Some situations in life are best dealt with by walking away from them. Blocking someone works the same way: you’re done and gone, bye. But it’s not always that easy.
Most of the time, you block a guy when you can’t deal with him anymore. You either broke up and want to move on, you’ve been talking and don’t like his behavior, or you’re not interested, but he won’t take the hint.
Why you care what happens when he realizes you blocked him depends completely on your reason for blocking him. If you’ve blocked him to make him miss you, though, you’re setting yourself up for heartache.
Keep reading because we’ll tackle all the reasons for blocking him and how to handle these situations in a way that will benefit you the most.
Will He Get In Touch When He Realizes You Blocked Him?
You block a guy for one of two reasons: you really want nothing to do with him, or you’re trying to play games. There’s a third option somewhere in between where you’re kind of sick of him, but you’d give him a chance.
The short answer is, he’ll probably get in touch if you give him any hint that you’re still into him. But this isn’t what you should be focusing on. Instead, think about a) why he’s doing it in the first place and b) what it’s going to be like if you take him back.
Why did he come running when you closed the door? Just to see that you still want him and that he can still have you. It’s not because he’s suddenly changed for the better or because he regrets how he treated you.
Don’t get excited because he’s back and pretends that he’s changed. You know he hasn’t. What was he like before you broke up and you blocked him? He’ll be the same again.
Right now, the most important questions are:
1. Are you done with him and hoping that blocking him will get him to leave you alone?
Whether a guy you’ve blocked because you don’t want him in your life will leave you alone depends on a lot of things, but mostly on what kind of guy he is. A guy who isn’t toxic but your relationship just didn’t work out will probably understand why you had to cut him off.
Is he selfish and egotistical, and you’ve had enough? He probably won’t be able to stand that you’re moving on, and he might show up at your front door looking to see if he still has power over you.
Don’t let him reel you back in – control the situation by any means necessary. As long as he keeps finding ways to contact you, you should stand your ground and keep rejecting him until he gets it into his head.
Your main focus should be to continue saying no and remember why you don’t want him in your life.
2. Did you block him because you’re hoping that this is a way to get him to want you?
Let’s get straight to the point: if you’re resorting to blocking him to get his attention, you’re only hurting yourself. If the question “What happens when he realizes I blocked him?” really means “Will he miss me and come looking for me?” then the answer is “No.”
The only thing he’ll miss is knowing that you’re available whenever he wants, and he’ll try to change that.
You’re only helping him in getting the ego boost that comes from knowing he can come back to mess with you whenever he wants, only to go back to his ways as soon as he proves his point.
By blocking him just to play mind games, you gain nothing. When you’re dealing with a narcissist or a common variety jerk, he’ll try to get in contact with you when you block him to get validation that he can get you at any time, and when he gets what he wants, you’ll be left hurt and alone.
See also: How To Annoy Your Boyfriend: 160 Ideas
Why Blocking Is Good For You
First of all, you shouldn’t be afraid of the block feature. I bet both your private contact list and your social media accounts would probably make you happier if you blocked a few people right now.
For example, if someone is negative or annoying on social media or posts things that upset you, you don’t have to deal with it. Unfriending, unfollowing, and blocking are a form of setting boundaries and a way to practice self-care.
Blocking isn’t an extreme step to take, and you don’t owe anyone to be in contact with them if you don’t want to. It’s not a power trip to choose who you want to talk to and what you want to see.
9 good reasons to block him + 1 wrong reason to do so
Some people talk about the psychological impact of getting blocked like it’s their basic human right for you to be available. If someone is accusing you of being rude or immature for doing it, they’re probably offended that you’re prioritizing your own well-being over them.
Because blocking is seen as such a mean thing to do, you might not even think of doing it when you really should. Here are some situations in which you should block a guy.
1. You broke up, and you want to get over him
When you accept the break-up and want to move on, the most effective way to do so is to use the no contact rule. Distancing yourself from your ex-boyfriend completely helps you gain perspective and removes the temptation to reach out.
You don’t have to let him know you’re going to block him. If you’re broken up and you’re done, you’re doing what’s best for you by removing all the ways to keep in touch. If he manages to contact you when he realizes you blocked him, stay firm and keep saying no to any kind of conversation, hanging out, or attempts at reconciliation.
