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How To Stop Being A Nice Guy In Relationships In 20 Steps

How To Stop Being A Nice Guy In Relationships In 20 Steps

Do nice guys finish last? Or do you just want to be an alpha male to get out of the friend zone? Here is how to stop being a nice guy.

Being a nice guy is not always the best way to go. The world is a cold place, and to get ahead, you need to be tough. The thing is, being too nice can make you seem weak or even a pushover.

People will take advantage of that kindness and may even think less of you for it. But if you have a strong sense of self, know your worth, and are able to confront people when needed, you’ll be respected in the long run.

On the other hand, being too mean will make people think you’re untrustworthy or unreliable. The key is to strike a balance between being too nice and too mean. This article will help you set boundaries for your niceness and stop being a people pleaser.

How To Stop Being A Nice Guy In 20 Ways

young man sitting in cafe thinking about something

So, how to stop being the nice guy? Being one isn’t always a good or bad thing, so here is a way to focus on your own needs and get your assertiveness across:

1. Build your self-esteem

When we are always nice to people and do everything they ask us to, we slowly start to lose our self-esteem. We feel like we have no control over what happens in our lives, and it is a downward spiral.

To break this cycle, we need to find ways of building up our own self-esteem, for example, by doing things that make us feel good about ourselves, like going on a walk or eating healthy food.

2. Focus on yourself

How to stop being the nice guy in a relationship? Well, you need to focus on your own needs and not people-please.

We often tend to be too nice and accommodating, which can lead to us being taken advantage of by others. We should stop thinking that it is our responsibility to make other people happy and instead focus on ourselves.

3. Take control

Did you do the most romantic things for your girlfriend, but you think you tried too hard? It’s time to stop being the nice guy. If you want to get the girl, if you want to get that promotion, if you want to be seen as someone who is in charge, then it is time for a change.

It has been proven that people are more likely to help those who are mean and rude than those who are kind and polite. This doesn’t mean that we should all turn into jerks, but it does mean we need to start making some changes

4. Get angry

man in coat standing outside

It is easy to be a nice guy. The worst part is that it is also easy to feel like a victim when you are always the nice guy. The problem is that you are not assertive enough, and you don’t set boundaries.

It can also be helpful to get angry at yourself to push yourself forward in becoming the new, better version of who you are.

5. Don’t give to get

If you want to be a good boyfriend, don’t give to get. In other words, don’t give your girlfriend something just so she can give you something in return.

Don’t give to get is a principle that is often used in marketing and sales. It means that you should never give something to someone without asking for something in return. It works in marketing, but not in relationships.

6. Make yourself a priority

You should not be nice to the point where it hurts you. It would help if you were not nice to the point where you cannot say no. You should not be nice to the point where you are sacrificing your happiness and well-being for others.

The way I see it, there is a difference between being “nice” and being “kind.” Being kind means putting your needs first but still considering other people’s needs as well.

7. Say no

man looking himself in mirror

Being the nice guy can also make you look like a pushover or somebody who doesn’t have strong opinions or values. We all know people who just want to be liked and want everyone to like them back.

They are the ones who always give in, don’t say no, and try too hard to please people. They would rather do something they don’t want to do than disappoint someone else by telling them no.

8. No fear

When people fear missing out on something, they become so engrossed in what they are doing, which leads to them being unable to make decisions. The problem with this phenomenon is that it makes people do activities that don’t add value to their lives or others.

But this person does not care because they don’t want to miss out on anything. This can lead people to become more self-centered and less empathetic than usual.

9. Don’t apologize

I’ve been in the position of apologizing for things I don’t even feel sorry about as well. As a result, people think I am a nice guy and that I am easy to manipulate.

Of curse, it’s okay to apologize when you’ve done something wrong, but when not, it’s a mood killer. The most important thing to remember about apologizing is that it doesn’t make people like or respect us more. It just makes them think we are weak, needy, and insecure.

10. Build character

man sitting by window

A nice guy is often someone who gets bashed on, taken advantage of, and eventually dumped.

There is a saying that goes, “nice guys finish last.” If you are a nice guy and want to stop being taken advantage of, then it’s time to build up your character. Show that you can be tough when needed.

11. Independence is key

Want to get out of the friend zone? Well, it’s time to act independently and be the person you are. To stop being the nice guy, you need to be independent.

If you depend on other people for your happiness, you will always be the nice guy. Many people think they need to be nice guys to get respect from others. There is nothing further from the truth.

12. Channel your energy

It is time to channel your energy into being the bad boy, or at least the one who sets boundaries. It can also make it difficult for you to find happiness in life as well as love.

There are many reasons why you should stop being a nice guy. For example, people will take advantage of you and abuse your kindness, not allowing you to focus your energy on the things you love.

13. Work on yourself

man working in office

To stop being a nice guy, you need to change your mindset. The first step is acknowledging that people only want you for what you can do for them, not who you are as a person.

Once you have accepted this fact, it becomes easier for you to be assertive and say no when people ask for your help or favors without feeling guilty about it. The next step is learning how to hold your ground in difficult situations without backing down.

14. Set boundaries

Being too nice can lead to a lot of problems in the long run. You should set boundaries and stop being the nice guy.

One way to set boundaries is by asking for help from others when we need it. This way, we can build stronger relationships with people who care about us and help us out when needed. Another thing we can do is practice saying no.

15. Be clear

Courting a woman requires us to be fully clear on our intentions. A lot of people are raised to be too nice, and they never learn how to say no or stand up for themselves.

This is a problem because it limits their potential in life if they don’t know how to stand up for themselves, negotiate, or ask for something they want. All they have to do is be clear.

16. Zero expectations

man sitting on bench looking into distance

People who have higher expectations of their own success and who have high standards for themselves are more likely to be successful in their love lives.

