There is no doubt about one thing—unrequited love is one of the most painful things you can experience. It doesn’t matter if you are in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way, if your partner has stopped loving you or if they simply don’t love you enough. The point is the same—loving someone who doesn’t love you back sucks.
Besides feeling that your emotions are out of your control, you also wonder why you aren’t enough for this person to love you back. At the same time, you keep hoping that things will eventually change even though deep down you know they never will.
Obviously, coping with a one-way love situation is never easy, and that is something everyone who’s been there knows. What is even more difficult is saving yourself from it and getting over someone who doesn’t love you in the most harmless way possible. Nevertheless, it can be done, and here are 10 ways to do it.
1. Admit your feelings to yourself
The first step toward resolving any problem is recognizing it, and your situation is no exception. First and foremost, you need to stop running away from your feelings because pretending that they are not there won’t make them magically go away.
So, the truth is that you care for someone who doesn’t see you in the same way. That you love the person who doesn’t love you back the way you would want them to.
However, not being loved in return is nothing to be ashamed of. Instead of trying to repress your emotions, be brutally honest about everything you feel and about the way the other person might feel about you.
Once you express your feelings to yourself, you’ll know exactly what you have to deal with. Is this something temporary or your unrequited love for this person is deeper than that?
2. Don’t hold it inside
When you love someone for a long time, getting over them and moving on with your life is everything but easy. That is why it is something you shouldn’t have to go through alone.
Remember that there is nothing wrong in verbalizing your emotions and asking for advice from the people you know care for you. Holding your emotions inside and trying to fight them on your own doesn’t make you any stronger. Asking for help from your loved ones is the thing you ought to do every time you feel like you can’t take it anymore, and there is no shame in doing so.
3. Look at things optimistically
The thing you have to avoid if you want to stop loving someone is getting into despair and seeing this as if it’s the end of the world. Things like these simply happen to everyone and this is something you will get over quickly, even though you don’t know it at this moment.
Instead of looking at everything pessimistically, try your best to have a positive outlook on the situation. Remember that everything goes away sooner or later and so will this pain you are feeling now.
Think of all the situations from your past which appeared unresolvable for you. Nevertheless, you’ve managed to overcome all of your problems and obstacles, haven’t you?
So what makes this one different? What makes you think that you’ll be forever stuck in this situation?
I know that you don’t see a way out now but you have to trust me on this one—time heals all wounds, and it will do the same with yours. You just have to have faith in God and in your own strength that you will make it through this.
4. Accept the situation
The next step into this process is to really accept the harsh truth, no matter how painful it might be. It’s time for you to focus all of your energy on the present because it is the only way for you to take a leap into the bright future you deserve.
It is possible for this person to have you loved you in the past, and maybe that is the reason you keep holding on to them. Or you keep getting your hopes up that they will grow to love you sometime in the future.
STOP. You are living in this moment and this is the moment in which this person doesn’t love you. Stop thinking about what went on between the two of you, of everything that might happen and of all the things that could have been.
Stop loving this person into their potential, stop lying to yourself and waiting for a miraculous change to happen. Concentrate on getting out of this pain you are feeling right now and forget about everything else.
5. Don’t blame anyone for the situation
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you experience unrequited love is looking for someone to blame for everything. The same way you can’t force yourself to unlove someone, this person can’t force themself to give you back the love they’ve been getting from you.
So please, don’t think of yourself as a fool for feeling all of this. Don’t think of yourself as not enough or not worthy of love. Just because one person doesn’t care for you doesn’t mean that you’ll never get the love you deserve.
Also, do your best not to turn your disappointment into hatred towards the object of your affection. There is nothing wrong in having feelings for someone, but bitterness and unnecessary anger will only make you look desperate.
6. Give yourself time to heal
Before even starting with overcoming this emotional pain you are going through, I have to warn you not to expect miracles. No, this doesn’t mean that you’ll be forever hooked on this person. It only means that healthy healing is a process which takes energy, time and effort. So please, don’t expect to things to drastically change overnight.
Instead of pretending that you are OK, give yourself enough time to grieve. Instead of holding your emotions all bottled up, let them loose one way or another and let yourself heal.
If you feel like crying or screaming, this is exactly what you should do. If you want to take a few days to sleep it off, do that. Just make sure not to exaggerate, and don’t allow this behavior to become a habit of yours.
7. Break all ties
I’m sure you’ve already heard about the no contact rule. Well, in your case scenario, you won’t be using this technique to get your ex back but to help you forget the person you love.
What you have to do is cut all ties with this person, even if it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do. Understand that you can never get over someone if you are in constant touch with them, one way or another.
Block this person on all social media and delete their number! Stop showing up at places where you know you’ll encounter them, and at least in the beginning, try cutting off the people who remind you of them.
I know that sometimes, the only person who can make us feel better when we are at our lowest is the one who caused us to be that way in the first place. Nevertheless, every time you think of contacting them because you miss them, remember that if you do so, you’ll just prolong your agony and break your heart all over again. Put a stop to whatever relation you have with this person and tell your final goodbye to them because it’s the only way to help yourself be better.
8. Get rid of everything reminding you of the person
The same goes with getting rid of all the things that might remind you of the person you love. Throw away everything they gave you, delete all of your pictures together and stop listening to the songs that you connect with them. This is the only way for you to remove this person from your mind and heart, instead of just moving away from them physically.
9. Think of the good sides
Instead of looking at your heartbreak as the end of the world, try looking for its positive sides. Have in mind that this struggle is actually a blessing because it will without doubt teach you a valuable life lesson.
Think of this is as a test of your strength and as something which will shape you into becoming the best possible version of yourself. Falling in love with someone who doesn’t love you back will surely help you understand what should be your priorities it will teach you never to put so much effort into someone who doesn’t deserve it, and it will make you understand that loving yourself more than loving anyone else is always a must.
10. Enjoy your single life and do what makes you happy
After you’ve done all the necessary steps to help yourself get out of this painful situation, the next thing you have to do is make sure you don’t go back to feeling all of these emotions. And the only way to do it is to refocus all of your energy from this person to yourself.
Keep yourself busy at all times, so you have less time to think about your heartbreak. Do the things which make you happy, and enjoy every moment of your life.
Instead of trying to get over your ex by jumping into a new relationship, embrace your single life and get the most out of it. Work on improving yourself and on putting a smile back on your face because you are the only one who can do it.