Living in the era of technology, the Internet, smartphones and having the entire world at your fingertips is awesome. You can’t imagine your life without all those apps that make your life hell easier, can you? That is until the Internet becomes your biggest enemy.
Looking from the outside, it appears that he is a perfect husband and that you have a healthy relationship. But nobody knows that you keep asking yourself Why my husband looks at other females online?
Does this make him a cheater? Is it normal for married men to use social media to check out attractive women? Is looking at sexy women online different from gawking at them in front of you?
Most importantly, is this a sign that your marriage is over? Or is there something that can be done about it?
There is only one way to get the answers to all of these questions— to read on!
Why does my husband looks at other females online?
According to relationship experts, these are the most common reasons why your husband or boyfriend looks at other women online.
1. He thinks about cheating
I’ll be honest with you right from the start: if your hubby is ogling at beautiful women on the Internet, he feels sexual attraction to them. Maybe he’s fantasizing about sleepingwith them or is masturbating to their pics.
Either way, in this case, he thinks about cheating. He still hasn’t done it but he’s definitely planning on doing it, when the opportunity arises.
I don’t know if he’s active on Tinder and other online dating sites or if he’s just checking out his female friends on social media. Either way, he is probably looking for the most suitable woman to have an affair with.
2. … or he’s already doing it
Why does my husband look at other females online? Well, I hate to break it to you but there is a great chance that he’s being unfaithful.
When you accuse him of cheating, he probably tells you that it’s just for fun and that he would never do such thing in real life. But do you really believe him?
How can you be sure that he’s not a serial cheater who sleeps with the females he texts? How do you know that he doesn’t have an emotional affair with one or more of these women?
3. It’s a nasty habit
Let’s be clear about what exactly is your significant other is doing online. Is he watching women on social media or is he obsessed with porn stars? If the latter is the answer, then he might have a problem that requires professional help.
Don’t understand me wrong – there is nothing wrong with him visiting a porn site every now and then (of course, if that’s something you both agreed on being okay). In fact, you might do it together to spice up your sex life.
However, if he’s doing it all the time, any relationship expert will tell you that he probably suffers from porn addiction. This man is completely detached from the real world and he can no longer be turned on by a real-life woman.
4. Physical attraction and nothing more
Another reason why your man looks at different women online lies in the fact that he’s attracted to them. It’s not like he’ll fall in love with any of these females but one thing is for sure— they turn him on.
Is this fair towards you? Absolutely not! I know he has natural instincts but he’s also a married man who should have some self-control in the first place.
But if it comforts you, he only daydreams about these female bodies. He fantasizes about sleeping with them the same way he fantasizes about buying a Lamborghini— he knows he’ll never afford it but he thinks he’s not hurting anyone by thinking about it.
5. Keeping his options open
You two promised to be faithful to each other until death does you apart, right? Well, it looks like he hasn’t taken his vows as seriously as you did. He is not so sure about growing old with you.
Basically, he’s keeping his options open. He doesn’t actively plan on cheating nor did he actually do it. However, if someone he likes pops up, he’ll commit adultery or even leave you for this woman.
You’re good enough for the time being. Even though he married you, he sees your relationship as something temporary. You’re convenient and he thinks of you as wifey material— that’s why he keeps you around.
6. Spicing up your love life
Out of a million reasons why your man keeps on looking at other women on the Internet, I’m sure that this one hasn’t crossed your mind. Is it possible that he’s doing it because he wants to spice up your love or sex life?
This man is interested in an open relationship or a polyamorous one but he doesn’t know how to suggest this risky option to you. Yes, he’s still planning to sleep with another woman but the good news is that he won’t be doing it behind your back.
Or maybe he doesn’t want any kind of a romance with this woman? It’s quite likely that he wants to introduce someone new to your bedroom. He’s been dying to have a threesome but never had the guts to say it out loud.
7. He is looking for his ex
You’re asking me Why my husband looks at other females online? However, for you to get that answer, you must first know who he is looking at exactly.
What if these are not random half-naked women on the Internet who live across the world? What if he spends a lot of time online because he’s actually chatting with a woman from his past?
This man uses his social media accounts to talk to his ex, whom he clearly hadn’t forgotten about. Forget about his excuses— it’s pretty obvious that he still has feelings for her, otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried hiding her from you.
On the other hand, if he’s active on dating sites, he’s lurking around to see whether she’ll pop up anywhere— especially if he knows she’s still single!
8. He compares you to them
The sexy women your husband stares at on the Internet are always looking their best. I mean, no woman would post a picture of herself in old PJs and with greasy hair.
