It’s inevitable. We all get hurt by the people we love. Some, we forgive, and others, we let go of. But, before we make those decisions, there is always confusion.
What can you do when you get disappointed when someone you love hurts you ? Is there really a way to heal your sad soul ?
Well, my fellow reader, there sure is. And, I will let you know all about it if you stay with me.
You’ll learn 15 useful techniques to deal with your pain, and you’ll see that there’s always a bright side to look at no matter how awful things seem.
15 Things To Do If You Get Disappointed When Someone You Love Hurts You Deeply
If you’re struggling to cope with disappointment or heartbreak , check out these 15 effective ways to deal with it:
1. Vent to someone
There’s nothing worse than suffering in silence. If you’re disappointed when someone you love hurts you, reach out to a person of turn, whoever that is for you.
It could be a friend or a family member or even a therapist.
Send them a text message , or arrange a get-together… whatever feels more comfortable for you.
The important thing is that you talk about your negative feelings. If you keep the disappointment buried inside you, it won’t end well.
It will only build up over time, and it might ruin your other relationships.
The bottom line is… talk, talk, talk! Even better – burst into tears ! That’s all you need in order to start feeling better .
2. Have some me-time
As important as it is to vent to someone, you still need to process the negative emotions on your own.
Talking gives you a sense of ease, especially if the other person understands you.
However, alone time gives you clarity. You see things from a whole new perspective.
Nobody is there to cloud your judgement. You are the only one whose opinion and feelings matter because it literally involves YOU. Nobody else knows what it’s like.
It’s very easy to be affected by another person, so value your me-time. Trust your own intuition.
We often turn to others because we want guidance. We don’t trust in our own perceptive abilities, so we seek validation for every little thing that we notice. Stop that.
YOUR feelings got hurt. Only YOU know what you need. So, be the one to validate yourself .
3. Tell them how you feel
This one probably didn’t occur to you, did it? We usually end up talking to anyone BUT the person who hurt us. We’re not aware that this part is crucial for our healing process.
I know it’s hard to tell them how you feel because you love them. Since they matter to you, the words just get stuck in your throat.
When you have a fight with someone who doesn’t mean anything to you, it’s always much easier. You’re impulsive because you don’t care about the consequences.
But, precisely because it is a loved one , you should be emotionally vulnerable . Explain how disappointed you are. Say whatever is on your soul.
If you do this, not only will you lighten your heavy heart , but you will also see how much they care about you. Their reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
You will either find closure … or get your loved one back.
4. Remember the good times
By this, I don’t mean that you should forget about your disappointment. You have every right to feel it. If your soul is tired , nobody gets to tell you that it isn’t.
But, even if your emotions are valid, you shouldn’t focus only on the pain.
How happy were you together? How many good memories have you created?
Not everything is black and white. People will always disappoint you one way or another. But, what they did before that also counts.
Think of the good times and ask yourself this question:
Did this person hurt me so badly that I can’t seem to remember anything else?
If your answer is yes, then let go of them. But, make sure to give yourself some time first.
Don’t ask yourself any big question when you’re at your lowest. Make decisions only when you gain clarity.
5. Acknowledge their humanity
It’s okay to feel disappointed when someone you love hurts you. Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re exaggerating. Only you get to decide if something caused you pain.
Still, you will deal with it much easier if you remember that the other person is a flawed human being .
Think of the times YOU disappointed someone. Most of the time, you probably didn’t even want to. Sometimes, things happen that are out of our control.
Of course, that doesn’t justify us. But, this isn’t about justification anyway… just about understanding each other.
6. Did they cross your boundaries?
I recently had a fight with my significant other , and people didn’t understand why I was so disappointed.
They kept telling me that I was taking it too far, but acting like everything was fine felt like a form of self-betrayal .
But, then I heard a piece of advice that changed my life forever. My friend asked me:
How do you perceive his actions? Do you think he crossed your boundaries?
Yes! Boundaries! You, too, probably have something in mind that you think is unforgivable. If you feel that your loved one hurt you to that extent, know that it’s okay.
First and foremost, you need to be loyal to YOURSELF .
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they get to treat you like you don’t matter. It’s time you realize your worth.
You are allowed to erase them from your life if you consider this problem a big deal.
Just listen to your gut feeling. If it’s telling you that, after all, this person deserves a place in your life, then focus on fixing things.