Staying friends when you need to get over someone is impossible. Maybe in the future it can happen, but right now, you should protect yourself and not let him lure you back in. Think of the reasons you broke up, and if those reasons still exist, hold your own and don’t unblock him.
2. You’re over him, but you still don’t want to keep in touch
If some time has passed and you managed to get over him, it doesn’t have to mean that you have to talk to him or be friends. Some people who were unable to make their romantic relationship work can move on from it, but don’t feel pressure to try to stay friends if you don’t want to.
This is especially true if your relationship had a lot of problems or if you were unhappy about how he treated you. Even after some time has passed, and you’re sure you’re over him, you don’t have to have any contact with him whatsoever.
3. You started seeing someone else and don’t want him involved
When you enter a new relationship after breaking up with a guy who likes to know your business, blocking him is your best option. If you’ve moved on, you don’t need reminders, passive-aggressive remarks, and comments from your ex.
Don’t just cut off contact when it comes to calls and text messages. If you block him on social media, you won’t have to deal with comments on pictures about how he also has a new girlfriend or whatever else he feels compelled to say.
4. You like him, but you don’t think a relationship is possible
Just liking someone isn’t always enough for a relationship. There can be a ton of reasons for it, from different values to circumstances. It’s a good idea not to play yourself but move on before your feelings become too strong and heartbreak becomes inevitable.
Blocking a guy you’re just getting to know might seem like too much, but do you really want to keep seeing him on your timeline looking all cute when you know you’ll fall in love and nothing can come from it? Block him for your peace of mind.
5. You’re not interested in him, and he won’t accept it
Some guys think that they can wear you down by being persistent when you don’t like them. The sad thing is, sometimes they succeed because some women decide to settle or feel sorry for them, so they give them a chance.
When you make it clear that you don’t want to talk to him, but he still tries to pursue you, he’s not being a romantic fool in love – he’s disrespecting you. It’s not cute that he doesn’t take your ‘no’ seriously, no matter what he says.
Block a man like this as soon as he shows you what he’s like.
6. He’s too much
Someone who you might have liked can change the way you feel by being too much too soon. There are people who like to move fast in relationships, and so as long as you’re on the same page, it’s not a problem.
If he starts saying how you’re his entire world while you’re still not sure you want to know his last name, it might be a good idea to cut him off. He might simply be the type who falls easily, but it also might be a red flag that he’s playing a game.
7. He’s a player
When he’s clearly a player, it’s a good idea to block him immediately. If he comes on too strong as soon as you meet, makes sexual comments the first time you talk to each other and is generally skeevy, don’t give him the time of day.
Sooner or later, a guy like that is going to hurt you, so it’s best to stop things before they even start. Your self-esteem will thank you.
8. He isn’t single
If you know or suspect that he might be in a relationship, you should really have nothing to do with him. He probably has multiple fake accounts or profiles where he talks with multiple women until one or more bites.
Cut him off while you still can because a guy like this won’t change, no matter what he says. If he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.
9. He’s toxic or a narcissist
A man who’s a liar, who always makes you feel insecure or emotionally exhausted, and if you’re always unhappy, will turn your entire relationship into a struggle that will only benefit him.
Staying with him can hurt you deeply and might have a devastating effect on your emotional state and influence all your future relationships.
If you notice signs that he’s toxic, you shouldn’t only stop seeing him – you should block him everywhere, from WhatsApp and Facebook to blocking his phone number. If he’s a narcissist, you should recognize his emotional abuse and get out before it’s too late.
+ The wrong reasons you’re blocking him. (Don’t unblock him!)
The wrong reason to block him is to play mind games. You’re forcing your relationship if you’ve blocked him:
- to gain control
- to get him to apologize
- to try to prove a point
- to make him care
- to get him to come back
If your past relationships were the kind where you had to do things like this so you’re used to it, you might not even be aware that you’re doing it. By chasing him, you’re only hurting yourself and giving him the satisfaction of having the upper hand.
Still, forget about unblocking him once you’ve done it. You wouldn’t block a good guy who treats you with respect and appreciates you and if you wanted to be with him. Your relationship is clearly not good for you if you feel like you need to manipulate him.