If you are too nice at work, people might think that they can take advantage of you and give you less than what they should. If you want to get ahead, stop being a nice guy.

17. Make time for the boys

It is important to make time for yourself and stop being a nice guy. Take time to care for yourself and your needs so that you can be happy.

Is there a better way than taking a vacation or having a boy’s night out? This is why you should take a break when you feel like everything is piling up.

18. Be an alpha male

Still thinking of how to stop being a nice guy? A lot of people are attracted to an alpha male. They want to feel like they have been conquered by him.

However, being an alpha male can be a double-edged sword as well. It can still keep you in the good guy trap. Remember, alpha males treat their girls right.

19. Don’t be on her side

man standing in kitchen texting

We are all guilty of being a nice guy. We always want to be on her side, the one who tries to make her happy and help her out. But when it comes to love and relationships, we need to stop being so nice.

We are not going to get what we want in a relationship if we’re always on her side and only understand her and not ourselves.

20. Don’t understand her

A man who is “too nice” may fear conflict and confrontation, so he avoids it at all costs. This avoidance can lead to him not standing up for himself or others when he needs to.

For instance, he will most probably not stand up for himself and always try to understand the woman in the relationship instead of himself.

Why Nice Guy Syndrome Is Deadly When Dating

man standing outside

“Nice guy syndrome” is a term used to describe men who believe they are entitled to a woman’s time and attention because they are “nice.” This good guy can be a coworker, best friend, one of your male friends, or other human beings.

They put women on a pedestal and think that if they are nice enough, they will be willing to date them. Or give him anything else in return for the common decency of being a nice person or perfect guy for any girl.

The problem with this is that these guys do not see women as equal partners in a relationship. They see them as someone who owes them something for being nice. And when she doesn’t give him what he wants, he gets frustrated and angry at her.

Therefore, I fully understand why you are searching for ways on how to stop being a nice guy. While this might seem like people-pleasing in a romantic relationship, it is still bad for your self-respect and self-worth. In the end, being nice means not wanting anything in return.

Nice guy syndrome is a term that was coined by Dr. Robert Glover in his book “Dating Essentials for Men.” This “syndrome” is often described as a set of behaviors that are typically associated with men who try to be what women want them to be.

It has been linked to many issues, such as depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse, not fulfilling one’s potential at work or school, and being unable to have successful relationships with other people.

Here is a list of reasons why nice guys finish last or why these men are a lot of times disregarded in the dating world:

• Their insecurities get the best of them.

• They are, in fact, assholes and not nice guys in the first place.

• They are boring upfront.

• They have no social skills

• They don’t take care of themselves.

• They are not genuine, or they fake it.

• Being nice isn’t the only thing women look for.

• They’re not looking for a healthy relationship.

What Is Wrong With Being A Nice Guy?

woman touching man's chest

If you are too nice, you may find yourself giving people what they want or need without regard for your own needs. In other words, you might neglect yourself. Is it seriously good to help people while not giving yourself nice things?

We live in a society that values and rewards the qualities of being nice, caring, and compassionate. But is it possible to be too nice?

You may also feel like you are walking on eggshells in an effort to avoid hurting other people’s feelings. These behaviors are not only exhausting, but they can lead to resentment and bitterness. Believe me, this is the best dating advice you can get.

It is important to balance being nice and standing up for yourself when necessary. There are times when it is necessary to say no or to set boundaries with other people. This goes especially if you are a nice guy or dating a nice guy.

Being a nice guy is not always an advantage and can also be a disadvantage in some cases. Many people think that being too nice is a sign of weakness that can lead to other people taking advantage of them.

Of course, it can cause them to resent people who do not give them what they want. In its essence, being nice with the goal of receiving a reward for it is not considered being nice. On the contrary, it is a covert contract.

If someone asks you for something that would be too much of an inconvenience for you, it’s okay to say no without feeling bad about it, even if you believe you’ve just met a nice guy or girl you like.

What Are The Signs Of A Nice Guy?

men looking into distance

Some guys are really nice. They’re the kind of guys you want to be friends with, but they’re not the kind of guys you want to date. Why? Well, because they have a few signs that make them seem like not just a nice guy but too nice.

Here is how you can spot a nice guy:

• He’s always there for you when you need him.

• You can’t tell if he is just being nice or attracted to you.

• He would do anything for you, so you have a hard time talking to him.

• He always makes sure that you have everything you need before he needs anything.

• He always pays you compliments and is really attentive towards your needs and wants.

• He’ll do anything for his friends and family because he cares about them so much.

• You think there is a secret agenda.

So, if you have any of these signs, it might mean you’re a nice guy. But are you too nice to date? Then, it’s time to search for how to stop being a nice guy and become the best version of yourself. Let’s face it, girls always choose a bad boy over a nice guy.

Remember, no one owes you anything for being nice, so you might as well show your true self and act naturally so girls can fall in love with you for who you are and not who you think they want you to be.

Truly nice guys are often misunderstood and taken advantage of. They are typically seen as shy, passive, and unthreatening to others. However, this is not always the case. The best way to identify a nice guy is by looking for these signs.

No More Mr. Nice Guy

young man looking into distance

Nice guys don’t always finish last. And even if they do, it’s not always such a bad thing. Nice guys often get a bad rap because they are too nice. But is that such a big deal? Well, once you start standing up for yourself, it is.

People think that they are so nice that it is disingenuous and manipulative. Still, some people may actually prefer to be around a guy who is genuinely kind and caring rather than someone who is cold and domineering.

Of course, if you do this for validation or due to low self-esteem, then it’s a problem. This is why I hope this article helped you understand how to stop being a nice guy and become one of the bad boys. You see, being Mr. Nice Guy also might mean you’re a doormat.