7. Feel your feelings
Nobody likes being in pain. That’s why we’re often emotionally numb . We suppress our emotions in hope they’ll never emerge again. But, one way or another, they usually do.
How we feel affects our decisions and the life we create. That’s why it’s so important to be honest with yourself .
Even if it’s all too much, you need to sit down and listen to what your mind and heart are telling you.
Why? Well, because only by acknowledging what happened can you actually gain inner peace.
Trust me, nothing will change if you stay in one place. The pain will only become even more difficult to get rid of.
8. There’s no time limit
When you have a problem with someone, you should tread lightly. I know you’re eager to fix things, but rushing into anything can never do you much good.
Don’t think that you need to solve everything in just one day. And, ESPECIALLY don’t feel obligated to forgive your loved one as soon as possible.
Let me tell you my own story.
I had a falling out with a very close friend last summer. She did something that I just couldn’t get over. I tried to get past it, but the friendship felt too forced, so we parted ways.
However, as months passed by, I realized how much I missed her, so I reached out to her again, and now we’re as good as ever.
My point is this: Everything has its own timing. You don’t need to force a relationship of any kind just because you love someone. If you end up wanting them back, you will just KNOW.
9. See things from their point of view
The way you feel is valid, but that’s still only one part of the story. Have you ever thought about what the other person is going through right now?
It’s important to figure out why they did what they did.
Let’s say your friend was brutally honest with you about someone you’ve been hung up on for years.
You got disappointed because they were too harsh, but also because they ruined your delusional story. In that case, is it really them you’re mad at…or yourself?
In reality, maybe you just have an ego problem .
Your friend had only good intentions in mind. They want you to be happy, and not pursue someone who isn’t worthy of you. And, now you have rejected them instead of taking responsibility for your actions .
So, please, go through both sides of the story. See what’s what. Maybe you just need to stop being sensitive (I’m saying this for your own good.)
On the other hand, if you come to the conclusion that your loved one is a narcissist who doesn’t care about you at all, then put your mental health first and abandon such a toxic person.
10. Get creative
Each time you get disappointed when someone you love hurts you, remember you can always explore your creative side.
Do you love to paint or draw, perhaps? How about writing poetry? Maybe you prefer something lighter like cooking? Whatever your passion is, put your heart and soul into it.
Pain doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. It just depends on you to start perceiving it differently. Don’t fall into despair. Instead, create works of art!
You can write the most mesmerizing poems and paint the most colorful pictures, and your disappointment will lessen just like that. Even if it doesn’t, you will feel like it had a purpose.
After all, when something beautiful comes out of it, how could you not?
11. Do something you love
We all have something we really enjoy doing. What comes to your mind? Is it watching movies or going out for a walk? Or, maybe you prefer clubbing?
Whatever it is, it’s time to devote some time to it.
It’s okay to acknowledge your pain and sit with it for a while, but you need to take care of your mental health a bit more. And, that means living life to the fullest and celebrating yourself .
When I say this, I don’t encourage you to hide your feelings. On the contrary, let them be there, but still remind yourself that you deserve a happier and easier life.
You may be in pain, but it doesn’t define you as a person. Don’t give the one who hurt you such power that they ruin every good thing you have. Be gentler with yourself .
12. Love yourself more
When you love someone so much that it hurts , the disappointment is bound to be even bigger.
If someone that important to you hurt your feelings, you’re probably having a hard time finding comfort, and that’s understandable. But, try repeating these words to yourself:
Just because I love you doesn’t mean you deserve to be loved by me.
I know. It’s easier said than done, but think about how this person usually treats you. Was this the first time they hurt you? Or, has it been happening for a while?
If you have been allowing this to go on for a long time, that only shows how your sense of self-worth is.
Please, learn how to focus on yourself . Practice more self-love .
You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally… who will always come at your door to fix the problem whenever there is one.
Those who won’t simply aren’t deserving of you.
13. Write it down
One of the most effective cures for a broken heart is journaling.
Each time you’re disappointed when someone you love hurts you, but feel like you can’t tell them about it yet, just take a notebook and write your first entry.
Your whole personality will be contained in one little notebook, so it will be easier to observe who you have been and what you are yet to become.
If journaling isn’t all that appealing to you, you can always write a letter to the person who hurt you.
