything!
13. Not getting their own way
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about little things or huge decisions. A narcissist has to have everything go their way. Have you forgotten? After all, we’re talking about the most intelligent and capable people in the whole wide world!
Everyone, especially their victims, must listen to them and follow their lead. That is another thing that makes them feel superior and helps them with their rocky self-confidence. Therefore, the thing that drives them crazy is not having things go their way.
For example, you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Your romantic partner planned on insulting you, and then they started gaslighting you. They were sure that things would go smoothly, as always. They would manage to convince you that you’re overreacting and imagining things.
But this time, you reacted differently. You stick to your story, and you don’t allow them to brainwash you with their manipulation tactics. Not getting the outcome they were expecting leaves them confused. However, you have to be careful about this one because it also triggers narcissistic rage!
14. Being called out for their insecurities
The difference between a normal person and someone with narcissism is how they perceive these insecurities. Normal people know that nobody is perfect. They know that insecurities are perfectly normal; they do their best to overcome them and sometimes even joke about them.
On the other hand, every narc pretends to be flawless. They deceive the world into thinking that they love their true selves even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If you look closely, you’ll get to the bottom of their insecurities. You’ll find out what they hate about themselves the most. And once you find that out, it’s time to tackle these insecurities. But make sure to pretend that you’re doing it by accident.
You’ll get an even better effect if you do it in public.
15. Going no contact
Finally, if you’re wondering what drives a narcissist insane, the answer is: going no contact! This includes not talking to them, blocking their number, ignoring their text messages, not visiting places you know you might run into them, not mentioning their name to your mutual friends…
It means cutting them off completely and living your life as if they were never a part of it. But there is something you have to keep in mind here.
When you usually go no contact with someone, you’re doing it to get them back. You want them to feel your absence so they can appreciate your presence.
Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be your primary goal when dealing with a narc. Trust me – you don’t want this person back, and you don’t want them obsessing over you.
You’re going no contact for two reasons. First of all, you’re doing it to drive your narc crazy. But at the same time, you should be doing it to help yourself heal.