Instead, use this opportunity to keep him blocked for real. If he reaches out when he realizes you blocked him, don’t take him back. Keep saying no, and let him know that this time you’re serious and mean it.
Use the no contact rule to really get over him and make space for a man who will cherish you.
How does a guy feel when he realizes you blocked him?
Why do you care in the first place? Why do the feelings of a man who didn’t treat you right matter at all? At this point, you shouldn’t concern yourself with his feelings, and you especially shouldn’t obsess about it and try to make excuses for him.
If you’ve blocked him because you broke up and you genuinely want to get over him, you shouldn’t be thinking about how he feels. Your priority should be to protect your own feelings.
If you’ve blocked him to try to get him to miss you and come back, you’re fooling yourself. You probably want to hear that when he realizes you’ve blocked him, he’ll feel compelled to come running, but he’ll only seek you out to get something out of it.
Everything will end in the same way again after he gets sex, sees that you’re still under his control, or whatever else he might be after. You did the right thing by blocking him – now let him go.
How to follow through and not take him back?
You know you should stop pining and stop playing, but it can be so hard. Keep in mind that if he comes back, it’s not because he loves you and wants to change his ways, but his ego likes it that he can keep you on the hook.
This is how to focus and keep him blocked and away:
1. Be honest with yourself about him
You know what he’s like. He won’t go through your loved ones or mutual friends to get in touch with you because he’s a changed man. Do you think he suddenly decided to commit to your relationship and do what you need him to do? That only happens in movies, and you know this.
Your hope that it might still happen is what makes you lie to yourself, even when deep down you know he’ll never treat you right. But you deserve better than what he gives you. Admit that all he does is hurt you and find love for yourself inside of you.
2. Keep him blocked to keep him out
When you don’t know what he’s up to, and he doesn’t know what you’re up to, it’s easier to keep your distance. If you’re keeping him away however you can, you won’t be tempted to do something stupid.
Block him on all social media and apps. Avoid talking to people about him. If he comes knocking, don’t let him in. If he uses a different number to contact you, hang up and don’t reply to his texts.
How do you do this? Think of all the bad things from your relationship. Think about why you broke up and how you felt. Think about what will happen if you respond to him.
He might ignore your text because he only called to check in to see that he could. If he replies, he’ll mess with you and go back to treating you how he used to. He’ll have his fun, and you’ll be back to square one.
3. Live your life
• Keep busy
Do fun things that make you happy. Socialize with friends and family and don’t talk about him. Find a hobby, and if it’s something you can do with others, you’ll meet new people. Go out. Focus on your work.
• Think about the future
Think about what your life would be like if he’s not in your life. Are you miserable, pining and waiting for him to call you when he feels like it, or have you moved on and made space for a relationship with a man who appreciates you and loves you?
• Go to therapy if you feel it could help
If it feels like going through this is too hard, getting professional help could be just what you need. A therapist can lead you to understand your feelings and make it easier to get over him.
You might only need a couple of sessions to shed light on your situation, but it’s also possible that it will take a long time. Either way, you’ll come out of therapy better skilled to deal with life than when you started.
• Be diligent about self-care
Self-care has several forms: physical self-care, emotional self-care, mental self-care, etc. It’s all about what you need, so it might be different for you than for someone else.
Physical self-care can be sleeping well, getting enough sunlight, or going for a walk. Mental self-care is about taking care of your mind, so it can mean taking a break, watching a funny video, or meditating.
Emotional self-care is especially important at this point. It can be anything you need emotionally, such as asking for help, putting your needs first, and being firm about your boundaries. What you don’t need is him, and you know it.
Don’t Unblock Him
When you block a guy, you should stick to it at least until the reasons for blocking him no longer exist. So if you’ve blocked your ex to get over him, don’t unblock him until you’ve completely moved on, and maybe not even then.
What you definitely shouldn’t do is expect him to magically change and start treating you right if he didn’t before. Don’t make excuses for him and justify his behavior.
You’ve blocked him for a reason, so instead of wondering what he’s going to do when he realizes you blocked him, make sure that you keep him out whatever he does.