You could send it, but you don’t have to. This isn’t about them anyway. It’s about you processing your own emotions and letting go of everything .
Write it down, burn it, and prepare to be cleansed!
14. Learn your lesson
There’s a silver lining in every difficult situation . So, when you get disappointed when someone you love hurts you, try to see the good that might come out of it.
I know you probably find it impossible to do that right now, and that’s okay. It can’t happen while it’s still fresh. That’s why it’s so important to process your feelings.
Eventually, you’ll start seeing that it isn’t all so bad.
You might stop all contact with this person. It’s going to hurt because, after all, you love them. But, you will also learn that you deserve someone who will treat you kindly.
Or, if you still stay in touch, your relationship will only become stronger. Fights aren’t necessarily a deal breaker. Sometimes, they bring you closer.
Either way, you won’t be an emotional wreck forever. Just trust in what is coming.
15. Forgive, but move on
It goes without saying that if you were in an abusive relationship of any kind, you aren’t obligated to forgive this person. You don’t owe your abuser ANYTHING.
However, if it’s someone you had a nice relationship with, but this one mistake made it fall apart, you shouldn’t hold grudges .
You don’t have to allow them a place in your personal life, but like we said, this one deed doesn’t define your whole relationship. It’s just one aspect of it.
If you genuinely loved each other, you should cherish what you once shared. Forgive, but move on.
I had a best friend who disappointed me like no one else ever did, so I decided that it was best to start a new chapter . But, to this day, I think of her with fondness.
I don’t remember old wounds … I just remember how much I loved her.
Trust me, if you choose to see your present or past experiences this way, you will feel much better.
Hurt By The One You Love Quotes
1. ”It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” ― William Blake
2. ”It is not the pain. It’s who it came from.” – Unknown
3. ”If they keep hurting you, love them and stay or love yourself and leave.” – Sonya Parker
4. ”That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways.” – Chuck Palahniuk
5. ”So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” – E.A. Bucchianeri
6. ”My biggest mistake is thinking that people care for me as much as I do for them.” – Unknown
7. ”Stop crying rivers over someone who will not shed a single tear for you.” – Unknown
8. ”Not everyone you lose is a loss.” – Dan Mace
9. ”It may hurt to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.” – Unknown
10. ”When someone stabs you, it’s not your fault that you feel pain.” – Louise Penny
Being Deeply Hurt Quotes
1. ”I wish I could give you my pain just for one moment. Not to hurt you, but rather so you can finally understand how much you hurt me.” – Unknown
2. ”To hurt is as human as to breathe.” – J. K. Rowling
3. ”Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.” – Nikita Gill
4. ”You will never know the power of yourself until someone hurts you badly.” – Unknown
5. ”Just because somebody is strong enough to handle pain doesn’t mean they deserve it.” – Unknown
6. ”We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
7. ”If you learn how to forgive the people who hurt you, you will live a pleased life.” – Unknown
8. ”Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person you thought would never hurt you.” – Unknown
9. ”The way to heal from hurt is not to ignore or act oblivious of the fact that you have been hurt. You should talk about the hurt to heal.” – Unknown
10. ”Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley
Coping With Disappointment In Life Quotes
1. ”When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.” – Ryan Reynolds
2. ”One minute of sincere gratitude can wash away a lifetime’s disappointments.” – Silvia Hartmann
3. ”If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” – Henry David Thoreau
4. ”Sometimes, when you get disappointment, it makes you stronger.” – David Rudisha
5. ”We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
6. ”You will find that it is necessary to let things go simply for the reason that they are heavy.” – C. Joybell
7. ”Hope, but never expect. Look forward, but never wait.” – Unknown
8. ”Disappointment is really just a term for our refusal to look on the bright side.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
9. ”One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” – Henry Ward Beecher
10. ”Disappointment builds character and strength.” – Nafessa Williams
Final Thoughts
I hope you now know what to do each time you get disappointed when someone you love hurts you.
The 15 tips we went through will help you cope, so don’t ever stop practicing them. Choose the ones that feel right to you and the pain will be much easier to deal with!
The important thing is that you focus on yourself first. Think of your own well-being because nobody else deserves your attention more.
Love people, but don’t ever allow them to mistreat you just because you care about them. Eventually, you’ll learn to love only those who are gentle with you.