What does the expression ‘bad boy’ mean to you? Do you picture someone mysterious, magnetic, and laid back, maybe a few tattoos and an intense gaze?
A guy who’s going to storm into your life and give you the whirlwind romance you’ve always been dreaming about? Or is it someone you’re sure is going to end up hurting you?
Heartbreak is always a possibility in a romantic relationship, but a lack of kindness and taking advantage aren’t bad boy traits.
Is a bad boy the same thing as a player, and should you drop him for a nice guy? The answers are no and no.
Let’s get to know this exciting type of guy and clear up any misconceptions you might have about him.
13 Bad Boy Traits Women Find Attractive
First things first, we’re not talking about bad people here. Any guy who is violent or disrespectful of your autonomy and consent is contemptible and not worthy of attention. That isn’t a bad boy; that’s a bad person.
Bad boys are carefree but not careless. They disregard social expectations, but they don’t disrespect your feelings.
A bad boy isn’t rude or mean. He can even be sweet and cute, and that won’t change the fact that he’s still a bad boy if he’s a self-assured man who isn’t tied down by what society wants from him.
What are the most attractive qualities of a bad boy?
1. Free spirit
A free-spirited person is unconstrained by traditional social conventions.
A bad boy can be a motorcycle-riding rebel-without-a-cause type, a cute e-boy with mint hair, or a businessman wearing a bespoke suit. All of these men are living on their own terms.
He goes with the flow and lives life following his own rules. If he doesn’t conform to social norms and lives fully as himself, he’s a bad boy.
It takes strength to live like this, and it’s not for everyone. Criticism and judgment are thrown at him from all sides because society wants him to conform.
His lifestyle is discouraged on a daily basis. Yet, he doesn’t compromise his values and ideas to fit in.
A man who doesn’t seek external validation is his own, and that makes him attractive.
2. Confidence
False modesty and self-doubt are unattractive attributes. A man who is timid and unsure doesn’t inspire trust. The same goes for a man who boasts and pats his own back – those are definite signs of insecurity.
A bad boy has a high and healthy self-esteem. He values who he is as a person and his view of himself is neither exaggerated nor understated. He’s aware of his qualities and flaws.
He knows what he wants and has confidence in his ability to make decisions. He has a healthy belief in his own opinions and understands his own capabilities.
A confident man likes and respects himself as a person. This isn’t arrogance or a way to make himself seem dominant, but a genuine sense of self-worth and self-love.
He has boundaries and makes them known. He speaks up when they are not being respected. He trusts himself to have control over his own life.
3. Shamelessness
Being shameless means being aware of your own worth. Shame is learned, and that’s what makes us think that there’s something wrong with us and that we’re inadequate.
When society shames us for being too much or not enough, it teaches us to push down any part of ourselves that isn’t prescribed. It can cause a lot of self-esteem problems and leave lasting damage.
A bad boy is shameless. His high self-confidence and disregard for social structures allow him to stay true to himself.
He values himself and defiantly accepts his own likes and dislikes, behavior, appearance, and anything else society tends to criticize to shame people.
He doesn’t care about labels anyone might attach to him. He’s honest about his personality and self-expression.
He can handle criticism because it has nothing to do with his value as a person.
4. Assertiveness
A bad boy knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. He’s able to confidently express his needs and opinions and speak up for himself.
He doesn’t sit around waiting for things to pass by or happen – he’s decisive and takes action. He isn’t passive but pursues what he wants.
The fact that he’s assertive doesn’t mean that he’s aggressive. He’s self-assured but not disrespectful. His approach makes it possible to get what he wants without disadvantage to others.
When a bad boy wants you, he’s not shy about it, but if you’re not interested, he accepts it without anger or being upset. He respects himself and others.
5. Honesty
A bad boy is direct, bold, and upfront about his intentions. He will talk openly about whether he’s interested in you or not. You can be sure that such a man isn’t playing games.
A bad boy isn’t going to deceive you to get your attention. He knows his qualities and is unafraid of expressing himself, so you can always expect him to be honest. He sees no reason to hide.
He doesn’t feel the need to be with every woman that catches his eye. He expresses his interest without hesitation, but if you reject him, he still sees you as a person.
He won’t pretend that he’s your friend or feign interest in your life to get you to sleep with him. Still, you might actually become friends.
6. Adventurousness
A bad boy is a roguish daredevil, impulsive and daring.
He’s open to experiences and loves trying new things. He’s eager to undertake things that involve risk or danger.
This doesn’t only have to mean that he’s into extreme sports or fast cars – although he might as well be. He’s also open to new methods and ways in his job and relationships.