This is especially true if we’re talking about porn sites. The women he sees there are not realistic— they always wear make-up, have had a bunch of plastic surgeries, and wear only sexy lingerie to bed.
On the other hand, you’re the one he lives with. It’s impossible for you to look like you’ve just gotten off the runaway every single day.
However, your partner constantly compares you to these perfect women. He looks at them, thinking about everything he’s missing while he’s with you.
9. A way to heal his low self-esteem
If you’re wondering Why my husband looks at other females online, the first thing you should must have in mind is that you’re dealing with an insecure man. He has a fragile ego and suffers from incredibly low self-esteem.
He thinks he’s lost his magic and he wants to check whether he still has what it takes to win a girl over. In this case, it’s likely that he’s trying to cheat on you in real life as well— he just hasn’t had any success so far.
However, it’s easier to impress a woman online than in person. He lies to these females and pretends to be someone else, just to get their attention.
And when he gets some feedback, it makes him feel better. It heals his broken ego and skyrockets whatever is left of his self-confidence.
10. Your marriage is in a rut
This is no justification for your husband’s behavior but if your marriage has fallen into a rut, it’s one of the reasons he’s been checking out women on the Internet. It’s his getaway drug— a way to escape his boring, everyday life without actually committing adultery.
Of course, as a grown man, he should talk to you about your unhappy marriage instead of checking out other females. However, he sees this as the best option to bring some excitement to his life.
He flirts with them— there is no doubt about that. It’s what makes him feel alive and manly.
Instead of working on your marriage, he is looking for butterflies outside of it.
11. He’s no longer attracted to you
This will be a hard pill to swallow but your husband is no longer attracted to you. I’m not saying that he doesn’t love you as a person but the sexual attraction is definitely gone. Basically, he’s no longer in love with you.
Instead of seeing you as his wife and lover, you’ve become a roommate or a family member he deeply cares for and he’s used to having.
So, he’s looking for this sexual attraction outside of your marriage. He’s checking out sexy women online and is probably masturbating on their photos and text messages.
12. He stopped loving you
Well, it’s more complicated than that. The truth is that he wants a divorce but he’s not too honest to directly ask for it. Instead, he wants to make sure he has a place to go before he decides to leave you.
That’s right, he’s looking for a backup plan. And the safest way to do it without getting caught is on the Internet.
13. He has an online crush
If you’ve been catching your husband texting one woman over and over again, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but she is his online crush. The two of them have an emotional affair, even if nothing physical ever happened..
He talks to her all day long about literally everything. Even though you’re physically present next to him, the truth is that the two of them are more connected.
He might not be aware of it but he’s in love with her and it’s only a matter of time when their emotional affair will turn into something even bigger.
Here’s a piece of relationship advice: don’t take this lightly just because they’re not sleeping together— they have a tight bond and this is definitely something you should worry about!
14. He’s just bored
You know how you endlessly scroll through Instagram or TikTok? There is no purpose in it and most of the time, you have absolutely no idea what you’ve just watched. However, you keep doing it for some reason.
You stare at your phone while you eat, while you watch a TV show and practically, while you’re doing everything. Well, the same way you scroll through social media, your hubby looks at other females.
Don’t get me wrong— this doesn’t make it okay. But he’s just bored and sees this as a harmless distraction, without having anidea of how much he’s hurting you.
What should I do if my husband looks at other females online?
If you want to solve this problem, follow this step-by-step guide:
1. Find the cause of this behavior
The first thing you absolutely must do is find the cause of this behavior. Read the reasons mentioned above and see which one checks with your husband the most.
Instead of jumping to conclusions and assuming that he is cheating on you right away, give him the benefit of the doubt and analyze each possible reason he might be acting that way.
When did he start looking at females on the Internet? Was the change in his behavior connected to something else that happened in your marriage?
You need to be honest with yourself and get the answers to all of these questions to find the root of the problem.
2. Investigate a little deeper
For this next step, you’ll have to play detective. Even though snooping around your partner’s phone is never acceptable, desperate times call fordesperate measures. And I know that you’re more than desperate to find answers.
Remember how I told you that it’s crucial for you to know some things before reaching a conclusion?. For example, is he watching porn or is he on online dating sites? Is he texting one girl in particular or is he using his social media to chat with different women?
Well, now is the time to dig a little deeper and get all the answers you need. Without this information, you’ll never know what’s really going on here.
3. Show understanding
You know how they say— everybody is innocent until proven otherwise. That’s why I’m asking you not to accuse your husband of having an affair right away.
Do your best to look at things as objectively as possible. No, this is not me trying to justify his behavior or tell you that “boys will be boys”.