Shameless, uninhibited, and dashing, this man will take you places you never expected. He’ll share his experiences and show you excitement.
From your first date to wherever your path together may lead you, one thing is for sure: you’ll never be bored with a bad boy.
7. Vulnerability
Lots of people try to avoid their negative feelings. It’s normal because we want to avoid the pain that inevitably accompanies them.
A bad boy is self-aware and secure in himself. He’s able to acknowledge his feelings and process them. Uncertainty and the risk that comes from being open aren’t something he fears.
When you just meet him, you might be surprised by his lack of worry about rejection.
Sure, it’s not a big deal, and he might have other immediate options, but this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care at all. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be showing interest.
It means that he can handle being rejected and deal with the feelings that come from it. He’s not ashamed of any part of himself.
If you start a relationship with him, you’ll be able to see his emotional vulnerability more closely. This is what will make you fall in love with him.
8. Passion
What is passion? It’s something that has significant meaning in your life. It’s the drive and determination to overcome any obstacle.
A bad boy has passion. He’s honest about his desires and dares to pursue them. He’s a man focused on what he wants. He has things important to him and is willing to work for them.
He might be passionate about a number of things: creativity, career, or loved ones. Passion is what gives him willpower and a sense of purpose.
Being passionate about something isn’t always fun. Having passion means working through your negativity to achieve your dream. A bad boy isn’t afraid of his passion.
9. Sexiness
A bad boy has swag. He knows how to be sexy.
As a result of his self-confidence, a bad boy knows how to carry himself. His stride, his gaze, his body language, all of these things give him noticeable sex appeal.
When a bad boy wants you, he shows you unrestricted attention. He makes it clear that he wants you and makes you feel sexy and desirable.
A bad boy’s behavior signals that he’s uninhibited, wild, and intense. He knows how to flirt and how to excite. He seduces you with his personality and powerful charisma.
His interest isn’t unsafe. He doesn’t try to trick you or butter you up with promises.
If you let him know you’re not interested, he’ll back off and won’t try to convince you to change your mind by making you doubt your own feelings.
10. Style
A bad boy likes himself and likes to express himself. His appearance advertises and represents him, so he puts thought and care into his grooming and outfits.
He’s often cool-looking and stylish, and it’s not rare that he has a look about him that makes people judge him by his appearance.
Just like his personality, his style is also unconventional, dramatic, or adventurous.
His style is purposeful – he makes his clothes his own. He never looks like he’s just wearing them for decency but to show off who he is.
Whichever his style, others either criticize him or envy and copy him. Women who are attracted to him admire him and respect the effort.
11. Masculinity
A bad boy exudes masculine energy.
All types of bad boys are masculine. His masculinity isn’t necessarily rugged or harsh. He doesn’t have to be a biker or a jock to be manly.
What makes him masculine is his strength, confidence, and independence. He’s in charge of his life and goes after the things he wants.
A manly guy isn’t intimidated by women. He doesn’t consider women to be on a pedestal or that they should be beneath him.
His masculinity is obvious in the fact that he can protect you and stand up for you. Be sure that a bad boy in your life will always come to your aid before a nice guy who’d rather not rock the boat.
A bad boy is comfortable in his own skin and doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. He’s true to himself and unconcerned by other people’s opinions.
He may be a bad boy, but he’s a good guy. Violence, bullying, aggression, and other signs of toxic masculinity aren’t a part of his manliness.
12. Charm
To be charming, a guy needs wit, a sense of humor, and self-awareness.
A bad guy doesn’t take himself too seriously and is happy to play around. His charm is in light teasing and playful banter.
A man who knows how to be charming knows how to make a woman feel wanted without pressure. He has plenty of options, but he chooses you, and that’s flattering.
When he turns on the charm, he acknowledges you as a sexy woman but focuses on your mind.
He sometimes flirts just for the sake of flirting, to have a pleasant time without anything at stake. Other times, it’s a prelude to more.
In any case, interacting with a charming bad boy is a pleasure that won’t be easily forgotten.
13. Courage
One of the things that are certain about bad boys is that they have courage. A bad boy lives his life bravely on his own terms, without taking into account what society demands of him.
This doesn’t mean that he considers other people unimportant. It means that he doesn’t think that they have a say in things that are only his business.
Lots of men claim to be rebellious risk-takers, but it rarely goes past social media posts about how cool they are. A bad boy doesn’t make empty claims – he goes out and does his thing.
He doesn’t need dating advice on how to win a woman like she’s a prize. He puts himself out there and makes his intentions known. He’s brave enough to risk his feelings.
See also: Why Are Tomboys Attractive? 10 Reasons Why Men Fall For Them
What Do Women Mean When They Say They’re Attracted To A Bad Boy?