Looking at other women on the Internet is pretty much the same as looking at them in person. However, he is still a human being, and let’s face it— it’s not hard to stumble upon photos of half-naked women.
It’s clear that he has no self-control and that he is led by his natural instincts instead of reason. But I promise you: there is a possibility that he’s been doing this without knowing it would break your heart.
4. But don’t look for excuses
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should look for excuses for his behavior. Even if your relationship is in a bad place right now, this is not the way to fix it. On the contrary things will soon be even worse than they already are.
I’m not saying that you should act impulsively and file for a divorce right away. However, you mustn’t let it slide either.
If your husband knows that you’re not reacting to him watching other women online, he’ll immediately assume that you’re fine with it and that you’re giving him the green light to continue with this toxic behavior.
5. Confront him
The next step is to actually communicate with your husband. Be straightforward and tell him that you know what he’s been doing.
However, you must be careful about this one. It’s likely that he’ll try to manipulate you and turn everything around on you. Before you know it, you’ll start fighting about the fact that you were snooping through his phone and his online activities will be forgotten.
In order to avoid this, don’t tell him that you’ve been investigating his behavior. Instead, come up with an excuse on how you found out.
Tell him that you’ve seen his SnapChat record going up or that you’ve accidentally stumbled upon his secret Messenger conversations. If you know that he’s been on dating apps, tell him that your single friend matched with him on Tinder.
Be smart and bluff a little bit!
6. Explain why it bothers you
I have to warn you: your husband will tell you that you’re making a big deal out of nothing. He’ll even have the decency to say that you should be grateful that he’s not actually cheating on you and that he’s practically not doing anything wrong.
Well, that is exactly why you must explain to him why it bothers you and what is so hurtful about his behavior. Don’t sound too desperate but be clear about the fact that he is breaking your heart.
Also, don’t threaten him but make sure he sees the consequences of his actions on your marriage!
7. Find a solution together
Finally, you two have to find a solution together. Try meeting in the middle; nobody expects him to throw away his smart phone and get a burner phone instead but he can’t continue looking at other women on the Internet either.
The most important thing is to come up with healthy boundaries. What is acceptable and what are the things you’re not willing to tolerate?
8. Actions, not words
The harsh truth is that things aren’t over now that you’ve come up with a solution together. I don’t want you to become paranoid but you’ll have to keep an eye on your man for a little longer.
Don’t rely on his empty promises. Remember that actions are more important than words.
Check to see if he was lying to you when he promiseds not to do this ever again. Is it possible that he hasn’t stopped watching females online? Maybe he’s just gotten better at hiding it…
9. Don’t accept it as normal
Let me tell you one thing: your hubby is not blind and he has natural instincts. Therefore, expecting him to have eyes for you only is not realistic.
However, noticing a beautiful woman on the street or on a TV show is one thing. Gawking at different women online (or in-person) is something completely different.
I bet he’ll try to convince you that there is nothing wrong with his behavior, but trust me— this is a sign of disrespect.
Why does my husband look at online dating?
If your husband is active on online dating sites, it can mean one thing only: he’s either actively cheating on you or plans to do so. I won’t lie to you— your husband isn’t just looking at women online, without actually talking to them.
Instead, he is in search of a long-term mistress or just someone he can casually sleep with. Don’t let him fool you by telling you that he’s just watching.
I mean, there are other sites where he can look at half-naked women (even though that isn’t acceptable either if you’re in a committed relationship). Why would he go on dating sites if he’s not interested in dating?
How can I tell what my husband is looking at on his phone?
The best way to find out what your hubby is doing on his phone is to install a monitoring tool on his device. There are numerous Android and iOS apps that allow you to track someone’s location, go through their search history and read all of their messages.
Of course, you’ll need to have access to his phone to install one of these apps. But the good news is that if you get into it once, you can track him for as long as you want.
Another way to see what your man looks at on his phone is good, old snooping. Just take his phone, go through his search history, and read through his text messages.
To Wrap Up:
I can tell you one thing: you’re definitely not the only woman who has asked: Why does my husband looks at other females online? Nevertheless, just because this behavior is quite common nowadays, it doesn’t make it normal.
Don’t tolerate his wandering eyes and see this as a big deal because that’s exactly what it is.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that your relationship has come to its end but you have to take this issue seriously and work on resolving it as soon as possible if you want to save your marriage!
I’ll be honest with you: looking the other way would be much easier. You hope that he’s not having an actual sexual affair and that him chatting with attractive women doesn’t do your marriage any actual harm.
But trust me, if you think this way, you’re lying to yourself. Instead of pretending that everything is in perfect order, look the truth in the eyes and take the necessary steps to fix your broken marriage!