When a woman says she’s attracted to a bad boy, she doesn’t mean a dominant, macho dude who’s going to jerk her around and make her cry.
She wants a man who’s intriguing and thrilling, who has no inhibitions and no hang-ups. A man who knows how to make women feel free enough to thoroughly enjoy everything he has to offer.
The appeal of a bad boy is that he makes women feel like they can get out of their comfort zone and let go without being judged.
It’s a guy women love because of his self-confidence, open-mindedness, and direct approach. Regardless of whether he offers excitement without commitment or something longer-lasting, it’s sure to be a memorable experience.
A bad boy won’t make you feel unappreciated and unhappy. If he’s hurting you with his behavior, you’re dealing with a player.
He does his own thing without caring what people think, but not at the expense of others. A bad boy isn’t a bad guy.
What Is The Difference Between A Bad Boy And A Player?
Contrary to what some may think, a bad boy isn’t a player. They’re easy to confuse, especially if you’ve been dating players who have caused you heartache.
Players and bad boys both do what they want. The big difference is that a bad boy doesn’t care about other people’s opinions, and a player doesn’t care about your feelings.
A bad boy doesn’t use games and trickery to get your attention. He lives his life, and you become a part of it, temporarily or permanently.
You might share a night, a year, or stay together forever, and none of these starts as a game to get something from you by duping you into it.
A player, on the other hand, views you as a conquest instead of a person.
• MANIPULATION: He will manipulate you to get you to sleep with him. This kind of man uses pickup techniques and plays with your feelings. He doesn’t care if you get hurt.
• LIES: A player uses games and seduction tactics to attract women and won’t refrain from deception if that’s what it takes. He only wants sex and has no problem being dishonest to get it.
• LOSS OF INTEREST: After he’s done with you, a player loses interest. He likes the chase and the fact that it has succeeded. He feels no shame about his underhanded methods and enjoys them.
• HURT: If you still end up in a relationship with him, he’ll repeatedly make you feel bad about yourself and continue his regular dating life, that is, tricking other women into sleeping with him.
What Is The Difference Between A Bad Boy And A Nice Guy?
When a woman says she wants a nice guy, she’s thinking of a genuine, good person.
Self-described nice guys are nearly always the furthest from that. If he refers to himself as a nice guy, it’s a huge red flag.
A nice guy usually has none of the attractive and valuable bad boy traits.
In the way a player uses his methods to get what he wants, a nice guy is similarly deceitful. His deceit, however, might last for a longer time, and they might even prove to be dangerous.
• ENTITLEMENT: If there’s one thing that describes a nice guy, it’s his sense of entitlement.
A nice guy considers his niceness a commodity he provides beautiful women he’s attracted to, and he expects something in return.
He believes that showing you basic human decency means you owe him sex or to become his girlfriend.
• DECEIT: His behavior is fake. If you enter a serious relationship with another man, and he realizes he really has no chance, a nice guy stops pretending.
He only acts nice until he’s rejected with finality. This is when he shows his real face, and you can expect a roller-coaster of unpredictability: anger, gaslighting, and scary behavior.
• INSENSITIVITY: He’ll only be nice as long as he thinks he has a chance with you, but even then, there are cracks that show his true personality.
He’ll say and do things that show no consideration for you as a person. You’ll notice hints that his actions aren’t really done out of respect, but instead, because he thinks that’s what he has to do to get you.
• SEXISM: Nice guys don’t understand that women aren’t prizes to be won. They often actually hate women and feel threatened by any man who shows them genuine respect.
They only value women’s attention and not their personalityies and opinions. His friendship means nothing, and he’ll reveal that when he starts whining about the “friendzone.”
• PLAYING THE VICTIM: It’s always someone else’s fault.
He’ll blame the “alpha male” who swooped in and stole his woman, or he’ll blame you for leading him on. He’ll blame society for giving him low self-esteem. Really, he’ll blame anyone for whatever his problem is.
His own life is never his own responsibility.
So, Are Bad Boys Actually Good Boys?
All the bad boy traits we discussed are positive, and they make up a man with a laid-back attitude who lives his life by his own rules.
He has been dubbed ‘bad’ because he doesn’t care about social expectations and, therefore, can’t be controlled.
A bad boy is a guy with a high level of self-esteem. He trusts himself, isn’t ashamed of his desires, and feels no need to be dishonest to get what he wants.
This absolute confidence that doesn’t devolve into arrogance makes him impossibly attractive. An exciting, sexy guy who can give you pleasure and respect – what’s not to like?
Whether you fall in love with him, or you share a thrilling night together, it’s going to be an unforgettable experience.